ASHLEY SPIVEY’S BACHELOR PAD BLOG: EPISODE 5

This was by far, the craziest Bachelor Pad episode that I have ever seen.  Whether it was the unlikely pairing of two couples, or the crazy switcheroo that happened at the end  – I really was entertained by this episode!

 

Let’s talk about episode 5 – THE CRAZIEST EPISODE EVER!

 

 

Chris, still pissed about being lied to, decides to handle it maturely by jumping in bed and throwing the covers over his head.

 

 

Everyone in the house is fed up with Chris’ emotional behavior and even his own alliance decides that he will be the next to go, undoubtedly with Sarah in tow.

 

 

Chris is especially mad at Kalon, one of his best friends in the house that lied to him about voting for Blakeley.  Kalon has admitted to telling at least 17 lies in one night so I don’t understand why this was a surprise.

 

 

Chris, still acting in a grown@$$ man manner, decides to throw rose petals at Kalon to show him who the bigger man really is.

 

 

CBEF isn’t done yet though!  He decides that hiding under the covers isn’t achieving anything, so he decides to confront Ed about lying to him.  This Chris utters this mysterious statement: “You said it right to my eyes!” – in regards to lying about voting for Blakeley.  I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve never had anyone say anything to my eyes.  That would be weird, especially since our eyes can’t hear.  Maybe CBEF possesses special powers?

 

 

Ed isn’t having any of this childish nonsense and decides to out-yell Chris.  NO ONE TELLS ED WHAT TO DO!  JACLYN IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT HAS BEEN LOYAL TO HIM!

 

 

To really get his point across, Ed destroys a perfectly good wine glass on the floor to show that he means business y’all!

 

 

Seems, viewers aren’t the only ones that are tired of the tantrums.

 

 

It’s challenge time!  Blakeley holds an unfair advantage in this challenge because it requires mad waitressing skills and she was a Hooters girl for 13 years.  Tony pretends that he didn’t just hear this.

 

 

The girls are pretty awful at balancing the 7 cups and saucers but Erica Rose pretty much doesn’t even try.  As funny as I think Erica is, I really wish that she would try harder in these challenges; otherwise, she’s always the easiest target to vote out.

 

 

Blakeley, of course, is amazing during this challenge and I have to say that I really like her competitive nature!  I know it’s intense but I respect that she is trying to hard to win this game!

 

 

Sarah temporarily has the lead but then makes a huge mistake by touching the top of the cup tower while walking towards the finish line.

 

 

Sarah gets disqualified…

 

 

…which results in Blakeley winning the competition.  Chris is pissed!

 

 

Blakeley coaches Tony to victory during the men’s turn and I pretend that this is what Blakeley was saying to Tony – http://www.boreme.com/posting.php?id=5897 (fast forward to minute 2:30).

 

 

Honestly, things really couldn’t have gone worse for Chris during that challenge.

 

 

Never one to hide his feelings, Chris openly flaunts his poutiness over Blakeley and Tony winning the challenge.

 

 

Knowing that Chris is super-pissed at Kalon, Blakeley decides to give the rose to him!  She is really sticking it to him – hard!

 

 

Harrison tells Blakeley that because she is taking Tony on the date, there will also be another date that week.  Blakeley can either choose to go a date that day, which will not be an overnight date, or go on a later date that will be an overnight date.

 

Of course they would pick the overnight date!!!

 

 

Lindzi and Kalon will be going on the date that day/night and I just have to say that Lindzi’s hair looks amazing!  I really like this color much better than on Ben’s season and she styles it really well!

 

 

The date card arrives with two boxes, one of which holds some jewelry for Lindzi and a set of Bentley keys for Kalon.

 

 

Blakeley is kicking herself.

 

 

No really y’all, Blakeley is trying really hard to not act like she is disappointed.

 

 

Kalon and Lindzi take the Bentley to a secluded bridge where a candlelight dinner has been set up for the two of them.  Kalon basically admits that he was never into Emily but he likes Lindzi because she allows him to be himself.

 

 

As much as I don’t want to admit it, I actually think Lindzi and Kalon are pretty cute together.

 

 

Back at the house, Chris is still mad about Kalon so he decides to ruin KaLindzi’s happiness by getting Lindzi voted out of the house.

 

 

Did anyone else laugh when they saw KaLindzi making out on the hood of the car?  I thought that only happened to Sarah or in Whitesnake videos.   Sometimes this show’s cheesiness cracks me up.

 

The date card arrives for Blakeley and Tony and when it says that the two are going to see the stars – you can practically see the grand things that Blakeley is imagining for this date!

 

 

Then they go outside and I’m sure that Blakeley felt like donkey punching the producers.

 

 

Just kidding!  This is a hawk anyways!

 

 

The date keeps getting worse and worse for Blakeley who had imagined that they would definitely be taking a helicopter since it was an overnight date.  Truth be told, I actually felt pretty sad for both of them because they both never received one-on-one dates during their time on Bachelor/Bachelorette so I kinda felt like they got jipped on this date.

 

 

However, this is more like real-life anyways!  If the two of them can make the best out of the situation then that says more about them as a couple!

 

 

Back at the house, Chris apologizes to Ed and tries to get him in on the plan to vote out Lindzi…

 

 

…while KaLindzi/Lindzon (?)  have a pretty steamy makeout session in the grossest hot tub in the history of reality tv.

 

 

During the date, I start to get a little worried about Blakeley and Tony because I notice that Blakeley isn’t making eye contact with Tony a lot.  However, once she starts talking about how she is scared and has been hurt a lot in the past, her eye behavior starts making a lot more sense.

 

 

Speaking of eye contact, I think Rachel and Michael are really cute.  However, he wasn’t gazing at her lovingly during this little exchange like Rachel was and it made me a little scared for her.  Maybe he’s still scared of getting hurt?  Maybe she’s more into it than he is?  What do y’all think?

 

 

Then, in a really awkward Bachelor/Bachelor Pad moment – Tony decides to slow dance with Blakeley to the most overplayed song in Bachelor history, Wes’s “Love Don’t Come Easy!”  Why is this weird?  Blakeley and Wes used to be something.  I don’t know if they dated, just hung out, whatevs  – but they were definitely connected in someway!

 

 

I thought that Tony and Blakeley were kind of awkward at first as a couple but by the end of this date I thought they were really cute.  So I made up a new word for them – AWKUTE!

 

 

When Tony and Blakeley get back from their date, Chris displays a face that only McKayla Meroney could love.  If I were him, I’d at least be trying to get back into everyone’s good graces so I wouldn’t be sent home!

 

 

Chris decides to talk to Tony and persuade him to give Sarah the rose.

 

 

Blakeley quickly reminds Tony that he must be loyal to his partner and stick to the decision that they had made the night before.

 

 

Tony and Blakeley decide to give the rose to Jaclyn, since she is a part of their alliance and a good friend.

 

Now I know a lot of you are shaking your head and saying, “Wait, didn’t Jaclyn talk badly about Blakeley in the first episode?”  Yes, Jaclyn did.  Jaclyn didn’t view Blakeley as a good friend before going on the show and she was worried that Blakeley’s behavior would negatively affect their alliance’s game plans.  That all changed after thru both of their actions, they both proved that they could trust each other and they both misjudged each other.  They had a big talk about everything and Jaclyn told her everything that she had said about her and how wrong she was about her.  Blakeley learned that she could trust Jaclyn and that she wasn’t out to get her or backstab her.

 

After this, they got super close and Blakeley even did Jaclyn’s hair and makeup for her date last week with Ed.  Also, y’all can check Blakeley’s twitter or instagram where she has referred to Jaclyn as a best friend numerous times.

 

If Blakeley has forgiven Jaclyn for saying those things, then we shouldn’t worry about that exchange on the first episode.  I, for one, can admit that I’ve said some bad things about someone and then later learned that I was wrong.  On my season, Shawntel once admitted to me that she said bad things about me in some interviews but then apologized to me and said that she was wrong!  And she’s one of the nicest people ever!  It happens y’all!

 

Ok – rant over.

 

 

Did y’all not cringe a little when Blakeley said that Tony was domesticated?  I just imagine him being a little dog!

 

 

Speaking of cringing, how bad was Ed’s response to Harrison that he wasn’t on the show to find love?

 

 

I know it was hard for Jaclyn to hear that and I know it was even more horrible to have everyone else hear that.  However, I have been reassured that things are going to turn out a little differently in next week’s episode.

 

 

I think Ed’s comment was also a little dumb because up until this point, they have been a very united front in the house with the strongest bond!  This comment made it seem like the most powerful “couple” in the house is about to have some major problems.  Not very strategic.

 

 

Oh shoot!  Harrison just changed the game!  Instead of having their usual voting ceremony – everyone will now pick a girl to go home and that girl will pick a guy to take with her.

 

 

The plan to vote out Chris goes all to hell with the new rules so he tells everyone that they can no longer vote for Sarah because she will take out one of the big dogs like Ed or Michael.  Then Michael gets the crazy idea to vote off Erica…

 

 

…and he will tell her that it was Chris’ idea so she will take him with her.  However, Michael really should have waited until Chris voted to tell Erica that CBEF came up with the plan to vote her out.

 

 

Yep, things are still awkward between Ed and Jaclyn in case you were wondering.

 

 

Michael knows that his plan is crazy and that he is doing a pretty crappy thing since him and Erica Rose are pretty good friends, but he rationalizes his decision by saying that he is doing it because she isn’t in their alliance.

 

 

Erica hears that Chris is trying to get her voted off from Jaclyn and she immediately goes on a rampage.  She tells Chris that she will take him down with her and she calls Sarah (her best friend in the house) a bad friend.

 

 

However, Michael forgot one important factor in his plan.  CHRIS NEVER VOTED!  Chris decides to take Erica Rose into the voting room with him and show that Michael and everyone else has been lying to her – Chris voted for Lindzi.

 

 

After this, Michael knows that he is definitely going home if Erica gets voted off.  Also, I’ve heard rumors that lawyers were brought into the situation at this point to see if all of this was legal behavior!  I bet everyone was freaking out so hard!

 

 

In the end, Erica was voted out and she decides that she is going to make the game fair for everyone by removing the puppetmaster– Michael.

 

 

While I think this was the obvious decision, I think her comments about Holly and Michael and Blake were really horrible.  I get that she was hurt and mad but saying hurtful things when you are pissed is never a good idea.

 

 

So the alliance lost a VERY key player and Rachel almost left Bachelor Pad.  I think it’s pretty safe to say that the Pad will not be the same next week!

 

So what did y’all think about this week’s episode?  Was Chris’ behavior ok?  Are we liking KaLindzi and Blony (haha)?  Did Ed’s comment shock you?  Were you disappointed in Michael or Erica?

 

See you all next week and check out my other blog, http://www.saynotocosmo.com, for more Bachelor and Bachelorette news, relationships advice, and some other random musings from me!

 

42 Comments »

  1. #1 Chris is so pouty and ugly. He looks like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons (google and compare.) Soon he is going to tell Ed to “release the hounds.”

    #2 Kalon and Lindzi, blah, blah blah. I appreciate the attempt to improve his image, but I am not buying it.

    #3 Ed is a supreme douche licker, so I am not surprised at his comments. Shame on Jaclyn for getting involved with him knowing his history.

    #4 Gotta love Erica Rose for dishing out the just desserts! Michael got what he deserves, plus a little extra for being so cocky this entire season.

    Comment by formerfan — August 21, 2012 @ 11:24 am

  2. I was not a big fan of Erica in the first place and hearing her throw the Holly situation in Michael’s face just increased my dislike of her even though it was an obvious choice to eliminate him for game’s strategy sake but she definitely crossed the line, of course I am a huge Michael Stag fan. And I am a huge fan of your blog too, you are always right on the mark!

    Comment by Lisa — August 21, 2012 @ 11:29 am

  3. Your blogs are so funny Ashley!

    I definitely related to you more than anyone when you were on the Bachelor so I love reading your view on this stuff! Your comments about Chris crack me up! He is kind of driving me crazy. As much as I’m sure he’s probably a good guy (Emily says so)… He’s made some awful moves on this show and he definitely comes off as a total jerk!

    That twist definitely sucked for the power couple alliance but ABC sure did a good job of keeping things interesting!

    I was a little surprised when Michael started the plan to get Erica off because they always seemed like such good friends. However, he did help keep her around the first 2 weeks when people wanted her gone and in reality she wasn’t in their alliance. She played the game last year and saw how important partnering up is and she never made an attempt to find a partner this time around. Although I don’t necessarily agree with lying to your friends the way Michael did I was just appalled by Erica’s words about Holly, Blake and Michael. It just was a really low blow that wasn’t necessary at all… She would have had so much respect taking out the key power player by doing it purely for strategic and game changing reasons. It broke my heart to see how upset it made Rach and all the other girls.

    I hope that Michael and Erica can work this out and that Michael and Rach are still together!

    On another side note… I secretly love Kalon and Lindzi…

    Thanks again for another great blog!

    Comment by Candice — August 21, 2012 @ 11:32 am

  4. I think that the comments from Erica were completely uncalled for! I think that Michael is a sweetheart and did what he felt was required to play the game! I LOST ALL RESPECT FOR ERICA AFTER HER COMMENTS!!!!! Okay my rant is over…Obviously I LOVE MICHAEL!!! <3 <3 <3

    Comment by Kaitlyn — August 21, 2012 @ 11:33 am

  5. Loved the pic of the freakin Hawk ‘what’s Chris doing here?’ Hilarious!! Love Kalon and Lindzi I think they are super cute together and the fact that they are STILL together makes them even more awesome.. Ed wasn’t very nice but I still like him bc he is just too funny.. and I’m going to miss Michael.. Love your blog!!

    Comment by Stephanie — August 21, 2012 @ 11:35 am

  6. erica has an awfully high opinion of herself and her “right” to stay at the pad for someone who brings absolutely nothing to the game except snide (and admittedly sometimes funny) comments. she does not win challenges, she can’t guarantee votes for anyone, and the only reason she stayed on the first two weeks is because michael had her back (and the noobs were easy scapegoats). her comments to stag at the end were just evil. good riddance, and i’m embarrassed that she represents my hometown.

    Comment by eio — August 21, 2012 @ 11:37 am

  7. Erica’s comments to Michael were below the belt. I understand she was hurt but that was just cruel.
    I felt so terrible for poor Jaclyn…I imagine she felt so used in that moment.
    And I can’t believe I’m saying this but I actually like Kalon and Lindzi together. I thought he was a terrible person last season but maybe it took the right woman to bring out the best in him?

    Comment by Amy — August 21, 2012 @ 11:45 am

  8. Favorite picture is definitely of the hawk, asking why chris is on their date.. LOL priceless.

    Comment by Leah — August 21, 2012 @ 11:51 am

  9. Micheal could have saved it in the end. if he wuold have told Emily that Chris changed his vote last minute to get her off and take him(micheal) with her. explaining that it made no sense for him Chris to vote for Lindzi as she will take chris with her.

    Comment by nate — August 21, 2012 @ 11:55 am

  10. At first Erica said that she understood the lying…that it happens and she has done it too. But then the turn around about Holly was horrible.
    Something about Tony… i don’t know. I just…can’t handle. Even his “sorry girl” that he gives when he votes. It just makes me…there aren’t really words. I don’t get it Blakely. I don’t get it.

    Comment by kendra — August 21, 2012 @ 11:57 am

  11. I love reading your blog, and the comments that are posted early on. Later, everyone goes nuts and posts ridiculous things.

    I have to say that Chis is a little sooky boy with anger issues. He lies to people (especially Jamie and Blakely) yet is in sensed that anyone should lie to him. I absolutely loved it that Blakely won the challenge just to see Chris’s reaction. Priceless.

    I am enjoying Blakely. She is intense but she is passionate about winning the game and that is ok by me. I also believe that she is vulnerable like most of us, and it was really nice to see Tony treat her so well, and make her feel special. I am disgusted with the negative comments about her being a waitress. We all go out to eat, and could not do so if people did not fulfill these jobs. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a waitress, they can actually make really great money.

    Ed is as big of an ass as Chris, yet instead of being an angry man he is a goofy drunk, so people tend to look past his promiscuity and unfaithfulness. Can you imagine if you were the girl back home that he was seeing. I hope she runs for the hills.

    Jacklyn is funny. I enjoy Kalons humor. I will miss Michaels commentary; however, am not necessarily sad to see him go. He won last year so he was around longer than he should have been.

    Erica does not like anyone to say anything negative about her; however, she continues to say below the belt comments about anyone. Not classy at all. On her Judging Erica show she said she has a below the belt comment to make about Kalon on the reunion show. She needs to grow up and become a better person by keeping the negative comments to herself.

    Lastly, I hope a waitress spits on Chris’s, Sarah, and Erica’s next meal!

    Comment by tj — August 21, 2012 @ 12:06 pm

  12. #1 Chris’ behavior was not ok! He proves his immaturity more and more every week. Pouting around the house isn’t going to make people want to keep you around! No one’s gunna feel bad for him and join the Crazy Baby Eagle Face pity party.

    #2 Surprisingly I do like Kalon and Lindzi. I was definitely not a fan of Kalon after his antics on Emily’s season but he has impressed me on Bachelor Pad. He has admitted to lying a lot on the show, but in all honesty, I dont believe anyone’s gunna come out a winner without telling any lies. It’s the name of the game.

    #3 The moment Blakely and Tony had on their date was cute. Definitely started off a little awkward but after Blakely confessed that she’s scared of getting hurt again I think it definitely explained some of the awkwardness prior. I think that Tony and Blakely are a strong team and have a good shot at winning this, especially with Michael gone and the tension between Ed and Jaclyn.

    #4 Ed’s comment DID shock me. After him and Jaclyn have been spending so much time together in the house, hooking up and being obviously flirtacious, AND sleeping in the same bed every night. The look on Jaclyn’s face was heartbreaking..it was clear that she was totally taken aback by his comment and wasn’t sure how to react at all. This mishap definitely caused a lot of tension between two of the strongest Bachelor Pad contestants and I’m curious to see whether or not this will carry onto next week. If so, Ed and Jaclyn have a rocky road ahead of them!

    #5 Michael’s strategy to try and vote Erica off was a big one for sure! I understand that they have been friends but Erica was not in Michael’s alliance, so personally I think it made sense to vote her off. Especially considering that the plan was for her to take Chris with her (who everyone in the house wanted gone). This did make a lot of sense. Erica’s reaction to finding out that she may be going home was a little over the top for me. Of course no one wants to go home, but claiming that you will “take the whole Bachelor Pad house down with you”…take it easy woman! It’s a game, someone has to get voted off every week and Erica Rose was not only a weak contestant but a very easy target. As for Chris’ decision to take Erica Rose into the voting room with him…very wise CBEF. I have to say that this was a good play made by Chris and if it wasn’t for that decision he probably would’ve been going home right along side Erica. So he definitely saved his own ass.

    After Erica threw the “Holly & Blake” comments in Michael’s face it really increased my disliking of her and my heart just broke for Michael. I’m not sure what compelled Erica to make such harsh comments, regardless of the bullets she threw at Michael she was still going home. Nothing was going to change that. She could have left with a little bit of respect and understood that this is all just a game. But by saying those things I think she definitely tarnished her name and made people dislike her, for some even more than they already did. I have always been a huge fan of Michael Stag and I wish he would have gotten further in the show. It’s gunna be a tough pill to swallow not having him on next week’s episode. But I have no doubt that Chris Harrison will be throwing some more interest things our way. I look forward to it!

    Comment by Sydney — August 21, 2012 @ 12:08 pm

  13. HAHAHA Ashley! So funny again!! The picture of the hawk “What’s Chris doing here?” had me busting outloud with laughter. And seriously look at that hawk! It really DOES look like CBEF! HAHAHAHA! CBEF / CBHF is such a pouty baby throwing fits. So immature.

    I too felt so bad for Jaclyn. She looked truly hurt and embarrassed.

    And… I too actually like Kalon/Linzi. Kalon’s ITM in the first part about lying and it surprising anyone cracked me up… I actually started liking his sarcasm in that very moment!

    Too many other comments to make in regards to your blog… TOOOOOOO funny! Glad you got it up so quickly this week!

    Comment by KeriL — August 21, 2012 @ 12:15 pm

  14. It’s sad to say, but the reason Jaclyn gets “scr*wed over” so much is that a.) she gives it up too easily; b.) she is homely. She should get plastic surgery just to polish her image, especially if she wants to find love on TV.

    Ed did use her, but she put herself in a position to be used.

    Chris should not have messed with the rules. Why mix things up to keep the character everyone wants voted off? How arbitrary and smacks of “fixing” a game show.

    Weird show, gross people.

    Comment by Poof — August 21, 2012 @ 12:26 pm

  15. I actually like Lindzi and Kalon. I was surprised too that I found myself “Aww”-ing when he said: “I can’t get enough of you”. I kinda still think that BLONY are a little awkward…but oh well..
    What Erica said was beyond childish. Honestly I really thought she was entertaining and nice but for the love of God what she said was BAD and hurtful. And it makes me sad to see on Twitter that apparently they haven’t talked since…We all “know” Michael and he’s said a lot that it wasn’t anything personal.
    I LOVED this episode, I really think this season on BPad is the most entertaining so far.

    Comment by Bee — August 21, 2012 @ 1:26 pm

  16. Lawlz at the picture of Chris, I mean, the hawk.

    Comment by Mayra M. — August 21, 2012 @ 1:32 pm

  17. I think it was completely fair that Micheal was voted out. He came here for love and he seems to have found it. Plus he has already won money before. It is a bit unfair with someone knowing the game from the inside that well being there again. And Erica is just fun to watch.
    Have to give it to Chris, he totally saved his ass well this time. I don’t know if it was his own strategy, but that was good played. However, in my mind he won’t ever win. He has gotten too many people to dislike him and he has temper and immatureness.
    I found it funny how Chris interrupted Tony before he was about to hand out a rose the same way he did Emily.

    Love your caps like always.

    Comment by SJ — August 21, 2012 @ 1:53 pm

  18. So sad to see women on this show wanting to hook up with those men on tv, they come across as needy and insecure.
    I haven’t heard about next episode, but if I was Jaclyn I wouldn’t trust Ed now when it comes to love/relationship regardless. Ed cheated on Jillian I’ve heard, he likes somone at home that he is apparently persuing, yet wants to go to to a house full of slutty women for some money/fame. I think he is exactly like Chris, except that he has a WAYYY higher social intelligence, because he comes across as the nicest, most loyal guy ever on tv….um, did I say tv, I meant Bachelor Pad.

    Comment by SJ — August 21, 2012 @ 2:01 pm

  19. “I’m so glad you don’t have kids” Kalon says to Lindzi. “The most disgusting hot tub in reality TV history.” Hahahahaha!

    I noticed the lack of eye contact with Michael during the romantic scenario. And I just read from RS (last page, at the very end) that Michael had a girlfriend back home, was with Rachel for 5 weeks, and then after he got booted he flew home and went right back to the girlfriend. What the F??? Is this true???

    Comment by Cassandra — August 21, 2012 @ 2:43 pm

  20. I had to contain my self form yelling at the screen when Micheal’s plan was spoiled. Erica Rose was HORRIBLE in saying what she did.. it had nothing to do with her.. it was all about getting mcdouchenugget Chris out of the house. She is such a hypocrite. She started her speech by saying everyone lies and manipulates..and she understands because she does too but then says Micheal should go home for lying to her and manipulating people. WTF?

    I hope by the end of this season someone punched Chris in the face and he leaves with herpes.

    the end.

    Comment by Ashley — August 21, 2012 @ 2:52 pm

  21. I can’t believe we have to watch Chris pout for another week. Blah blah, sulk, pout, “I’m a grown-ass man”, pout, blah.

    Comment by Olive — August 21, 2012 @ 3:09 pm

  22. Jacklyn has told us what a smart girl she is. If she is so smart why did she get involved with Ed who admits he is a cheater and more than likely a drunk? I felt so sorry for Jillian when they split but now I just feel relief for her.

    Ashley, on another note, can you tell us any info when your BFF (Ashley Hebert) will tie the knot with JP? I’m so hoping it will be televised.

    Comment by Bobbie — August 21, 2012 @ 5:54 pm

  23. Love the blog Ash!!!

    1. Chris is a major D-B. No amount of image rehabbing he will try to pull at the reunion will work.
    2. Blakeley is a great player and I think people are giving her a hard time. Tony will be good for her.
    3. Kalon/Lindzi relationship is about as real as her horrible fake tan she wore on Ben’s season.
    4. Kalon face is oh so shiny / plastic-surgery it is unreal.
    5. Michael played with fire, ie my girl Erica Rose, and got burned… karma’s a bitch

    Comment by Claire — August 21, 2012 @ 6:00 pm

  24. Ashley, you are so deliciously funny. Love reading your blogs. Regarding Chris’ “You said it right to my eyes” is an exact translation from Polish, “Powiedz mi to prosto w oczy.” It is a very common phrase,used daily in any emotional confrontation. My guess is Chris heard it from his Mom (who-by the way- on the Bachelorette’s home visit hugged him saying in Polish “I love you with all my heart”). I do not know if Chris speaks the language, but his ties with mom are strong so it could be an emotional DNA

    Comment by Malgorzata — August 21, 2012 @ 6:05 pm

  25. That Chris/Bird picture made me lol so hard my side hurt. TWINSIES!!! Except I wonder if that’s a grown ass bird or baby bird. So many questions. I loved this blog so much, as always, but THAT picture literally made my day extra super awesome. I might have to instagram it for safe keeping. Lol thanks Ashley!!! You’re really entertaining and good at this whole blogging thing. Keep it up!!

    Comment by Beth — August 21, 2012 @ 6:38 pm

  26. Not surprised at the previews for next week when Ed says he is pursuing someone else. That is sort of what got him in trouble with Jillian!! TBQH, I think Ed and Jaclyn are a weird couple. Not seeing life long love.

    Chris is making me very uncomfortable. I’m thinking he is going home next week.

    I thought the Wes song thing was completely ridiculous. First of all, that entire thing seemed completely staged. They probably weren’t even listening to that song because it was overdubbed. I was so irritated with the show at that point. lol However, all that changed once Chris threw the twist in.

    The rest of the season should be pretty interesting. I’m really not favoring any couple over another. They all sort of have things that irritate me about them.

    Kalindzi -Kalon. I think hes a big fake fake and Lindzi deserves better
    Tony and Blakely-Eh, just not impressed with them. Blakely scares me tbqh.
    Rachel and Nick-NICK NEVER TALKS. Come on. Give the guy some air time
    Chris and Sarah-Chris. Nuff said. He is NOT doing Chicago proud.

    Who else? Is that it? I don’t even know who else is on this show anymore lol

    Comment by Dana — August 21, 2012 @ 6:49 pm

  27. I laugh all the time at your blogs!!! I was in tears at the caption of the hawk asking what Chris was doing there…gotta say, kinda looked like him! I look forward to next week…also, one of my favorite authors is Sarah Addison Allen…she is from North Carolina as well…If you haven’t read her books, you should!

    Comment by amber — August 21, 2012 @ 7:02 pm

  28. I don’t quite get why Rachel told Erica that they didn’t lie to her at the end. Their whole plan involved lying to Erica! The brief moment of trying to save face at the end did not endear me to Michael, but of course I did not think it was necessary for Erica to take things that low.

    This game revolves around lying, but in the past people have always stuck with their friends/partners. So I think this was pretty low for Michael, because he was trying to save himself by sending Erica home.

    I definitely LOL’d when Ed said that he “obeys” Jaclyn. Along with Tony being “domesticated” I think it’s safe to say the women wear the pants in those partnerships.

    Comment by Anna — August 21, 2012 @ 11:40 pm

  29. I’m just gonna say one thing… My favorite part of the blog… Reading your reference to Blakely and Tony as Blony!!! AWESOMESAUCE!!!

    Comment by Esther — August 21, 2012 @ 11:41 pm

  30. Anna – if you read Michael’s blog, he and Rachel did not vote for Erica, so they did not have to lie to her if she asked. Also, Erica was not in Michael’s alliance that is why she was getting voted out.

    Lies to send people home are necessary, lies that Chris makes to insult someone or lead them on romantically are not necessary.

    Comment by tj — August 22, 2012 @ 3:57 am

  31. “Except I wonder if that’s a grown ass bird or a baby bird.” – Beth, your comment had me busting out laughing, good one, lol! Twinsies for sure! I die laughing every time I see Ashley’s blog where it refers to Chris as Crazy Baby Eagle Face because I definitely see the resemblance. Except those birds are much classier than Chris; he makes me sick!

    Great blog as always, Ashley! I was in tears from laughing. Love it :)

    Comment by Amanda — August 22, 2012 @ 7:43 am

  32. This is the best blog and episode so far, that photo of the hawk….gold! quality call!

    Comment by Brooke — August 22, 2012 @ 9:33 am

  33. Fantastic Blog Ashley!! I loved your pictures!! Funniest I’ve read!

    Comment by Tia — August 22, 2012 @ 3:13 pm

  34. I wish you did video blogs for these Ashley!

    Comment by Katie — August 22, 2012 @ 6:19 pm

  35. Yup, it’s painfully obvious Michael does not have the same feelings for Rachel. He seemed quite fake on the show 0 I think he may know what an online fan base he has (and how much they WANTED he and Rachel together) so he played it up hardcore.

    Comment by Robyn — August 23, 2012 @ 8:47 am

  36. I don’t even watch, just come to read your blogs! From what I can gather, I find it interesting that Chris is so mad at these guys for “lying” to him (basically not doing what he wants them to do), when he’s probably the worst liar on there for sleeping with so many women and leading them on/using them. Which is worse Chris, which is worse? I guess according to him, you can use a woman like an object by sleeping with her to win a game, but you can’t say you can’t lie to him to win the game.

    Comment by Beth — August 24, 2012 @ 12:46 am

  37. Shouldn’t be allowed 2 take another in voting room with you,it ruins the show. If all contestants did this good bye bachelor pad – mystery & game strategy gone. Why watch program

    Comment by TMC — August 24, 2012 @ 11:02 am

  38. 1) Didn’t Chris go psycho on the Bachelorette over the whole maturity issue? Then he picked another fight with the dad guy and I think said, “I’m a grown-assed man!” Someone must have told him all his life to stop acting immature, because it’s obviously a trigger. Emily’s beautiful jaw must be hitting the floor every week she watches this show. To think that I’m a Grown Assed Man made it to the hometown dates.

    2) The Kalon/Lindzi thing is cute. I have no idea if it’s real because Kalon seems more image-oriented than the others. He does, however, have THE BEST one-liners. He’s clever and hilarious but watch out for the spelling bee next week, because I read his memoir and he can’t spell for sh*t.

    3) Wow. Blakely and Tony. I think Dave Good says it best in his blog – opposites attract, and maybe poor Tony doesn’t mind being bossed around like a little kid. Who knows, if Tony continues to unconditionally worship Blakely, she may “open her heart up” along this “amazing journey together” and soften up. Dude better get her a real big ring though.

    4) Props to Ed for telling the truth, but he could have been more sensitive and just gone with “I have the most awesome partner ever and hope to know her forever.” Men.

    5) Erica sucks for hitting that low below the belt. I can understand why she would feel betrayed, but she made a complete fool of herself on national TV, as usual.

    Comment by Dave's Stalker — August 24, 2012 @ 3:26 pm

  39. Ed could have been gentler in his response–what he said would have been embarrassing even if Jaclyn wasn’t interested in him. I mean, everyone in the house (and all of us watching) know you’re sleeping together. You don’t have to pretend you like someone, but you might show them a little respect–especially if they hadn’t discussed where things were headed.

    I’m not seeing any sparks between Michael and Rachel. Maybe I’m being influenced by the rumor that he had a girlfriend at home, who he went back to after the show, but I don’t see any real connection there.

    Comment by Meghan — August 25, 2012 @ 3:15 pm

  40. Chris annoys me I think more than anyone in all of bachelor history which is a WHOLE LOT :)

    I surprisingly really like Kalon and Lindzi together, I think she brings out the best in him and God knows he needs that!

    The whole Erica thing, I understand that her and Michael were friends but seriously she NEVER tries at all on any of the challenges! You can’t expect your friends to keep saving you if you are not willing to try and save yourself! I understand her taking Michael with her but in my opinion she had no right to be mad at him, she knows how this game works everyone has to lie at some point and come on he had already saved her twice! The fact that she took such low blows at him proved to me that she was never a real friend to him, you just don’t hit somebody you care about where it hurts like that! She’s a sore loser and didn’t deserve to be there as long as she was!

    BTW Love your blogs, so entertaining and funny :)

    Comment by Lindsey — August 28, 2012 @ 9:59 am

  41. KeriL-THANK YOU for saying out loud what I have been thinking for months(Jaclyn IS quite “homely”) I have to wonder-who is she related to, to get cast on this show full of extremely good-looking people? This is so mean I can’t believe I’m saying it,but every time the camera pans away from any of the other beautiful faces and lands on hers, I emit an involuntary “EEK!”. How did it happen, that she landed on this show WITHOUT the producers making her get some “work” done first? I’m just wondering if I am the cruelest,most shallow person ever, or does anyone else feel this way? Jaclyn probably is a very smart, talented person, but PLEASE,girl, do yourself a favor and get that nose(among other things) taken care of! Ashley, you are hilarious, so glad I found your blog, please keep it coming!

    Comment by LoloB — September 4, 2012 @ 10:45 pm

  42. oops, guess I’m agreeing with Poof, not KeriL, in my feelings regarding Jaclyn and her aesthetically-challenged face. Poor girl!

    Comment by LoloB — September 4, 2012 @ 10:52 pm

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