ASHLEY SPIVEY’S BACHELORETTE BLOG: EPISODE 5

Well y’all, we are almost halfway through Emily’s journey but it’s pretty evident that there are only 3 main guys that are vying for her love.  Arie, Sean, and Jef continue to pretty much dominate the screen time along with Emily – while the other guys either continually fade into the background (Travis and Wolfie) or flipflop between us liking/disliking them (Ryan and Doug).

Sean and Jef really stepped it up this week and I have to admit that while I’m still Team Arie, the other two might be better fits for Emily.  In my opinion; Sean is the pick her head would make, Jef is the pick her heart would make, and Arie is the pick her body would make.  Anyone of these 3 could be the final one standing but Emily has to decide what is best for her.  Will she follow her head, heart, or body?

But enough with the predictions, let’s discuss the episode!

 

 

Chris Harrison arrives in his manscarf (which he wears properly by the way and I have no issues with it) to tell everyone that they are in London (duh) and describe the dates that week.

 

 

Sean gets the one-on-one and is this dude ever not happy?  He is always cheesing’!  However, I am happy that someone finally shows some genuine happiness about getting a date with Emily.  Most guys try to play it cool but Sean can’t contain his smile.  I’m not really attracted to blondes but Sean is kinda doing it for me.

 

 

Omg. I just can’t with the black v-necks anymore!  I was liking you so much Sean!

 

 

Whew, that was a close one.

 

 

Emily and Sean sightsee around London, hitting all the major tourist attractions and looking like the most all-American couple ever.  Then they go to take this picture to reenact the William and Kate kiss and I gasp when I see the results!  A ghost is telling us that Emily and Sean will never end up together by putting a light line in-between their kiss!  Screw spoiler sites – this is some supernatural prediction stuff!  Seriously, if they don’t end up together, I’m totally going to send this picture into Ghost Hunters and see if they can confirm my readings on this picture. (I’m only halfway serious btw.)

 

 

Kalon makes a pretty insensitive comment about how every date with Emily will be a group date because she has a kid.  This is also, allegedly, the point at which he makes a comment about Ricki being baggage.  Wow, I knew Kalon sucked but dear Lord, he really must have the heart and soul of a demon.  I get it, he never imagined his first kid not being his own, but if that is true – WHY THE HELL DID HE GO ON THE SHOW TO POSSIBLY MARRY EMILY WHO HAS A KID???  Oh yeah, to be famous.  Good luck with that douchebag, we’ll talk about your acting skills a little bit later.

 

 

Jef seems pretty appalled by Kalon’s behavior but instead of stooping to his level – he shows and tells Kalon how a real man should act.

 

 

How awesome would it be if Jef just stood up and socked him right in the chin???

 

 

Do y’all ever notice how it seems like most of the guys just ignore Kalon?  He’s always sitting there, and he makes little comments, but no one takes him seriously.  I’m guessing maybe this is why most of the guys never told her about his condescending comments?

 

 

I’m guessing that Emily has dated a lot of attractive people that were either horrible to her or really boring because she’s always expecting the guys to drop a bomb on her.  Luckily for her, Sean seems to be a “you get what you see” type of guy.  His outward appearance seems to match how sweet and genuine he is on the inside!

 

 

Emily and Sean arrive at another famous corner of London where you can make public speeches in the park and a dude wearing another manscarf, talks Sean into making a speech.

 

 

Emily looks mortified or like she wishes she had a blanket so she could pull it over her head – I do this a lot when I’m watching a movie or a show and I’m really embarrassed for the character.  I got a little worried that Sean’s speech was going to be really cheesy and embarrassing!

 

 

Luckily, Sean gives a swoon-worthy speech in which he talks about how he has been in the presence of great love and he could possibly have that with Emily.  He is adorable.

 

 

Back at the house, Doug is wearing the only shirt he owns apparently, when the guys get the group date card.

 

 

Alejandro, whom I know nothing about except that he is a mushroom farmer, identifies the note on the card as a Shakespeare quote.  I get really excited at this point because nothing could clash harder than the world’s pre-eminent dramatist and bunch of reality show dudes.  The results can only be hilarious!

 

 

Kalon is super pissed because he was really expecting to go on the other 1-on-1 but that will now be impossible because he’s on the group date.  I don’t know why he was so sure about the 1-on-1, he insulted Emily during their last conversation and he’s been pretty sour grapes up until this point.

 

 

I just wanted to include this picture because he has a double chin and I know he would be super pissed to be shown in such an unflattering light.  Suck it TMDN!

 

 

Dinner between Emily and Sean is going just fine.  He hasn’t done anything stupid yet like ask for a kiss like he always does.

 

 

Emily informs him that she wants a lot of kids, I guess to scare him away, but he welcomes the idea and further reinforces that he might just be the perfect guy for her.

 

 

But then they kiss and this is where I’m starting to get confused.  On paper, Sean is everything Emily is asking for.  He is attractive, he is religious, he is a man, he wants a family, and he will always have her back – So why does she keep on giving him the type of kisses that Ben gave Kacie B.? (Thanks Heather ;) ) While they are getting a little better, these kisses can’t even compare in passion with the kisses reserved for Arie.

 

 

Speaking of Arie, we have found his weak spot.  Dude is terrified to act in front of an audience.  This is a little weird to me since he is an athlete and because he is on a reality show.  Whatevs, he’s still cute with a red face.

 

 

I think Travis made the best out of the situation and he really was hilarious during the entire date!  He said some really funny stuff – if only Emily was attracted to him!

 

 

Doug was actually a good sport too and I actually thought he was really cute this episode!

 

 

Ryan continued to be a little slimy and his manscarf was a little too dainty in my opinion.  I like scarves on guys much better when they are worn with a winter coat.  This was a little too feminine.

 

 

Does Kalon even care anymore, he seems to just be playing the role of villain now.  Whyyyy would you tell Emily to “run along now”?  He is beyond condescending and I wish Ryan would have told him that his comment was out of line.

 

 

Emily seems to be just as over Kalon as the rest of us.

 

 

Because Arie sucks at acting, he has to play the role of a woman nurse.  Him dressing in drag should turn me off but it totally doesn’t.

 

 

You know what does turn me off? Kalon.

 

Seriously, why is he taking this play so seriously?  It’s like he wants talent agents to realize how talented he is so he can pursue acting roles outside of reality tv – Oh wait a minute….

 

 

This is seriously the most action these two have gotten and that makes me a little sad for them.

 

 

I might have an Arie addiction because he should not be attractive to me still!

 

 

Me thinks Arie is a little jealous that Ryan got to kiss Emily so much on this date.

 

 

However, those kisses totally don’t count.  She was laughing at Ryan the whole time and she kept her hands gripped tightly to her script – she couldn’t have been more uncomfortable with kissing him.

 

 

Seriously, when these two kiss, it totally gives me goosebumbs.  I bet they are both ready for the fantasy suite dates.  Can someone please write some fan-fiction for this show and have Arie and Emily as the characters?  I’d pay to read it and I bet it would be a million times better than 50 Shades of Grey! (Looking at you Jennifer Weiner.)

 

 

Ryan gets back into Emily’s good graces by giving her a turquoise necklace, which just happens to be her favorite kind of jewelry.  Good call production ;)   I can’t figure Ryan out.  I’m still not forgiving him for the Bachelor comments so I’m not going to let him redeem himself so easily.

 

 

Chris tells the guys about some douchey comments that Kalon made in regards to Ricki.  I’m guessing that this is a completely separate incident from what he said while at the table with Jef and Arie.  Regardless, I’m guessing that Kalon has made a bunch of insulting comments regarding Emily and Ricki but none of the guys have spoken up until now.  Why now?  Because Doug isn’t ok with the term baggage being used since he is a dad and would never let someone call his son that.  He tries to get Kalon to clarify or apologize but Kalon refuses.

 

 

So Doug decides to tell Emily.

 

 

And she is so mad…

 

 

Like the maddest I’ve ever seen her.

 

 

So mad, that I’m actually a little scared that she might try to slap Kalon or walk off the show.

 

 

But being the nice person that she is, she gives Kalon a chance to clarify things but he totally doesn’t.

 

 

Then he interrupts her – the exact thing that he chided her for doing a little while back and she brilliantly uses his own words against him!

 

 

Then, she can no longer keep the West Virginia, backwoods, hood rat contained – so she tells him to get the eff out and America high-fives her through the tv.

 

I really was scared that Emily would walk off at this point because the whole situation was really insulting to her.  Its one thing to go on a dating show, but a complete other to sit there and have to defend your child.

 

 

So that’s the end of Kalon and I really wish they would have sent him home in something more embarrassing than a mini-van.  I mean really – nice people on this show have gone home in dinghies and left on the side of mountains!!!  Why does Kalon get to enjoy a luxurious ride to the airport.  Make that dude hitchhike across Europe for all I care!

 

But enough about the douche – we can stop talking about him until the Men Tell All!  Let’s talk about Jef!

 

 

I know that Emily and Jef have started off a little slow – but I do like the flirty banter that is always going on between them.  Emily does have a really goofy side and I’d love to see her with someone that could bring that out more in her.

 

 

Jef is a little disappointed during the date because an etiquette teacher will be with them the whole time and that really makes this a 2-on-1 date!

 

 

Jean is totally killing the mood the entire time by constantly correcting them and by dominating the conversation with talk about scones and sandwiches.

 

 

I think they were both so terrified of Jean during this date!

 

 

Scratch that – terrified/annoyed.

 

 

Jef is so cool and calm that it really makes me laugh that Jean irritates him so much!

 

 

As soon as Jean excuses herself to go to the loo, Emily and Jef can’t take it anymore and decide to make a break for the pub where they can flirt with each other and not be so concerned about manners.

 

 

Again, this picture really has no significance but I thought it looked really weird when I freeze-framed it!  It doesn’t even look like Emily’s arm!  It looks like so random arm that was photoshopped on.  Ahhhhhh!

 

 

Jef hasn’t had as much 1-on-1 time with Emily as some of the other guys, but he really gets her devotion as a mom.  The way to Emily’s heart is by loving Ricki just as much as her and Jef understands this.  He tries to make Emily forget about the whole baggage comment by comparing Ricki to a Chloe bag and my heart just melts when he does this.

 

 

Emily was already pretty smitten with Jef but now she is totally giving him the love eyes.  I think Jef has something that Sean lacks and that thing is an edge.  I think this edge will give him the advantage over Sean.

 

 

Jef also totally overuses like but like I’ll forgive him since he like says all the right things.

 

 

SWOON.

 

 

My biggest complaint with Jef is that he needs to be a little more aggressive when it comes to showing Emily affection.  He totally blew the most romantic moment ever when they were in the Eye!

 

 

But then he finally musters up some courage to plant a pretty passionate kiss on Emily.  It’s not an Arie kiss, but it’s much more passionate than her kisses with Sean.

 

 

This next scene gives me the sadz.  Emily confronts Arie and tells him that she wishes he would have had her back a little more with the Kalon situation.  While I get that Arie didn’t want to snitch or focus on other people, I know that this will hurt Arie and he should have tried to save his @$$ a little bit more during this talk.  Arie and Emily are always touching when they are near each other and she is completely giving him tons of space during the talk – that ain’t good.

 

 

To make matters worse, Ryan is getting real kisses now!  How the heck did that happen?!?  There must be a lot that we aren’t seeing because I don’t get it!!!!

 

 

Even Emily knows that she is being dumb.

 

 

Emily and Sean get some more time together and I know that she feels really safe with Sean and I love that.  I just freaking wish that I could see some more passion in their kisses!

 

 

I was a little sad that she let Alejandro go without us really getting to know him because he had such a sweet and gracious exit.  He seems so sincere and I’m sure he’ll find a nice girl in no time!

 

 

Holy red pants Wolfie!  How did I miss these during the episode?  He is totally channelling Ames Brown and I’m loving it!

 

So what did y’all think of the show?  Are you loving Arie, Sean, or Jef?  Has your favorite changed?  Do you want to rip Kalon’s limbs off and assault him with them?  Should more people have spoken up about Kalon’s behavior?  Did y’all love feisty Emily?

 

Remember to head on over to my blog http://saynotocosmo.com for more commentary on the Bachelor/ Bachelorette world as well as my musings on relationships and why Cosmo is bad for you!

 

Also, every week I’m doing a vlog for realitynation.com called Spivey Says!  I give my thoughts immediately after every episode of the Bachelorette and answer any questions that y’all have about the show!  Head on over to Reality Nation to check it out!

115 Comments »

  1. I love Sean! I think the passion will get there. I don’t think Emily is going to be the same as Ashley and pick the passionate sexy guy (go JP!) because she has a daughter. I love how normal and sweet Sean is – I think he is so refreshing.

    Comment by Martha — June 13, 2012 @ 11:24 am

  2. Hilarious! Love your recaps! Love Jef and Arie! And I thought Emily conversation with Sean was like mommy would talk to a 6 year old son.

    Comment by Molly — June 13, 2012 @ 11:26 am

  3. Hahah, you’re hilarious! Love the captions. I’m totally rooting for Sean or Jef. I think Sean would be great for Emily and Jef seeems the most genuine to me. I’m indifferent about Arie.

    Comment by Olga — June 13, 2012 @ 11:31 am

  4. I love reading your recaps each week! They’re hilarious! Jef completely made me swoon like you said this week, I’m loving him for Emily!

    Comment by Nicole — June 13, 2012 @ 11:31 am

  5. OK – did anyone else think Arie as the nurse kind of resembled Belle from Beauty and the Beast?

    Comment by Ashley — June 13, 2012 @ 11:31 am

  6. You and Ashley Hebert will always be my favorites!!! Funniest, down to earth girls! lots of love from canada!

    Comment by Lindsey — June 13, 2012 @ 11:33 am

  7. I’m loving Arie, Arie, Arie! Sean is a sweetheart, but like you say, lacks an edge. Jef is gold, but not manly enough. Go Arie!

    Comment by Annie — June 13, 2012 @ 11:34 am

  8. Yay! My day is now complete now that you’ve posted! Whew.. I’m more addicted to your blogs than to the show. Me loves some Arie! Their kisses are as good as Ashley/JP kisses – steamy! I don’t care what the ‘player’ murmurings are about Arie, he’s yummy. And it looks to me like he really likes her. Sean is sweet but I think she’s going to quickly get bored. I see that she’s smitten by Jef, but I can’t get past the fact that he looks 14. Always. I find Doug hot – he’s my #2 choice. Ryan = gross. And I wanted to poke her in the eye when she kissed him. Feisty Emily = awesome! Her ITM’s are great – her feistiness shows the most then.

    Comment by Beth — June 13, 2012 @ 11:43 am

  9. The answer to why Ryan got real kisses at the rose ceremony, is because I think she liked his kisses at the Shakespeare thing…I think she liked them alot. That’s why when he went to give her the necklace, she said something about him being “trouble”, in a flirty way.

    I also disagree about her kisses with Sean not having passion…they don’t look the same as Arie’s (and they are not as overtly passionate as his), but the way they hold them for awhile is a different kind of sexy kiss.

    I think that Emily has seriously overblown expectations about the “honor” that she thinks men who hardly know her will feel about taking on her joined-at-the-hip daughter. Kalon’s error was in his framing Ricki as ‘baggage’, but I don’t think Emily is even up for anyone who is honest in a kind/respectful way about the difficulty that taking on Ricki will involve. And as much as she claims to want a man who will do that, her reply to Jef’s comment about having a hair-brush singing party while she was out, seemed instead to show that she is quite insecure about the possibility of someone else having a place in Ricki’s life.

    And to me, that hairbrush/singing/party comment of Jef’s, along with a few others of his, shows that the main thing he envisions with Ricki is ‘play’, rather than the true hard/daily work of parenting. This just reinforces how young he seems. From the start, everytime I’ve seen them together, it looks like a mom talking to her teenage son’s friend…kind of creepy. Actually, in the picture you have where she is with Sean (with the caption about ‘Good guys rarely look like you’), she looks to me like she is about 42 years old. When I saw that scene on the show, even my husband agreed that she looks 10 years older than she is.

    Loved your ‘Photoshopped’ picture caption…keep throwing in silly stuff like that!

    Arie wearing the wig made his face look just like John Travolta.

    Comment by Jennifer — June 13, 2012 @ 11:44 am

  10. Team Jef all the way! I really think it’s going to be him in the end after this past week’s edit. I think Arie will come in third with Jef proposing at the final rose ceremony and Sean ending up as the Bachelor (if Roberto doesn’t, that is). She seems to like the fact that it hasn’t been as easy with Jef. To me, it seems a lot more like a real life relationship in its pacing. I’m glad he waited to kiss her on a 1-on-1, rather than on the beach where any of the other guys could have walked up.

    Comment by Erin — June 13, 2012 @ 11:44 am

  11. Ryan is my favorite and I’m glad Emily is still keeping him around. Arie looks slick, Sean smiles to much, Doug is crazy, Chris is okay, Jef is cute but seems a little juvenile. Travis and “Wolfe” need to go home, they are just pity dates. Team Ryan all the way:-)

    Comment by Leslye Sanders — June 13, 2012 @ 11:58 am

  12. Love you blog as ALWAYS! I am rooting for Sean! His mannerisms remind me of another “Tim Tebow type guy!!”

    Comment by Dana Doster — June 13, 2012 @ 12:01 pm

  13. Thank goodness your blog is up. This is what I look forward to after the show. You make me laugh so hard! Your blog is hands down the best out there.

    I really can’t understand though why Arie is liked so much. I don’t think he is that cute. I would prefer Sean anytime over Arie in the looks department. I see the passionate kisses Arie and Emmily have but passionate kisses alone are not enough for a long term relationship. I don’t see much depth to their thing going on but physical attraction/passion and that is definitely not enough for a marriage. My favorite are Sean and Jef but after this episode I think she will pick Jef. He does seem young but she sees him with this sparkle in her eye.

    Looking forward to your blog next week =)

    BTW – I haven’t been able to view your saynotocosmo.com page It continues to tell me it cannot load. Having problems with it?

    Comment by Sirena — June 13, 2012 @ 12:02 pm

  14. FINALLY! I was beginning to think I had to come to NY, hunt you down and get this blog posted. Seriously, I am addicted to it. I LOVE Jef and hope he gets down on that knee and is engaged to Emily. I like Arie and Sean but not like I love Jef!!! JEM all the way :)

    Comment by Lydia S — June 13, 2012 @ 12:03 pm

  15. I just love you Ashley!!!! Enough said.

    Comment by Tracey — June 13, 2012 @ 12:05 pm

  16. Krisily Kennedy is a she man. DAW. Calls herself a host? Give me a break. They are hiring at Taco Bell tard, go for it. Can’t get a man so has to resort to women. PIG

    Comment by Can I take your order? — June 13, 2012 @ 12:06 pm

  17. Oh wait, I forgot to say the picture with Jef saying “This fancy b*tch is ruining my date.” and “B*tch, you crazy!” totally cracked me up. I also noticed that line in the picture between Emily and Sean and it freaked me out when I was watching the show!

    Comment by Tracey — June 13, 2012 @ 12:09 pm

  18. Totally agree with everything you said!!!

    Comment by Kelly — June 13, 2012 @ 12:17 pm

  19. i love Jef. So much.
    Arie creeps me out. I don’t think he is that cute…and i don’t know, i still feel there is something sketchy with him. I can’t put my finger on it, but i don’t trust him.

    Comment by kendra — June 13, 2012 @ 12:26 pm

  20. I really like Jef. I think it is all the make-up, and older looking outfits that make her look so much older then him. i am guessing in no make-up, and jeans/t-shirt that they would look compatible.

    Comment by suzi Q — June 13, 2012 @ 12:26 pm

  21. As always, you made me laugh. Any way you can do MTA with Chris? Would love to see you grill the guys. Especially Kalon.

    Comment by Jackie — June 13, 2012 @ 12:28 pm

  22. Ashley, you are hilarious! I always look forward to reading your blog and cracking up at work while reading it. Personally I am a huge Jef fan. I think their relationship is more what you would seen in real life. Aside I think he is a genuinely nice guy and is not there to try and “win” a prize. I think he is taking it slowly because he wants to make sure he is into her as well, which I think he is now. He just was not going to put on a fake show. Sean seems like a nice guy. He looks related to her though, and he just seems boring. I am sure they would make a great couple and then he could ramble on about how he “learned for his Dad and Grandfather.” It would just be a cookie cutter relationship. I think Jef has more depth and also a little spark that Emily needs. I think he can be serious and fun. Sometimes I forget she is only 26, and I think Jef brings out more of her youth which I think she needs from time to time. Cannot wait for your next blog!

    Comment by Emily — June 13, 2012 @ 12:30 pm

  23. Another fantastic Ashley Blog!!! They are the BEST!

    K, I am not a mother, and I am not saying one way or the other if Emily over reacted to the comments made about Rickie being baggage – wait no, I will, she didn’t overreact to Kalon.. he deserved worse than she gave. I do think she overreacted to the rest of them, including Arie (especially Arie because I loves him!). I mean, the group of guys on the group date confronted him about the baggage comment – which I don’t think he’d said specifically when Jef and Arie were talking to him, and as soon as they heard him say it, Doug went and told her. Ummm… that was pretty quick in my opinion to let her know what’s up! If Doug hadn’t, someone would have told her before that date was over!

    My final three are Arie (based on the preview, pinned against the wall kissing…omg hot), Jef because she relaxes and carries on with him, and Sean because well… Sean is perfect.

    Love your blog Ashley!!! :)

    Comment by Jenn — June 13, 2012 @ 12:31 pm

  24. Totally agree you: Her head is saying that Sean is the most best choice for her and Ricki but she is more naturally attracted to Jef. I love Sean but I don’t think he is the right guy for her

    Comment by Brooke — June 13, 2012 @ 12:33 pm

  25. I hate to say this but it’s really hard for me to get into this season for some reason. But anyway…I just adore Arie, he is sooo good looking and he has a sweet personality too. My top 2 picks are Arie and Jef.
    I’m so glad that Kalon is gone..he was not there for the right reasons.
    After watching the previews of what’s coming up…it does look like it will get a lot better. I think it’s because it’s taking some of the guys a long time to warm up to Emily for some reason.
    Love your blog Ashley…thanks.

    Comment by annie — June 13, 2012 @ 12:38 pm

  26. I also am suffering from an Arie addiction. The other guys don’t really do it for me. Sean seems more like the All-American, quarterback of the football team type, which doesn’t rev my engines at all. And Jef, however sweet, seems very boyish–fun to hang around with, but not romantic lead material. Arie has got this cool, self-assured confidence, and is always so attentive with Emily. Totally SWOON!

    Comment by Deb — June 13, 2012 @ 12:42 pm

  27. I get a little teary-eyed everytime I see Jef and Emily together, obvious they are falling in love, REAL love, not b/s scripted stuff like the others. I had the same reaction watching JP and Ashley. You can just see it in their eyes. I really, really, really, hope Jef and Emily are engaged and happy. He’s the best choice for Em and her daughter. Dude spins pillows, does dance party, rides skateboards, and much more, he is the one, he fits everything Emily wants. love them together. And Jef is a total hottie, clean cut, dresses well, speaks perfectly, total package. He is husband material, imo Arie and Sean are b/f material and Em’s not looking for a b/f, but a husband.

    Comment by Patrice — June 13, 2012 @ 12:44 pm

  28. Love your recaps more than the show. I think that Sean is perfect for her but he may have not given the correct answer when she asked how many kids he wants. Can you imagine if Brad asked you girls about kids on your first date? She is in a different place than most of these guys. Jef seems way too young and Arie seems like too much of a player. Ryan comes off like a used car salesman.
    I think she needs an older guy who is ready to have a kid pronto. They should have cast guys in the 32-38 year range for daddy duty.

    Comment by Suzanne — June 13, 2012 @ 12:45 pm

  29. You are SO right on with the head, heart, body thing! It’ll be fun to watch her figure this out, and hopefully by the end finds one of them to attract all three parts!
    Seriously Ashley, I have checked this dang page about a million times the past two days waiting for your blog! I want more pictures though!! Sorry, I know you have a life outside of this, but they are so dang good! I would have loved a freeze-frame of Jef’s reaction after his kiss with Emily–it sold me on him right then and there. He always seems so calm and collected, and she totally got under his skin with that WOW! kiss, he was grinning like a school boy, almost a bit in disbelief. I think that anticipated kiss was one of the cutest moments in bachlorette history :)

    Sean impressed me with his ability to make such a mature speech, and look so good and confident doing it. His confidence and modesty makes him hot (cause I dont’ really go for blond guys either!). And it’s cute that she said that Sean gives her butterflies in her heart–awwww! (though I wonder if she was a bit tipsy saying this?? ;)

    I have never seen her grin SO BIG as she did talking about her date with Jef after the fact. She is so into him that I think I am into him too. I think she will pick him in the end, which might be selfish of me to wish because then she would move out here to Utah! yay~! :) Jef is an upstanding guy and one of the ways men quickly connect with kids is to play with them. He has that down pat, and his ability to run a company shows he has the leadership to also discipline.

    I also love that she is attracted to someone besides the big muscle, jock guys (that I think we all assumed she would be most attracted to, because of her own looks). Jef is the shortest and scrawniest guy there, with the big poofy hair, and she is mkaing the biggest googly eyes at him!

    And Arie–I didn’t like him at first, but he has really grown on me. He isn’t really my type of attractive, but his fun personality is just cracking me up. He seems like the fun guy to hang out with, and he is always making her laugh. I think he is shooting himself in the foot though, jumping so quickly into the make-out sessions with her. If he would hold back a bit, I think he would be able to set the same kind of solid foundation down that Jef and sean are managing to build. I see Arie being broken hearted in the end, realizing too late that he went too fast and came up short compared to the other guys. And yes–he did look like Belle from Beauty and the Beast! Oh man, he made me laugh so much this episode.

    Comment by Betania — June 13, 2012 @ 12:50 pm

  30. You are so funny! I just crack up every time that I read your blog! You need to write a book!!!!

    Comment by Barbara — June 13, 2012 @ 12:54 pm

  31. Um…and if Arie doesn’t make it, I hope he’s on BP3! He’s just too adorable, funny, and likeable to not see on TV again! Arie for BP3! Arie for BP3!

    Comment by Betania — June 13, 2012 @ 12:55 pm

  32. I agree with Kelly…i love one-F-Jef and Arie creeps me out a little. He is not cute, and I feel like there is something sketchy about him, though I can’t quite pinpoint what makes him sketch. Go Jef! I liked fiesty Emily, but I don’t think she should have confronted him in front of everyone. She should have handled it with “grace” (like she said) by talking to him one-on-one, then explaining to the guys how she handled it. She seems to be encouraging tattle-tailing from the gents, and I don’t like that!

    Comment by Joey — June 13, 2012 @ 1:06 pm

  33. After comparing their one on one dates, I don’t see any heat with Sean. Jef seems into her but I’m not feeling it from her. She can’t keep her hands off of Arie.

    Comment by cinde — June 13, 2012 @ 1:10 pm

  34. Okay, I can’t ever remember that TMDN means Tool McDouche Nugget… so every time that appears I just read it as Teenage Mutant Ninja Douche… hope that’s cool :-)

    Comment by Claire — June 13, 2012 @ 1:13 pm

  35. If there was ever a sign, it was that light line that perfectly divided them in half. Did you notice that they were at an angle and that line split them perfectly at that angle in half? Holy freaky deaky. I think Jef has her heart and deservedly so. He’s real and I like him most on this season, even more than Emily. He’s the one I root for the most and love the deleted scenes w/ him teaching the guys really fun stuff to do that would be a child’s dream come true – spinning pillows, playing croquet, totem pole jumping. Was he involved in the limbo contest? He seems like he would be great fun to be around with and a good hearted person – what more can you want in a husband?

    Comment by TeamJef — June 13, 2012 @ 1:14 pm

  36. I love Sean. I don’t think the Doug got enough credit for actually telling her about Kalon, I really like Doug. I think he is the most mature for her and obviously knows what it is like to have a kid! I read some shady stuff about Arie accidently and it’s making me not like him as much. I don’t think their relationships should be based on how passionate their kisses are. Some relationship that move slowly are the longest lasting relationships I know of. The thing about Emily I that she isn’t just finding someone that she falls in love with, she’s finding someone that she knows will make a great father to her adorable daughter.

    Comment by Autumn — June 13, 2012 @ 1:16 pm

  37. @ Joey — June 13, 2012 @ 1:06 pm

    Your getting the creepy vibes from him b/c he is creepy. Arie slept b/c his friend’s GF while sleeping w/ several other women at the same time and was texting one of them during this show. He’s a player who his friends predicted would win Emily’s heart b/c he knows “exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to say it.” Those make the best players b/c they know how to fake sincerity, but perceptive people who’ve seen that kind of smooth charm before that mask a player can spot it.

    Comment by TeamJef — June 13, 2012 @ 1:18 pm

  38. FINALLY!!!

    Your blog is better than the show!

    Comment by Lauriel — June 13, 2012 @ 1:25 pm

  39. I am soo in love with ARIE!!!

    Comment by Cassie — June 13, 2012 @ 1:31 pm

  40. Love Arie and Jef- I was glad to see a recap that recognized how adorable and sweet Jef is (hair and all). Arie and Jef are both cute and goofy and she seems physically attracted to them both. I don’t know who I’d pick if I had to choose between them- lucky Emily to have such a dilemma!

    Sean seems uber boring. I would be surprised if they ended up together. He’s the dude that you want to like- because he has all of these wonderful qualities- but you just can’t get excited about. I think it just has to do with chemistry- you either have it or you don’t, and I don’t think they have it.

    Comment by Julie — June 13, 2012 @ 1:39 pm

  41. Emily is too uptight. There is a reason no guys have stuck by her side for a long time. A good relationship requires Emily being more than just a good mom. And good lord, it has to be a give and take kind of deal, not the “it s all about me me ME”. Emily needs to take lessons how to give and to love from Ashley Hebert. Abc painted this perfect portrait of her and sold it to America, and we just eat it up. It will be hard for any guy that ends up with her. If it does not work out once again, the guy should be prepared to take the blame because Emily is thought to be so perfect. That is a lot of pressure.
    Oh, Bentley might just have been a reality tv character, but I got the feeling that Arie is a real life Bentley. He is really enjoying his journey too much. Do you see his twitter bio ‘s ‘seen making out on ABC’. It is a sign he did not ‘win’. Good for Emily. He probably just has a good sense of humor, but it gives off “‘player” vibe. Not cool to display that on twitter when the show is airing and he is considered a strong contender at this point.

    Comment by Confused — June 13, 2012 @ 1:50 pm

  42. Normally I agree completely with your logic…. but this time I think you’re a little off. The Jef kiss was WAY hotter than the Arie kisses. Did you see the way that she nearly tackled him. I thought it was very enduring that Jef seemed so nervous about kissing her and finally she just had to say enough, grab him and make it happen.

    Comment by Cindy — June 13, 2012 @ 1:57 pm

  43. “Because Arie sucks at acting, he has to play the role of a woman nurse. Him dressing in drag should turn me off but it totally doesn’t.” Hahaha!!

    Love love love your blog. Freaking hilarious, every bit of it!

    Comment by Ryvetted — June 13, 2012 @ 2:51 pm

  44. I can’t decide between Jef and Arie. First, it was Arie- hands down, but Jef keeps growing on me. Sean is gorgeous, but somewhat boring.

    Comment by Abbey — June 13, 2012 @ 2:52 pm

  45. Am I the only one who doesn’t feel Jef? I don’t know. He seems like a nice guy and all, but he just seems immature to me. I can’t picture him as a dad.

    I still love Arie because he always reassures her and makes sure she is doing ok each step of the way. She seems to have more real talks with him. Sean is a dark horse for me – I’m interested to see their relationship progress.

    Comment by Marilee — June 13, 2012 @ 3:05 pm

  46. It was your blog on the 99 Cosmo things or what not that you kept referencing 50 Shades of Grey. Thank you! The trilogy is amazing and it has become a sensational hit amongst my circle since I put it out there. I don’t know of anything that can come close to topping this series even though you suggest there could be in this blog. And btw…Arie totally fits the description of Christian Grey. Too bad he can’t act because he would be perfect.

    Comment by Audrey — June 13, 2012 @ 3:05 pm

  47. Good to be back to the US and able to read your blogs after seeing The Bachelorette. Kalon did not get a quick ride over to the airport. Having just been to England and some of the other sites they will visit, I know he had a long ride. I had just eaten at Cox’s a little over a week ago, and it is about a 2 hour ride back to London.
    I am in the minority and feel it is Sean she will end up with. I perceive Jef more of a younger brother type. He spent a half hour, which it takes for the London Eye to make its rotation, with no more than talk. And I sensed more passion with Sean, afterall,she had her arms around his neck when kissing him.
    None of the bloggers have made mention of her comment about a blonde and young child showing up in Utah. I dont feel that was fair to Jef. On different occasions in the past she has said she would not move to Austin, etc. And I feel it is a reality that has to be accepted by viewers, etc. The Hendricks family has played a very important role in her past, and has an even more meaningful connection to Ricki as her grandparents. And not just any grandparents, but ones who have given her everything she needs, and has. And with Emily’s allegiance to Ricki, I find it difficult to believe she would take her away from her grandparents.
    For that reason I feel Emily’s future husband would have to be willing to move to Charlotte.

    Comment by Divrdwn41 — June 13, 2012 @ 3:14 pm

  48. Love you and your blog always so funny and covers everything I was thinking in my head during the show. Although i have to disagree with you about ryan his jerk attitude just really doesnt make me angry still a fav. i think my top pick would be sean or arie although jef has been growing on me this last episode. i dont know what it is about arie he really isnt that cute but theres something about him that makes me think he is. if emily doesnt find someone out of all of these great guys she is doomed,she even jake owen if he cant do it for her i dont know who can.

    Comment by Shawna — June 13, 2012 @ 3:37 pm

  49. I love your blog, I have to say. :)

    Comment by Tonya — June 13, 2012 @ 3:39 pm

  50. -Arie looks like he’s constantly extremely hiiiiigh. And that’s basically my one and only opinion on him.

    -Jef seems like a genuine person, but kind of naive.

    -Ryan is incredibly gross. Just UGH. Shut up, Ryan. (Also, his head is freakishly small)

    -Doug seems kind of …slow. In his brain.

    -Sean seems very boring, and there’s something off about him.

    -So happy Kalon got kicked off in a big way. His face and personality are two very awful things, and not even in an entertaining-reality-tv-way. Also, he looked like he was always droolig (because of lipgloss, I guess? Or maybe some kind of weird veneer-finish. (idk how fake teeth work). Either way, it was weird.)

    I can’t remember who the other dudes are.

    Comment by farts — June 13, 2012 @ 3:45 pm

  51. I think Sean is the best man for Emily, and I think they have a lot of passion. Emily doesn’t show much emotion, but I see some with Sean. I love how they slow danced at the cocktail party while they talked about things. So cute.

    Jef seems like a great guy, but just not for Emily.

    I also think Ryan is a great guy, just not for Emily. He is trying to have some fun and make her laugh. Everyone has to get off his back. Edits people, Edits.

    Comment by tj — June 13, 2012 @ 3:50 pm

  52. I agree with one of the comments here that Emily needs to lighten up BIG TIME. She is really making it very hard for me to watch this season. She is WAY too serious…believe me I understand that this process that she’s going thru is very important to her and that she wants to find the right guy but she really needs to stop being so uptight. For her to get mad at all the guys last night because they didn’t come to her sooner about Kalon was just wrong in my book. I think she should have gotten rid of Kalon as soon as he told her to let him talk. His ass would have been out that door right then and there.

    Comment by melanie — June 13, 2012 @ 4:21 pm

  53. Arie had a fall from his pedestal in Emily’s eyes, she expected so much more from him as her favourite. Emily felt so let down by her favourites and needed some validation. I think this is why she turned to Ryan, who she knows well and who is always teasing her and saying dumb comments. Ryan must be her comfortable and predictable home base. He’s always honestly, outspokenly himself, and she can rely on that. Emily went through chaos this week, both in getting to know 2 more wonderful men (Sean and Jef),and losing confidence in Arie and herself. She turned to her best friend on the show for reassurance. I hope Jef can take over this role for her because he’s more solid in his thoughtfulness, kindness and maturity, and they have the spark.
    Thanks for your funny insights, I love your blogs!

    Comment by Also Susan — June 13, 2012 @ 4:22 pm

  54. Goooooo Ashley! truly entertaining… I m not Arie’s biggest fan… Jef s my #1-cute, honest, genuine, playful, fun, passionate, bf fiance husband and dad material… can’t ask for more than that…and then Sean-there s just something about him that screams perfection, and then Arie… Nevertheless, an awesome blog and keep them coming!

    Comment by Armina — June 13, 2012 @ 4:44 pm

  55. Also really liked Alejandro… I wish we got to see more of his personality and got to know what he is about. I am sad he’s gone before Ryan Doug and Chris, all of which just don’t do it for me.

    Comment by Armina — June 13, 2012 @ 4:46 pm

  56. Thank you Ashley for your blog. The only thing I have to say is that how great for Emily that she has such nice and sweet men in Arie,Jef,Sean,and Doug. At the beginning I thought Ashley Heber had a monapoly in handsome guys.But I’ve changed my mind with these four guys. Sean reminds me of a young Robert Redford. His smile is devistatingly the bomb. Looking forward to your blog next week.

    Comment by Bobbie — June 13, 2012 @ 5:25 pm

  57. I wish everyone would lighten up on Ryan. He’s like a hot southern stetson man!!! Ryan has a sense of humor and even if it’s a little cocky at times I see the sexy manliness in it also. If you’re a true follower of the show, you know there is a fashion blog after every episode. I’m sure the guys are aware of that too. Seeing Ryan likes to joke around and lighten the mood, I think he wore the scarfs for the fashion bloggers!!!

    Comment by Becky — June 13, 2012 @ 5:25 pm

  58. I’m actually not surprised at all that Alejandro was the one that picked up on the Shakespeare clue – the man’s a superman. Cancer surviving, top 25 under 25 entrepreneurial, massive ethical business leading superman. Seriously – this guy is to “mushroom farmer” what George Washington is to “farmer” or Mozart was to “musician” – the term just doesn’t do it justice.

    The only shame here is that guys that are horses’ lower posterior regions, like Ryan, or complete non-factors like Wolf, somehow outlast him.

    Comment by Robert — June 13, 2012 @ 6:06 pm

  59. I adore Jef. I really like that he is so different from any of the other guys on the show. He isn’t playing the manly, tough-guy routine, and I think that really appeals to Emily in looking for a father figure for Ricki. He seems so genuine. One thing that bothers me is that the men are promising to love Ricki unconditionally when they’ve never even met her. I feel like it’s hard to know if they’re ready to step into that role without trying it out first. Obviously, Emily is not going to bring Ricki along on every date, but I sort of hope the last few get to meet her so Emily can see if the men can back up their promises! As always, love the recaps, Ashley, keep them coming!

    Comment by Mercedes — June 13, 2012 @ 6:15 pm

  60. You are hilarious!

    Comment by Shirin — June 13, 2012 @ 6:19 pm

  61. I’m totally a fan of Jef, you’re right with the word swoon. His boyish charm yet mature nature is so attractive. I particularly loved when he said, “This is the most anticipated first kiss ever. ” definitely swoon worthy, I hope she chooses him…

    Comment by Meg — June 13, 2012 @ 6:30 pm

  62. Ashley, why does ABC treat their female leads (Ashley, Emily) so poorly by having contestants throwing insults at them when they are supposed to try to win affection with the leads? last year we had bentley making horrid comments about Ashley and now Kalon with the baggage comment. It was not because Kalon did not get enough attention from Emily. Kalon was cast to be the jerk that had no intentions of hooking up with EMily and to call out Emily’s insecurities.

    Comment by eureka — June 13, 2012 @ 6:52 pm

  63. This blog is seriously the best thing about this franchise! They should totally have you at the MTA. At the very least, they should have some of your pics when they do the funny outtakes. I am still randomly snorting with laughter over the Ryan hair yarmulke from last week. Thanks for your blog!

    Comment by Robin — June 13, 2012 @ 7:23 pm

  64. Never cared for Ryan until I found him on twitter and read some of his tweets. Changed my opinion of him plus a close friend of David Good’s dated him and said he was a really sweet, funny man and was upset the way he was being portrayed. Check out @ryanbowers22

    Comment by Geena — June 13, 2012 @ 7:53 pm

  65. I agree with TJ and Becky. Ryan is a southern gentlemen, looking for love, but trying to have a little fun too. Unlike some of them, he’s getting to know her, just like she’s getting to know him and the others. When someone comes on the show and starts professing their love immediately, it’s not real. People seem to forget that this is a two way street….BOTH have to find out if they are a fit for each other.

    Everyone gets bent out of shape for Ryan teasing about Emily being the “prize”. Of course, she’s the prize….she’s what everyone coming on the show is competing for. It is a competition…no matter what anyone says. There were 25 men trying to get her to like them and they’re trying to see if they like her.

    Personally, outside of Sean, I think Ryan is the best fit for her. He’s older, responsible, has a sense of humor, was such a sport in the kitchen and carrying her groceries. I thought he looked like he belonged there and could definitely see him being a Daddy. Look at his videos and how he works with the kids.

    The way I see it:
    Arie is a “player”, too smooth and to me..not that good looking. BTW, LOVE is better than LUST, if you’re looking for a long term relationship.
    Jef is nice, but comes across to me as not sincere, says what she wants to hear; too young and immature. Being Daddy isn’t all fun and games.
    Ryan: already made my comments about him.
    Doug seems nice, but there’s something I can’t wrap my myself around with him.
    Sean: good fit, mature, southern gentleman. Actually, I see the head, heart and body for her with him.
    Chris: out – just don’t see anything there
    John: nice, but out
    Travis: nice, but like a brother

    Bottom line: I think Sean and Ryan are the best fit for Emily, but I think both of them are too good for her.

    Comment by Pat — June 13, 2012 @ 9:06 pm

  66. I knew from the moment he threw his skateboard into the bushes I’d love Jef… SO glad that he’s such a good person!

    It wouldn’t even be a competition for me. At this point, I would have sent all other men home (sorry Arie!).

    Thanks for the laughs Ash, see you next week :)

    Comment by Laura — June 13, 2012 @ 9:35 pm

  67. Don’t you think that Arie is too physical? I think he is too physical! Emily knows too well from Brad that it’s not only about the looks or how passionate the kisses are…it takes more than that to love someone forever while being a dad to a six year old. I just don’t trust Arie for a long term relationship.

    I like Jeff, but I think Sean is absolutely the best choice. As Emily said, their kisses and their relationship will only keep getting better!

    Comment by Sheila — June 13, 2012 @ 10:15 pm

  68. ASHELY YOU THINK YOUR SO CUTE AND YOU NEED SO MUCH ATTENTION AND THEN MORE ATTENTION, JUST LIKE EMILY WHO THINKS SHE’S SO BEAUTIFUL, MY MOTHER SAYS SHE’S BEAUTIFUL ALL THE TIME AND I’M SICK OF WATCHING THIS STUPID SHOW IT’S FOR ATTENTION WHORES WHO TRY TO SHOW OFF THEIR LOOKS, SO WHAT, NOT EVERYONE HAS TO BE GOOD LOOKING, MY FATHER SAYS I HAVE A GOOD PERSONALITY AND THAT’S WHAT COUNTS AND IT TOOK 10 YEARS OF THERAPY AND 6 DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS TO FIGURE THAT OUT SO IF I WANT TO SLAM EMILY I CAN SLAM HER ALL I WANT I DON’T CARE

    Comment by Onetwotreetree — June 13, 2012 @ 10:50 pm

  69. 100 % in the end she will pick Arie, She fall for him very hard;

    Comment by june — June 13, 2012 @ 10:55 pm

  70. Your charm and humor and grace are just BURIED underneath your vulgarities now, Ashley. Swear words are for people who are too lazy to write well. I laughed at one of these photos this week, so I know you still have it in you — somewhere.

    Comment by Allissa — June 14, 2012 @ 2:58 am

  71. I also like Ryan, I feel he is the best pick for Emily, he also coaches young male football players, he is in shape, light hearted, can ease the tension “he was just what she needed after the Kalon deal” I really hope he at least goes to hometown dates, and Jim Kimmel interview Emily 3 weeks ago and he picked Ryan as one of the final 4, Jim was also 100% correct on Bens season on the final 4. So Im on team Ryan. And I think Ashley is buying hook, line sinker, the bad edits on this guy, and so are many other former bachelors doing the same when they should know better.

    Comment by Thomas Knight — June 14, 2012 @ 3:43 am

  72. I’m usually just a reader but Ashley, your blogs are too fabulous to not be part of!

    So I try not to take this show too seriously even though I’m legit addicted and scheduled my Mondays around it…yeah. But with that said, here are my unsolicited thoughts:

    Emily may be a little cold, but she’s doing the best she can in an awkward and emotional situation. She is acting with grace in my opinion, for the most part, and by seeing her in these moments, viewers are being exposed to an Emily that is not in fact perfect. Nobody wants to really be put on a pedestal so much – it’s exhausting after a while! It really annoys me that our culture has suggested that just because she’s so beautiful that she somehow “deserves” love more than others. It’s a gift that we all desire and thankfully most get a chance to experience – and it really doesn’t have to do with our deserving it (thank the Lord!! – otherwise I’d be screwed!).

    Onto the guys. There’s something about Team Jemily. Yeah, he’s young-looking (can’t help that, poor chap) and isn’t Mr. Macho which everyone thought Emily would want, but their date this week just felt very normal, in a good way. He wasn’t shoving his tongue down her throat to prove he’s Mr. Fabulous like a certain good-looking race driver we all know. He just let himself be himself…and then she could be that way also. Granted, I had Arie pinned as her final choice from day one, and perhaps that might still happen, but because he’s so smooth and it seems to be all about fireworks, I’m not entirely certain. I would be pretty disappointed if that was the case. Jef really is a breath of fresh air to Emily I think, and he wasn’t trying to be all smooth at all. Sean is also great, but I agree with most that he doesn’t have much of an edge – he might be too “perfect” and that would eventually eat at Emily, I think. I actually think Sean and Kacie B would be a cute couple!

    Anyway, I’m actually liking this season a lot, and my top four choices for Em are Arie, Jef, Sean, and Ryan. I think Arie and Jef will be top two…as to which one she chooses, let’s just hope she doesn’t choose passion over practicality…

    Comment by Jen — June 14, 2012 @ 5:44 am

  73. Your recaps are so awesome! You always catch things that I miss during the episode, and I love it! I look forward to your blog every week!

    I am totally rooting for Arie and Jef! I like Sean… but I don’t know, I think she wants to like him a lot more than she does. You can’t deny the chemistry between Emily and Arie, it’s palpable! And Emily and Jef are so sweet together. You can tell that she is very nervous to be around him.

    I HATE Ryan. He makes me squirm, and he has a misshaped head which I just can’t seem to get past. I really, really, really hope he isn’t the next Bachelor. That would be a total letdown. Anyway, go Jef & Arie!

    Comment by Christy — June 14, 2012 @ 7:55 am

  74. Why are there so many people saying that Sean is boring? There is something to be said for a normal, down-to-earth, sweet guy. Jef is no more interesting than Sean, he just dresses like a hipster and styles his hair, so all of a sudden that makes him interesting. That being said, I like both of them for Emily, I am just annoyed by the assumption that Sean is boring.

    Comment by Martha — June 14, 2012 @ 8:57 am

  75. It’s unfortunate that Emily seems unable to open up around Ryan, and really let her guard down. I don’t see her showing much excitement around him. (Kacie B Wink wink)

    As for Kalon, I hope Spivey is ready to keep pouting about him for months; hopefully it will still be hilarious to the audiences (who will likely see him again later if RS is right–he must not have offended casting?). Also, Spivey-you probably think your boldness in the captions should be appreciated when it’s so honest, right? You are a guiding light to help him see his flaws?! He won’t come landing his charlietango on Spivey’s roof for forceful spiveyspying and negotiating about her ‘unflattering’ blog. Or will he? I guess Spivey can get further clarification of what he is capable of from Erica Rose who is half his victim and friend?! She has referred to him as her boi and has said she has tried to be friends with him. I am a little confused by that alliance (if it is indeed one).

    The Jef commentary had me laughing for sure—I wonder how much etiquette training he is familiar with anyway. I like watching his hands because they always seem so poised in interesting configurations. I think he naturally will not be very offensive or intimidating to Ricki.

    Sean is another man who I think she easily trusts and it shows in their interactions already.
    Emily looked sooo stunning (not horrified in any weird way) when he was doing his speaking to the crowd. Loreal should give her a call, damn lady, v pretty!

    Comment by CL — June 14, 2012 @ 8:59 am

  76. OK is it just me or does Kalon’s teeth remind you of the old stories of people with wooden teeth? Or perhaps one of those talking dummies? He looks like a live talking dummy.. seriously folks who could ever think he’s good looking, he’s a cartoon character

    Comment by MamaBear — June 14, 2012 @ 11:48 am

  77. Although I think Ryan comes across as cocky, there is wisdom in a lot of what he says, in regards to having self confidence and being the best person you can be. For example, I’m glad he called her out on continually talking about how she is going to get fat and ugly after having kids. I actually liked it when he asked her why she can’t just be the beautiful woman that she is. Own it, Emily! That being said, I don’t think her confidence will ever catch up to where his is, so I don’t think they are a match! Sean’s likely the sleeper because they aren’t giving him much screen time and perhaps editing it to seem boring with him.
    Jef doesn’t exactly scream “manly”, and he’s not doing himself any favours by talking about Chloe handbags!!

    Comment by Ali — June 14, 2012 @ 1:00 pm

  78. @ ONETWOTREETREE — You’re a real psycho, though your comments pretty much explain why you’re such a mean-spirited, jealous troll on the boards.

    Comment by Jolene — June 14, 2012 @ 1:04 pm

  79. I LOVE your blog. You are so clever and funny with your screen shots and captions. I disagree with you about Arie though. I don’t like him. He comes across hot and heavy with Emily. I don’t think he’s really trying to get to know her the way Jef and Sean are. I admit I can understand where Emily is coming from with Ryan. He’s smarmy, but damn he’s adorable. I would have kissed him too after the reenactment of the balcony scene of Romeo & Juliet.

    As for Alejandro, he may have gotten very little airtime, but at least he’s the ONLY one who knew the quote from Romeo & Juliet! He deserves some credit for knowing a little something about classic literature!

    Comment by Phoebe — June 14, 2012 @ 1:06 pm

  80. I LOVE your blog. You are so clever and funny with your screen shots and captions. I disagree with you about Arie though. I don’t like him. He comes across hot and heavy with Emily. I don’t think he’s really trying to get to know her the way Jef and Sean are. I admit I can understand where Emily is coming from with Ryan. He’s smarmy, but damn he’s adorable. I would have kissed him too after the reenactment of the balcony scene of Romeo & Juliet.

    As for Alejandro, he may have gotten very little airtime, but at least he’s the ONLY one who knew the quote from Romeo & Juliet! He deserves some credit for knowing a little something about classic literature!

    Comment by Phoebe — June 14, 2012 @ 1:06 pm

  81. After this episode, I am all for Jef! Your picture with him and all the hearts around him is exactly how I feel. swoon.

    Comment by Candy — June 14, 2012 @ 1:24 pm

  82. Just read the other blogs… They are good too, but yours is hilarious. I hope you get paid the big bucks for this because the number of responses that all other blogs get together does not add up to what you get alone. I think that says a lot about your likeability, talent for writing, the ability to offer a different, fun point of view, and the ability to pinpoint the details that we may miss during the episode… Lovely blog from a very very lovely person.

    Comment by Armina — June 14, 2012 @ 2:13 pm

  83. @ Jolene, your just jealous and you hate your life.

    Comment by Onetwotreetree — June 14, 2012 @ 3:32 pm

  84. TEAM ARIE. NOT EVEN CLOSE. GAME OVER. GO WITH YOUR HEART AND YOUR PASSION EMILY. YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO SETTLE. HE IS A HOT LOVING GUY.

    Comment by Deb — June 14, 2012 @ 6:08 pm

  85. @ Onetwotreetree: Ugh, read that back to yourself while looking in the mirror. I seriously do wonder what you look like. All you do is pick on Emily, spread rumors and make up lies sitting there behind your computer…really, you should be ashamed of yourself.

    Comment by Jolene — June 14, 2012 @ 7:12 pm

  86. I love your blog. You’re comments are so funny and right-on. You say what I’m thinking but can’t put my finger on exactly how to say it. Does anyone else think Jef looks like he is a junior higher? It looks like Emily is robbing the cradle with that one. She said in the beginning that Arie reminded her of the love of her life, Ricki’s dad. My vote goes to him, I hope he wins–who cares if he dated the producer of the show a few years ago, she’s marrying someone else and Arie is head over heels for Emily. As for Ryan, what a douche with a capital D. As for Sean, so adorable and cuddly like a teddy bear, but needs more edge to make sparks fly for Emily. Doug is just the underdog because he is too real for Emily, she likes to live a more make-believe princessy existence. I will vomit if Jef wins, he looks like his voice cracks he looks so young. I hope Arie wins. What is up with the Bachelorette producers scraping the bottom of the barrel for Emily? Couldn’t they have found some better suiters in all the world? Some of them were nice this season, but come on, can’t the bachelorette franchise find a wider variety of enticing choices for poor Em? Guess they wanted to stir up some drama with the likes of Kalon and Ryan.

    Comment by jen — June 14, 2012 @ 8:23 pm

  87. Jef is too young for her! If she chose Jef (with one ‘f’) it would be like having two kids!

    There is obvious passion with Arie and she would be used to his lifestyle, etc. We know he has money and there is a spark, my only concern THERE is the whole “aries a player”.

    Doug and her COULD work but just because they both have kids doesn’t mean they are a match.

    Sean is the safe choice but I think she would get bored.

    TEAM ARIE!

    Comment by Emily — June 15, 2012 @ 8:48 am

  88. I’m still team Arie at this point. I see the passion more easily between the 2 of them. Passion helps even years down the road. :) They do need to make sure they have more in common than just racing and passion.

    During episode 1, I wrote down the names of the guys I like just off of what I seen there. Arie (searched him and found out who he is) and Jef were both on the list. Sean didn’t make my list until episode 3. I think that was when the group date met her friends. So they are my top 3. Arie, Sean and Jef.

    I didn’t like Kalon from the start. Ryan lost me at him wanting to be the next Bachelor. Travis is hilarious, but We aren’t seeing much of him.

    I’m not sure when the others would have had a chance to tell her what Kalon was saying. They could have been like Courtney on the last season of Bachelor and just showed up, but…they have to be careful to not upset her because of Ricky. This is too soon for any of them to meet her, even accidentally, right? I’m not sure…I know I wouldn’t want them even accidentally meeting my kids yet. Emily might not have minded under the circumstances. Who knows. I’m guessing. lol!

    I love love Love how feisty she got. I loved her line of the West Virginia hood rat backwoods. too funny and when she used Kalon’s words back on him. Priceless! He was such a jerk.

    Comment by Patty — June 15, 2012 @ 9:14 am

  89. No reason to believe Sean or Jef won’t be passionate towards her and that’s really the gateway anyhow. I don’t think the passion is exclusively with Arie; it is in multiple directions and ways and is represented by more of the continued strength of what is inside~shared.

    I don’t think she needs to look too far to find various expressions of passion in Arie, Sean, Jef.

    Comment by passion — June 15, 2012 @ 10:41 am

  90. I completely agree with you about the mind, body, heart division! I think Jef is best for her because while it isn’t AS passionate as it is with Arie, Emily and Jed do have chemistry (AND heart). I read another blog that gave Emily and Jef’s kiss a “6″ and I have to disagree! I’d give it an 8 (while Arie is probably…an 102? Totally fevered, ha). BUT physical chemistry with Arie isn’t enough to build a life around (still don’t mind watching in the meantime!) You’re *YAWN* caption on Emily and Sean’s kiss was awesome. I think he’s boring. I was disappointed by Ryan’s lame “comeback” too. I love your blog. Most of us have watched the episode so we don’t need a play by play like a lot of the other blogs-just some entertainment! Which you deliver so well. I’ll be checking out your cosmo blog soon!

    Comment by Krista — June 15, 2012 @ 11:20 am

  91. Okay, so maybe its just me….but I thought sean’s speech was mondo awkward. He kind of just dragged on about love preacher style, I felt like I was at a Sunday mass instead of a date. It was a little odd the way he was really loud about it too…something that would send me running for the bushes if I were emily. It reminds me of guys that chase after you even though you dont want them. Anybody else feeling me on this?
    Maybe emily’s into that? I feel like Sean is too much of a good righteous type of guy for Emily, she seems like she likes that dependability for the sake of Ricki (and thank god that hes hot because otherwise he’d have not a single bad boy bone in his body) but it doesn’t feel like the attraction will outweigh the type of person that he is. She needs somebody who shes got to chase after a little too.
    Arie…oh Arie. He doesn’t seem to have that much to him honestly. Hot kisses, yes, but not much else. I don’t find him contemplating being a part of emily’s life, more like part of emily’s bed.
    I like Jef the best so far. We’ll have to see. Ali basically bashed Jef and Emilys relationship for being too slow, but hey, if it were up to Emily, she would have grabbed and kissed him much sooner in my opinion. You don’t generally complain about a guy not kissing you earlier if you are not attracted to him. Also, Ali Fed is the darling that chose the hot guy over the guy she actually had more in common with, so not sure I trust her opinion on love.

    Comment by Jessa — June 15, 2012 @ 12:20 pm

  92. You are HILARIOUS, I love reading your blogs and look forward to them every week, just as much as watching the actual show! Keep up the good work, your blog blows all of the other blogs out of the water…ahem, NATALIE.

    Comment by Ashley B. — June 15, 2012 @ 12:24 pm

  93. @onetwotreetree Are you the regular troll on ABC board and did you just recently get banned over there?

    Casting for Emily this season just goes to show that ABC does not care if Emily can find someone. They knew she would be too self-conscious and emotionally restrained to give the much needed drama so they cast those losers to make the season. The only benefit Emily gets from the show is $$$, a free wardrobe, travel, stardom, and the image of a sainted single mother. Hopefully all of these will help her land a man after the show.

    In real life there is no way any of the guys is ready to take on a child. Lets be honest. You can’t make the decision to step in and be a dad to someone ‘s child in a span of 8 weeks. And yes like it or not, its baggage.

    Comment by truth — June 15, 2012 @ 12:33 pm

  94. @ truth I wasn’t a troll. Just bored with the place, 99.9999$ of the people were so stupid and immature.

    Comment by Onetwotreetree — June 15, 2012 @ 1:32 pm

  95. @onetwotreetree so you got banned for real. Not fair. I’m disappointed because your posts are amusing. We need you to expose Spandex Em lol

    Comment by truth — June 15, 2012 @ 3:32 pm

  96. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG <3 JEF !

    Comment by abera — June 15, 2012 @ 5:33 pm

  97. Love the blog as always! I just have to say…as much as Ryan has irritated me the past few episodes, he cracked me up this episode. At the very end of the show when he gave his “modern day Shakespeare” version of Romeo & Juliet I laughed so hard. He surprised me, but I still definitely don’t think he’s the guy for Em. I drove through his hometown of Augusta on a road trip last weekend and wished I could’ve found him and asked, “What the hell is wrong with you, dude?” for some of the dumb things he’s said, lol.

    Anyway, I adore Sean and Jef. Sadly I don’t think she’ll wind up with Sean. I think it’ll be Jef as she doesn’t really have more than a physical relationship & closeness with Arie. He looks like a phenomenal kisser though! So for now, I say to Emily- get it girl. ;) . Then pick a guy who would make a great husband to you and father to Ricki (aka not Arie).

    Comment by Amanda — June 15, 2012 @ 6:49 pm

  98. If you want a really good laugh, snag a screen capture of Kalon at either one of the last two rose ceremonies he was in, and then compare that to a still of Mr. Wong Burger (one of him holding the phone). Look it up on Google Images. Talk about twin brothers or dead ringers – YIKES!

    Comment by William — June 16, 2012 @ 8:51 am

  99. hand down Arie the last man for her.

    Comment by jane — June 16, 2012 @ 11:30 am

  100. Okay, I just don’t get why people are into Arie. He seems so feminine to me.The way he moves his hands, and when he touches Emily – it just creeps me out! There is no way I would be into a guy like that. Team Jef all the way!

    Comment by DLH — June 16, 2012 @ 12:28 pm

  101. Love the blog!!! Hysterical!! I sure hope she pucks Arie. They had a spark from the get go. Jef is really just saying what she wants to hear. Arie actually listens to her and is attentive. Their mutual attraction is obvious. His having helped raise children prices he gets that it’s work. Jef talks of playing with Ricky, Arie was talking about driving kids to school…..huge maturity difference. Arie is perfect.

    Comment by Mery — June 16, 2012 @ 10:15 pm

  102. I think the final two should be Sean and Arie, but I hope she picks Sean in the end. They look so cute together and he has a “good guy” image to match her “good girl” image. Arie seems like a player.

    Comment by Renee — June 17, 2012 @ 5:31 pm

  103. I thought your “50 Shades of Grey” comment was funny because I totally pictured Arie as Christian when reading the book…..maybe a little hotter though.

    Comment by Ang — June 17, 2012 @ 9:15 pm

  104. Chris was my favorite by far. Jeff does nothing for me; he’s a little kid and very wooden; Ryan is sleezy; a Jock with no subtley; Arie is o.k. but seems to be a player; Sean seems genuinely nice but they do not have a lot of chemistry. I would have gone for Chris hands down: 25 or not! Of the remaining one, I would pick Sean.

    Comment by tradergal — June 17, 2012 @ 10:59 pm

  105. Jef. Only Jef. He’s a keeper.

    Comment by MKDB — June 18, 2012 @ 11:04 am

  106. Finally, Ang – someone with some sense! Chris is fantastic – so genuine and mature. I don’t get it with Jef either – not cute, not manly, not funny, wierd hair… I also don’t understand why Doug didn’t get any credit for coming forward with the Kelon news. I think Doug’s totally cute and mature and a great match for Emily – black T and all!

    Comment by JDeuce — June 18, 2012 @ 2:38 pm

  107. So here are my thoughts on these three….(Love the blog btw!) I LOVE Sean. I am not a fan of blondes typically either, but he is one sexy piece of @$$! Plus the all-american, my parents are still together, I want an eternal love like that thing is kinda cute. Now Jef….he looks like he could be her kid brother, or Duckie from “Pretty in Pink”. SUPER nice guy, but too young and immature looking, I could never date a guy that looks like he still needs a chaperone to go out on a date. Now Ari (aka Zach Braff’s brother), seems like an amazing guy as well, but he’s kind of a goober, which most of the time can be a good thing, but there is something awkward about him that kind of turns me off. I’d still do him, but he doesn’t feel as sure/confident in himself like Sean is. Confidence not cockiness like king dingaling Femme Ryan, who thinks his sh*t don’t stink. And the hair??? I mean come on dude!!! I think confidence in this case is what is really winning me over. MMMMMmmmmm love me some Sean right about now. I’d have some mad passion with that guy! It’s on it’s way and if she doesn’t find it, I sure as hell could!

    Comment by Cassidy — June 18, 2012 @ 3:34 pm

  108. I’m so sick of this! Just cause Jef LOOKS young doesn’t mean he’s immature/a little boy!! Yeesh, some of you would make awful bachelorettes if we’re going by looks only! He’s one of the most mature and sweet guys there. And he knows when to be serious and when to be fun and how to treat a lady. He’s cool, calm, great with kids, good head on his shoulders for starting his own charity/company and clearly he’s driven. He’s a humanitarian, worldly, interesting (just watch him teach the other guys all this stuff in the deleted scenes) PERFECT GUY for Emily.

    Team Jef X10000000!! Oh he makes me swoon like you don’t even know! What I would give to be in Em’s shoes! I’m so sure he’s the F1..Em is def smitten by him. Can’t wait to see him propose!!!

    Comment by LB — June 19, 2012 @ 1:22 am

  109. OH and he’s SO articulate about his feelings. He can listen to her but also express himself so clearly and perfectly.
    LOVE HIM.

    Go Jef <3

    Comment by LB — June 19, 2012 @ 1:23 am

  110. I have been watching the Bachelorette from the beginning. I could not tolerate Ryan right from day one. He seems narcissistic, completely in love with himself. Please. I cheered tonight when Emily stuck to her guns and didn’t give hime the rose. Yeah Emily! Good girl! Now, Jef is sweet but as others have mentioned he looks about 14 and unfortunately Emily looks like his mother. Not because she doesn’t look good, she does, but he looks like a baby and says “like” every other word. Like: stop it please! I really think Ari is the one who is truely falling for her. He is sweet and I do not agree that he is a “goober” as someone mentioned. He just seems so funny, fun, sweet and kind. They are hot together and you need that. I could see them together. How can you say he is not confident? He’s a freaking race car driver. I believe you need confidence to drive over 100 miles per hour. That’s my two cents for whatever that is really worth.

    Comment by Catherine — June 19, 2012 @ 1:28 am

  111. Hurry up Ashley. I can’t wait to find out what you have to say about Emily and Ryan’s date! I’m anxiously waiting for your blog.

    Comment by Bobbie — June 19, 2012 @ 9:34 am

  112. Her kisses with Jef KILL me- they are so awkward. I had more passion with my 7th grade boyfriend! Those sad little tentative pecks and the way she leans back instead of melting into them like she does with Arie (or even Ryan) are just clear indicators that that first kiss was a baaaaad one. I cringed the whole time!

    Comment by Katie — June 19, 2012 @ 11:19 am

  113. As always…I swear to god you are reading my mind with all your thoughts and comments!! Every time you write captions in Doug-speak, I literally LOL!!! Great blog again! Go Team ARIE!!! (I saw the preview for the next episode where they are supposedly going to reveal some info about Arie’s involvement with a producer on the show, which gives me the “sadz” but I am hoping it will all be resolved and Emily won’t fall out of love with him. As you said, their kisses give me goosebumps!!)

    Comment by Megan — June 20, 2012 @ 2:50 pm

  114. I LOVE Sean and Doug. I think they are both very sweet and caring, as well as strong and confident manly men. I cannot stand Arie! I think he is so dainty! Yes, it is so hot the way he takes control and goes for the passionate kisses, but there is just something about him that seems so womanly and awkward that I am completely turned off by him. I just don’t get all the hype over him at all!

    Comment by Kira — June 21, 2012 @ 9:00 am

  115. I think Doug is/was very sincere and a gentleman! He was the one who had the smarts and guts to tell Emily about Kalon’s rickie comment! Jef didn’t and he was there with Kalon! So Doug is a bit slow! Sometimes things are slow to boil but once they do they are HOT!!! Like Doug! I vote for him to be the next Bachelor and bring his son along like Emily did with Rickie! Ugh Arie is too touchy and awkward. Sean is sweet and always giddy and happy and definitely aggressive!

    Comment by Jilly — June 26, 2012 @ 1:13 am

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