ASHLEY SPIVEY’S BACHELORETTE BLOG: EPISODE 3

I have to admit that I was super excited for this episode because the producers answered my prayers and gave Arie some more screen time and boy-oh-boy – they did not disappoint!

I really liked this episode because I think we finally got to see Emily showing some interest in the guys!  It’s really obvious that she is very physically attracted to Chris, Sean, and Arie – but I’m really hoping that one of them has enough edge to keep her attention and affection!

Let’s get to the recap!

The episode opens with Emily getting breakfast in bed from her Mom and I’m envious – both because I want my Mom to bring me breakfast every morning and because Emily looks amazing without makeup!

I wonder if Emily is frustrated after her date with Dawson last week?  No worries – her faith will be renewed after she gets dates with all the guys she is really attracted to!

Is it just me or has Alessandro’s hair gotten progressively worse with every episode?  Why is he even here?

Chris gets the first date and while I know Emily is really attracted to him, I don’t really see why she is so interested in him.  He’s a little too monotone for my taste but he does seem really nice!

Emily tells Chris that he’s going to have to work for his supper because they are going to scale the side of a building to get to their date.  I bet Emily is peeing her pants on the inside!  She is not a very adventurous person and she’ll be the first to admit it!

Yeah, Chris just really isn’t doing it for me.

Emily is terrified at one point because it’s starting to storm and the wind is picking up while they are climbing the building!  So she does what any person would do – she closes her eyes!  What the heck Em!  Hurry and get up that building!

When they reach the top, Chris wants to kiss Emily…

…but then he chickens out and high-fives her instead.

You can just see the disappointment on Emily’s face.  Man-up Chris!

Then at dinner, Chris tells Emily that he’s 25 and now him acting like a 3rd grader that only wants to hold hands makes more sense.  Guys mature way slower than ladies y’all.

Emily has never dated someone younger than her so you can probably bet that Chris will not be the final one standing.

Back at the house, the guys get a group date card and I’m left speechless by how tatted-up Charlie the Teddy Bear is.  He seems a little less cuddly now.

Is anyone else perplexed by Michael?  Why is he still there?  Does he ever talk?  How does he decide whether to wear his hair down or up?

Now Emily’s a little drunker and she’s seems to have forgotten that Chris is younger than her.

She takes him to a private-ish Luke Bryan concert and Chris keeps on sticking out his tongue while they are dancing.  I really don’t like when people do this.

Even Luke Bryan looks grossed out!

Chris says that this is one of the best moments of his life.  Obviously, he hasn’t lived very much in his 25 short years.

The boys arrive to the group date and Doug and Ryan both decided to wear the ever-present black v-neck t-shirt.  Personally, I think Ryan should have let Doug wear it.  Ryan has already worn it like 5 times.

Emily shows up and Ryan is already trying to dominate her time.  Dude is a little cocky don’t ya think?

Turns out, they guys are going to be interviewed by Emily’s friends today!  They ladies look a little underwhelmed at first!

This face really killed me.

Wendy (I think this is her name) is the funniest, sassiest mom ever and I lol so hard when she asks Travis if he fertilized the egg.  He looks terrified.

Then she yells out, “Here comes Jersey!” when Stevie walks up and I fall in love with her some more.

It’s nice to see Tony do something other than call his son or talk about how much he misses him but he should NEVER, EVER do this again.

Wendy really cracked me up while she was interviewing Sean.  We all know who she’s imagining as Christian while reading 50 Shades of Grey.

Then the guys’ kid skills are tested as they play with a bunch of random kids on the playground.  Poor Jef eats it while trying to impress Emily with his sliding skills.

Ryan decides that he hasn’t had enough time with Emily yet (he’s definitely had THE MOST time with her) so he interrupts her girl time to make a comment that no guy should ever admit: He says that he wouldn’t “love on her as much” if she got fat one day.  Look Ryan, no one wants his or her significant other to get fat.  However, when someone asks you this, you lie and say that you would love them just as much!  Duh!

Later on the group date, Doug tells Emily about losing his Dad at a young age and then having to go through foster care with his sister.  Both Emily and I shed some tears.  Bless his heart for having to go through such a tough situation and still being a pretty positive guy!

HE CAN TALK! IT’S A MIRACLE!

Kalon is visibly upset that the next 1-on-1 date went to Arie.  No one cares.

He’s a freaking racecar driver ToolMcDoucheNugget!  Of course he can drive a stick shift you idiot!  Ugh!

Tony is sad.  So sad that Emily can’t stand his sadness and sends him home.  I’m ok with it because he kinda had a baby voice thing going on and I’m not into that.  I think a reality show was just not the place for Tony – I’m sure he’ll find someone great now that really appreciates his devotion as a dad.

Sean gets the rose on the group date because of Wendy’s glowing reviews!  JK – I think he really impressed Emily on this date with his easygoing nature, strong faith, and how much he impressed her friends.

Yes Michael is still here, and apparently; Emily’s not the only one fighting for Jef’s affection.

Seriously, what is with all the dude-love on this show????

Now we finally all get to stare at Arie and poor Emily can’t even look at him – she’s terrified of roller-coasters and keeps her eyes closed the whole time!  Open your eyes Em and look at the amazing piece of mancandy that is Arie!!!!

Because the producers tortured her by putting her on a roller coaster, they decide to reward her by introducing her to her idol – Miss Dolly Parton!  I really thought it was adorable how surprised and excited she was!

She’s so happy!!!

If you have read my blog since Ashley’s season, you’ll know that I love to analyze kisses!  Arie wins major points in my book for giving Emily forehead kisses!  This is something so intimate that you usually only do once you feel very comfortable around a person!

I love that Arie was looking at Emily the entire time!  Both Ryan and Chris looked at both country performers a lot, but Arie only has eyes for Em!

At dinner, Arie opens up about his past love and how ready he was for kids!  Emily is obviously impressed but she plays a little joke on Arie by acting like he isn’t going to get the rose.  Luckily, Arie has a sense of humor and he actually laughs when Emily makes a joke.  (Yeah, I’m looking at you Ryan!)

The kiss that Arie and Emily share on the carousel is so hot it’ll make your teeth sweat.  I haven’t seen kisses this romantic since Ashley and JP!  I love how Arie caresses Emily’s head and hair with his hand!  Guys pay attention – girls love this!

Emily says that Arie reminds her of Ricki and this makes her very happy but scared at the same time!  I’m just happy to see Emily be into someone!

Back at the mansion, TMDN makes a snide comment towards Emily when he basically tells her to shut up and stop interrupting him.  You can see all the “like” go out of her for Kalon.  Dude, you just messed up!

Travis decides that the whole egg thing has gotten a little weird so he recruits Emily to help him murder Shelly, the egg.  I scream out in horror as they toss the most beautiful ostrich egg I have ever seen, onto the pavement where she breaks into a million pieces.  You know what else broke into a million pieces? My heart!  RIP Shelly!

Then Emily has the weirdest conversation that I have ever seen on this show.  Alessandro tells Emily that he doesn’t view Ricki as a honor but instead he sees her as a compromise.

This obviously does not go over well, but he is sticking to it!  It is not a language barrier – he means compromise gosh-darnit!

Dude, just stop talking.

Emily has had it with Alessandro’s lack of respect for Ricki and she kicks his Brazilian booty to the curb.

Why does he keep on saying that he’s a gypsy king?  What the heck is a gypsy king?  Why did he fall in love with his cousin?  Why does he wear his hair like that?  Does he go tanning in a tanning bed?  I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!

Luckily, Arie is here to wipe that horrible hair image out of all of our heads.  I love that Emily seeks him out for comfort and he instantly embraces her like he is protecting her.  The forehead kisses are really doing it for me!

Ryan spies Arie kissing Emily and he is pissed!  He now knows who his direct competition is and because Ryan is very competitive, I bet we will see him being even more aggressive after this episode.  Also, didn’t he already wear this suit on his date with Emily?

Seriously, if Emily and Sean made some babies they would be the cutest babies ever conceived.  I also love how Emily always grabs his arm when they are talking.  I think she is really into the idea of letting Sean lead her.

His kisses may not be as passionate as Arie’s but they are very sweet and gentle and I love it!  He is a little more cautious with Emily but I like the slower strategy for him and it seems to be working!

It’s rose ceremony time and the last rose will go to Stevie or Nate – I don’t think this is that hard of a decision!

In the end, Stevie goes home and no one is surprised.

Kalon aka ToolMcDoucheNuggest seems to be really happy by Stevie’s departure and I’m really hoping that it’s TMDN that Emily tells to “Get the f*ck out!”  I’m tired of seeing his smug mug on my tv already y’all and we’re only 3 episodes in!

So what did y’all think of the episode?  What did y’all think of Chris?  Did y’all love Wendy as much as me?  Did you shed a tear when Shelly died?  Is Arie hotter than Ryan Gosling?  Discuss!

Remember to head on over to my blog http://www.saynotocosmo.com for more commentary on the Bachelor/Bachelorette world as well as my musings on relationships and why Cosmo is bad for you!

Also, every week I’m doing a vlog for realitynation.com called Spivey Says! I give my thoughts immediately after every episode of the Bachelorette and answer any questions that y’all have about the show! Head on over to http://www.realitynation.com/tv-shows/the-bachelorette/season-8-episode-3-recap-with-ashley-spivey and check it out!

 

70 Comments »

  1. Ashley,
    You are so right on. I love reading your blogs…they are so insightful. I only wish that Emily had sent home Kalon immediately, aka TMDN. I’m kinda surprised that she kept as many guys as she did…I thought a few more might go home. She needs to clear the decks!

    Comment by liz — May 29, 2012 @ 11:15 am

  2. Love the blog! Arie and Sean are by far my favorites so far..And yes I do believe Arie is much better looking than Mr Gosling..although as soon as I watch Crazy/Stupid/Love again..i might change my mind =) As far as her friend Wendy goes, she was funny..she reminded me of slightly toned down version of Chelsea Handler for some reason lol

    Comment by Ashley — May 29, 2012 @ 11:19 am

  3. I wanted to see more of Jef so badly, and the producers gave us like what 30 sec?
    I agree that Arie and Em seem to have a great connection but I’m not so sure about him after having read what RealitySteve says about his dirty laundry..
    Sean is dreamy but I’m still #teamjef, he’s just adorable.
    Great post by the way, laughed so hard about the alessandro comments :-D keep up the good work!

    Comment by Solveig — May 29, 2012 @ 11:24 am

  4. Arie > Ryan Gosling > Every human being!

    Comment by istall91 — May 29, 2012 @ 11:26 am

  5. Take your fkn meds you psycho. JESUS.

    Comment by Ty — May 29, 2012 @ 11:38 am

  6. Love your blow by blows! Especially that you noticed the boots – what was up with that! The dress seemed a little less than ideal fitting as well. But I love you, Emily!!! :)

    Comment by Lisa — May 29, 2012 @ 11:49 am

  7. Hi Ashley!!!
    This is my favorite part of the week – when your blog is posted!! Ok, so few things:
    Arie. Sigh. Swoon. Pant. He is sooooo dreamy!! At the cocktail party, when he cheered her up, told her to have a good night and enjoy herself, and just kept holding her until she was ready to let him go… amazing. I would have just closed a door and forgotten the rest of the party!
    Charlie. His tattoo’s are hawt like him! I just want to curl up in his lap and have him tell me anything at all!
    I was wondering what you think about Emily getting to have the help/imput of her friends/family during all of this? Will it change for the next Bachelor/ette? I know personally when I’m trying to make relationship decisions, or when I’m super excited about someone I NEED my bestie! I think it might result in better, longer lasting relationships if the ‘contestants’ are able to interact with the real people in their lives!!!
    That’s all, I’m now going to watch Spivey Says and see what you have to say!
    Happy week, (congrats on the move-in!)
    Jenn

    Comment by Jenn — May 29, 2012 @ 12:12 pm

  8. I seriously wait for this blog every Tuesday. I absolutely love your commentary, and could not agree more on TMDN. Get him out of here!

    Comment by Ashley — May 29, 2012 @ 1:11 pm

  9. Oooh Sean is more eyecandy than Arie is I must say after watching this episode. Arie and Emily seem to have a special connection. I think right now she’s sure he’s her guy. I read a lot of comments/rumors that he is a player or whatever and I don’t know where it’s coming from, but if she’s the most into him I hope it’s not true. He also sais the right things, and not in a Ryan way, but in a way that seems sincere. However, it doesn’t necessarily mean he is sincere, some guys just know how to play the game better. I hope he’s not fake. And I won’t judge by rumors yet. Sean seems perfect in every way and Emily seems perfect in every way so they would be the perfect match. But there is a part of me that hopes Jef (is straight &) sincerely likes her and that they would prove to be a great couple. The hot super trained guy and the beautiful girl is such a cliche. How to have the beautiful princess girl end up with the cool guy riding in on the snowboard sweeping her of her feet? ;)
    I hope Emily finds her guy.

    The best part of the episode was seeing more of Emily’s spunk and Alessandro. He was hilarious, the interview in the end and just the weird conversation. I can understand she was offended, but I think (even if very stupidly) he brought out a valid point that she needs to keep in mind. There is some sacrifying you have to do when having a child, not everybody are ready for it, even if they think they are. And I’m a little hesitant about Arie’s comment “The girl with 2 children broke up with me because I reminded her of her ex that is also a racer” SERIOUSLY? What a coincidence!

    And yes, the Shelly thing was kinda sad. Didn’t it represent that he would take care of Emily and Ricki? :/ Wendy was hilarious, if she’s single and things don’t work out for Emily and Sean I’m sure he’d love herself some of that hotstuff… Then again who wouldn’t! ;)

    Comment by SJ — May 29, 2012 @ 1:13 pm

  10. And of course hilarious blog as always Ashley!

    Comment by SJ — May 29, 2012 @ 1:16 pm

  11. “Which clearly is a hard emotion for my face to display.” LOL!!!

    Best Blog Eva!!

    Apparently ASS-andro is a gypsy king AND a “Vampire Detector” per Emily’s blog. haha Which is why we see her in boots and a gown…taking her out to the woods where he hung crosses all over the place (or something like that, lol)

    Comment by Ryvetted — May 29, 2012 @ 1:20 pm

  12. You hit on it. Emily is probably a great person, but I find it hard to get to like her because she is like a robot. I want to really see her cry, laugh, yell, anything!!

    She seemed to start to have some feelings for some of the guys, but I am still having a hard time getting into this season.

    I don’t know, hopefully it picks up.

    Comment by tj — May 29, 2012 @ 1:29 pm

  13. Spot on, girl!! There have been several guys on this season who seem like they could just be taken out in a mass elimination. I absolutely cannot stand Kalon. Ryan is definitely a narcissist and a jerk for his fat comments. And I am also glad that Alessandro and Stevie went home as Stevie just didn’t seem like a good match for Emily and Alessandro was so insensitive with his comments about Ricki being a compromise in his life. Wow! I am (so far) pulling for Arie all the way! Those two are hot together and I agree about the forehead kisses and how he came to comfort her when she was upset. Did you see how they were kissing and she just KEPT ON kissing him?? They are into each other. Also, I think Kalon might be around for a while longer than we all wish, kind of like Courtney in the last season of the Bachelor. I don’t know how much say the producers have in who gets eliminated and who sticks around, but just for the drama factor, I would imagine they would want him around for a while because we all love to hate him. Though I have been pretty impressed with Emily’s send-offs so far in that when she feels like a guy should not be there, she doesn’t mess around. She just sends him home. So maybe she still is giving Kalon another chance, but I am certain she would never wind up with him. Either way, I totally agree with you Ashley…..He is a TMDN!!!!!

    Comment by Megan — May 29, 2012 @ 1:36 pm

  14. Here is Emily’s reason for her boots with the dress (from her blog on people.com)

    Alessandro’s comments definitely threw me for a loop, but that wasn’t even the craziest thing he said. What you all didn’t get to see is that he thinks of himself as a “Vampire Detector” and let me know that not only was there a vampire in the house, but he also had me join him in the woods, which explains my combat boots as I was walking him out.

    Comment by Jamie — May 29, 2012 @ 1:47 pm

  15. Shoot! Sorry, I didn’t post it all!

    From Emily’s blog:

    Alessandro’s comments definitely threw me for a loop, but that wasn’t even the craziest thing he said. What you all didn’t get to see is that he thinks of himself as a “Vampire Detector” and let me know that not only was there a vampire in the house, but he also had me join him in the woods, which explains my combat boots as I was walking him out.

    When he took me out to his special place in the woods, I saw that he had hung crosses from every limb on every tree and in that moment I knew we were living on completely different planets. I do appreciate Alessandro’s honesty, but maybe he should try to keep a house plant alive before we test his skills out on my daughter!

    Comment by Jamie — May 29, 2012 @ 1:48 pm

  16. Poor Alessandro. I know he said there was no language barrier but there clearly was. That’s why he was so dumbfounded when she got so upset and let him go so abruptly. “Compromisso” in portuguese is directly translated to English to mean a “commitment.” He was clearly trying to tell Emily that it would be a big commitment to have a child and to take on a role of being a father. Obviously some of the things that Alessandro said came off as being rather odd to a native English speaker but cut the guy a break. English is not his first language and even though he speaks it almost flawlessly, there are still mistakes he is going to make without realizing. In fact because he speaks it so well is probably why people dont give him the benefit of the doubt but remember he did not grow up his entire life in the US and even though he is speaking English, it is likely for him to make mistakes without even realizing he is offending someone. I have heard countless native Spanish and Portuguese speakers use compromise in the wrong context because it is so similar for the word they use to mean commitment.

    Comment by Jessica — May 29, 2012 @ 1:49 pm

  17. This is a great blog and hopefully she finds one of these guys to find true love with. I like how you commented on all the major scenes. It is too early to tell who she may end up with but I think she is sending the right ones home. We need to pray that she makes the right decision and is happy in the end and is still happy after all is said and done.

    Comment by Leona N — May 29, 2012 @ 1:53 pm

  18. Great recap as always,just like every Tuesday when I have to stifle my laughter at my desk…

    Apparently “compromisso” means “commitment” in Portuguese – maybe it was a language issue with Allesandro… regardless, he’s a wierdo and I’m glad he’s gone!

    Comment by Meghan — May 29, 2012 @ 1:59 pm

  19. Love your blog as always! I am rooting for Sean! Arie is a definite looker, BUT I just think Sean would make a magnificient hubby and father!!! Have a great week!

    Comment by Dana Doster — May 29, 2012 @ 2:26 pm

  20. All you need to know about Arie and how “authentic” he is is that he dated Cassy Lambert (producer of the show), and was hooking up with his best friend and business partners girlfriend, who was 21, before the show, and texted her during it. Class act.

    Comment by Steve — May 29, 2012 @ 2:48 pm

  21. All you need to know about Arie and how “authentic” he is is that he dated Cassy Lambert (producer of the show), and was hooking up with his best friend and business partners girlfriend, who was 21, before the show, and texted her during it. Class act.

    Comment by Steve — May 29, 2012 @ 2:48 pm

  22. your pictures are hilarious! best.blog.ever

    Comment by Irene — May 29, 2012 @ 2:59 pm

  23. I love your blog way too much. Glad to have it since I missed the episode last night! And Ty, gtfo. And get a sense of humor. Bam. I love Arie.

    Comment by Beth — May 29, 2012 @ 3:19 pm

  24. I think it was great that Emily’s friends got to hang out with the guys and question them, it makes me sad that Ashley had to go through that whole Bently thing alone. I truly think Sean is by far the best for Emily at this point he is more grounded. I might change my mind when we see more of Jef. I am glad Emily got rid of the “Vampire Detector” and Stevie. (would have been interesting to have Allesandro tell us who the vampire was in the house)haha Love your blog Ashley!

    Comment by Roberta — May 29, 2012 @ 3:21 pm

  25. Ashley has decided that it is not a language barrier with Alessandro and is sticking to it, by golly! It is hard for some people to admit of the possibility that they are wrong, even if comments inform them otherwise. It’s just easier to decide someone is crazy or evil, right Ashley?

    Comment by Hindsight — May 29, 2012 @ 3:38 pm

  26. OMG Ashley its if you can read my mind and then some!I would bet all the M & M’s I have that she is plotting to tell TMDN to get the F out of there (haha)I never understood why Compromise Man was not sent packing when she saw him.(I dont want to say his real name as I may get nauseous lol)
    I agree Arie is a GOD and Sean is handsome.I just hope he steps up and takes a tiny bit more control.(the good kind)
    I applaud the egg guy for getting rid of it but why couldnt they put it in an incubator and hatch it? lol.and Ryan just wants to win.I cant see him as a Dad at all.Plus I think he would spend more time in the mirror then Emily and her daughter put together haha!
    Anyway Ashley..Great commentary and pics!!

    Comment by Nanette — May 29, 2012 @ 4:23 pm

  27. Ashley,
    I think you might be as funny as Wendy! This is hysterical and can’t wait to read more.
    Ashley

    Comment by Ashley — May 29, 2012 @ 4:48 pm

  28. Funny that you refer to TMDN as evil. While watching the show last night, the thought ran through my mind that he reminded me of a serial killer.I can’t for the life of me, figure out why she didn’t send him packing immediately with that “let me talk” comment. Dang, if you’ll treat her like that when you know the camera is on you and you are trying to impress her, how will you act if you actually win her over. Definitely a TMDN!

    Comment by Sherry — May 29, 2012 @ 5:07 pm

  29. Let’s be honest, Alessandro’s hair was reason enough for him to be dismissed, let alone him being a Gypsy who loves his freedom. I think Emily will be just fine without him in the line-up.

    But can we please discuss Ryan? Anyone else think he’s one more episode from a mad Hulk moment?

    Comment by Rachel — May 29, 2012 @ 5:13 pm

  30. I fell in love twice this episode. Arie and Sean! Wow!!

    Comment by Crystal — May 29, 2012 @ 5:39 pm

  31. Spivey is the most unattractive chick ever on Bachelorette. Her bf is a dog too.

    Comment by Ben — May 29, 2012 @ 5:48 pm

  32. DOES NO ONE CARE THAT ARIE DATED A PRODUCER FROM THE SHOW?!?! (Cassie Lambert)

    and does NO ONE care that Arie was hooking up with two girls before he left for filming? oh yeah, they were 20 and 21.

    Comment by Suzana — May 29, 2012 @ 5:49 pm

  33. Great Blog…Laughed a lot.. However, Arie…is not what he seems to be ladies..put it this way…if it seems perfect this soon…then DO NOT BELIEVE IT… It is all a stunt by producers…to keep us watching..hopefully Emily is in it for her and her daughter and not the 250,000 dollars for doing the show..if we believe in love…that is…

    Comment by HE IS JUST NOT THAT COOL — May 29, 2012 @ 6:08 pm

  34. Yes, people do care that Arie was a sleazeball… that is, if they believe it. But sadly, most girls judge based on looks alone (see above comments :/) and don’t want to believe anything bad about him. If he has most of America fooled, oh well, but if he has Emily fooled and Ricki suffers for it, that’s the sad thing.

    Comment by Kristyn — May 29, 2012 @ 6:09 pm

  35. Great Comment Kristyn..does anyone realize that a 6 year is being but in harms way.. Single Mothers have it tough…but this is a whole new situation..I hope Ricky wins more than ever.. she has a great mom, but need to have a normal life to keep her grounded, and siblings…i think she is a little spoiled and misses her mother’s attention. She needs to learn to share and learn the world does not evolve around her…

    Comment by HE IS JUST NOT THAT COOL — May 29, 2012 @ 6:18 pm

  36. Why do you think Ricki is spoiled? She is just as any little girl should be– loved! :) She is lucky to have a mom who loves her so much; I just hope she will eventually have a father who loves her too!

    Comment by Kristyn — May 29, 2012 @ 6:48 pm

  37. Ashley, I think you are beautiful and hilarious. My favorites for Emily are Sean and Doug so far. She does seem pretty into Arie, and most people are watching the show for the escapism, and so that’s probably why people aren’t more upset about what’s been going around about Arie’s past. I hope Emily picks someone she can make a good life with. I loved her fan girl moments with Dolly. So cute.

    Comment by Rebecca — May 29, 2012 @ 6:49 pm

  38. Rachel–haha, I can totally see him blowing up into the hulk :) I wonder what Kacie B, who’s openly been admitting a major crush on him, will think after this episode?

    Great recap Ashley! I used it to show my husband and he thought your freeze screen shots were pretty funny too!

    I have no idea how the crazy vampire guy got on the show. Emily not only ticked walking him out, but completely freaked out and unnerved. I thought she was pretty classy keeping it as light as she did that she couldn’t see “spending the rest of my life with him”, when she was probably thinking, “Who cast the psycho onto my show?”. Seriously, if some dude with crazy eyes (you nailed it right on the head with that shot Ashley!!), had told me he was hunting a vampire then took me “into the woods” where he’d created some kind of crazy psycho lair…I might have wet my pants and started screaming for help. She handled that all like the class act she is!

    Arie…doesn’t do it for me. I just don’t find him attractive! And I’m worried after hearing the rumors about him. But, I admit she is way into him and it was aweomse how he comforted her after the bout she had with a crazy gypsy!

    Comment by Beth — May 29, 2012 @ 7:17 pm

  39. But agree with the comments above–I hope he is not fooling her and she finds real love.

    Best part of the show was her reaction to Dolly Parton. So Cute!! :D

    Comment by Beth — May 29, 2012 @ 7:21 pm

  40. I found it worrying when Emily basically ran to Arie for comfort… that’s game over for the rest of the guys, lol. It really wouldn’t be so bad if Arie wasn’t so fake. I’m pretty upset at myself for falling for his charms at the beginning and rooting for him! Even when I know his past, he’s still such a smooth talker!
    That makes me hesitant to believe Sean is really that good too. Once bitten, twice shy, I guess haha. You guys think he’s real? Not like that really matters now, since Emily has said that Arie reminds her of Ricki’s dad and that “guys like him are hard to find.” Actually, girl, guys like him are a dime a dozen, and you deserve so much better!! Any girl does!

    Comment by Kristyn — May 29, 2012 @ 7:25 pm

  41. Oh yes, I too think the best part of the episode last night was Dolly! She is so sweet, and I loved the song she wrote for her husband!

    Comment by Kristyn — May 29, 2012 @ 7:30 pm

  42. Love your blog! I found myself laughing quite a bit. Wish we could have seen more of Jef last night but hopefully we will get something soon!

    Comment by Izzy — May 29, 2012 @ 8:02 pm

  43. So funny and a quick read too. Best way to recap an episode.

    Comment by lanah — May 29, 2012 @ 8:40 pm

  44. Omg. I want Arie to have my babies.

    Great recap- I laughed all the way through.

    Comment by Sarah — May 29, 2012 @ 9:40 pm

  45. umm…arie is not hot! he needs to put some weight on him asap! sean is a total babe though…!

    Comment by Rose — May 29, 2012 @ 10:23 pm

  46. Ashley,

    Did you read what Reality Steve wrote about Arie?!? Breaks my darn heart! I just can’t believe it yet! Do you believe what RS says??

    Comment by Jen — May 30, 2012 @ 7:00 am

  47. How is Eddie Munster??? Make sure not to pop your implants pizza face. As usual, coming across as a bully.

    Comment by eddiemunster — May 30, 2012 @ 7:30 am

  48. love love love your blog. so funny. very entertaining. this week was CRAZY! agree on all your thoughts especially regarding amazingly cute Arie and sweet sweet Sean. all the other funny stuff is just plain funny and i love it. cant get enough of this type of stuff. good job and thank you for entertaining us! oh and i have a feeling ABC found alessandro on one of the past seasons during taping and just picked him up and added him to this show. i mean, i just dont believe he actually applied? lets be real. maybe he’s homeless living like a gypsy and sought shelter in the mansion. hah!

    Comment by kristin — May 30, 2012 @ 9:22 am

  49. My favorites are still Jef and Sean! ADORABLE!!!

    I 100% believe Reality Steve (based off his track record) – and think it SUCKS that Arie is still there. I really hope she doesn’t pick him.

    Comment by Jennifer — May 30, 2012 @ 10:00 am

  50. This is my first time reading your blog and I freaking love it! You are so spot on. And I too am head over heals for Arie. Yum!!!

    Comment by Rachel — May 30, 2012 @ 10:49 am

  51. I think Kalon thinks of himself as a Dom.

    Comment by Ha — May 30, 2012 @ 1:37 pm

  52. This is one of my favorite blogs! I love the captions, every week it never disappoints!!
    <3 Melissa

    Comment by Melissa — May 30, 2012 @ 2:19 pm

  53. Jef seems like the only real dude there, but is thinking “WTF am I doing here with all the meatheads”. Can’t wait to see Jef with Emily more, the deleted skateboard scene of her on his sb was the cutest thing ever, they seem to have an early connection and spark, but looks like Arie is being rammed down our throats at this point. He seems ok, but has all the right answers, and almost too perfect. No one is perfect. I love Jef’s goofyness and want to see more of what Emily said in the interview “Jef has the best sense of humor and silliest” plus she said Jef has the “best mind”. major points on that one, meaning he’s a super smart dude, plus hot and cute.

    Comment by Melissa — May 30, 2012 @ 3:17 pm

  54. One major upgrade from last season (or rather Ben F’s season) to this one is that Emily actually seems to have decent taste in men, thus far she hasn’t been drawn to any complete idiots. On the negative side Emily’s situation is kind of awkward, and I am not talking about her having a kid but the fact that she comes from money and already lives in a mansion that I guess she would expect the guy to move into sort of makes the dude feel weird hey can i sleep in your mansion? She seems to want the dudes to bend 100 percent and adjust their lives to accommodate her lifestyle which is kind of stupid. She could use a slight bit of compromise, I think Alessandro is bad ass, I know they tried to marginalize him as crazy by bringing up the third cousin thing, but still he is spot on Emily has to meet guys half way not just make demands.

    Comment by nicci — May 30, 2012 @ 6:12 pm

  55. Ashley you’re hilarious! I only read your blog every week and I always laugh so hard! Learned a while ago not to read it at work!
    I agree… Im just worried that reality steve is right and Arie might not be as good as he seems… I hope she chooses Sean!

    Comment by Josefine — May 31, 2012 @ 2:14 am

  56. Thank you for making me laugh SO HARD I ALMOST DIED!! :D I love the pic and caption of Alessandro “Can you not tell by my crazy eyes and hair? Classic. I look forward to reading more!!! (maybe more than I look forward to seeing the next episode?)

    Comment by Leah — May 31, 2012 @ 11:16 am

  57. Best blog out there! Great job Ashley! Very creative!

    Comment by Tasha — May 31, 2012 @ 12:49 pm

  58. Melissa, Emily does not live in a mansion. Her house is nice and big, yes, but real estate in NC is not that pricey. I know a few mid-level income families that live in the Charlotte area and they live in homes similar in size to hers. Just an FYI.

    Great blog as always, Ashley!!! You never fail to make ma laugh.

    Comment by Gina — May 31, 2012 @ 2:00 pm

  59. Can someone explain why we are supposed to be so upset that Arie dated a producer briefly, 10 years ago? Please, If you’re old enough to drive you have a past. I don’t expect any of these guys to be virgins. I’ll get upset when I find out that he’s been dating minors, sleeping with married women or getting messages from an old girlfriend while starring as the Bachelor.

    Comment by cinde — May 31, 2012 @ 8:34 pm

  60. While I do believe Alessandro is a freakin weirdo (he woulda been gone since day one had I been doing the picking), I think what he was trying to say was that marrying Emily and taking Ricki as his daughter would be a “commitment”, not a “compromise.” Commitment=Compromiso in Spanish & Portuguese, so it’s likely he thought Compromiso=Compromise. Translation FAIL! Bye bye Alessandro, aka “Gypsy King”. LOL

    Comment by Ang — May 31, 2012 @ 9:01 pm

  61. Honestly,I love Arie. He’s nice to look at. But am I the only one thinking that he’s too good to be true? The thing that stood out the most to me was that when he talked about the breakup with his ex, he said he missed her two kids the most… Yeah, I don’t buy that, it seems too rehearsed.

    Comment by Bee — June 1, 2012 @ 1:12 am

  62. Have you read the article where Reality Steve has information from young women(19-22) that Arie was/is dating, he was sending message to them while filming the Bachelorette….

    Comment by Jennifer — June 1, 2012 @ 9:12 am

  63. Funny as always :) I really don’t think Arie is that hot…I think I like Doug the most! But I think Sean is a good fit for Em. Glad to see Stevie and Alessandro go!

    Comment by antonia — June 1, 2012 @ 9:23 am

  64. I love love love Arie. Those eyes are to die for. Im glad someone else noticed the forehead kisses! There is nothing cuter! However, im completely torn between Arie and Sean. He is just so adorable and won her friends over. Wendy cracked me up as well! We need more Wendy this season! Team Wendy! Alessandro wins for creepiest guy in Bachelorette history. I was definitely not sad to see him go. As always, loved your blog Ashley!

    Comment by Jordan — June 1, 2012 @ 3:49 pm

  65. I love Wendy! They need Wendy commentary on every show.
    I love that you also noticed Kalon’s dumb comment about the stick shift!
    Arie is the bomb – love, love, love him. He seems sweet but also strong. Her eyes lit up when he talked about being ready for kids. She also seemed really into the fact that he travels a lot.
    Sean creeps me out for some reason…he talks like he’s a pastor or something…like he’s trying to be profound and inspirational with every single thing he says. He always seems “on”, never just relaxed and down-to-earth. And his hair is so blond that it makes it look like he has scalp patches in between the spikes. Ew. No.

    Comment by Ali — June 2, 2012 @ 7:27 am

  66. This weeks blog is funny, entertaining and thoughful( as usual). Her friends are very real. Reminds me of myself and my mom friends (i am not an “emily”, i am more the short dark haired exotic one,lol). but, i do have mom friends who are waaaay cuter and more glamorous then me, so that is realistic.

    Comment by suzi Q — June 2, 2012 @ 8:14 am

  67. Sweet Jesus…Arie is wonderful. *sigh*

    Comment by Mak — June 5, 2012 @ 1:30 am

  68. Ok, there is no doubt in my mind that unless Arie really screws up in a major way, he has already won that final rose. Emily said, “Where did ou come from?” That is something I found myself saying to the guy I am dating now, I have never ever said it to anyone else or even tout it about anyone else and there is no doubt in my mind this is the man I am going to marry. That one little phrase said it all in my opinion. The other guys are in trouble. I am kind of pulling for Sean though,I really like the guy. He seems so incredibly genuine and just good hearted.

    Comment by Annie — June 5, 2012 @ 7:58 pm

  69. Ashley,
    My husband is sleeping and I just caught up on reading your blogs and laughing so hard as usual! God, you kill me!
    And yes, there are no words for Arie. Hottest man EVER on the show.
    Wowza.

    Comment by Sharifrommilwaukee — June 12, 2012 @ 9:48 pm

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