ASHLEY SPIVEY’S BACHELOR PAD BLOG: EPISODE 3

I’d thought that I’ve seen it all when it comes to the craziness that can happen amongst Bachelornation, but this episode really showed me that people aren’t always who you think they are.  Have y’all been equally as shocked at this season?

 

Let’s get on to the episode!

 

 

Reid made a boo-boo on the last episode by trying to get the girls to vote out Ed.  His plan backfired and now he’s scared to death that someone is going to tell Ed that he organized the vote.

 

 

Ed is so saddened by the latest vote that he wants off the show.  He wasn’t prepared for this kind of backstabbing which kinda makes me give him the side-eye.  This is Bachelor Pad dude!  Jaclyn convinces him to stay and these two are giving me the warm and fuzzies.

 

 

Just kidding.  Jamie is just overly excited to get out of the house.  Ps – Is Lindzi ever going to do anything on these episodes besides be in bed with Kalon?

 

 

The challenge is called, “Hot Sludge Funday”, which will require everyone to get through an obstacle course of toppings that usually make up an ice cream sundae.  It sounds sort of yummy until you think about how hungover they all are.  I would vom all over the place if I had to fight my way through some ice cream in the hot sun.

 

 

Personally, my favorite part of the episode was hearing Chris Harrison say nutsack.

 

 

Harrison throws in a little twist by forcing all of the guys to switch partners with the girl to their left.  Jamie isn’t very psyched about having Ed as a partner, despite his proclamations that he is indeed an athlete.  I don’t doubt that Ed is athletic – but I bet he does better when he isn’t still inebriated from the night before.

 

 

I don’t really know Sarah that well but she really cracks me up.

 

 

While Kalon hasn’t been that big of a TMDN during the show, he says something horrible about Erica (which I would never repeat) and I start praying that somehow he will eat $h!t on this obstacle course.

 

 

I don’t really have much to say about this picture.  I just thought it was awesome.

 

 

Jaclyn isn’t really lactose intolerant.  But she sure as hell was the worst at getting through that ice cream.

 

 

I was going to make fun of Dave pretty hard for wearing the worst man tank top in the history of man tank tops (never forget Ryan Bowers, never forget).  But Dave alerted me to the fact that he actually wore this tank top because he knew it was going to get destroyed and he didn’t want to wear something that he actually liked.  Well played Dave!

 

 

Ed + Anything physical that isn’t in the bedroom = Horrible

 

 

Despite Jamie finishing 1st out of the ladies, Ed still comes in dead last.  Hell, he doesn’t even technically finish.  Because of that, they both will have a vote against them in the next round of votes.

 

 

I actually really love that Dave came back and beat the alumni.  Dude is a fighter and I really like that about him.

 

 

So Dave gets the date and he picks Erica, Blakeley, and Jamie to come with him.  Blakeley isn’t too happy about the company on the date – specifically Jamie.

 

 

Chris, however, is psyched!  This is the first time he will be able to get sleep in a week!

 

 

Dave could not be happier to have 3 lovely ladies accompany him to prom. Meanwhile…Jamie tries to call a truce with Blakeley…

 

 

But she ain’t having it.

 

 

Back at the house, Ed is still trying to figure out what the hell happened last week and who wants him out.

 

 

Reid takes Ed outside and convinces him that he would never vote him off.

 

 

Liar, liar, pants on fire.  I’m disappointed Reid.  I know everyone lies on this show but I don’t think friends are actually screwing each other.  I know Kalon tells everyone what they want to hear but he isn’t actually good friends with anyone.

 

I think where Reid screwed himself is by being interested in an “outsider”.  If he were partners with someone else, they more than likely would have been in the alliance.  Once Paige was voted off, Reid should have gone to Ed and strategized rather than conspire against him.  Friends over the Pad any day dude.

 

 

Back at the prom, everyone is dancing horribly to some country chick that I’ve never heard of.

 

 

Jamie knows that she has a vote against her, so she goes in for the save by flirting hardcore with Dave.

 

 

Blakeley, who brought Dave on her date last week, is pissed that Dave is giving her enemy a lot of attention and more than likely – giving her the rose!

 

 

Back at the house, the hookup that has been a long time coming, begins with a little drunken back-riding.

 

 

Jaclyn and Ed hookup in private but everyone can hear their wild sex noises throughout the house.  Weirdly, they sound exactly like some of the same sounds Ed made while hooking up with Sarah.

I didn’t particularly understand why Sarah said that Jaclyn was clingy, since I’ve never got that impression from her before – so I’m just going to chalk it up to Sarah being butt-hurt that Ed had a new bed partner.

 

 

Back at the prom, Blakeley is once again, frightening another guy away by being way too forceful.  She’s trying to make Dave give her the rose since she put her neck out for him last week.  However, I think Dave thought that maybe he could start something with Jamie; while he knew that Blakeley only had eyes for Chris.  THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T ACT SO INTERESTED IN PEOPLE THIS EARLY IN THE GAME Y’ALL!

 

 

Turns out that Blakeley’s boobies weren’t enough to persuade Dave and he ends up giving Jamie the rose.

 

 

The other two ladies go home, and Jamie and Dave proceed to keep each other’s bodies as far away as possible from each other.  Poor Dave – he definitely isn’t getting any.

 

 

Does Nick ever say anything?  Isn’t he super muscular and stuff?  Why isn’t he winning more challenges?  Why aren’t the girls super crazy about him?

 

 

At first I thought that Tony was wearing his kid’s shirt and I thought that was super weird.  But then I remembered that he had a son and not a daughter.  However, I’m still perplexed about why he is wearing a youth’s x-small shirt for girls.

Rachel picks Tony, Nick, and Michael to go on her date.

 

 

The date is being held at a wax figure museum and at first I think that something is wrong with Chris Harrison because he isn’t moving at all.  It never even occurred to me that he was be imitating a wax figure – he looks so normal!

 

 

Back at the house, Jamie is telling the cameras all about how Chris likes her so much and will eventually become her partner.

 

 

Then Chris turns down Jamie, who is wearing a bikini and seems a little drunk, from getting into bed with him.  At this point, I am screaming at my tv screen for Jamie to walk away and not care about CBEF, who most certainly does not care about her.

 

 

This crying scene was a little dramatic – No?  I just feel like she should get it at this point – he isn’t going to change partners and he isn’t treating you well.  Move on girlfriend!

 

 

I had to bless her heart a little extra when I saw her getting into her bed with her bikini still on.  One, why aren’t these girls washing their faces before they go to bed?  Ewww.  Secondly, wearing a wet bathing suit for an extended time can give you a gnarly yeast infection ladies!  (The more you know.)

 

 

This picture cracks me up!  So much is going on!

I thought this was a funny date.  Not romantic at all but it seemed like a lot of fun to scare the crap out of fans and then interact with them!

 

 

Did anyone actually think that there was any chance that Rachel would give the rose to one of these two?

 

 

Of course she gave the rose to Michael!

 

 

Back at the house, Sarah finally confesses to Ed that Reid is the one that convinced her to vote for him and Reid is planning to do the same thing again.

 

 

Later that night, Ed decides to confront Reid about trying to vote him off.  Thank the lord that they are in a hot tub because I’m sure Reid peed his pants during this conversation.

 

 

Ed is finally wising up to the fact that Reid is backstabbing him.

 

 

Blakeley is scared that she will be voted out of the house tonight and everyone else is just plain scared of Blakeley.

 

 

Donna is scared that she will be voted off as well, but she is more sad that she hasn’t hooked up with anyone yet while on BachPad.

 

 

Nick tries to remedy that situation and once again I see way too much of Donna’s tongue.  Can we make a twitter account for that badboy – @donnastongue?

 

 

Turns out that Kalon is the swing vote for the girls so he can make the ultimate decision whether to send home Donna or Blakeley.

Who in the heck decided to give him that much power?

 

 

Reid pulls Jaclyn aside and tells her that they should become partners because Ed is definitely going home.

I couldn’t really concentrate during this talk because I kept on looking at the huge bruise on Jaclyn’s leg.

 

 

I think Reid really underestimates Jaclyn – she is way more loyal that he thought.

 

 

Jaclyn cannot keep the disgust from showing on her face while she is talking to Reid.  She immediately goes to Ed after their talk and tells him about what was said.

Then she goes and makes sure that Reid’s plan doesn’t succeed by getting all the girls to vote for Reid and note Ed.

 

 

This scene actually cracked me up because Erica and Blakeley were holding Donna’s hand until they got roses.  Then it looked like they could care less about Donna going home!

 

 

Reid doesn’t end up getting a rose but does he get a verbal smackdown from Jaclyn before he leaves.

 

 

 

For what it’s worth, I do think that Reid realized that he played the game poorly and made some mistakes.  I hope that from this whole experience, he now knows that honestly is the best policy.

 

 

I’m honestly going to miss Donna.  She was funny in a ridiculous way and didn’t seem like a fake person!  I wonder if her and Nick are still kissing each other with way too much tongue?

 

So what did y’all think of the episode?  Did y’all crack up when Chris Harrison said nutsack?  Did Dave make a mistake by not giving Blakeley a rose?  Do you cringe when Jamie seems so enchanted by Chris?  Do y’all like Michael and Rachel together?  Sad to see Reid go?

 

See you all next week and check out my other blog, http://www.saynotocosmo.com, for more Bachelor and Bachelorette news, relationships advice, and some other random musings from me!