ASHLEY SPIVEY’S BACHELORETTE BLOG: EPISODE 1

Wow, is it really that time of year again?  It seems like just yesterday that I was watching my bestie from our season of Bachelor 15 be the Bachelorette (Ashley Hebert).  Now I get to watch another friend from my season be the Bachelorette and be constantly nervous because I want to protect her from getting her heart broken!

You know, the more I got to know Emily that season, the more I was sure that she would win Brad’s heart or be the Bachelorette!  It’s no surprise to me that she has now been both and I couldn’t imagine a more perfect person to get a second shot at love on this show.  Emily is a beautiful person, inside and out, and her and Ricki both need a wonderful addition to their already stunning family and I hope Emily finds that on this season!

It’s only about 5 minutes in and Ricki is already stealing the show!

Watching Emily’s journey through all of this makes me want her to get her happiness even more!

I love all of Emily’s southern-gal sayings!  Hearing “golly” (Urbandictionary says golly is the whitest word ever hahaha) and “put on your big girl panties” was really cracking me up!

I can’t wait to see what kind of guys they found for her!

Kalon.  I just can’t.  He is making this too easy!  At first he kind of reminded me of Ames Brown, but Ames is way too classy for any of this crap.  I will call him TMDN from now on, short for ToolMcDoucheNugget.

I actually think Ryan is pretty cute and he seems really nice but he said “GOOOOD” so many times in his preview that it was all I could think about!

Poor Tony!  I totally feel for his single Dad situation and he seems nice enough but then he had to go and make a horrible joke.  Y’all are competing for Emily dudes – where is y’all’s A-game?

Lerone seems like a strong, manly dude…that owns a little dog.  Weird.

I rewatched David’s intro at least 10 times because it was was just too unbelievable!  He says that song writing comes naturally, but then he belts out a song that consists of one word – EMILLLLLLLY! (Sidenote: I sang this song all night)  He also took some time to memorize his SAT vocabulary and said the following words: disparate, quintessence, and ineffable. He also reminds me of someone and I can’t put my finger on it.

I was going to make fun of Charlie’s quote at the end of his intro (how nothing is wrong with his heart) but my boyfriend thought this caption was much funnier and I have to agree.  Regardless, Charlie is like a big teddy bear and he seems so nice!

I’m on the fence about Jef at this point.  I want to like him but he spells his name with one f and he has a troubadour/rooster haircut.  However, he does run a non-profit and he seems to be a pretty passionate dude.

Arie is hot.  Like really hot.  Like so hot that I’m not even going to write about him, I’m just going to stare at this picture some more.

Seriously, how cute are these two?

I love that Emily wants a whole mini-van of kids!  Even when we were in the house, Emily told us that if she didn’t start a family soon she wanted to adopt so she could have more babies!  The girl is a mommy machine and has such a giving heart!

I was so glad when she said that she wanted to stop talking about her tragic past – I know it can’t be easy for her to relive her sad story so many times!  Let’s let the girl move forward please!

Emily closed her eyes and said a little prayer before the guys showed up – I’d like to pretend that she was really hoping that Bentley wouldn’t show up like everyone thought he would.

I was disappointed when David didn’t sing his song for Emily but he more than made up for it by asking a douchey question – “Who chose Charlotte?”  David, are you serious?  You wrote a song about the girl – don’t you know that she is from Charlotte?

Doug is up next and he wastes no time asking about Lil’ Ricki and telling Emily that he is a single dad himself.

Oh Jackson, you know what was worse than your pink shirt/magenta tie combo…

…Your lame quote.  I love that Emily really can’t hide her feelings towards these dudes!

Joe steps out of the limo and is a ball of energy!  I can’t stop laughing at his cheesy dance moves or how much he resembles James Van Der Beek.

Aaron definitely checked out Emily’s boobs after she told him that she failed Chemistry and Biology!  He also totally has a Richard Mathy type thing going on!

Ben Flajnik has a hair twin and his name is Alessandro.

I think I really like Jef.  He has this carefree attitude that I love and he also seemed so confident that it makes him more attractive!

Stevie. No. Bless your heart.

Tony went a bit too far with the whole fairy-tale analogy but I can appreciate the effort.  I just wish he had picked a hotter glass slipper.

Word to the wise:  If you want someone to be attracted to you, you probably shouldn’t dress up like an old woman.

Em isn’t even trying to hide her disgust anymore!

Things you never want to hear a guy say – “My friends call me Wolf.”  And what the heck is a data destruction specialist?

Travis was so nervous!  His voice kept squeaking, he was sweating so hard, and I can’t believe he didn’t drop the egg from all the shaking he was doing!  Bless his heart!

I’ve never seen a guy have a pouf before.  What the heck Ryan?  This is not gooooooood!

Also, he totally should have filled in that t more!

A guy arrives in a helicopter and I immediately think it’s going to be Bentley or Brad.  The guys have already decided that they don’t like him.

Turns out, it’s TMDN, and I’m already giving him an Emily O’Brien side-eye.  He seems totally insincere and keeps one hand in his pocket when he hugs Emily.

Joe can’t even remember if he introduced himself.  No need Joe, I’m only going to call you Dawson from now on.

Brent tells Emily that he has 6 kids and even she looks terrified.

I can’t decide if I like Chris or not.  He’s already being very vocal and competitive.

And his choices in bobble heads aren’t doing him any favors.

Even Emily is insulted.

Jef and Emily have some one-on-one time and Emily says that Jef makes her feel like a nerd and she hopes that he thinks she’s cool.  He totally thinks you’re cool Em – he was staring at you so intensely all night!

Kalon thinks that he makes great first impressions.  I throw up a little in my mouth.

Doug brings Emily a handwritten letter from his son and even I get a little teary-eyed.  Of course he gets the first impression rose, which also makes me a little sad for him – getting the FIR is like the kiss of death now.  He will not make it to the end.

Stevie, Stevie, Stevie.  Have you not learned anything from past seasons?  Don’t start drama on the first night!

Oh whatever… call him out dude – Helicopter Guy totally sucks.

Chris is pretty upset that he didn’t get the FIR.  Handwritten letters from kids > bobble heads that look nothing like you!

I can’t believe how serious this dude is being about the egg!  I love it!

Must have been a little humid in Charlotte because Alessandro’s hair lost all of its volume throughout the night!

Omg – David totally reminds me of a skinny Wes.  Too bad he never got to display his vocal and vocabulary skills for Emily – he would have gotten a rose for sure!

Randy was totally regretting his decision to dress up like a grandma by the end and of course he didn’t get a rose!

I care more about the egg than some of the guys at this point! Will he drop it?  Can you just keep an ostrich egg out like that?  Does it not have to be refrigerated?  Where in the heck did he even get it?

Poor Brent – he feels like true love might not be in the cards for him at his age with all those kids.  I really hope he’s wrong because this makes me really sad for him!  Hopefully, someone was watching last night that loves men in their 40s with 6 kids!

This picture doesn’t even need a caption.  I just love the placement of the – Created By Mike Fleiss – and I love that he loves himself this much!

So what did y’all think?  Who are you loving this season?  Were you surprised to see anyone go home?  Will Kalon be this season’s villain?

I personally love Arie, Ryan, and Doug!

Please head on over to http://www.saynotocosmo.com for more Bachelor/Bachelorette info, relationship questions, and more!

Excited to blog another season with y’all!