ASHLEY SPIVEY’S BACHELORETTE BLOG: EPISODE 2

After this episode, I have to confess that I have even more respect for Emily! I know that she made a very tough decision during this episode (I can’t even remember the last time someone sent home someone home this early on a 1-on-1). I also really like that more people got to see a sassy side of Emily in this episode!

However I have 2 complaints: There wasn’t enough Arie or the egg!!!

But I digress – let’s get to the 2nd magical episode of Emily’s journey!

Emily seemed super pumped to be going on her first 1-on-1 date of the season!

I loved the diversity in her “Girl Talk” group! I wonder if they feel like they can’t relate to Emily at all?

Can Nate talk? I’m serious. I’ve yet to hear him say anything! He’s like William on Bachelor Pad 2!

The first 1-on-1 date goes to Ryan, whose hair continues to mystify me. Is it a cowlick? Does he tease the back of his hair? Is it a Mohawk?

Emily is comparing Ryan to Brad. This isn’t good.

Emily decides to have Ryan spend a typical day with her by unloading groceries and making cookies for Ricki’s soccer team. He doesn’t seem too thrilled at first.

But he does try to be a good sport about it! He even dons Emily’s apron, which kinda freaks me out a little. Too far Ryan, too far.

Remember how on the first episode during Ryan’s intro – he said “GOOOOD” a lot? Now, I can only imagine him saying this over and over.

It worries me a little that Emily repeats this phrase multiple times during Ryan’s date. I think the chemistry may be lacking.

Gosh, I’m immature.

Ryan didn’t even laugh when Emily joked that they would be going to Chuck E. Cheese for the next part of the date. He also seemed really into that juice box and y’all know how I feel about guys drinking out of straws. Just don’t do it! Did y’all learn nothing from Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid, Love?

Try to hold your hands like this while you stand up. Do you feel as awkward as I do?

Emily takes Ryan to one of her favorite restaurants in Charlotte. Ryan proceeds to make a dumb comment.

Emily isn’t here to play games, dude! She has a daughter! Leave the competition on the football field!

Travis – what happened to carrying the egg around at all times and protecting it? Do you even know where it is? With all the buff dudes in the house – they are for sure using it to make an ostrich egg omelet for all the extra protein they need after their workouts!

It’s group date time and Kalon is excited to take the stage since he excelled at playing Pinocchio in a school play. (snicker)

Ryan backtracks a bit and makes Emily feel better but now she’s determined to make him work for it. I just love her.

Here we go with the conversation fillers.

Hehe.

The guys all show up to a theater in Charlotte where they will be performing with some special guests. I think at least half the guys thought it would be the Backstreet Boys and they dressed the part.

Alas, it was the Muppets. Alessandro could hardly contain his excitement!

Oh Tony. I really want to love you.

Charlie, who since the accident has had trouble speaking, is terrified of being on stage to perform comedy. He totally looks like he’s gonna vom.

I think Emily understands Charlie perfectly because she is usually pretty nervous to do the same types of things. Charlie gets out of comedy duty and has to sing instead. I would die if I had to do either!

Jef has to propose to Miss Piggy and I think he better practice that proposal some more!

Anyone else think Stevie looks like he’s plotting something when he smiles?

Emily is totally into Chris. I can tell by the way she flirts and looks at him!

Ditto with Jef! She keeps trying to get him to give her some reassuring comments but dude is playing it way cool.

Dawson (Joe) gets the next 1-on-1 date and he doesn’t seem as thrilled as he did when he first got out of the limo.

Once again – Emily has the worst poker face and you can tell she isn’t really into Stevie.

Kalon feels that the guys have different priorities than him. Probably because TMDN could never love Emily as much as he loves himself.

There is no way in hell that Emily is into him.

Not really, but I got really bored at this point of the episode and I had to start entertaining myself.

For the record, I think they both are pretty horrible. Stevie seems to like drama and Kalon likes providing the drama.

Jef ends up getting the group date rose because Emily says she can identify with his feelings at this point. I think she totally has a crush on him.

Jef seems to be oblivious to Emily’s budding feelings.

No really. He better start showing some interest soon!

Dawson gets the next 1-on-1 date and Emily flies him to one of her favorite childhood places – the Greenbrier in West Virginia. Dawson is a little underdressed.

Meanwhile, back at the mansion, TMDN is pissing all the house-dads off by using insensitive language and phrases. I guess maybe his parents put their lives on hold one too many times and never showed him how to be a human being.

I feel like Doug made some good points against TMDN but all I could focus on was him saying, “Check it.” Check what exactly? His ego? His baggage? The box that said “are you a douchebag” by his name?

The conversation and chemistry were definitely lacking on Dawson and Emily’s date. I can’t believe this is the same guy that got out of the limo with so much confidence and enthusiasm. I really think Emily just intimidates the heck out of him.

At dinner, Emily asks him some pretty tough questions but I felt like they were questions that Dawson should have realized how to answer – JUST IMAGINE YOUR LIFE 5 YEARS LATER WITH EMILY AND RICKI IN IT IDIOT! He kept on trying to reverse the questions on her – basically, he’s dumb.

After a while, you can see all the enthusiasm for the date, drain out of Emily’s face. The horrible poker face strikes again!

However, I totally respect her for knowing what she wants and knowing that Dawson isn’t it. She gave him enough chances during the day and night to show Emily that he wanted a life with her before they put their notes in the love clock. It was too little, too late for Joe.

I was a little surprised that he was so cold about the send off. I know it sucks to get dumped on national television but it helps to show some compassion dude. Emily was in tears because she felt badly and he couldn’t even give her a hug before he left? RUDE.

You know what else was RUDE? Shooting off those fireworks as Emily stood on the balcony – alone.

It’s cocktail party time and I can’t emphasize enough that this episode was severely lacking in the Arie department. Also, I’m pretty sure their handholding was the most action I’ve seen on the show yet!

I just can’t Alessandro! Why are you giving me so much material to work with? We need to give you a makeover. Also, do you have tanning bed glasses tan lines or just regular sunglasses tan lines? Regardless – it bothers me!

Tony decides that he hasn’t gotten any time with Emily, so he is going to steal her away from Ryan – who already has a rose BTW! Unfortunately for Tony, Ryan gives Emily a 7-page letter to read aloud as soon as Tony walks up. It is major awkward sauce.

So he waits awkwardly while Emily reads the short novel that Ryan prepared for her. On another creepy note – How the heck can you have 7 pages worth of stuff to say after 1 date? Leave some mystery about yourself Ryan so Emily wants to go on more dates with you so she can get to know you dude!

I admire Tony’s persistence, but at this point he just looks dumb. I would have gone back to the cocktail party and told Emily to please come find me when she finished the novel.

Did y’all even notice how small the writing was on Ryan’s letter? Geez dude – that was a little much for the short time you get with Em. Give her the letter and tell her to read it later!

Everyone in the house is getting tired of TMDN. Even Wolf wants to destroy all of Kalon’s data.

Even poor Charlie, who I’m pretty sure has the biggest heart ever, agrees that Kalon is a major ToolMcDoucheNugget.

Chris Harrison comes in to break up the party for the Rose Ceremony and I am a little perplexed by his shirt and tie combo. I like it better when he wears bold and bright colors.

At the end of the day, it was Kyle and Aaron (twinsies) that were sent packing. Both didn’t really contribute much so I won’t miss them but I am really surprised that she kept Stevie! Also, I totally need to learn how to draw better glasses.

So what did y’all think of this week’s episode? Thoughts on Ryan? Is Charlie in way over his head and his heart? Did Joe deserve to go home? Are y’all on Team Kalon or Team Stevie?

Remember to head on over to my blog http://www.saynotocosmo.com for more commentary on the Bachelor/Bachelorette world as well as my musings on relationships and why Cosmo is bad for you!

Also, every week I’m doing a vlog for realitynation.com called Spivey Says! I’ll give my thoughts immediately after every episode of the Bachelorette and answer any questions that y’all have about the show! Head on over and check it out!