ASHLEY SPIVEY’S BACHELORETTE BLOG: EPISODE 6

We have a lot of pictures to recap this week – so I’m not even gonna waste y’all’s time by talking! Let’s just get started!

So this week, Emily and the gang were in Croatia and Emily decided that this was the week that she needed to become more sure about people that she was unsure about.

 

 

Travis got the 1-on-1 date and I think it was pretty obvious that they weren’t going to have a lot of chemistry.  I mean, how can you love someone after they destroy the most perfect ostrich egg child ever???

 

 

It was over for me as soon as I saw him eat an ice cream cone!  Things guy should not do: eat ice cream cones, eat popsicles, drink out of straws, or…

 

 

dance like this!

 

 

Back at the house, Ryan wears the worst white tank top/sports bra hybrid that I have ever seen!

 

 

At the end of Emily and Travis’ date, I start noticing that she is looking down a lot and I realize that this is her tell!  Before she eliminates someone, it is hard for her to look at them!

 

 

So she basically tells him that there isn’t any romantic chemistry between them.

 

 

He acts like he’s surprised even though I’m pretty sure he could tell as well!

 

 

Ick – these two were the worst! (Matt and Shayne)

 

 

So they hug…

 

 

…and Travis throws his umbrella down so he can walk in the rain! WTF?

 

 

Then the man-tears start flowing!  Poor Travis!  He’s lost so much this season – Shelly, Emily and now his umbrella!  I really hope he finds love!

 

 

It’s group date time and Emily takes the boys to see the new Pixar movie Brave.

 

 

Then she informs them that they will be competing for her love in their own version of the Highland Games while wearing kilts.

 

 

Wolfie seriously made the best faces during this episode!  I wish we got to see more of him because he seems really funny!

 

 

Then the guys started changing into their competition attire and I started drooling…

 

 

YUMMY!

 

 

Every year there is one episode that features a lot of random street cats and I think it is so hilarious and random!  Remember after Blakely got eliminated on Ben’s season and after her exit they showed a lonely street cat walking the streets?

 

There were like 5 random street kitties in this episode!  WTF?

 

 

I just think Jef is the cutest and he makes the funniest expression and gestures when he is talking.  He does this gesture a lot – it’s like he’s holding Emily’s heart in his hand!

 

 

I’m sorry, but grown men riding donkeys makes me pee my pants a little!  They looked so funny and I couldn’t stop singing this song 69 Boyz -Let Me Ride That Donkey

 

 

I did think it was a little weird that they were doing more Scottish themed things while in Croatia but whatevs, I’ll go along with it.

 

 

Emily started off the competition and she was actually really good at archery!

 

 

Holy crap!  Doug’s arms are the most massive arms I have ever seen!  I didn’t even know you had that many muscles in your arms???

 

 

LOL.  Again – I just think Jef is the cutest thing ever.  I just want to pinch his cheeks every time we get to see him!

 

 

Sean, being the genetic gift that he is, was amazing at every competition!

 

 

Chris, on the other hand, was horrible and couldn’t even get the archery stance right!  I think he just feels super uncomfortable on camera!

 

 

Remember how bad Chris was at dancing?  Well, this was worse!

 

 

You know what he’s even worse at than archery – log throwing!

 

 

Jef was pretty bad at it too!

 

 

Sean, of course, was amazing at it and even broke the huge log!  The guys running the competition looked amazed!

 

 

Emily said she wasn’t impressed by big muscles but it was hard to deny that Sean’s strength turned her on!  Heck, it was even turning me on!

 

 

Up next was a competition where you basically had to play tug-of-war on with a stick and you could choose your opponent.  Chris decided to go up against Doug – what the heck was he smoking???

 

 

Emily looked as equally as baffled as to why he would pick the Hulk to go up against!

 

 

I think Chris realized too late that he was an idiot for going up against Doug.  He looks like he’s about to get his arms ripped off!

 

 

However, being the nurturer that she is, Emily decides to give the winner’s cup to Chris after the crushing defeat to his ego.  Some people might say that it’s because she likes him – I really think that she feels motherly towards him and wants to protect him, which isn’t very good for a romantic relationship!

 

 

Sean, who pretty much won every competition, looked super pissed that he didn’t get the pimp cup.  I don’t blame him – it was total BS that he didn’t get it!  You would think that because he got jipped out of the win, maybe he would get the group date rose…

 

 

Remember how I just said that Chris and Emily were lacking in the romantic connection department?  All you have to do is take a look at this kiss to confirm that I just said.  The kissey-face kiss is reserved for babies, kids, and people you aren’t in love with.

 

 

Speaking of bad kisses, whyyyyy are Sean and Emily’s kisses not up to par with Arie’s or even Jef’s?  Look, blondes aren’t even my type – but I’m more and more attracted to Sean every time I see him!  Y’all can do better than this!

 

 

When Arie pushed Emily up against the wall and planted one on her I swear my heart stopped beating for a second!  Here’s the thing: y’all keep on sending me stuff that supposedly he did with his friend’s girlfriend and blah blah blah and maybe he is an awful human being!  I have no idea.  All I can go on is what I see on the show and so far, I really do see the strongest connection between Arie and Emily!

 

 

Words are not even needed for this picture.

 

 

Back at the house, Ryan is preparing for his 1-on-1 date and he decides to wear some hideous shoes – I’m sure because they are Emily’s favorite color.  I can PROMISE you that Emily would NEVER date a guy that wore shoes like this!

 

 

Totally kidding :)  I love Jef and I think this was an adorable thing to do!

 

 

After Jef said this, I hopped aboard the #TeamJef train a little more.  I think that he is finally opening up and becoming more affectionate toward Emily – I just hope it’s not too late!

 

 

I know that a lot of people find Chris attractive and even Emily finds him super hot but I’ve got to say that he really doesn’t do it for me.  This talk they had kinda made my skin crawl and it made him look a little desperate.

 

 

Regardless of my feelings about Chris, Emily decides to give him the group date rose and Arie looked so sad.  Hell, I would have given him the rose after that wall-kiss!

 

 

I have no idea what Jef and Arie were looking at here but I just think they are adorable together.  It’s a little weird because I feel like they have the best connection with Emily but they also seem to be best friends!  Maybe if Emily doesn’t pick them they can become the first double Bachelors?

 

 

When Emily comes to pick Ryan up for their date, Arie and Jef both roll their eyes and smirk at Ryan’s cockiness and it gives me a great idea – They should totally have their own show!  (Thank you Andrea for the great show name :) )

 

 

While Emily is trapped in the tiny car with Ryan, you can totally see it on her face that she doesn’t really want to be on this date.  She keeps calling him rotten (which she claims means trouble) but I’m pretty sure it just means that he’s horrible at flirting or keeping someone attracted to him.

 

 

They go boating for oysters and I can’t tell what made Emily want to vom more – the slimy texture of the oyster or the slimy personality of Ryan.

 

 

Then they walk all around town where they encounter this scary old guy that was screaming at Emily and telling her that Ryan was no good for her!  Kidding.  Emily keeps on saying that she is seeing parts of Ryan that she likes but when someone says this, it mostly means that they don’t like a majority of your parts.  I think that Emily doesn’t want to give up on him because he seems so perfect for her on paper, but alas – Ryan will use that paper to later prove to her that he isn’t the right one for her.

 

 

Throughout the day and at dinner Ryan calls Emily a trophy wife or says trophy wife at least 5-6 times.  Has that bump-it damaged your brain, child? Why on earth would you keep on saying this to her when she obviously doesn’t like it?  Ok, maybe you mean it in a different way?  Then make up a new term for it! Dang!

 

 

Then Emily starts looking down… dun dun dun!

 

 

Then Ryan presents Emily with a list that he made that contains all the characteristics he wants in a wife.  It includes nothing about family except the part where Emily would be a servant of the family and put it before herself.

 

 

She basically stops looking at him even before he stops reading it.  She can’t bring herself to give him the rose.

 

 

But then he tries to talk her out of it because he is super manipulative and he is used to doing this sort of thing and getting what he wants.

 

 

Man, I love her.  She stands her ground, follows her heart, and sends him home.  It was amazing!

 

 

As much as Emily looked relieved to send Ryan home, the boys were ecstatic when someone came to pick up Ryan’s bags because he was going home.  Here’s the thing: I want to believe that Ryan is nice and great and he just wasn’t portrayed in the best light.  However, these dudes were super happy when he left and I don’t think it was because they viewed him as their biggest competition.

 

 

Arie decides to pay Emily a visit and they already look so darn comfortable with each other.  It looks like they have been dating for years!  He basically tells her that she made the right decision sending Ryan home because Ryan was in it more for the competition.  This makes Emily happy because Arie finally proves that he has her back.

 

Then they share some super hot kisses that only go on in the fantasy suite.

 

 

I mean, am I crazy?  I love Jef too and I think he is amazing but we aren’t seeing this type of connection with Jef!  Do y’all think the Arie-Cassie relationship reveal ruins their connection that much?

 

 

At the cocktail party, Wolfie finally opens up to Emily by showing that he carries around his dead grandparents funeral cards in his wallet and shares that his grandpa died on that exact day, years ago.  Emily, who is one of the most empathetic people you will ever meet, got tears in her eyes and admitted that she still finds days like that really hard.

 

 

Then they finally kiss because they share some common ground but it isn’t a fireworks-type of kiss at all.

 

 

Doug is a grown @$$ man!  Why won’t he make a move on Emily???  There is no way he moves this slow!

 

 

Emily takes control by putting his arm around her put his arm stays pretty motionless and his hand just lays there like a dead fish.  He doesn’t even try to cop a feel at all!  Emily is basically begging him to kiss her.

 

 

Then they get up and Doug goes to give her a hug!  I give up on you Doug!

 

 

Then Doug starts crying about his son but I think it’s also because he can’t find his balls anymore.

 

 

During the rose ceremony, Emily has one rose left and she is having trouble deciding whether to give Wolfie or Daddy Doug the rose!  She goes to talk to Chris Harrison and because she’s had no issue sending people home, we all think that she’s going to send them both home!

 

 

Alas, Emily decides to give them both a rose and their smiles just melted my heart!

 

 

I really think this is one of the sweetest and most surprising endings to the show that I have ever seen!

 

 

I’m guessing next week, we all find out about Arie and Cassie’s former relationship.  I had thought previously that Emily wouldn’t care that much but I think since no one told her up until this point – she is pissed!  That gives me the sads.

 

So what did y’all think of this episode?  Should Emily have kept Travis around?  Did you laugh when he threw the umbrella down?  Did you pee your pants when Chris finished last in every competition?  Did Sean deserve the pimp cup?  Did you fantasize about Arie?  Are you glad Ryan went home?  SO MANY QUESTIONS!

 

Remember to head on over to my blog http://www.saynotocosmo.com for more commentary on the Bachelor/Bachelorette world as well as my musings on relationships and why Cosmo is bad for you!

 

Also, every week I’m doing a blog for http://www.realitynation.com called Spivey Says!  I give my thoughts immediately after every episode of the Bachelorette and answer any questions y’all have about the show!  Head on over to check it out!