ASHLEY SPIVEY’S BACHELORETTE BLOG: MTA

I have to admit that I usually dread watching the Men Tell All.  Guys usually aren’t as catty as girls and they are all usually bros by this point so it’s not exactly a great recipe for exciting, entertaining tv.  However, on this season, I think there were enough clashes of huge personalities to make this Tell All exciting!  I actually really enjoyed this MTA!

 

 

The episode starts with a huge recap of the season, which I thought was pretty pointless because it’s not like it happened that long ago.

 

Then we get to see the insane Bachelor Pad 3 promo!  This season looks so crazy that I’m a little afraid to do a blog for it since I know some of the people that are going to be on there!

 

 

This knife scene is crazy – mostly because I was always looking for a sharp knife in the house and I could never find one when I was trying to cook!

 

 

Looks like there is going to be a pretty major Ed vs. Reid feud.  Whose team will y’all be on?

 

 

When Chris isn’t making out with people, he still looks angry.

 

 

What the heck is Fancy Jamie doing?  Didn’t she learn her sexy lesson last time?

 

 

I just love Michael!  I’m still a little confused about why he’s back though…

 

 

I just vomed in my mouth a little.

 

 

Blakeley seems to be crying a lot during this season.

 

 

I just don’t see me being a fan of the newbies.  I think ABC executed this concept poorly.  They should have had an equal number of super fans and alumni – the forced one alumni to partner up with a newbie.  That REALLY would have changed the game.

 

 

Erica Rose needs her own show for real.

 

 

That whole comment about the 3 girls you hooked up with in the BachPad house isn’t doing you any favors Chris.

 

 

Ok, back to the Men Tell All and I already can’t remember half of the guy’s names on the back row.

 

 

Ryan seems to have undergone a major makeover by losing the bump-it and then bathing in tub of dark orange spray paint.

 

 

Wolfie’s pink pants definitely stole the show – even though I have to admit that I thought they were going to be pinker.

 

 

Poor Charlie – he was eliminated way too soon and then he only got to utter 2 sentences on the MTA.  Bless his heart.

 

 

I feel like DJStevie just wears his DJ outfit everyday.  I wish he had his boombox with him on stage.

 

 

Everyone of course, starts going after Kalon because he is the major douche of the hour.  Kalon tries to claim that Chris and Tony are his friends, because of Bachelor Pad no doubt.

 

 

But they don’t seem to be sticking up for him very much or acknowledging that they are friends.

 

 

I have a feeling that Chris really doesn’t like Kalon (like the rest of the world).

 

 

This picture is amazing!

 

 

Then the MTA basically becomes an EHK – Everyone Hates Kalon.  He pretty much seems unapologetic about everything.  I think he’s just a dude that gets off by offending people and then claiming that people don’t get his sense of humor.  We get it alright – it’s just that your sense of humor sucks a big one.

 

 

Seriously, does Kalon wear lipgloss or did he get his lips plumped to the point that they are pulled so tight that they are shiny?

 

 

By the end of Kalon’s hotseat time, I’m wishing that people would start throwing suitcases at him or someone would fly a toy helicopter into his head.

 

 

We agree Dawson, we agree!

 

 

Then it was Ryan’s time in the hotseat and I was fully prepared to roll my eyes the whole time.  Just watching him smile and laugh at himself was vom-inducing.

 

 

I have to admit that I’m missing the bump-it.  That Charleston-style comb-over ages Ryan about 10 years.  (Thanks Courtney)

 

 

However, Ryan was really cracking me up during the MTA.  Then only person that didn’t seem to be buying it was Chris.  (And Arie and Jef if you read their live-tweets during this episode.)

 

 

Ryan brings up a good point and says that he never said he was better than anyone else but Chris sure did.

 

 

I think Chris forgot that he said that.  I think Chris had too many shots of angry whiskey backstage.

 

 

Dawson’s expressions are amazing.  Dawson’s hair is so pretty.

 

 

Wolfie interrupts the manclaws to direct the attention back to pink pants.

 

 

But Harrison warns Ryan that Chris is trying to kill him with his lifeless eyes.

 

 

Ahhhhhh! Scary!

 

 

I’ll be the first to admit that Ryan is a little full of it and his head might be the size of Texas, but he was right to point out that Chris’ jabs were due to insecurity.   Chris, just let it go – maybe you don’t like Ryan but it’s better to remain calm during these things.  Chris reminded me a lot of Jackie during our WTA.  Jackie was so fired up that I looked at her at one point and said, “You know that we’re on tv right?”

 

 

I love that Ryan took the MTA as an opportunity to make people think differently about him.  Most people thought that he was an arrogant @$$ after his elimination and by the end of last night, I saw a lot of people on twitter agreeing that he would be a hilarious Bachelor choice.  Don’t complain about your “edit” or stay angry about things that happened – show people your true personality!

 

 

There’s really no point to this picture except that I wanted to draw a headband on Michael because it doesn’t seem right to see him without one.  And I really, really wanted to hear Nate say quinoa one last time.

 

 

Y’all!  What is wrong with Alessandro?  Does nobody tell the Gypsy King what to wear?

 

 

It’s Chris’ turn in the hotseat and I have to divert my eyes immediately because he starts liking his lips.

 

 

I was going to comment on how this girl is so obviously into Chris and just completely ignoring her boyfriend but then I realized that I’ve never seen a guy at the MTA before!

 

 

Chris tells everyone how hard getting eliminated was and that he only comes off angry because he really, really means what he says.  Whatever the heck that means.  Then, I think he gets emotional because a friend died recently and that’s what prompted him to say that you should tell people how you feel when you feel it because you might not be able to.  If Chris is going through a grieving period, this could definitely explain the mood swings and angry behavior.

 

 

Still, I’m just not buying the whole “I was so, so sad” thing because it looks like he cleaned up in the Bachelor Pad house.

 

 

Sean is like the Justin Bieber for women over 25.  I haven’t seen this many girls lose their $h!t like this since the glory days of boybands.

 

 

Sean relives how sad and torn up he was about Emily eliminating him.

 

 

But now he seems ok – probably because he knows that he has a good chance of possibly becoming the next Bachelor.

 

 

Seriously, even if Sean isn’t the next Bachelor – every woman in America is picturing him after they read 50 Shades of Gray.

 

 

You could practically hear the biological clocks ticking while Sean was talking.

 

 

Dear lord, I really hope he can hear after all that.

 

 

Then Emily comes out and looks amazing.  So amazing that Tony comes up and gives her a hug, which was a little weird.

 

 

I seriously love Emily’s natural makeup look and straight hair!

 

 

Chris thanks Emily for making him believe in love again but I still am a little freaked out by his intensity.

 

 

I think Emily is thinking (in the words of Brad Womack) – “I think I dodged a bullet with that one.”

 

 

Then she ribs Doug a little for one of the most awkward kisses ever.

 

 

I have to admit that I wish we would have gotten to see this Doug more during the season – he seems really funny and lighthearted.  I think maybe he was too aware of how he would be perceived on camera the first time around.

 

 

ToolMcDoucheNugget tries to apologize to Emily.

 

 

But she isn’t buying it because he sent some pretty rude tweets out last week where he basically said Emily had baggage again.

 

 

I just love the audience’s reactions sometimes!

 

 

Kalon didn’t have any comebacks to the twitter comments because he can only memorize 20 lines at a time.  So he mutters, “I’m honored you follow me on twitter.”

 

Actually, she didn’t say that she followed you.  Everyone probably alerted her that you were making douchey comments you @$$.

 

 

I’m just glad that she put him in his place and everyone got to see that Emily doesn’t put up with crap.  Call her whatever you want, but the girl isn’t dumb and knows when someone isn’t genuine.

 

 

Then her and Ryan chat a little and he does that creepy wink again.  Ryan, please don’t do this.  It isn’t cute.

 

 

Then it’s blooper time!  I have to say that I didn’t think the bloopers were long enough this year!

 

Oh Alessandro – if only you could have gotten in the hotseat!

 

And that was pretty much it – they recapped Emily’s relationships with Arie and Jef and then we got a preview of the finale that pretty much told us nothing!  I don’t know about y’all but I’m pretty excited for the live AFTR and I hear that there are some good surprises!

 

So what did y’all think of the MTA?  Do you despise Kalon as much as me?  Did you change your opinion of Ryan?  Is Chris a little scary?  Will Sean be the next Bachelor?

 

Remember to head on over to my blog for more commentary on the Bachelor/Bachelorette world as well as my musings on relationships and why Cosmo is bad for you!

 

Also, every week I’m doing a blog for RealityNation.com called Spivey Says!  I give my thoughts immediately after every episode of the Bachelorette and answer any questions y’all have about the show so be sure to send me some questions on twitter – @ashleyspivey!  Head on over to check it out!

 

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