Ashley Spivey’s Blog: Episode 5

Seriously. I give up.

No, don’t worry, I’m not going to stop blogging for this season but I think I’m done with trying to defend Ben and his decisions or find a way to see a love story unfolding. Ben is no longer thinking with the head on his shoulders y’all!

It actually reminds me of a conversation that I had with Ashley while her season was airing. I know this is hard to believe, but I never once asked her who she picked and she never told me whether it was Ben or J.P. As we were sitting in Starbucks one day, I told her that I hoped it was J.P. because he was a real man. Ben seemed to me, as more of a boy who was trying to figure out how to be man. I don’t say this in a mean way. I think that Ben is still having fun and trying to figure out his life. Until he becomes a man, he will continue to think with the head below his belt. Ok, my little rant is over!

Ben and the ladies headed to Puerto Rico this week!

And bless Ben’s heart because his hair just isn’t doing well in the humidity!

Chris Harrison tells everyone that they will all be getting dates this week and I almost spit my dinner out when I saw the shirt that Courtney was wearing. Ohhhh the irony!

Courtney wants to remind us that she has put Emily on her permanent $h!t list.

Nicki gets the first 1-on-1 date and I laugh when she lets the camera film her straightening her hair. I put my hair up just like this when I straighten it but I would never let America see this! I like this about Nicki though – she’s naturally pretty and even looks great after the rain soaks them on their date!

Ben plays the role of tour guide when he takes Nicki on a helicopter tour of Puerto Rico. He uses great descriptive words like “RAD” to describe the beauty of the country.

After a torrential downpour ruins their hair and their plans, Nicki and Ben decide to buy traditional clothes to wear. Ben says his look has Columbian influences – I think he is confused about which country he is in.

I think Nicki meant to say here that Ben looked, “muy muy muy caliente.” She is most certainly lying and hasn’t taken a day of Spanish in her life.

Their day date goes pretty well and Nicki decides to open up to Ben about her former marriage and subsequent divorce.


Ben looks mostly bored and terrified during their talk about marriage but I can hardly pay attention because I’m distracted by the frizziness of his hair. Nicki doesn’t seem to mind because she keeps on calling Ben “the man of her dreams.”

Back at the house, Elyse and Blakeley are arguing over who deserves the 1-on-1 date more. I wish that Jaime would participate in this discussion! Why aren’t we seeing more of her, she seems so nice! Elyse ends up getting the date!

Ben decides to give Nicki the rose and he likes her well enough that he kisses her with an open mouth!

On the group date, the girls battle each other in baseball to get a second part of the night with Ben. Blakeley shows us that her big ol’ boobies do not prevent her from being kicka$$ at sports. She actually really impressed me during this game!

The devil makes a mean comment about Blakeley’s athleticism.

The blue team ends up losing after a close game and Blakeley is sad because she really needed the alone time with Ben.

Kacie B. continues to be adorable and she ends up getting the group date rose but alas, Ben is still not giving her any tongue. I see also that she is not even bothering to straighten her hair in this humidity. Ben should take a lesson from her on embracing your hair’s natural texture.

I notice on the group date that Courtney makes this face after she says something mean. Her words must smell as bad as her soul.

Elyse keeps reassuring us and Ben that she has given up SO MUCH to be here. Rule #1 of romance reality shows: never ever give up your job to be here. The odds are against you!

Courtney doesn’t think that Elyse will be coming home from her date.

After Ben and Elyse don’t touch or kiss for the entirety of their day date I think it’s a sure thing that he is going to send her home.

Ben is being pretty argumentative with Elyse over dinner. He is really hanging on every little comment she made and it’s pretty obvious that he is just looking for reasons to send her home. He also responds to almost every question with “yea” or “mmmmhmmm” and avoids eye contact a lot!

You can practically see the wheels turning in his head…

He picks up the rose but then tells Elyse that he will not be giving it to her. OUCH!

Elyse seems to think that it was something that she did that made Ben send her home. Instead of being brutally honest with her like he was for most of the date, he opts to sugar coat things. This infuriates me because he got so mad at Ashley for this same exact thing.

Dang. It must really suck to get sent home in a dinghy.

Elyse should have known that she was going home when Ben wore this ridiculous outfit to their dinner date. If a guy is trying to impress you, he does not wear man capris.

Courtney decides that it’s time to take Ben skinny-dipping.

The devil shows no remorse after Elyse’s bags are taken out of the cabana; instead she makes a comment about how she probably revealed the Jersey side of herself. She decides that now is the time to launch her evil plan. Muhahahahahahhahahah!

Maybe Ben was drunk? Maybe Ben was sexually frustrated? Regardless, he completely disrespects all the other girls and goes skinny-dipping with Courtney. Do they not care what their families think? My Mom would disown me!

At this point I think I have lost all respect for Ben and I think it’s pretty obvious that he wants Courtney to be the final one. If in fact he did choose someone else, there is NO WAY that they are ok with this. I would feel so utterly disrespected if I was engaged to Ben and I watched him doing this with another girl. I just feel bad for the rest of Ben’s girls.

During the cocktail party, Blakeley really opens up to Ben and he responds by opening up his mouth and planting one on her. I think maybe I’m giving up my theory here because I think he is only open-mouth kissing people he is sexually attracted to. Ben is just making me so sad.

Emily starts out apologizing to Ben for the Courtney talk last week but then she goes and starts dissing Courtney again. Ben cannot hide his disgust – it is written all over his face. He even tells Emily to, “Be careful and tread lightly.” I was hoping that Emily would just get up and kick sand in his face. No guy should talk to you like that or not be open to hearing you show concern.

Ben ends up torturing Emily again by giving her the last rose and I’m so completely surprised for a minute that he doesn’t give the rose to Jennifer. However, I think that Ben saw how invested Jennifer’s feelings were and he couldn’t allow her to get any more hurt. I think that he respected Jennifer enough not to lead her on, no matter how good of a kisser she was. Though he is disgusted with Emily for putting down his girl, he is going to keep her around for drama.

Jennifer – You are such a pretty, smart, and wonderful girl! I know that you are going to find someone way better and I’m glad that you were eliminated when you were. Your hiccup-cries completely broke my heart but I just know that there is someone out there that isn’t thinking with their other head and will treat you like you deserve to be treated!

So what did y’all think of this episode? Are you as appalled by Ben’s actions as I am? Isn’t it so obvious that he has made up his mind? Also, can you go skinny dipping without getting busy?