Ashley Spivey’s Blog: Episode 7

Raise your hand if you’re finding it hard to find reasons to defend Ben this season. (Raising hand.) Dear lord I can’t wait for the WTA and After the Final Rose! I think this was maybe the most boring episode of the season, though you won’t be able to tell from this recap, which clocks in at 59 pictures.

Oh yeah, Ben and the ladies were in Belize this week…

I think they left the show’s stylist back in Panama.

Lindzi gets the first one-on-one date and we learn that Ben isn’t a total idiot.

Nicki has the sads because she really wanted the one-on-one and she’s surprised how real her feelings are at this point.

I think Linzi is absolutely gorgeous and her tan now matches her foundation but even I get frustrated by her hair always being in her eyes.

Emily is jealous of the date as well and compares Ben to a piece of cheesecake in swim trunks. I hate cheesecake.

I think that Ben is super attracted to Lindzi and I feel like he’s always touching her but I don’t really ever get a sense of their chemistry through their conversations.

Ben always talks about love being a slow burn. This could only apply to Lindzi because I think he’s been really into to Courtney from the beginning.

They see some pretty awesome sights on the date…

Ben really wants Lindzi to open up on this date. The perfect way to get her to do this is by displaying sexy behavior like this!

To replicate the feeling of falling in love, Ben has arranged for them to jump out of a helicopter. Lindzi is terrified.

Even though it really wasn’t that big of a leap…

While Ben and Lindzi may be lacking in the conversational department, they make up for it with some pretty steamy kisses.

Bless her heart…

…and her feet. The date goes well and Lindzi totally wants Ben to come home with her and meet her parents.

Emily gets the next one-on-one date and Ben thought that this would be a cute way to greet her when her plane arrived.

“Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you’re trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don’t kiss them at all? It’s very difficult trying to read the situation.” – Wedding Crashers quote.

Emily and Ben lack the chemistry he shares with Courtney and Lindzi but they do fun things around the island. They ride bikes, they play basketball, they catch lobsters – you know, fun things you would do with your friends!

Courtney is just so upset that Ben would take Emily on a one-on-one date after she talked crap about Courtney. She doesn’t feel like Ben is in her corner and she is seriously contemplating not bringing Ben home. I’m just amazed she can cry.

Emily decides to take matters into her own hands and she gives Ben a formal invitation to come home and meet her family. It’s pretty obvious that Ben will not be accepting this invitation. Ben should never go into acting.

Another one-on-one date card arrives and Courtney unveils her new favorite catchphrase – “Oh snap!”
She gets the date and is very proud of Ben for listening. There is some major eye rolling in the room when she talks.

Kacie can’t control her disgust anymore when it comes to the devil. While I don’t endorse physical violence of any kind, it is kinda cute to see Kacie get so worked up. It’s like when a kitten gets feisty.

Courtney leaves for the date and even when she isn’t around the girls she can’t help but make mean comments.

While Courtney is on her date, Kacie and Nicki (gosh darn it why can’t everyone spell their name in a normal way on this show) tell Emily that she was completely right about Courtney from the beginning. I wish everyone had told Ben about the devil before now, I think it might be too late for Emily.

Ben takes Courtney to some Mayan ruins and she seems pretty excited about setting up the picnic where human sacrifices might have taken place. She also unloads all of her negative feelings to Ben and makes him fight to keep her there. This is basically the gist of their conversation…

Courtney thinks they have found the spark again. I would have preferred it if she said “reignited the spark.”

As much crap as I give the two of them, I have to admit that they can be really cute together. I really liked the scene between them where he told her that he felt really close to his Dad during moments like this. I do think that he feels really comfortable around her for whatever reason.

During dinner, things get a little awkward.

Courtney isn’t worried though.

Ever wonder why some girls pat or touch the top of their head a lot? It’s because they have extensions in their hair and the base of the extension can be kind of itchy. Instead of scratching it, they touch it constantly like Courtney does in pretty much every scene.

Her communication skills have improved but Rachel still makes this face when she is uncomfortable in a situation. I bet she’s not too psyched to go on a date with Kacie and Nicki – two of Ben’s favorites.

Lindzi isn’t a lady of many words but her shirt is saying it all…

Ben starts to question Courtney about why she isn’t getting along with the girls in the house.

Her answer should be a huge red flag to Ben but it isn’t. He says he’s afraid of picking someone that people won’t like – this is a huge understatement.

Ben surprises the girls that are going on the group date with an early morning wakeup call. I love that these girls let the cameras film them shaving their pits and bikini lines – shameless and amazing!

The perils of dude’s using straightening irons on their hair…

Ben decided to take the girls to swim with the sharks. This screenshot cracks me up!
Rachel was less than thrilled because she is terrified of sharks…

Little did she know that the sharks that they would be swimming with are basically the kittens of the sea. Nurse sharks are slow-moving bottom-dwellers and are, for the most part, harmless to humans. They will only bite if you step on them or disturb them. (Thanks National Geographic!)

After the not-at-all dangerous swim, Nicki professes to Ben that she is falling in love with him. He can hardly control his emotions.

Nicki on the other hand is so excited about her love for Ben that she starts telling the palm tress, seashells and the ocean. I think everyone is slowly starting to go crazy.

Ben and Kacie continue to have the make-out habits of 6th graders.

Kacie professes her feelings of love to Ben and at this point he is so overcome with emotion that he cocks an eyebrow. Gosh Ben is so swoon-worthy.

Courtney isn’t worried about Kacie because she claims that Kacie has a little boy body. I don’t know what kind of little boys Courtney knows but I think Kacie has an amazing body. If the Bachelor were ANYBODY else Courtney wouldn’t even be here anymore!

The girls on the group date, mainly Kacie and Nicki, decide to have a talk with Ben and tell him to be careful of Courtney. Rachel doesn’t say much – SHOCKER. Ben is starting to have some serious doubts about Courtney. (Not really.)

Before the cocktail party, the girls talk about the sober mood. Courtney further isolates herself by not partaking in the conversation and by trying to be overly cheerful.

She mostly just says really awkward things and comments to upset the girls. Then she makes a true statement about Ben not being the only guy in the world – but this is the wrong thing to say on this show. Honey, he’s the only one on this show and two girls are leaving that deserved love a whole hell of a lot more than you.

Emily can hardly contain the side-eyes and faces during Courtney’s ridiculous comments. I sure am going to miss these faces. Who will give me great material now?

I wonder if Courtney has this much trouble connecting with girls in the real world or if she really is just trying to mind-eff all the girls on the show. Regardless, she tries pretty hard to make this conversation very uncomfortable.

I just can’t even comment on her anymore! She’s so ridiculous! Maybe she was drunk at this point?

Chris Harrison comes in and informs the girls that there will be no cocktail party tonight. Rachel pretty much knows that she is going home.

Courtney isn’t worried at all and re-enacts a scene from The Exorcist.

I think Emily and Rachel knew that they were going home as soon as Ben pulled Courtney to the side during the Rose Ceremony.

Why don’t Ben and Chris talk anymore before the Rose Ceremonies? I feel like the Rose master might have some words of wisdom like this?

Of course Courtney ends up getting a rose and Emily and Rachel are sent home. This little look Courtney gives Emily before she leaves pretty much solidifies that she doesn’t have a heart.

Rachel – call me! We both live in New York and I’m sure we can find you someone!

Emily – I have no doubts that you are going to find someone better after the show! Everyone thinks you are gorgeous and you are smart and funny too! Someone out there will appreciate your inner-gangster, your love for anti-bacterial liquids, and disgust for mean model chicks.

So what did y’all think of the episode? Are you surprised that Emily and Rachel went home? How do you think the hometown dates are gonna go? How hilarious were all of Courtney’s faces this week?


  1. BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ashley you had me cracking up!! C+B=FAIL …

    Maybe Ames and Emily can hook up??!!

    Rachel should hook up with Reid!!

    Get to it Ash!! ;)

    Comment by SamF — February 16, 2012 @ 2:39 pm

  2. Your blogs are hilarious!!
    I have to say that Courtney’s behavior right before the cocktail party was so hard to watch. It was almost scary…I’m not joking. I don’t think I have ever witnessed someone act like that before. There has got to be some hidden insecurities or something behind all that weird behavior.

    Can you imagine if she would have acted like a decent human being on the show and with her looks…well her phone would be ringing off the hook with modeling gigs. I wonder now if her career has been tarnished a bit from all the negativity she’s getting in the media.

    But anyway…my favorite was Rachel. I loved her personality and she was so cute. But, I think she’s better off now.
    Thanks Ashley…

    Comment by Bitzy — February 16, 2012 @ 2:46 pm

  3. Ashley, I think you have a future career as a body language specialist. You see EVERYTHING! Great job!

    Hahaha! I love “The Help” reference for Emily’s departure. You iz smart. ;)

    Comment by Paula — February 16, 2012 @ 3:11 pm

  4. Girl, you are killing me! I am doubled over laughing! Keep it up!

    Comment by Carol — February 16, 2012 @ 3:28 pm

  5. Hilarious blog. I always look forward to them!

    Comment by V. — February 16, 2012 @ 3:30 pm

  6. love your blog! Can’t stop laughing. Ben is so ugly,I’d rather watch paint dry then him on my TV. The pictures on your blog just crack me up! Thanks. I think Ben and Courtney are perfectly suited for each other, weird is an understatement.

    Comment by Melissa — February 16, 2012 @ 3:36 pm

  7. Your blog is my favorite! You made me laugh so hard! Thank you!

    Comment by Amber — February 16, 2012 @ 3:52 pm

  8. I really enjoy reading your thoughts and comments along with the comic sayings on the pictures!

    This show has become such a joke and I will be so happy when it is over.

    I wanted so bad to see one of the girls get it but to tell you the truth….after seeing how Ben acts….I want better for them.

    I don’t think he is ready to settle down into a relationship and is here to boost his business which seems to be doing rather well if you read his tweets and comments here and there. I am sure he is enjoying the lime light of running all over the air ports doing this and that. awwwwwwwwwwww the excitement of it all! Well, good for him.

    As for Courtney, I can not stand her selfish heart and there is no reason for her to make the comments she makes. Anxious to see her parents who raised her to be like this. Sad, so sad. But, she now cast boost her career into porn and she will be good at that…so she shows us all.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Wishing the both of you and J.R. happiness and proserity in your travels together.

    Comment by Janis — February 16, 2012 @ 4:25 pm

  9. hahahahahaha spot-on! AGAIN! you crack me up!!!
    short & sweet screenshots/captions/comments.
    … and the hair extensions… ohhhhhhh yeeeeeeaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahaha

    Comment by FJ — February 16, 2012 @ 4:42 pm

  10. Love love love this!!!!

    Comment by Jade — February 16, 2012 @ 4:42 pm

  11. Ben’s cream dream

    Comment by john — February 16, 2012 @ 5:51 pm

  12. I think you are an ass. who are you (besides a girl that acted so pathetic ) to be putting anyone down? I hate how you mock Ben and everything about him. Your so called best friend was all over him till the end, claiming it was always JP. Did you ask her why she had to always touch him and have him touch her. You are so lucky nobody did one of these when you were on. Did you actually watch and even worse listen to yourself. Ben is so comfident and self assured. You were a whiny sad little girl. Grow up and stop putting him down.

    Comment by Deb — February 16, 2012 @ 6:55 pm

  13. It’s a good thing you decided to become a babysitter because your maturity level is very low, as I would imagine your IQ is, as well.

    Comment by Ash seems manic — February 16, 2012 @ 7:05 pm

  14. I think nastiness is very unattractive and Courtney has a lot of company in this department. All the “blogs” and comments spewing hate and making fun of Ben and Courtney are not just in poor taste – they are unkind which is just what everyone seems to be most offended by in their references to Courtney. The cheap shots are not even remotely funny. Shame on you!

    Comment by les — February 16, 2012 @ 7:45 pm

  15. U iz the bestest blog around ya’ll….sheut….I luvs me emily. dang it. shit balls…
    She iz better den Ben.

    Comment by Elizabeth — February 16, 2012 @ 8:49 pm

  16. Deb…You don’t seem very “comfident” in yourself. RAGER! You seem to be in with drawl of your mental medication.

    Comment by Hi — February 16, 2012 @ 10:51 pm

  17. Loved the blog! Always makes me laugh!

    Comment by Kristin — February 16, 2012 @ 11:31 pm

  18. Love the photos…you’re seriously talented! LOL

    Comment by Chris — February 17, 2012 @ 5:29 am

  19. I am stunned that Ben would choose Courtney over Emily. Emily is brilliant and beautiful while Courtney is surprisingly selfish. What is wrong with Ben?

    Comment by Steve — February 17, 2012 @ 7:15 am

  20. I am obsessed with your blog! The Ben photos with the effed up hair and excessive sweating are classic! Not sure what is up with these haters – geesh…

    Although it makes me gag a little, I do think that Courtney and Ben have some sort of connection. He was right – they are both a little off. Except for Nicki, the rest of the girls seem totally cool and normal, so definitely not good matches for weirdo Benny Boy.

    Comment by jddeuce — February 17, 2012 @ 10:02 am

  21. Well as a gay man..I can tell you AMes is NOT strait! No way..he is very gay or Bi..just aint came out yet. As a bachelor..Ames?? LOL maybe gay bachelor..He wont suit Emily cause he is gay or has gay tendencies..nuff said

    Comment by openly — February 17, 2012 @ 10:06 am

  22. BTW quit putting Ben down he is OK..just a man..leave him some room! YOU AINT GODS GIFT TO MEN BY NO MEANS..AND THIS IS FROM AN OPENLY GAY MAN! Leave him some space…this is real life and his life…you found your love Ben has not..give him some slack

    Comment by openly — February 17, 2012 @ 10:17 am

  23. You catch so many things, Ash! I thought the same thing about Ben’s tank top, and the shot of his “munechas debulas” (weak wrists in Spanish) CRACKED me up!! Hahahah!

    I noted the “friend” hug between him and Emily as well. To me, their date lacked a lot of the passion you see him have for Courtney, and was more like him hanging out with a friend all day…that he kissed a lot…cause that’s what he does.

    The screen shots of his conversation with Courtney “We iz weird, OMG yeah we iz!”—sooooo funny!

    And I also noticed the lack of response he had to the girl confessing their love to him. I don’t think it even registered for him with Nicki, and then it’s like he slightly tuned in to Kacie B and was like, “Ohhhh really?”…then kissed her closed mouth. So weird.

    Love your stuff, girl–keep on blogging!

    Comment by Beth — February 17, 2012 @ 10:41 am

  24. It just shows how men are better influenced with sex rather than substance. They would rather gravitate towards skinny dipping, bare nipples, and night time bikini swims than a female with intellect who knows her worth and doesn’t throw herself around. I think this show is creating a congragation of men who now know just what to say and do to mess with a woman’s head. Ben is definitely less attractive bc he can’t see the unctuous nature of Courtney.

    Comment by Jess E Laine — February 17, 2012 @ 10:45 am

  25. How I agree with you when you say that this is becoming boring, Ben and Courtney going on and on, it remind me of the other Ashley H and Bentley. It’s simply the same over and over… I don’t follow the story anymore and don’t even see re-run on my computer… Your blok is the only saving this bachelor, it’s funny… Have you noticed that it seem as if you and Ashley H. are getting mixed up, guess other people is finding the whole thing boring….

    Comment by Lis — February 17, 2012 @ 10:45 am

  26. Come to think of this whole mess, I bet that Ben is laughing, he has a good sense of humor. Sorry for the beautiful women to be part of this specially KacieB and Emely….

    Comment by Lis — February 17, 2012 @ 10:56 am

  27. Too many screen shots but entertaining just the same. I’m with you… let’s just get to the WTA and After the Final Rose already !!!!!!

    Comment by Reality_bites — February 17, 2012 @ 5:49 pm

  28. Love your blog!
    You needed one more picture about Courtney’s poor little feet in flip flops climbing all the way up those steps. Did anyone else notice?

    Comment by Paula — February 17, 2012 @ 6:15 pm

  29. I LOVE Emily! I think she should be the next Bachelorette! Ben is a complete Douche and deserves the likes of Courtenay

    Comment by Rachie — February 17, 2012 @ 6:46 pm

  30. Very funny Ashley. However I truly hope Ben and Courtney end up together and live happily ever after. That would be hilarious. Something about them seems to fit :) He fell for her so hard during filming, I hope that he stays a strong man for her during this difficult time. I heard rumors of their breakup, which does not make him look good at all. I think it’s a dilemma for him right now hehe. Either he has to be stuck with her or he has to let go of her. Both scenarios look pretty bad.

    Comment by Pam — February 17, 2012 @ 8:33 pm

  31. I’m thrilled that Emily is gone; this season would have gone much better if she had been sent home 2 episodes earlier. Emily is clueless and immature, and her desire to share her “intelligence and insights” with others is not only misguided but destructive.

    I guess no one caught the irony of Emily proclaiming that she can’t stand when people don’t see someone’s true colours (ie., Ben can’t see Courtney for who she is) while she, Emily, was busy having her roots bleached.

    Really now.

    You should notice that the biggest hate-Courtney instigators (which started in earnest in Utah) were the ones who were the most inept with Ben — namely, Elyse, Emily and the chick who embarrassed herself by sitting in Ben’s lap and giving him kissing directions.

    There’s lots that happens which we don’t see, and although Courtney has said some things which people react to strongly, context is everything.

    The Bachelor process is an extremely difficult one for people who actually have made a connection. It’s unnatural to constantly be inserting other sexual rivals and trying out the chemistry; then, to not be able to behave naturally, but have to hide the relationship until the series airs… add to that all the criticism from the peanut gallery, which has no clue but thinks they do, well, no wonder few Bachelor couples every survive.

    Courtney is unconventional and quirky, so is Ben. They deserve a chance to see if their obvious passion and chemistry can make it to the long haul.

    I’m appalled by the meanness of all the commentary. Folks, Courtney has nothing on you. Shame.

    Comment by Romy — February 18, 2012 @ 9:15 am

  32. It’s a shame ~ Ben is definitely thinking with his “other” head ~ I won’t feel sorry for him this time !

    Comment by Terry — February 18, 2012 @ 11:48 am

  33. Just the last bit on the spider made me like Courtney a lot more. She seems so strange that girl. Any other chick would have probs freaked out and ran. Seriously…I think everyone shld just cut her some slack. Just seems like all these girls are saying bad stuff about everyone anyway, why is Courtney being singled out? I mean Emily was saying mean things about the grandma on night one even!

    Comment by Riper — February 19, 2012 @ 12:00 pm

  34. C’mon people….quit hating on Ben and Courtney. They obviously have a huge connection with one another and seem to care about each other. Also, all these mean comments about Courtney…give her a break, she is definitely not the only girl that was talking bad.
    What a shame to read all the hate in here. I truly hope these two can make it but with all this negativity in the media…I just don’t know if they will be able to. So sad.

    Comment by Dianne — February 19, 2012 @ 4:32 pm

  35. Ben’s Cream

    Comment by Nick — February 20, 2012 @ 7:38 am

  36. Ben is a complete idiot. Courtney is pure trash and coms across as evil. Emily is worth a thousand of both of them. Ben obviously choses Courtney in the end. They deserve eachother. It won’t last more than a few weeks or months. What a foolish yong man to think with that between his legs rather than his heart and his brain. This seasons show shows it for what is is–a fake reality show with no genuinity at all.

    Comment by jan — February 20, 2012 @ 11:46 am

  37. Once again the bully is at it again. Aashley makes blogs making fun of people but can’t take the heat. Look at her twitter account from last night. point made pizza face.

    Comment by ashleyisanidiot — February 21, 2012 @ 6:45 am

  38. Ashley I just ran across your blog and I love it! Pretty spot on to what I think too, you just say it in a way to make me snort and spit my drink out! Thanks for the laughs!

    Comment by Ari — February 21, 2012 @ 10:28 am

  39. i think bens sister needs to take a shot at these girls. she was good with ashley. courney was losing cause the girls were ratting on her so this is shot two. lets pretend love its her next chance to get modeling gigs. her hair touching and upper lip drives me nuts. ben needs to get dumped by her so he can just go home and find a nice home town girl mommy and sis will like. i think for the 1st time in all the seasons cant wait for it to end.

    Comment by judy — February 21, 2012 @ 11:16 am

  40. I love your blog, it is hilarious! Keep it up! Can’t wait to read about #8!

    Comment by Linda — February 21, 2012 @ 4:15 pm

  41. Why do people read blogs they hate? “Ashleyisanidiot” sounds like the biggest idiot of all. Move on.

    Most people get a kick out of her blog.
    Ashley, your photos are my favorite part, and your captions. We read blogs like this to get a little chuckle in our day, to escape for a few minutes while we are supposed to be working at work. I am a 35 year old mother of two. Although I hate to admit that I watch this horrible show, I tell everyone about the funny blogs I read that are associated with it. They are the best part. Ashley….have you ever read “ihategreenbeans” website. She’s pretty good, but she rarely adds photos, which is my favorite. Keep up the good work making fun of people. That’s why we read! And I thought you handled yourself with class on your season.

    Comment by Marie — February 22, 2012 @ 9:52 am

  42. I am pretty disappointed in this season’s Bachelor. Courtney, well, if that is his choice then I too will be disappointed in Ben. I also cannot understand why the producers don’t insist on him having his hair styled. It is so unbecoming…he looks classless.

    Comment by Dolores — February 22, 2012 @ 10:19 am

  43. Now I understand why you didn’t choose Ben. He has the personality of a doorknob. Come on now people, there’s nothing wrong with Courtney a good orthodontist and a personality transplant can’t fix!

    Comment by Kathy — February 22, 2012 @ 8:56 pm

  44. Y’all (sorry I’m in Alabama)… check out the screenshot of Courtney in the animal sacrifices segment — Michael Jacksonesque, right?! Splitting image! (And now I’m officially creeped out by her even further.)

    Ashley, I echo everyone who says you’re hilarious. Keep up the good work and entertaining commentary!

    They need to give you a permanent spot on the show, sidekick to Chris Harrison.

    Comment by Val — February 23, 2012 @ 1:12 pm

  45. This is for everyone who is upset at the mean comments on Courtney (Romy) — watch all the episodes over again and listen to EVERY word that comes out of her mouth. She is a truly mean-spirited bitch and deserves everything being said about her. While Emily was leaving the show Courtney said “See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya” – purely mean. Quirky is one thing, hateful bitch is another. Every time she said “winning” I wanted to reach through the tv and smack some sense into her. Charlie sure as hell wasn’t winning so the phrase is clearly a stupid one to use.

    As for your comments on Emily – I’d hate to be one of your friends. It’s a good thing for a friend to tell you when they see something wrong. I was proud of Emily for telling Ben and very disappointed in Ben’s behavior about the whole thing. Emily is very pretty, funny as hell and has a great personality – the fact that you couldn’t see that should tell you something about yourself. Especially the fact that you are defending Courtney…who doesn’t need defending. She did it all to herself.

    Comment by PJ — February 23, 2012 @ 7:56 pm

  46. You have THE BEST blog on the bachelor!

    Comment by Elizabeth — February 26, 2012 @ 2:06 pm

  47. your blogs are hilarious every week, Ashley! By the way Kathy, this is Ashley Spivey not Ashley Hebert. Ashley H. is the one who was The Bachelorette! :)

    Comment by beth — February 27, 2012 @ 4:21 pm

  48. Jake and Ben are alike as both seem to be choose the girl noone else likes. In the end I hope Courtney gets the boot.

    Comment by Leona — February 28, 2012 @ 9:47 am

  49. I hope he does pick Courtney and then we can wait for the train wreck that follows in all the tabloids till he dumps her. He said he wanted someone everyone likes, well NOONE likes her.Wonder what his Mom thinks?

    Comment by Julie B — February 29, 2012 @ 6:05 am

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