Ashley Spivey’s Blog: I Guess Men Really Do Love B_#ches…

I have so much to say about this episode but part of me doesn’t want to stoop to the level of pettiness that I saw displayed on Monday night.  Once again, I just can’t believe how some of these girls act on camera!  What I tried to do when I was on the show is I tried to imagine how my little sister would feel after every episode.  I never wanted her to feel ashamed of me or have people make fun of her because of how I acted.  Obviously, these girls (I am really emphasizing the word girls here and not women) did not think about their families, workplaces, etc.  This episode is a perfect example of how not to act on tv and how not to act when you are jealous…

The episode begins with Ben arriving in San Francisco and talking with his sister that bares a striking resemblance to a lady that will show up later in this episode and I’m not talking about a Kardashian…

Emily gets a terrifying one-on-one date with Ben where they both scale the Bay Bridge.  It’s your typical adrenaline date where the two bond over their fears blah blah blah.  When will Bachelor ladies learn to not put down their biggest fears on the questionnaire?  Say you are terrified of kittens!  Ben also puts on a frightening amount of lipgloss for their dinner date afterwards.

Emily kisses all of his lipgloss off but Ben keeps his mouth closed :( This is not a good sign!  I think that Ben loves how smart and goofy she is but I really believe that his affection is shown through his mouth.  He open mouth kisses people that he is into!  Watch!

It’s group date time and Casey S. is psyched to finally get some screen time!

They all go snow skiing down a busy street that was shutdown for the date and Kacie B. was the best by far!  I love her positive attitude and she has an awesome body!

Rachel gives it her best shot after skiing!  She ends up getting the group date rose but once again, Ben only gives her pecks!

More pecks for Kacie B. as well :(

Brittany gets the next one-on-one date but she decides that she wants to quit this shizz.  She decides to interrupt Ben on his group date and tell him that she is going home.  She also keeps repeating that this is the hardest decision she has ever made – major eye roll!

Ben doesn’t seem too disappointed that Brittany is leaving.  He claims that he actually picked her for the date because he was on the fence about her.  Why would he waste a date in his favorite city on someone he was lukewarm about?  This confuses me.  I wonder if Sheryl was mad at Brittany when she got home?  Lindzi ends up being the backup date!

We get a glimpse into Ben’s getting-ready routine but they mysteriously leave out a giant step…

The part where he flat-irons his hair!  I don’t even know why he tries because it always ends up getting frizzy by the end of the date!

Ben takes Lindzi to get ice cream, they get to ride on a trolley, and then they are serenaded by Wes Hayden!  (JK)  I love Matt Nathanson!  They look a little awkward dancing together and then they just give up and kiss the whole time!

You can tell Ben is really into her because he opens REAL wide…

They seem to have a lot of fun together!  I really like these two!

The end of this episode was some of the most cringe worthy tv I have ever watched!  I knew Shawntel was going on the show but I had no idea that she had to deal with all of this.  It was never a secret that Shawntel liked Ben while watching Ashley’s season of Bachelorette, but what most people don’t know is that Ben and Shawntel texted/phoned each other up until he was chosen as the Bachelor.  Maybe after people realize this Ben’s face right here makes sense…

I think Ben really freaked out when Shawntel showed up at the cocktail party because she was someone that he definitely was interested in.  All the other girls surely freaked out as well because Shawntel is a beautiful girl and was a very liked bachelorette on our season.

I mean, even Courtney was shook and she has A LOT of confidence!

Elyse completely disgusted me.  She just kept on shrieking in her shrill voice, “Who is she?” “You don’t know Ben!”  Oh honey, let me tell you. Us Bachelor folk all know each other whether we want to or not.  It’s like a big dysfunctional fraternity/sorority.  Shawntel knows Ben better than you ever will.  Guys from previous seasons wanted to talk to Shawntel because she’s beautiful, classy, and nice.  I don’t know if the same can be said about you.

I have to admit that I was a big fan of Erika up until she uttered some of the ugliest words I’ve ever heard on this show.  In her intro video that wasn’t aired, I thought she had a good personality and seemed to have a really good heart.  Obviously, all that pageantry must come in handy because she fooled me into thinking she was a nice person.  A nice person would NEVER say something like this.  Chicago must be really proud of you honey.

Dumpster trash?  Who are you calling dumpster trash?  Is that what happens to all us ladies once we are eliminated? Guess you’ll be joining us soon! You’re going to be so popular at the reunions!  All of us dumpster trash can’t wait to meet you!

Ash rose pic

Marissa rose pic

I think we look pretty good for dumpster trash.  You do understand Jaclyn that technically, Ben is Ashley’s dumpster trash right?  The whole premise of Bachelor/Bachelorette is now founded on the concept of “dumpster trash.”

Jaclyn says she thinks she is better than Shawntel.  I think the answer to that is a big ole “HELL NO.”

Courtney actually does something pretty smart during her time with Ben – she talks about a future with him.  Ben seems pretty smitten with her.

Lindzi and the rest of America do not feel the same.

Casey S. just thinks that Courtney is misunderstood.  Emily and Blakeley ain’t buying it and their faces crack me up.  Emily still wins the award for best faces.

This pretty much sums up what I’ve been trying to say about how we can all observe how Ben feels about the ladies by the way he kisses them.  Look at how aggressive he’s being!  Nothing but open mouth kisses for Courtney!

Shawntel knew the girls weren’t going to like her but I don’t think she expected this level of hatred.  I’ve NEVER seen a group of girls act so catty.

Even Rachel, who I adore/d, makes a pretty catty comment about Shawntel draining people’s blood.  People who are currently unemployed CANNOT make fun of someone else’s profession.

Ahhh, I almost forgot about Jennifer!  I still really like her and bless her heart – she is SO into Ben.  She calls him dreamy and tell him that she thinks about him all the time!  I have to admit that they don’t seem to have that much to talk about but dang, their kisses are steamy!

It’s rose ceremony time and Ben gives Courtney the first rose, surely because he wants her to stay.  I think he ends up not giving Shawntel a rose because he knew that Courtney would walk and at this point, I think he likes her the most.  It’s sad really because I think he really does feel something for Shawntel! :(

Erika ends up not getting a rose and also encountering a fainting spell.  What comes around, goes around lady!

Guess who also doesn’t get a rose?  No one is surprised.

I think everyone was really surprised that Shawntel didn’t get the rose.  If I were one of the girls on Ben’s season – I would have wanted Shawntel to stay if Ben really wanted her there.  I would want all the competition I could get because at the end of the day, I would want him to be as sure as possible that it was me he wanted in the end.  The girls should have realized this and tried to be as respectful as possible.  At the end of the day, it’s much better to be as nice as possible and to always realize that jealousy is never attractive on anyone.  Ben is obviously more attracted to the confident people and the quicker these girls realize this, the better!

I’m so interested to hear what y’all have to say about this episode!  Please leave some feedback!  Were y’all as disappointed in the girls as I was?  Do y’all think Shawntel deserved a rose?

Visit me at for more Bachelor posts!



  1. I completely agree with you on all points! I even LOVED your little digs, these girls totally deserve this.

    Comment by OCrazy — January 19, 2012 @ 11:13 am

  2. The girls were acting like brats. I think the Shawntel thing was for ratings. She could have contacted Ben before the show and discussed things then. I’m sick of watching Courtney playing with her hair and her lips. I’m not sure what people see in Lindzi. Her voice drives me crazy and her hair needs something. I think I like Emily the best (as of right now).

    Comment by Tracey — January 19, 2012 @ 11:34 am

  3. I agree w/ you I felt bad for Shawntel. And I hate Courtney she is worse than evil and Ben should see that. It is ridiculous what she did, it is not fair you make jokes about someone feelings. After Shawntel did not receive the rose she did I mean comment.

    I hope your time in this tv show be short… stupid b****

    Comment by Carolina — January 19, 2012 @ 11:40 am

  4. i like your blog the best! Thank-you!

    Comment by krysty — January 19, 2012 @ 11:45 am

  5. I really liked your input on all this. Sometimes these shows really confuse me in what is really going on in the one persons mind when they keep what I think is not a keeper.

    Well, it seeems that he is so far attracted to Courtney and I pray he does not pick her in the end….that is UNLESS he is really not serious in finding “true love” because with Courtney, I think it is all in being a winner and up front. Just a game. :)

    Best wishes

    Comment by Janis — January 19, 2012 @ 11:47 am

  6. SOOOOO upset over the way the girls acted. Although I shouldn’t be surprised. Girls can be SO mean.

    Shawntel is beautiful and I totally agree he would have kept her if Courtney hadn’t told him (while she was accepting his rose) that she didn’t want anymore craziness. Controlling much?!

    Comment by Jennifer — January 19, 2012 @ 12:04 pm

  7. Great blog Ashley! You nailed every one of these catty “girls”. I feel sorry for Ben since none of them have any class. I wonder how many of them will be “unemployed” or better yet given no salary increase. When will they learn what not to say on camera!

    Comment by samantha — January 19, 2012 @ 12:06 pm

  8. You nailed it, Ashley! I was so embarrassed for these girls. They deserve what they eventually got ~ the exit door and a trip home. It is like they are clueless that this is going to be on national TV. What purpose did it accomplish for them to be so rude and obnoxious? I can’t help but wonder what Ben thinks today upon watching it back what these girls said about Shawntel and about each other, and we are only three episodes into this season. No one deserves what they heaped on Shawntel when they made no effort whatsoever to get to know her. Yes, she came as a complete surprise, but this is a reality show and the producers can do what they want. It is their show and they merely signed up to be on it. Time to wake up girls, if you want to keep smelling the roses.

    Comment by Kathie — January 19, 2012 @ 12:11 pm

  9. OMG Ashley I’m LMAO! You are better than Perez Hilton! Can’t wait to see you in Vegas!

    Comment by Nataie Getz — January 19, 2012 @ 12:55 pm

  10. You have a great blog! I hope Ben sees sooner rather than later how vapid Courtney is. She can’t make a real facial expression to save her hair.

    And I’m really glad that even though Ben felt like he couldn’t keep Shawntel, he still got rid of both of the others. As if to say, “I may not be able to give Shawntel this rose… but I still don’t want to give it to either of YOU!” They were truly horrible.

    I think Shawntel looks exactly like Rachel Bilson!

    Comment by Beth — January 19, 2012 @ 2:25 pm

  11. Well, needless to say I found myself trying to remember how old these girls (wannabe women) are. Are they scripted or actually don’t care how they are presenting themselves to world on TV. Unfortunately, I think I’ve already figured out who Ben picks and it is going to drive me crazy when I’m right.

    Comment by Paulette — January 19, 2012 @ 2:29 pm

  12. I absolutely love your blog! You take the words right outta my mouth haha. Sucks this season will end with him going with lust vs. love :/ Courtney isnt Ben worthy!

    Comment by Danielle S — January 19, 2012 @ 3:08 pm

  13. There’s a model in fashion magazines named Missy Rayder who looks just like Courtney, and happens to also be from Wisconsin. Can anyone confirm if this is the same person??

    Comment by Bobbie — January 19, 2012 @ 5:00 pm

  14. You have the BEST blogs. Your blogs are halarious! I agree with you totally.

    Comment by Vanessa — January 19, 2012 @ 5:11 pm

  15. Your blog is fantastic! These women went a little overboard over Shawntel’s arrival. Why not just welcome her? If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. I felt very bad for Shawntel and I’m sure she didn’t like watching what all the women were saying about her. Very hurtful.

    Comment by emy — January 19, 2012 @ 5:59 pm

  16. Okay…HILARIOUS!!!! You and ashley were my favorites on Brad’s season and this is why. Fun, funny and mature unlike Ben’s season. The only two I like are emily, kacie B. and Lindzi. They seem genuine, fun and truly are looking for a husband…not to win a game. Courtney is horrific. I know he doesn’t see the evil side we all see and I know that the editing plays it up. BUT…she is acting and totally controlling ben. Notice his mouth is open and HERS is not in the kissing game most of the time. And please…don’t give me the crap that she doesn’t date much and she wants a simple life. RIGHT…
    i hope he will pull a Jason and change his mind if he has already picked courtney. keep on writing and being honest! OH, and i adored shawntel too and totally could see them together. Sad that it happened this way :(

    Comment by Dana — January 19, 2012 @ 7:18 pm

  17. sorry…that would be 3, not two women i like on this season:)

    Comment by Dana — January 19, 2012 @ 7:18 pm

  18. I wanted Shawntel to stay. I really liked her for Ben, i reckon he made a mistake. But i honestly think he is into Courtney the most. And Only because she is a “model”. Lindzi and Jennifer are better suited to him. Kacie B is too conservative for him, even though i like her the most.

    Comment by Anna — January 19, 2012 @ 7:38 pm

  19. I couldn’t even believe how ridiculously rude some of those girls were being. I just didn’t get it. Just because they didn’t want Shawntel to be there doesn’t mean they had to be so MEAN. I can’t understand why they’d want to pick fights with her either. I have to wonder if that girl Elise would have been half as angry if she hadn’t been the one talking to Ben at the moment Shawntel walked in.
    Anyways, I enjoy your blog and I’m in total agreement. BE CLASSY, PEOPLE.

    Comment by Marissa — January 19, 2012 @ 7:54 pm

  20. The one person who is getting a lot of flack that I don’t quite get is Erika… at the time I took her comment to be a joke and it’s getting a LOT of attention. I mean, who honestly hasn’t thought those things about a girl… of course most of us wouldn’t say them on TV about someone else (I hope) but I think she was trying to make light of a situation? Maybe I’m being a polyanna here but anyway – love the blog!

    Comment by lmi82 — January 19, 2012 @ 8:37 pm

  21. Your blog is tops this week! You have insight having been in the same situation last year…and we love your input. Your comments about Jaclyn were the best! Elyse-ugh! Kacie B. seems too sweet for Ben and the most likely to be crushed by him. Also, not a fan of “what’s-her-butt” (eww did I just repeat that term?),Courtney. But she seems the most “worldly” and probably fits Ben’s “Cream Dream” side better than any other girl. And let’s not forget the famous “Bachelor Producers and Editors” that all viewers fall victim to. (Would love to hear some of your viewpoints on the producing and editing that molds our opinions.) Thanks for your words and all the work you are putting in to this every week.

    Comment by Lola — January 20, 2012 @ 2:01 am

  22. Ashley, I love your bloog and thanks for all your time making it…

    It’s strange, everytime it see and hear Courtney, I think of Bently, remember him, seems that they would be a great couple…

    Comment by Lis — January 20, 2012 @ 11:15 am

  23. I loved your blog as usual. I imagine the “women tell all” will be extremely interesting. I wish they would invite Shawntel on that show.

    Comment by Sunny0303 — January 20, 2012 @ 2:25 pm

  24. A lot of interesting commentary /captions/animated pics Ashley…I do think their attitudes towards Shawntel could be interpreted as a reflection on their own personality and tendencies. From reading Shawntel’s interview transcript today, she says that Jennifer was very nice to her.

    There are a couple of others that you do not mention showing some degree of immaturity or flawed thinking in regards to the Shawntel thing—I’m currently thinking this applies to Nicki, and even Kaci B after something was confirmed in a transcript today (see below.)
    I get the impression that you aren’t deviating from your previous blog opinion of Nicki having a ‘happy and bubbly personality’, since you have not commented on Nicki this time. However, what about her reaction to Shawntel in her short conversation with Jaime and Emily? If you are going to be pointing out the harshness of their reactions as a group towards your RL friend Shawntel, then I think this portion of Nicki’s rant should be acknowledged. Maybe it was not that noticeable initially, but Nicki did declare to them in reference to Shawntel, “I’m just real irritated-I’m not going to be fake-and I’m not going to be your friend. I don’t give a [expletive] why she’s here and I’m not going to talk to her.” I was really thinking the last part, when I replayed it, was very significant. Maybe your previous impression of Nicki’s personality overrides those words? Still, her rant shows her unwillingness to really even speak to Shawntel, and I thinking that could be interpreted as immature.

    Regarding Kaci B:
    Shawntel’s interview transcript revealed/confirmed that she believes it was indeed Kaci who said ‘all of this is happening because of Shawntel’, and after considering that, I guess she may have been holding some judgment towards Shawntel and her effect on the night….In any case, Shawntel seems to have seen past that, and still considers Kaci B one of the kinder ones to her.

    Comment by Lola — January 20, 2012 @ 3:03 pm

  25. Enjoyed your article Ashley and I must say I was not surprised by some of the girls’ reactions when Shawntel showed up. It just shows how much some of them think of this as a competition and are not taking the falling in love part seriously. They act like this is more of a competition to win than the possibility of a long lasting relationship. In another article Chris Harrison stated that by not giving Shawntel a rose he was showing the women there how serious and sincere he is being by sending her home. I don’t see it this way because if he truly was being serious and hoping to find love, I would think he would have kept Shawntel around to see if it would go anywhere. To just exclude keeping someone because it could/would cause some friction just shows he is more concerned with keeping the peace with the women there than anything else. If he really did feel he had some connection with Shawntel I think he should have given her a rose to see if anything developed further. As was pointed out, if I was the final one that he offered the last rose to and proposed to I would want to be sure that it was because he truly felt love for me over any other, not just love for me over the women who originally joined the cast. A relationship isn’t going to work otherwise and personally I wish he had given her one just so that Courtney would go home. I really can’t stand her two faced attitude and if Ben ends up with her at the end I will be very disappointed and I really don’t think they will last.

    Comment by Mindy — January 22, 2012 @ 11:55 am

  26. The only Ben Courtney is worthy of is BENtley. They would be perfect together!

    Comment by Seanna — January 22, 2012 @ 3:14 pm

  27. Come on – you know the gig. No nasty talk = no screen time. For those who want the tv exposure and to go onto bigger and better (e.g., Bachelor Pad 6 or whatever), back talk and potty mouth is essential. Has been that was ever since the show started IMO. Without it, the show would be boring.

    I still will be shocked if Courtney and Ben stay together after he sees the snot face that she really is.

    Comment by SKae — January 22, 2012 @ 6:06 pm

  28. Wow.

    I absolutely love Courtney and I am rooting for her to receive the final rose. Her comment about the other girls being ‘naive’ is spot-on. And I think Ben is totally into Courtney.

    I also adored Shawntel. She and Ashley were my favorites, during Brad’s season.

    So Shawntel, here is my prediction for how Ben’s season will play out:

    Ben will give Courtney the final rose. They will become engaged at the end of this season. However, like most bachelor/bachelorette matches, Ben and Courtney will break-up before they marry.

    Shawntel, after Ben and Courtney break up, you and Ben will get together.

    That’s the beauty of Ben sending Shawntel home when he did.

    Shawntel will get her chance. Mark my words.

    Comment by Carole — January 23, 2012 @ 8:55 am

  29. I LOVE yer blog as always, Ashley! My faves are Emily, Lindzy, Kacie B and Jennifer. Yes Courtney sux. And at the end, i don’t think he will chose her. I think he will visit her hometown & realize she’s not for him. I’m hoping. I also believe he only sent Shawntel home because of what Courtney said while getting the rose. Please kee) it up Ashley, you were spot on with EVERYTHING. :)

    Comment by Jayne' Morales — January 24, 2012 @ 7:08 am

  30. I have been reading all of the comments and agree with almost all of you. Shawntel was treated like she was a homewrecker. The little girls forgot they were suppose to be women looking for love. I think the look on Ben’s face when she showed up was of surprise and excited at the thought of getting to know her in person. I too agree that if she would have been recieved with kindness like mature women should have done that he would have given her a rose . I think that after gettting to know her they would have ended up together at the end . I was very disappointed at the way Ben handled the situation. He should have told all the girls that this was his quest to find love and he was exploring all his options. He should have said,” If you have a problem with Shawntel staying , then maybe you should go ” I want a strong ,mature and confident women. Shawntel showed all of them that she is that person .
    That he also did not want to loose out on finding the woman he is supose to be with because of insecure jelious women. I guarantee if he would have been brave enough to say that the little girls would have left and the women would have stayed and fought for his attention. (If any would have left after he would have said something like that it would have made them look stupid.) I would not want to have the thought that he is with me because he wanted to be fair to everyone but himself. I would wonder did he regret his decision . The bottom line is he signed up to date multipal women and they agreed. It was only 3 or 4 weeks into it it was not like they were down to the last 3 women. Then I might have been scared my heart would be broken. BUT always wanting to be picked because I am the one for him and he is the one for me
    no-matter how late another women comes into the picture.

    Comment by Syndie — January 24, 2012 @ 7:09 am

  31. That’s so funny that you said this because this is EXACTLY what I was saying. I actually texted my friend and said how ugly they were acting. I really hope Ben starts to see this behavior (especially from Courtney) because he deserves better than some of these mean unattractive girls.

    Comment by Nina — January 24, 2012 @ 1:14 pm

  32. I think Ashley was spot on too…But let’s not forget that Shawntel had a job that she was gonna have to stay at…the family business…she’s not right for Ben, in hearing Ben say he loves San Francisco, and that’s where he wants to live the rest of his life…I heard him say it..that’s where his heart is..and I don’t think Shawntel would b willing to give up her family business, if I remember correctly, her father wanted her to take over, in that episode I remember something to that effect, I don’t remember exact words, i’m trying to think right now…lol…But I think Jennifer and Kasey B are perfect for him…and Lindsey to great too….those are my three choices, Courtney has some major issues and needs help, she’s cruel, controlling and downright WEIRD…something about her I just can’t point out, other than i think she’s WEIRD..Ben is an amazing, laid back kinda guy, and deserves that same kind of girl, and I think Kasey B and Jennifer more meet that kind of personality….Good Blog Ashley, keep it up….love the reading….

    Comment by Nina — January 25, 2012 @ 8:26 am

  33. Love all your screencaps and great observations. Never noticed the kissing thing before, but it makes a lot of sense. (I wonder though if that is love or just lust?) I agree that he probably had some feelings for Shawntel, but if anything this whole situation shows how feelings aren’t everything….especially since he probably has varying degrees of feelings for several girls on the show. Which I guess is not too different from how things can go in real life too.

    Reminds me of a comment I read somewhere relating the situation to that book/movie, He’s Just Not That Into You. It’s sad because when we girls sense that romantic connection and the likelihood that there are feelings there on both sides we assume it means that the guy will want to go somewhere with it, but oftentimes that isn’t the case because even if he likes you he might not like you enough or he may like someone else more. Or even if he feels something he may not be ready to commit or settle down. It just goes to show that love is so much more than a feeling but has to come with responsibility, selflessness, sacrifice, and a willingness to commit. In any case, I think we are often left feeling “crazy,” silly, or stupid for thinking there was something there when in reality maybe there was. But maybe just not enough for the guy to go out of his way to pursue you. And I, for one, don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t like me enough or is not ready for something serious.

    I feel for Shawntel, but I think if Ben really liked her enough to want to be with her long term, he wouldn’t have gone on the Bachelor in the first place.

    Comment by J — January 27, 2012 @ 2:18 am

  34. Your blog is fantastic!!! I could not have said it better! The girls were SO incredibly rude to Shawntel- it made me so sad! I loved her on Brad’s season & I can tell she is a sweet & genuine girl who obviously had a connection with Ben before he went on the show- sad they couldn’t make it work :( Ben will regret not taking his chance with her! Especially if he ends up with Courtney! Enough said…

    Comment by Ashley — January 27, 2012 @ 3:37 pm

  35. hello there and thank you for your info – I have definitely picked up anything new from right here. I did however expertise some technical issues using this site, since I experienced to reload the website a lot of times previous to I could get it to load correctly. I had been wondering if your web host is OK? Not that I’m complaining, but slow loading instances times will sometimes affect your placement in google and can damage your high quality score if advertising and marketing with Adwords. Well I’m adding this RSS to my email and can look out for a lot more of your respective interesting content. Make sure you update this again soon..

    Comment by seo — January 31, 2012 @ 9:39 am

  36. such a great blog. love reading it.. I’ll be checking back often.

    Comment by Pleaser Shoes — January 7, 2013 @ 3:08 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment