Blake’s Bachelor Pad Blog: Episode 2

First and foremost, please keep Michelle Money in your hearts and prayers.  Her family has seen a number of devastating events in the past few days and she could surely use your heartfelt support.  Thanks.

Okay Bachelor Pad fans, as if you’re not inundated enough with extraneous information and deleted scenes, they’ve asked for my take on this week’s episode.  We start out the show with the egg toss, which most people remember as a fun filled activity for youngsters during field day.  Leave it to the twisted minds that create these challenges (ahem, Chris Harrison) to figure out a way to turn this classic kids’ game into the drama-inducing pot stirrer you all witnessed.  Many of those questions were tough to answer, and you didn’t really want to throw an egg at anyone.  But then again, how often do you get to throw a paint filed egg at someone?  So, BOMBS AWAY.  Let me just say, standing next to Jake was a mistake.  Talk about collateral damage.  The girls did a pretty great job connecting with their targets (I think I only saw ONE egg get thrown directly into the ground, Holly).  Kudos to Melissa and Jackie for making it a tight race and for not hitting me.  Melissa wound up victorious and selected myself, Kasey, and Kirk to accompany her on her date.  Can you guess her “type?”

When it’s the guys’ turn to toss the eggs, things seemed to get a little more personal.  The distribution of shots seemed to be much more concentrated on the number 8 position.  And by that I mean ERICA GOT LIT UP!  I honestly felt bad for her.  Sticks and stones definitely hurt, but paint filled eggs leave a vivid abstract collage for all to see.  At least when Michael connected with her for the third time, and the win, he selected her as a date companion along with Holly and Michelle.  Not a bad consolation prize, especially considering she consults her astrologer regularly and believes firmly in spirits among us.  I’m really glad Michael wasn’t pelting me with eggs because A) I probably would’ve cried too, and B) I want nothing to do with Linda Vista hospital.  Ghosts are not my thing!

Yachting!  Now there’s something I could get used to.  Going on Melissa’s date along with Kirk and Kasey was fun, and it was the perfect opportunity to stretch my strategic legs.  This is, after all, a game.  A game in which the winner stands to receive a considerable chunk of change, but they have to earn roses along the way to do so.  If I’m playing chess, I’m not going to leave my queen unused for fear of hurting the other players’ feelings when I win.  Just like I wasn’t going to ignore flirting with Melissa as a viable tactic in this war of deceit that is Bachelor Pad.  It was never my intention to conjure up such strong emotions in her, however.  We did kiss, twice even.  But I’m afraid she lost sight of the fact that we only went on ONE DATE!  She’s a great woman and I wish her the best, but intimacy or a relationship between us was never even discussed.  So, I’ll be honest, being compared to Bentley from my season of The Bachelorette stung.  The Bachelorette is a dating show where true love is the goal; Bachelor Pad, conversely, is a game show where winning $250,000 is EVERYONE’S goal.  Believe me, if I had even the slightest hint of the maelstrom from Melissa (of which us viewers only caught a glimpse) that my actions would precipitate, I would have personally handed that rose to Kasey on a silver platter and taken my chances at the rose ceremony.  But I chose my strategy in this case and lived with the outcome.  I do have to say, it was not a proud moment watching myself say things that ended up hurting someone.  I never meant for Melissa to get so caught up in the emotional side of a strategic game, and for that I truly am sorry.  A fact I’m sure Jackie will attest to: war is going to have casualties.  You can’t make an omelet without breaking some paint filled eggs. The Mask showed us that didn’t he?

Speaking of losses, it’s time for our favorite pilot to cut his and taxi onto the runway so he can fly home.  Jake asking Vienna and Kasey for help was difficult to watch.  There was no shot in hell they were going say, “Sure, we’ll work to keep you around.  By the way, thanks for the rose last week, pal.”  You’ve got to give it to him, though.  The guy certainly knows the meaning of the word tenacity.  Gia, on the other hand, folded faster than a ream of paper in a Chinese origami contest.  As the returning veteran, I was really hoping she’d stick around longer.  In her defense though, feeling betrayed by a long time friend can shake even the most determined mind.

Betrayal (fortunately if you like drama, and unfortunately if you don’t like tears) is the theme in the Bachelor Pad mansion.  It’s intrinsic to the game.  Graham betrayed Gia’s confidence by telling Kasey, Kasey betrayed Graham’s confidence by talking to Gia, Melissa betrayed her allegiance to Kasey by not giving him the rose, Kasey betrayed his promise to Jackie and Ames by not guarding and protecting her (I guess his powers of protection directly correlate to the number of heart tattoos he has).  Are we seeing a pattern here?  This game is brutal–and it’s only going to heat up more and more as the eliminations progress.  One shining beacon of truth and light, however, emanated from none other than Ames Brown.  His decision to forego a chance at $250,000 and pursue a chance at love instead was the stuff of Lifetime movies.  That guy never ceases to warm my heart and put a smile on my face.  I wish them the best and hope things work out.  Until next time, friends.