Chris “SWAT” Bain’s Bachelor Pad Blog: Episode 2

Alright, so I want to start off by re-addressing last week’s episode and reiterate to everyone that either failed to understand what I had mentioned in last week’s blog entry or just simply did not read it. My decision to vote off Paige was solely based on a last minute discussion that I had with another “veteran” cast mate. I knew I was headed for the limo and I wanted to help my veteran boys. At this point in the game I had developed the strongest relationship with several of the guys in the house and was partial to helping them out in any way that I could. This was my way of helping them get one step closer at winning the game. Erica was by far my first choice to send packing, but this is a game and you cannot allow personal emotions to get involved. Look on the bright side, maybe there will be another egg throwing challenge and we’ll get to see her whole backside full of egg again.


Now, with that aside lets move on to episode 2 of this nonsense they call Bachelor

Pad. We start off tonight’s episode with Erica showing her hate toward David for trying to vote her off on last week’s episode and the twins arguing about who knows what. Boy, are we in for a treat! I do, however believe the twins actions were the result of several adult beverages.

Rhythmic gymnastics. I would like to thank the girls for voting me off on the first episode to save me the embarrassment. I’m not very coordinated and have absolutely zero dance skills. I’m white! I do feel like I would have looked pretty good in a leotard though. Guess we’ll never know! David seems to be pretty nervous going into this challenge, as he should be with his antics from last week’s episode. While watching the challenge I was extremely embarrassed for Erica. Not only did she have the coordination of a 2 year old but also, she looked awful (oops! I wore a dress!) and appeared to be in her own world. I would like to make a public apology for not voting her off last week. Now, I’m going to have to suffer watching her with the rest of you until they get her removed from the pad. Something tells me this won’t take too long though. The girls look horrendous and the guys don’t look much better. Stagliano wins on the guys’ side and Blakeley wins on the girls’ side. David is sweatin’ bullets about going home and Erica is wishing that she wouldn’t have worn a dress. Erica now holds the lead for finishing last in the most challenges, 2.

Each winner gets to go on a 3 on 1 date. Stagliano picks Donna, Rachel, and Lindzi to go on a date with. Erica shows her ass again by making another dumbass comment saying “If Donna gets a rose to go on a date over me I would be pissed because a fan shouldn’t get a rose over me!” Really Erica? When are you going to realize that if it weren’t for fans you would not be in the position you are in now? Whatever that position is? Rachel and Stagliano really seem to make a connection on the date and have quite the make out session. Donna gets sloppy seconds and shares an awkward kiss with Stagliano. Donna I love ya girl, but it was awkward!! Stagliano builds Donna’s hopes up to get the safe rose and then shoots her down by giving the rose to Rachel.

Blakeley picks David, Chris, and Ed. David is in absolute shock as is the rest of the house. Ed and his stylish yellow shorts win the soapbox derby. Chris and David compete for the safe rose while Ed does what he does best, not care about a thing in the world. David plays the sympathy angle with Blakeley in hopes of getting the safe rose. Blakeley seemed to take to his sympathy, but later gives the safe rose to Chris. After all, Blakeley has been hooking up with Chris and it would only be the right thing to do. Congratulations to my boy, Ed for winning the soapbox derby. Unfortunately, this doesn’t do a bit of good for him.

Back to the Pad we go! Let the after party begin. This is where I struggled in the game. I don’t drink and therefore had a hard time communicating with everyone else. I was that sober guy that just got annoyed by the extreme level of drunkenness.

Donna and Erica shared an intimate kiss. I had no idea Donna had bisexual tendencies, good for her! The twins are back at their shenanigans and arguing until the wee hours of the morning. Brittany decides that she wants to go home while Erica wants to stick around to continue her relationship with David. Brittany holds the pants in this relationship and sends Erica home with her. I still don’t know what they were arguing about and I’m pretty sure if you asked them today, they wouldn’t know either. Once again, I blame this on alcohol being fed to them like water.

Jamie decides that she wants to pursue Chris, HARD! Chris plays the game and allows Jamie to believe that he is into her. Chris sticks his tongue down her throat and then 5 minutes later gets in the bed with Blakeley. Chris, you are definitely the whore of the house at this point. Keep it up, bud! I totally understand, you’re trying to mend a broken heart. Jamie walks in on Chris and Blakeley sleeping together and the waterfall begins. Jamie really thought she had something special with Chris. I thought I did too, glad I got voted off early so that I couldn’t have developed strong feelings for him.

Rose Ceremony. Chris makes the announcement that the girls are safe and the guys will not be voting due to the twins’ premature exit. Erica bursts out with joy because she has secured another day at the Pad. Ugh! All the guys are pretty nervous about getting voted off except Stagliano and Chris. Kalon plants a seed in Lindzi’s ear to get the girls to vote off Ryan. Kalon wants Ryan gone because he “rubs him wrong”. I hated this because Ryan is a great guy. Ed and Ryan are now on the chopping block to be sent home. Ed is in great shape for the rose ceremony, doesn’t appear that he’s had a single drink. This is a good thing for Ed because he is going to have to do some campaigning to save his ass tonight. Sarah, for some strange reason tells Ed that she voted to remove him before the voting was over! The night prior Sarah hooked up with Ed. Sarah additionally later states that she has feelings for Ed and hates that she voted to send him packing. What a confusing game!! Ryan ends up taking that dreaded limo ride tonight and makes it a point to state that he is feels betrayed by his partner, Jamie. Ryan stated that he was disappointed that he didn’t find love and that he’s still a 32-year-old virgin. Ryan, stay strong buddy. The girl that is going to rock your world saw you tonight and is going to change your life.

“SWAT’s” Final Thoughts: I feel like there is going to a lot more back stabbing and lying in the weeks to come. I foresee Reid and Ed getting into it and Donna showcasing more bikinis. David’s still not in the clear and he better focus on winning more competitions otherwise the vets are going to send him back to Jersey. The clip of Donna eating a banana is a ratings booster!! Until next time, keep it classy!





  1. Well, you weren’t very classy here. Do you always follow the crowd? Just get off Erica’s case.

    Also, how PC of you to say it’s great that Donna is bisexual. I say to her and Erica, make up your fricking mind.

    Comment by Allissa — August 1, 2012 @ 6:11 pm

  2. All I can say is Bachelor Pad shows me why I am so glad I don’t drink.

    Comment by LC — August 1, 2012 @ 6:13 pm

  3. Haha! Your recap made me laugh. Honestly I respect the fact that you played the game by strategy and not emotion–I wish that you had stayed instead of David! It seems like you were able to build some good relationships in the house before you left though, so good for you! Looking forward to reading more of your recaps :)

    Comment by sky — August 1, 2012 @ 7:23 pm

  4. I agree with you about the “fan” comments from Erica and of course Chris with his comment “this is our house”. I can’t figure out who this guy thinks he is? He sure thinks highly of himself. PLEASE vote Chris off soon! Come on ladies get a clue he is bad news! Maybe next season they should get a majority of fans and only bring back the biggest idiots from this season (Erica and Chris). The tables turning on them would be fun to watch!

    Comment by Fan — August 1, 2012 @ 8:21 pm

  5. My life-like silicone dolls of Blakely and Donna are arriving soon! I just ordered a slimmed down version of my Princess Erica Rose doll and it will take a week or two for her to get here. She won’t have orifices like the other ones and will just sit on a couch/throne that I’m making for her. I already bought her a tiara, some pretty dresses and stilletos and this will make a total of SIX life-like human-sized silicone dolls except the one that I punched in the face. I hope everyone is happy for me I haven’t been this excited in years!!!! ;-) ))

    Comment by bachobserver_31 — August 1, 2012 @ 11:02 pm

  6. Hahaha SWAT, love how you’re direct and keep giving it to Erica Rose. She has few fans. Your “developing feelings for Chris” cracked me up. Seriously, I think they got rid of Ryan because he doesn’t drink either. More than one Bachelor/ette has said in the past that they don’t “trust” anyone that they can’t sit down and share a drink with. Only in this case, it’s getting completely hammered, sh&tfaced and making a completely fool of oneself and possibly never getting future employment. I know you are relieved that you’re no longer on this show. I’d like to see Erica stay though and humiliate herself through challenge after challenge. The spelling bee should be a good one.

    Comment by Chrissie — August 1, 2012 @ 11:27 pm

  7. @ bachobserver_31 You can’t imagine how relieved we ladies feel are you only fixate on inanimate objects.

    Comment by Chrissie — August 1, 2012 @ 11:28 pm

  8. Let me try that again.

    Bachobserver_31 – You can’t imagine how relieved we ladies feel THAT YOU ONLY fixate on inanimate objects. Expect plenty of irate readers coming your way to your “very own special thread.”

    Comment by Chrissie — August 1, 2012 @ 11:30 pm

  9. Great recap, Chris. Be happy you’re out of that STD laden house. I can’t decide who is more painful to watch, Chris B., with his immature, arrogant, ignorant attitude, the group of Mean Girls, including Erica who is somewhat of a joke at this point or Ed the drunk. Is he always drunk and has anyone considered he may have a serious problem?

    Anyway, good job showing yourself to be one of the good guys. I’m sorry if people were mean to you, but to be honest, they’re a bunch of silly childrent wanting to extent their 15 min. of fame.

    Comment by jessie — August 2, 2012 @ 8:13 am

  10. Thanks for calling out Erica. I was surprised she was so willing to do gynastics in a dress and show her undies. Even worse-that Fleiss kept those shots in them. Some were blurred, some not. I don’t want to think what the blurred ones showed.

    I agree with Allisa on the bisexual thing. Both appear to be nymphos, are pretty indiscriminating with guys, and probably think a lesbian kiss would be a good turn on that would guarantee more interest in them. They are both lost souls.

    I think the twins were told to leave because they broke the rules by having lied about appearing on another reality show (Jersey Shore) and they were released to save Erica.

    Someone else said that one of the twins hooked up with Tony, which sparked drama. If that happened, I would be really disappointed. Tony is a father, and the twins are like lost little girls. Hopefully this rumor is not true.

    Good blog. Brutally honest. Interesting to read a male’s perspective.

    Comment by Fan — August 2, 2012 @ 9:28 am

  11. I love brutally honest men.

    Comment by Dave Good's Stalker — August 2, 2012 @ 12:26 pm

  12. Let’s be honest here. The reason why Erica is bisexual is because no man will touch her

    Comment by SWAT Fan — August 2, 2012 @ 12:27 pm

  13. I will touch her… as long as she is silicon.

    Comment by bachobserver_31 — August 2, 2012 @ 6:23 pm

  14. Haha I want to meet you one day. Your blog cracks me up.

    Comment by Crystal — August 2, 2012 @ 7:08 pm

  15. My weenus cracks up women too.

    Comment by bachobserver_31 — August 3, 2012 @ 7:23 am

  16. Love your blog Chris. It’s too bad about Reality Steve. There are some major haters over on his blog. They even got one of his real life friend’s Ellen to create a facebook group and then 10 of them joined this group so that Ellen aka ev81 (on his comment section) so that they could say these horrible lies about him. I unfortunately was lured into a larger facebook group: RS lover/haters unite. Now thee 10 are are lovers of Reality Steve when all they did was bash him before. Poor Steve. That Ellen owes us an apology as she is supposed to be a real life friend of Steve’s I hope he outs her this Tuesday in his blog. Also those so called haters now lovers are still stirring it up in the larger facebook group. Good to be able to come to a blog that is fun to read.

    Comment by Couriouser — August 5, 2012 @ 1:28 pm

  17. I would like to apologize to everyone on this blog for my erroneous posts the past few days, including today. I have been set straight and now see how wrong I was about everything I thought I knew. Please accept my apology.

    Comment by Couriouser — August 6, 2012 @ 9:24 am

  18. Actually I never made this comment: I would like to apologize to everyone on this blog for my erroneous posts the past few days, including today. I have been set straight and now see how wrong I was about everything I thought I knew. Please accept my apology

    The story is completely true. Ellen (Steve’s so called real life friend who hooked up with a former bachelor castmate)invited 10 girls to a secret group on facebook to spread lies about Steve which was brought to the larger facebook group (RS Haters and Lovers) which has since disbanded (thank god). I am looking for an apology from these 10 women who decided to involve us in their drama.

    Very easy to use someone’s handle here, perhaps I should call myself cammie99 or liz123 or ev81. No apology for my remarks, I expect an apology from the 10 ladies who caused this debacle.

    Comment by Couriouser — August 6, 2012 @ 11:25 am

  19. Couriouser: GO AWAY!

    Comment by Dave's Stalker — August 6, 2012 @ 11:38 am

  20. @ Dave’s Stalker Sorry can’t do that till I get my apology. After all this is an open forum and anyone can post here, even you Dave’s Stalker. LOL.. Hope you really aren’t Dave’s Stalker, now that would be problematic :-)

    Comment by Couriouser — August 6, 2012 @ 12:35 pm

  21. Hi everyone, I go by the name Cammie99 and Casper33 on Reality Steve’s Blog. I was a member of the 10 ladies that joined the group that Ellen created and then joined the smaller group. I was an RS hater so I joined the group because Ellen said that she had some good dirt on Steve. I am ashamed that I joined the group because eventually it came to light that Ellen is a liar. I even turned on another member of the group because I realized she had told Steve everything that was talked about in the group. She went off on me because we removed her from the smaller group. She didn’t take it well and I also took it badly so let’s jut chalk it up to emotions running very deeply. This has been going on for too long and I want it to end. From the 10 of us, I am very sorry that we dragged all of you into this larger facebook group. I realize now this group was created with malicious intent. For that I am sorry. As one of the admins, I have closed the group. I do not appreciate the way Couriouser went after the truth demanding an apology but truth be told if I were in Couriouser’s shoes I too would have been upset to be lied to about what the group’s purpose was. Anyways I think we should all move forward, apologies to anyone in this larger facebook group that felt duped, we all are ashamed of our actions, I just hope Steve can forgive us and we can all move on. Looking forward to dishing about BP tomorrow night.

    Comment by Cammie99 — August 6, 2012 @ 1:41 pm

  22. @Cammie99 Wow, I am shocked but thank you for the apology. I agree let’s move on from this. I accept your apology and hope the other people in the group do the same. I know many of you emailed me at and I got through a few emails but now that I got the apology I was looking for, I am not going to continue replying to the email for details. Thanks again for the apology, it does mean alot. Agreed, let’s all move forward, excited for BP3 tomorrow night!!!!

    Comment by Couriouser — August 6, 2012 @ 2:16 pm

  23. Jesus H Christ. Couriouser, really? You had to post this nonsense on

    Comment by Jax C — August 6, 2012 @ 4:56 pm

  24. @Jax C, Really Jax let it be. We are handling this. We have already figured out who Couriouser is. Please stop adding fuel to the fire while we discuss with our lawyers how to best handle the situation. It’s not your business Jax, stop acting like you are part of this whole debacle. Thanks

    Comment by Cammie99 — August 8, 2012 @ 3:21 am

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