Chris “SWAT” Bain’s Bachelor Pad Blog: Episode 3

I’ve officially titled this episode the Ed and Reid sh*t show! We start off with Reid showing some concern about his future at the pad because of his tactics, trying to get Ed voted off from the prior episode. David is labeled as a “threat” and appears to be gaining confidence in the game. I still believe it’s a little early to feel like you belong, buddy.

Hot Sludge Fun Day: Chris Harrison greets everyone and informs them that they’ll be leaving the mansion for the next challenge. Everyone bursts with excitement to be leaving murder mansion, even if it is only for a short period. I can relate with everyone’s excitement to be leaving the mansion. It’s almost like being locked up, only in a nice jail. You get disconnected from the real world and long for civilization, something unexpected, and something new and different.

The contestants arrive at the challenge and are confronted with calories in the form of ice cream and hot fudge. This may be the challenge that Erica excels in. Chris Harrison explains the rules of the obstacle course and tells the guys to switch places with the man to there left. The lady in front of them will now be there partner for the challenge. Kalon is optimistic about being paired up with Erica for the challenge and makes the statement, “I’m thinking Erica may be able to eat her way through, Pac-man style!” Kalon, you’re killin’ me man! So far, you’ve had some of the funniest comments in your interviews. Jamie get’s paired with Ed and she’s not feeling as optimistic like Kalon was.


David ended up being paired with Rachel while Sarah ended up with Stagliano. David and Stagliano race toward the finish line and end up finishing so close to each other that judges are forced to take the decision to the instant replay booth. Chris Harrison announces the winners, David and Rachel. Ed and Jamie finish dead last and now have one vote against them going into the next rose ceremony.

This was a challenge that I would have crushed, no doubt in my mind.

3 on 1 Dates: David chooses Blakeley, Jamie, and Erica. David chooses Blakeley because he feels that he owes it to her since Blakeley took him on her 3 on 1, last episode. David chooses Erica to try and get on her good side after throwing me under the bus and telling her he was going to vote her off in episode 1. The date is a re-creation of a high school prom. Jamie immediately releases baggage from her childhood (Kalon, this date may have been perfect for you. You seem to do well with women and “baggage”) and explains that she was unable to attend her high school prom due to her Mother going M.I.A. David takes Jamie’s vulnerability as an opportunity to possibly get some action and strikes. What else would you expect from a Jersey guy? David gives Jamie the safe rose and they enjoy the rest of night together at Jamie’s first prom, only it’s not really a prom. Sorry, Jamie!


Rachel chooses Nick, Tony, and Stagliano. I’m excited to finally see my boy Nick get some face time. I’m also excited to finally see Tony do some talking. The date is at the wax museum in Hollywood. Rachel, Nick, Tony, and Stagliano will be made up and act as wax figures while scaring/surprising fans of The Bachelor series. All in all this was a rather boring 3 on 1 due to the obvious. Rachel was going to give the safe rose to Stagliano so they could continue there on screen romance. Tony was a little disappointed that he was left with a limo ride back to the mansion with none other than “Captain Protein”. Nick, hold your head up buddy! Us big fellas are used to protein and work out jokes.

Back to murder mansion: Discussions heat up amongst the contestants back at the pad. Jamie somehow gained a world of confidence from going on the 3 on 1 date with David and is now going to apply that confidence in seducing Bukowski. This was a little uncomfortable to watch. I would say it’s probably going to be the same for Jamie, but she’s already had some uncomfortable moments on TV (really awkward lap dance with Ben Flajnik). Jamie spews her heart out in an interview, saying that Bukowski likes her and she wants to fall in love on TV to show her kids one day. Jamie additionally states that she is going to show Bukowski that she is “a woman and she would be able to please him and make him happy!” OK! Glad we got that all out of the way. ANNNNND GO TIME! Jamie approaches Bukowski in his bunk bed while he’s trying to sleep. Bukowski shows no interest and tells Jamie “It’s not you, it’s me.” Good go to bro, I’ve used it several times and it seems to always get the point across. Jamie is heart broken, but still confident that she could have made it happen because that’s what she does. Jamie had made things happen her whole life, or so she claims. Jamie continues on to say that she is a little awkward when it comes to dating, but really wants someone to share the holidays with. Ok, enough! Jamie is a great girl and I’m sure she’ll eventually find someone as awkward as her and they’re both be able to live an awkward life together.

Enter the Reid and Ed sh*t show: From here on out it’s the fall out of Reid and Ed’s friendship. Yes, Ed did consider and believe Reid to be one of his best friends. Reid is working the numbers again for the next rose ceremony and believes that he has enough of the women on his side to vote off Ed. Sarah lets the cat out of the bag and runs to Ed, unfolding Reid’s plan to vote off Ed. Ed says that he is going to “smash this guy”. Ed confronts Reid. DENY, DENY, DENY Reid. Reid does just that, but is it enough to make Ed believe him and save his ass?

Blakeley is nervous about being on the chopping block. Tony consoles Blakeley and ensures her that she is safe and has nothing to worry about. Donna is also on the chopping block and is not ready to go home. Donna is vulnerable and open to being consoled. Nick was the man for the job! Nick ensures Donna that she is safe from being voted off and eases her tension with a tongue filled make out session. Atta’ boy! Glad to finally see Nick getting in the mix.

Jaclyn is upset (crying) with the way the game is being played and expresses her disagreement with the betrayal and deception. Jaclyn, this is Bachelor Pad. People are competing for $250,000.00. Money makes people do crazy things. Jaclyn and Sarah turn on Reid’s plan to vote off Ed. Reid fails to get a rose resulting in that fabulous limo ride.

Kalon holds a swing vote and makes the decision to send Donna home over Blakeley.

SWAT’s Final Thoughts: I think Reid ultimately was playing the game in the best way that he possibly could. Unfortunately for Reid, the two women he entrusted turned on him. It’s a nasty game and you’ve got to try to stay away from the drama as long as you can. This was my plan, exactly! Reid had a great outlook on his removal from the pad. “It’s a game! It’s a TV Show, I don’t see why so many people are crying.” I feel that going forward David needs to continue winning challenges or he’ll be next to be sent packing.

Until next time,




  1. great blog~

    glad to see someone can get Kalon’s humor. Everyone else in Bachleor Nation is too busy defending Erica since she has some traction in reality TV stardom and they want to maintain her favor and get free plastic surgery from her dad.

    Kalon’s line was the funniest all everning.

    Erica should play it PacMan style!


    (fart) ***take a whiff, Eddie boy!!!

    Comment by Jena Fartz — August 10, 2012 @ 5:10 pm

  2. My blog is the best.

    Comment by Ashley — August 10, 2012 @ 5:16 pm

  3. But do your farts smell as sweet?

    Comment by Jena Fartz — August 10, 2012 @ 5:16 pm

  4. Ashley didn’t write that comment. She’s not that stuck up and besides, she aways writes as “Ashley Spivey” and most of the time you can click her name and it goes to her personal blog. Bottom line, that’s not her. Whoever you are, stop impersonating Ashley. It’s seriously not cool.

    Comment by Beth Holler — August 10, 2012 @ 6:55 pm

  5. I delete all comments from people who don’t kiss my ass so that everyone will think I have a huge fan base.

    Comment by Ashley Spivey — August 11, 2012 @ 8:37 am

  6. Awesome blog bud!!

    Comment by Captain Protein Powder — August 11, 2012 @ 8:46 am

  7. @Beth Holler, Do you ever just stay out of things or do you always have to get involved? Seriously Beth, I am quite sure the commenters here know that it is not Ashley posting. Perhaps if you took time to post relevant comments rather than create drama for the sake of creating drama it would be good. Just sick of your drama calling people out…lol

    Comment by Cammie99 — August 11, 2012 @ 10:22 am

  8. waaaa! waaaa! waaaa!

    Comment by Cammie99 — August 11, 2012 @ 1:19 pm

  9. Omg. Would you get odd my case? I tried to be nice to you but all you do is insult me. I don’t leave comments to create drama. I just wrote that to protect Ashley because I don’t want people to hate her based on some impersonator. In fact, neither of those two comments are hers. You need to grow up. Goodness, you’re so two-faced. And don’t come with any “oh, I had a stressful week” excuses because there weren’t any comments from “coriouser” this week.

    Comment by Beth Holler — August 11, 2012 @ 6:42 pm

  10. *off.

    Comment by Beth Holler — August 11, 2012 @ 6:43 pm

  11. @ Beth Holler, I am sorry if I am coming off as mean, but you are always trying to create some sort of drama and you pointing out that this is not Ashley posting is just adding to the drama. Let it be, we are all smart enough to wade through the comments and realize that it is someone else impersonating Ashley and if she is doing it she has the right as we live in a country where freedom of speech is our constitutional right. That’s all I am saying, sorry if you think I am coming down on you but you need to stick to just commenting and stop getting your knickers in a knot because someone posted pretending to be Ashley.

    Comment by Cammie99 — August 12, 2012 @ 7:15 am

  12. Cammie,

    I am not trying to create drama but didn’t you jump on me over responding to a question about Reality Steve’s issues with Holly?

    IMHO, posters should feel free to comment on the show and the blog but should refrain from attacking each other.

    They should add to what is being said — or otherwise just ignore the comment. No one wants to feel attacked just for voicing an opinion.

    Cammie — you are controlling. You have jumped on my case over responding honestly and (in my view) helpfully to a quest that you took issue with since that information (which is in the public domain) which happened to reflect poorly on someone you liked.

    So, you really can’t talk. Just let people say what they will. If you don’t like what someone else says, just ignore it…Everyone has a right to free speech, not just you.

    A lot of people don’t like to post because they get jumped on for having an opinion.

    Please don’t freak out over this post either. I really meant it when I said to take a deep breath on the other blog post comments section as you seem to jump off the handle and get emotional and reactive over comments you don’t like.

    You would be wise to take your own advice. JMHO.

    Comment by Fan — August 12, 2012 @ 9:54 am

  13. *sorry for typos

    Comment by Fan — August 12, 2012 @ 9:54 am

  14. As stated, these shows and characters are not that important. People just post on down time in the midst of busy work days. I don’t think these characters care what we say about them (Erica, notwithstanding). They are used to being in the public eye, and as far as they are concerned, we are faceless people behind a computer who don’t know them. A lot of people talk smack about them. Others are fans. It comes with the territory. What would concern them more is if we stopped talking about them altogether, which most of would do as they just aren’t that important in the scheme of things. Most of us don’t take them or this show very seriously.

    Comment by Fan — August 12, 2012 @ 9:58 am

  15. @ Cammie — Beth was just defending Ashley Spivey. Obviously someone very spiteful was behind that comment, and who’s to say everyone would know that wasn’t hers? I find it commendable when someone defends another person’s honor.

    The only drama here is you accusing Beth Holler of creating drama. And please stop talking about RS. Most of us don’t care and don’t even get what THAT drama is about.

    Comment by Anna — August 12, 2012 @ 9:14 pm

  16. @Anna Totally agree with you! Cammie, you need to stop coming here and creating your own drama and then accuse Beth of creating drama. Enough about RS, he is an idiot who enticed Holly, Erica, and Ellen to give him spoilers and then offered to pay 3 girls from Ben’s season’s for spoilers. Mike Fleiss has great leverage on this douche bag and he used it well making RS remove the bachelor pad spoilers. Cammie, get out of her and take your drama to Reality Steve’s page!

    Comment by BrianJ — August 13, 2012 @ 4:26 pm

  17. Thanks Anna and Brian! I didn’t respond to her because I figured she would just be mean to me again. On Ashley’s blog from two weeks ago I was very nice in a response to her (Cammie) and she came back and was rude to me. Then she said she had a stressful week so I said that I forgave her ( I did). My original comment on the blog was that I wanted people to stop posting about RS on the blog because it was only causing problems and it was Ashley’s blog not Steve’s. I wrote my comment in defense of Ashley on this blog because I didn’t know if she knew someone was pretending to be her, and she already gets a lot of hate, so I didn’t want her to get more because someone is acting as her and saying things to make her look bad. I’m a very sympathetic and caring person. I don’t try to create drama nor do I find enjoyment in drama. I come on the boards to try to keep positive and be a supporter of the former contestants. If my need to defend people and try to keep the peace is seen as trying to start drama, then somebody please tell me how to appropriately stick up for people. @Chris- I am sorry for getting the comment thread off topic! Please look past the petty comments. Keep writing! :) Have a nice day!

    Comment by Beth Holler — August 14, 2012 @ 6:21 pm

  18. I can’t believe how people go on and on, that first she said this, then she said that, I mean who cares.

    Anyway, it’s like Fan said, for the bach guests who go under the limelight again with their blogs, do they even realize that they will get attention – some pos and some neg? I mean, don’t even *try* to prolong your 15 minutes if you can’t take the heat.

    Comment by Melinda — August 15, 2012 @ 11:53 am

  19. Aww, Beth you didn’t thank me. :(

    You really dont need to defend reality show contestants. Save your energies for something more meaningful. :)

    Comment by Fan — August 15, 2012 @ 12:06 pm

  20. @Fan- Awww, I’m sorry! Thank you! Your comments were spot on and I appreciate them! I know I don’t have to defend reality stars, but I like to. I defend Ashley really more than anyone as she has been very kind to me and stood up for me once. When I have low moments, I can message her on twitter and she’ll talk to me and give me advice. I feel like if I can defend her, I should. I just feel bad because for some reason, people really hate her. That’s all. But you’re right, I can spend my energy on lots of other meaningful things! Have a great week, Fan! :)

    Comment by Beth Holler — August 16, 2012 @ 5:29 pm

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