Chris “SWAT” Bain’s Bachelor Pad Blog: Episode 1

WOW! Where to begin? I started this journey as a huge fan of the Bachelor/Bachelorette series and never in a thousand years thought that I could be apart of it. However, while watching every DVR’d episode of each season I would feel that I would be a better fit than 99% of the other chosen cast members. I’m a guy’s guy that was brought up in the South by two amazing parents that just recently celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. Good morals and values were instilled in me at a very young age. I know how to treat a woman. I’m also a bit of a hopeless romantic.

I applied for the Bachelor Pad and received that phone call from LA. Next thing I knew I was stepping out of a limo and shaking Chris Harrison’s hand, or in this case taking a picture with Chris. I’ve got to say, Chris is a stand up guy and it was great having that opportunity to meet him. I’m not going to lie; I was probably most excited about meeting Chris Harrison.

Now, I’m making my entry into this mansion that I have watched all these other tools walk into so many times. One thing is going through my head, over and over. Be yourself, don’t try to be anything other than yourself and everything will be ok. After all, I do have a great set of parents that I don’t want to embarrass. I’m also representing the city that I work for and my profession as a whole.

Immediately after making my entry into “The Pad” I’m confronted with ED in the amazing drunken state that he was in. ED is a great guy and just wants to have a good time, but boy was he WASTED! Immediately I felt like I was at a disadvantage not only because I was a “newbie”, but also because I’m not much of a drinker.

My game plan was clearly to weasel my way in with the “veterans”, find love, and win the pot. All was going well until David and “The Twins” won the first challenge and were given immunity at the first rose ceremony. Not only did this make me the only guy “fan” that could be voted off, but David was about to run his mouth to the queen bitch of the mansion. David came up with this plan to vote off the veterans in order to gain superiority in the house. I guess David didn’t run the numbers very well because this strategy was going to require at least 3 veteran guys and girls to vote one of their own off. Good Luck!

David was discussing his “plan” with me while Erica walked up behind him. I made several attempts at trying to get him to shut it before she heard what was being discussed. No such luck. David is not the observant type! David proceeded to show his cards to Erica and let it all hang out. I knew at this point that my hours at the mansion were potentially going to be cut short.

You’re probably wondering why in the hell did I vote one of my own off. Paige is such a sweetheart and I have nothing but love for Paige and she knows it. Prior to my vote I spoke with another one of the guys that I had developed a relationship with in the house. This discussion went along the lines of, I know I’m going home tonight, what can I do to help you? I’m always looking out for my boys; I’m a guy’s guy. Nonetheless, this was a tough decision for me as I really loved Paige and felt terrible for voting against her. If I knew my vote was going to be the determining factor of her continued residency at the mansion, I may have voted differently.

“SWAT” goes home early! I will say that this was an amazing experience and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. The environment that I was placed into was far from the ordinary for me and I definitely did not have any romantic interest in any of the female housemates. It was time for “SWAT’s” departure!

My Favs: Reid, ED, Nick, Tony, Ryan, Blakely, Paige, and Donna.

In closing… The amount of love that has been shown toward me is tremendous and I’ve done my best to get back to all of you. If I haven’t gotten back to you, it doesn’t mean that I haven’t seen your kind words! Check back next Monday for my new blog!



  1. You did your parents proud. I was really pulling hard for you to stay. David will go soon – too much mouth. I did see a post today by William from Ashley’s season and he said he was “still shocked by how the fans were treated last night. We are not all like that. We are not real celebrities.” Yay for William. I was incredibly disappointed by so many – some of them are just awful people. Hope you meet a wonderful girl — you’ll probably be run over by women after how you handled yourself last night.

    Comment by Kim Millinder — July 24, 2012 @ 2:50 pm

  2. You were great and I was sad that you left so early. Way to go against David though. Better luck next time and good luck on your journey of love.

    Comment by Jessica — July 24, 2012 @ 2:57 pm

  3. I enjoyed your blog! It was great to see a nice, Southern guy with good values. Wish you could have stuck around longer. (I don’t see David lasting long after that slip-up.) It was a tough spot you were in decision-wise…I was extremely disappointed to see Paige go home. I would have loved to see how things played out with her and Reid since they seemed very compatible. But in the end, it is a game and that’s how things go sometimes. I think you and Paige will both find someone great. Looking forward to your future Bachelor Pad blogs!

    Comment by Amanda — July 24, 2012 @ 3:50 pm

  4. Nice blog! But I was disappointed that you voted Paige off. Can’t always be a man’s man, you should’ve helped her out. Why are the one’s that are the trouble makers (Erika) not the first to get voted off. I can’t even stand to look at her or listen to her talk. I wanted to kiss Kalon for thinking on his own and voting her off.

    Ed, honestly, he’s like a male Erika, ugly, and annoying. Those two should hook up.

    Comment by Kerri — July 24, 2012 @ 5:27 pm

  5. I was sad to see you go so early! Great blog, I will keep reading …it is definitely refreshing to have seen some “real” people on the show…you represented us fans well!

    Comment by Dee Tee — July 24, 2012 @ 7:05 pm

  6. You are cool. Stay away from Ali, she is evil. Trista is the old hag crow.

    Comment by Eve — July 24, 2012 @ 8:19 pm

  7. Chris –

    It’s clearly evident by your words that you did not belong in “The Pad” even though the way you went out was BOGUS. Now you can (and surely will) be part of the next Batchelorette season and join the classiest show in the franchise. Much better suited to a stand up guy as yourself. If you are still single by that time which I highly doubt… It’s a no brainer… Delighted to see that you are blogging! That will be a great part of the fun watching this funny train wreck of a show. Thanks!!

    Comment by Jen — July 25, 2012 @ 5:12 am

  8. You are such a breath of fresh air! I was so bummed to see you go last night.

    Comment by Sarah — July 25, 2012 @ 8:24 am

  9. You were completely out of your league. You will get noticed by women, but no one as classy as Paige, Emily, etc. You were an idiot to send Paige home, but ABC probably needed the disaster, Emily, to stay for ratings. People think that you’re a good guy, but a true gentleman would never have picked Emily-shedevil over sweet Paige. You blew it!

    Comment by Amy — July 25, 2012 @ 10:07 am

  10. I feel like you voted for Paige just like you didn’t want to be the first and only new one to go. Understandable, but:
    You seemed like a nice, clever guy and I’d like to have seen more of you, but I’m dissapointed. I’m sure Paige had your back and Erica surely didn’t.
    That David is obviously not that clever, but the show did this whole thing completely the wrong way. Maybe they should just drop the fan thing altogether if they do a new season is what I’m thinking.
    Even though some/most of th people that have already been on the show are so full of themselves….for what?! Just because you have been on a reality show?! So stupid.
    I must be reeeeaally bored if I watch BP 3 again.

    Comment by SJ — July 25, 2012 @ 12:07 pm

  11. I am so sorry for how that turned out. Honestly, you and Paige were the two fan contestants that I rooted for, and now I can’t say that I have a whole lot of sympathy for the remaining fans in Bachelor Pad. Best of luck to you!

    Comment by Lauren — July 25, 2012 @ 12:49 pm

  12. I’m going to order a life-like silicone doll that looks just like Emily. It doesn’t talk back or express opinions so that’s great and it’s warm and I can even cuddle with it. If anyone is interested, just google “human-size silicone dolls.” You have to make sure you clean all the orifices regularly though. And don’t beat up the dolls – I had an off day and banged up one of my dolls and her face is deformed and I am so mad at myself for doing that. I am going to order soon and am so excited. I have 3 sitting in my apartment (Kelli, Mandi & Cyndi). Kelli is my “wife” and the other two are girlfriends. Best thing I have EVER done for myself since the divorces.

    Comment by Bachobserver31 — July 25, 2012 @ 1:44 pm

  13. I was SOOOO sad to see you go… you were definitely one of my favorites!!!

    Comment by Jess — July 25, 2012 @ 3:01 pm

  14. You are awesome! You should never have been voted off. You are way to good to be on this show, anyway. I wish you lots of luck.

    Comment by Lisa — July 25, 2012 @ 4:02 pm

  15. p.s. SWAT could you tell who had real ones or fake ones on Blakely, Donna and Erica? I prefer fake because real ones sag. Also I am used to silicone. Thanks man.

    Comment by Bachobserver_31 — July 25, 2012 @ 4:58 pm

  16. I thought that your vote was pathetic. Originally you seemed nice, but you quickly showed your true colors when you took the other fans down with you. (Psst. Here is a secret, it was always vets versus fans.)

    I guess if you didn’t get to have fun, they shouldn’t either. Right, oh spiteful one?

    Comment by LCMB — July 25, 2012 @ 8:34 pm

  17. @ LCMB – SWAT was pissed at David’s dumbazz rambling and took down the plan because it was so stupid. They didn’t have the numbers. Why should he be loyal to Paige when he was getting along with other members in the house?

    Or maybe “the producers” did a little coaxing to keep Erica around for the drama and torture she’ll inflict on David..

    Comment by Sophie — July 25, 2012 @ 10:34 pm

  18. deep in the soul in are heart you break my heart in are face so soft like in are in are mind cute guy lift in
    is arm

    Comment by sarahsoto — July 26, 2012 @ 9:22 am

  19. walk sun set like rich men big castle Iam sigel woman no kids i need boy friend i am super model and rock star
    in a band name band is rock roll and song too lady gaga

    Comment by sarahsoto — July 26, 2012 @ 9:37 am

  20. After all the snobby attitudes on the first night I was sad to see you and Paige go but I wish you had not voted for Paige.

    Comment by LC — July 27, 2012 @ 1:09 am

  21. I’ve seen the Bachelor(ette), but never Bachelor Pad, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. Holy moly…can you say drama?!
    Chris “SWAT”…I was sad see you go so early, as you seemed like a decent guy and I just might’ve had a little crush, but it is what it is…you’ve gotta play the game the best you know how, and sometimes you have very little say in how the pieces fall. Besides, it was pretty early to know who you could trust/have much of a strategy going. I can understand your voting the way you did, but I probably would’ve kept Paige had it been me.
    Great blog…good luck to you and your future endeavors! ;)

    Comment by Chelsie_ann — July 29, 2012 @ 4:57 pm

  22. Hated to see you go! I love your down-to-earth personality. You should have gone all the way, but you got screwed. David doesn’t have much between his ears. If he was a true fan, he would have known how to play the game. His days are numbered.
    I hope you find what you are looking for. She will be one lucky lady! :)

    Comment by Racille Brown — July 29, 2012 @ 8:03 pm

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