Chris Bukowski’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 1

Sister Christian oh the night has come, and I know that Sean is hoping to find “the one.” Tears, drama and an overuse of the word “rose” are what we’ve been longing for, and it’s finally here. Welcome back Bachelor Nation! The highly anticipated premiere of The Bachelor has come and gone, but it was one for the books. Who better than Mr. America himself to grace us with his presence for many more Monday nights to come. Its crazy how time flies and how it seems like just yesterday I was meeting Sean on the first night of the Bachelorette. It was tough remembering everyone’s name on the first night, so I labeled Sean as the “Big Guy” from Texas. Well, this big guy is in for quite the natural disaster after watching the first episode.

Let’s get this thing started. The season kicks off with America being re-introduced to Sean. He should seriously be wearing an American Flag, or Statue of Liberty costume, he’s the genuine all-American guy. Let me not waste any of your time and just say that Sean is the perfect guy for this show. He likes long walks on the beach, has a six-pack, and a smile that would make any woman and even some men melt. In all seriousness, I wish my friendship with Sean started a lot earlier on Emily’s season rather than later. He is truly a genuine guy and wishes only the best upon others. THIS MAN DESERVES LOVE! We can’t wait to watch him (hopefully) find the love of his life, and even more so, we can’t help but wait to see what train wrecks are in store for him.

After we meet Sean, it’s time for our old dainty friend Arie to come back and give Sean some “advice.” Arie tells Sean that this is going to be difficult for him… Hopefully meaning that it will be difficult for Sean to keep that body over this love journey. Let’s be serious, they were both thinking that this is going to be the time of Sean’s life and Arie would love to be in his shoes (so would I). After Sean and Arie get done drinking, which must have been pure Kool-Aid, they begin to make out and grope each other. The show is now cancelled and Sean proposes to Arie. Someone get me a drink please. Seriously, I NEED A DRINK! Take notes, this could be the twist of the century.

After the bromance is over we are reminded that Sean will actually be meeting 25 girls or 26 (Thank God). I’m hoping maybe next season they’ll up the ante to 50 girls. Now that would be a great time.

Get ready to unleash your inner beast, ladies, you’re in for a wild ride and we know there’s going to come a time when you’re going to want to go West Virginia hood rat backwoods on someone’s ass. (Just ask Emily Maynard.)

As the girls approach Sean, a few got my attention early on. I’ll start with Lindsay, wearing a wedding dress is pretty ballsy and I think that’s awesome. Seriously, people are going to judge you on this show anyway so why not give them reason to? Selma, her name says it all. She’s super hot, I really don’t know what else to say, but her face made a great first impression. Tierra, have to throw in the drama queen. Not only does she get the first impression rose, she gets it before she ever even steps foot in the house.

Wait, she gets the first impression rose? I thought that went to Arie?

Anyway, back to the girls. Last but definitely not least, Kacie B. So glad to see Kacie back, and going after love with a guy who seems to be the male version of herself. It should be fun to see how that goes. Glad to see that Paige got a chance to be on the show, it might not have lasted very long, but it was worth a shot to have the chance to love on Sean Lowe’s abs.

Back it up a minute, can we mention that Robyn flipped…then flopped straight on her face, in front of Sean? She should have gotten a rose for that. She could’ve seriously damaged her face on the concrete. Hell, she could’ve left bloodstains on the immaculate concrete that was leading up to Sean.

We go inside to the scenery we’ve seen so many times before. Twenty-some people dressed in their best, drinking (some drinking way too much, it wouldn’t be Bachelor without those people) and awaiting their fate with Sean.

Kacie walks in and the claws come out. Looks like some of these girls are downright pissed off.

To sum up the night; girls drink then they cry, they get mad, they bitch about not getting enough attention, and they juke the air while Sean’s talking to another girl…yep, welcome to The Bachelor, where love is found and ”girl on girl” takes on a whole new meaning.

My dancing on The Bachelorette may not have been the best, but after watching Ashley P. dry hump the air, I’m feeling pretty damn good about myself.

Since the anticipation for the premiere is over, here’s something else to look forward to… I’ll be opening up a restaurant/bar in the DC Metro area. Keep your eyes peeled, as we’ll be announcing the name this Friday. Looking forward to serving Bachelor Nation!

Until next time…

Chris B

35 Comments »

  1. Love the blog Chris! Great job for your first ever blog. = )
    Couldn’t agree more on your comments about Sean (even when you were joking) teehee! He is the perfect All-American guy.
    xoxo

    Comment by Jennifer — January 9, 2013 @ 11:08 am

  2. Hi,Chris,

    I still think you are a narcissistic @ssh@le, based upon your appearance on the Bach-ette and BP. Your writing also sucks.

    Stick to your day job. What is it you do again?

    Comment by Ann — January 9, 2013 @ 11:25 am

  3. Oh yes, the “Bachelor Nation” bar. Great career choice especially as this franchise has become the joke of the reality TV world. I guess it’s true that you split the money with Nick after all. What a doofus.

    Comment by Ann — January 9, 2013 @ 11:28 am

  4. Great Blog!!!Look forward to reading more. I like your comparison to your own experiences on the show.

    Comment by Shawna — January 9, 2013 @ 11:56 am

  5. Don’t let the other girls hate on you, Chris. You are making B-Town proud! Good for you, way to go.

    Comment by Jenni — January 9, 2013 @ 12:13 pm

  6. Ok I will definitely be reading Chris’ blog after every episode. KEEP IT UP BECAUSE IT’S ACCURATE!

    Comment by Clarissa — January 9, 2013 @ 12:16 pm

  7. Love it! Great job on the blog. I’ll definitely be looking forward to next weeks!

    Comment by Amanda — January 9, 2013 @ 12:21 pm

  8. Chris; have u not have u day in fame yet? ughhh enough already
    give it a rest
    what is your day job anyway? what do u do; other then
    try and be famous from being dumped and backstabbing everyone else?

    Comment by jeanne rallo — January 9, 2013 @ 12:27 pm

  9. :) Next time put YOUR favs/your favorites for Sean/who you think the final four are too!

    Comment by Jessica — January 9, 2013 @ 12:34 pm

  10. Great blog Chris!!

    Comment by Athena — January 9, 2013 @ 12:42 pm

  11. Good blog. However my favorite part is the crazy people hating on you, yet their the ones reading your blog. You must be doing something right, keep it up!!

    Comment by Amanda — January 9, 2013 @ 12:44 pm

  12. Look forward to reading next weeks. You were one of my favorites on Bachelorette and BP.

    Comment by Stephanie — January 9, 2013 @ 12:50 pm

  13. Wow, some people should stick to keeping their mouth closed. Watching your journey has been so fun Chris. I think it’s hilarious that people are so easy to judge when I am sure they have had not so fine moments in life. I love the blog and am so excited to see what happens with Sean.

    Tell Chris Harrison to make you the next Bachelor! I have some cute friends I could send your way :)

    Obviously some peoples strong point is not reading because had they taken the time to read the blog before getting excited about what catty comment they were going to leave they would have read that your day job is……….opening your own bar not to mention the other great things you are doing in life. Keep up the good work!

    People who have to come and leave rude comments should probably consider getting a day job because you have to much time on your hands.

    Comment by Jen — January 9, 2013 @ 1:06 pm

  14. Chris-
    Don’t listen to the haters! Your writing is awesome! Can’t wait to read it weekly. Congrats on your Restaurants you make B-town proud!!

    Comment by Brooke — January 9, 2013 @ 1:07 pm

  15. C’mon people, how boring would Bach Pad 3 have been without Chris’s antics?!! Give him a break! I’m enjoying your blog, Chris (otherwise known as King of All Douchebags). ;-)

    Comment by Beth — January 9, 2013 @ 1:12 pm

  16. This was a great blog. I enjoyed your take on the show and giggled more then once.
    Great job!

    Comment by Claudia — January 9, 2013 @ 1:52 pm

  17. Thank you all for commenting! First ever BLOG… it was fun, and I can’t wait until next week.

    Comment by Chris Bukowski — January 9, 2013 @ 3:37 pm

  18. Congrats, Chris! Great job! You are a natural born blogger! It’s always good to have some male input on the situation! Ashley P? Bless her heart, she’s crazy as all-get-out…but hilarious! I was actually sad to see her go. Ignore the haters, Chris. Their opinion of you is no more important than the cashier’s at Wal-Mart that checked you out yesterday and you probably don’t even remember what they looked like! Feel better, yet? Best of luck with your restaurant! Hit me up on Twitter @PiperFaust and I’ll give your bar & Bachelor blog some shout-outs, mm’kay? ;)

    Comment by Piper Faust — January 9, 2013 @ 6:14 pm

  19. Haha! so good, Love this Chris! Please write one every week… youre hilarious! was sad no one brought bobble heads this time! :( congrats on the restraunt!!

    Comment by Taylor — January 9, 2013 @ 6:30 pm

  20. Amazing job! Nice to hear from the guy’s perspective (and experienced!). Who can judge a guy for having fun in the BP? Haters. Love you Chris!

    Comment by Brandi — January 9, 2013 @ 6:39 pm

  21. Congrats on your first blog Chris! You have no idea how much I enjoyed it. I felt like I was hearing you say everything rather than reading it. Loved the sense of humor and I found your comments very accurate. It’s funny because you mention Sean being the all American boy and I was just telling my sister he looks like one of those lifeguards you see on movies lol. Sean’s way too nice though, I feel the girls are going to take advantage of him. I really really REALLY wish he finds true love, of course I wish that for you too for being such a great guy. Will be looking forward to the next blog!

    Comment by Adriana — January 9, 2013 @ 6:42 pm

  22. I never understand the need for catty comments. You don’t like it, and I guess you don’t like him either, whatever. Why are you reading it and how do you even know about it unless you subscribe to his Twitter/Facebook? There is never an excuse to be mean…that’s just low class. You sit there and say that the Bachelor shows are the joke of reality tv? That one made me laugh out loud. Those three shows are probably the most popular reality shows on tv, if you think about it. And don’t judge someone until you are put in a similar situation. I thought the blog was great, especially for a first time. Keep it up!

    Comment by Shannon — January 9, 2013 @ 6:44 pm

  23. I really enjoyed your blog. You did hit on a lot of good ideas and points. Couldn’t agree with you more on your view. I hope you continue to post every week.

    Comment by Maria — January 9, 2013 @ 6:49 pm

  24. Where in DC??? -Erin from the RVA #chicagogirlatheart

    Comment by Erin Walters — January 9, 2013 @ 7:05 pm

  25. I thought Lacey looked a LOT like Emily Maynard. Anybody else see it? Wonder if that factored into her elimination? Good blog!

    Comment by Bex — January 9, 2013 @ 8:46 pm

  26. A bunch of ladies running their mouth is all I’m reading here! You’re hot, you’re single, you’re you. Laugh at them like a Courtney Robertson laugh “winning” cause obviously they’re jealous of your success. I loved watching both the seasons you were on! Um yeah have a great day and can’t wait to read the next block.

    Comment by Andrea — January 9, 2013 @ 9:14 pm

  27. I meant blog. I was funching to fast!

    Comment by Andrea — January 9, 2013 @ 9:15 pm

  28. @ bex-Yes Lacey looked like a younger version of Maynard…Im sure that is why Sean sent her home night 1, he is so over Maynard and doesnt even want to be reminded of her in anyway again!

    Comment by Cy — January 9, 2013 @ 10:30 pm

  29. Okay I will admit, I’m not your biggest fan to say the least, but I was pleasantly surprised when reading your blog because I think you did a great job. I like your honesty about what this show really is and I’m glad you’re not afraid to tell the truth. So many past contestants are constantly kissing up to Mike Fleiss and ABC and it’s refreshing to see someone tell it like it is.

    Comment by MarieF — January 10, 2013 @ 10:12 am

  30. Great first time blog. Keep it up! So glad to see a new blogger on here who makes sense.

    Comment by Melinda — January 11, 2013 @ 5:16 am

  31. Great job Chris! I have followed you since your first episode. I think you are doing amazing things with your life and I wish you much continued success in the future. Hope to meet you on the streets of Chi-Town someday :)

    Comment by Jennifer T — January 11, 2013 @ 9:32 pm

  32. Not sure why you’ve been chosen to write a blog about the show – guessing that you lobbied to be able to do this in the hopes of redefining your image.
    Have to admit that after seeing you on both The Bachelor and Bachelor Pad – and being a mental health professional I find you immature and narcissistic.
    I also think that viewing your behavior – even though it is obviously from a distance and edited – that you have a chip on your shoulder and a nasty disposition. All that being said, your blog is better than I would have expected.

    Comment by Cheryl — January 12, 2013 @ 12:49 pm

  33. I agree with Cheryl.

    Christ has narcissistic personality disorder and is seriously immature. His intelligence, as demonstrated in this blog, is at least above average. I am not impressed with him as a human being. As for why post if I don’t like him? I SKIMMED the blog. And I check in to this site, not for Chris, but all blogs, just to read impressions.

    I love how people who write “there” as “their,” think they can comment on someone who is not a fan.

    He is a womanizer and user and a disgrace to his family. Chris tells it like it is. I tell him like it is. Trust me, if he were commenting on a blog, he wouldn’t gush praise just for the hell of it either.

    Comment by lois — January 15, 2013 @ 10:44 am

  34. Good job!! :)

    Comment by Anna Robinson — January 16, 2013 @ 1:36 pm

  35. Love the blog! You’re funny, keep ‘em comin’

    Comment by Susan — January 17, 2013 @ 5:18 pm

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