Chris Bukowski’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 3

Let’s get right into it this week. This episode finally got steamy…in the passionate way and in the dramatic way. Lesley got the first one-on-one date where her and Sean made history…literally. They got to make out for 3 and 1/2 minutes to break the Guinness Book of World Records record for longest on screen kiss. Score one for both of them, and score one for the guys watching at home while watching Lesley’s little dress slowly hiked up higher with a back view of her for 3 minutes. I’m not really sure what the chemistry is between these two. All I know is if I were kissing a girl for three minutes I’d have her on the ground and would be rounding third base by the third minute.

On to the beach. Sean does push-ups with a girl on his back…who didn’t see that coming? The “volleyball” game basically looks like a bunch of wild spring breakers throwing their bikini bodies all over the place. Are they seriously trying to impress this guy? One team wins. One team cries. The winner of bad move of the night goes to Kacie B. who moves from the friend zone to the crazy zone in 3 seconds. The losing team cries and gets taken away in a van. The scene I was expecting was for Tierra to spike the ball in someone’s face, but her bitch move comes when she decides to trick Selma into thinking she’s going on the date by reading her name on the date card with AshLee’s. Ouch! None of the girls thought this was funny, so as crazy goes Tierra decides to throw herself down the stairs. Is that really the first time someone has fallen down those stairs? I find that hard to believe. Long story short, ambulance comes, Tierra becomes a real-life bobblehead doll, and snags some alone time with Sean. AshLee is pissed, but pretends she isn’t.

Sean takes AshLee to an amusement park where he also invited two girls with chronic illness who’ve become best friends through a social network. AshLee isn’t pissed and actually reacts very well. I can’t help wonder how Tierra would have acted on this date.

Side notes of this episode: Kristie’s model face is not pretty while crying. Sean surprises Sarah with her dog Leo who arrives in a limo. Kacie is sent home in a mini-van. Tierra’s personality hasn’t been affected by her head injury as she fights to get the most alone time with Sean during the cocktail party.

Early predictions anyone?

I like Lindsay, Selma, and Leslie M (She’s from DC)

Until next time…

Chris B


  1. In a hurry much? No bueno.

    Comment by Michelle — January 23, 2013 @ 1:14 pm

  2. Nice blog! Tierra is a fat ass in her bikini. Can’t wait to see her sent home.

    Comment by Melonie — January 23, 2013 @ 1:37 pm

  3. rushed blog, felt like I got the cliff notes verison. No personality at all.

    Comment by Jessica — January 23, 2013 @ 1:38 pm

  4. Feels rushed. You gave minimal effort with this blog and it shows.

    Comment by Annyong — January 23, 2013 @ 1:39 pm

  5. I agree with everyone. Put the blog up later and with more thought rather than earlier and rushed. We like to know your inside opinions!

    Comment by Kaitlyn — January 23, 2013 @ 2:08 pm

  6. It’s a bad sign when a bachelor blog takes me less than 30 seconds to read. Give us more of your insight, since you’ve gone through the process! That is my favorite part about reading these blogs!

    Comment by Jen — January 23, 2013 @ 2:37 pm

  7. boo

    Comment by Shakisha — January 23, 2013 @ 3:02 pm

  8. “The “volleyball” game basically looks like a bunch of wild spring breakers throwing their bikini bodies all over the place. Are they seriously trying to impress this guy?”

    I totally didn’t see that. I guess we got insight into how you see women. They were just playing Volleyball. Where did this “wild spring breakers” and “throwing their bikini bodies” observation come from?

    No one ripped off her top, screamed, acted like a crazy, drunk. I don’t understand where this came from.

    Comment by umm — January 23, 2013 @ 3:04 pm

  9. By the way, is it ok if I call you “bird man” or “baby blue muppet eagle?”

    Sorry. needed a laugh after reading your dreary blog lol

    Comment by umm — January 23, 2013 @ 3:07 pm

  10. Love the blog!! And it is called a blog, not a book. You just can’t please everyone. Love your sense of humor. It was great seeing you yesterday and Savannah loves you!!! Thank you :-)

    Comment by KellyMc — January 23, 2013 @ 3:26 pm

  11. Yuck…you’re back to stretch your 15 min. This recap is terrible. Time to go back to obscurity.

    Comment by jessie — January 23, 2013 @ 3:27 pm

  12. Awful bl

    Comment by Beth — January 23, 2013 @ 3:51 pm

  13. Awful blog…awful. Where’s spivey?

    Comment by Beth — January 23, 2013 @ 3:52 pm

  14. It’s not the size of the blog, it’s what you do with it. Bravo, my friend. You did not disappoint! Short, but still sweet.

    Comment by Susan — January 23, 2013 @ 4:00 pm

  15. Chris, this post made me laugh out loud several times! I love how blatantly honest you are about how stupid, cheesy, and awkward thingd are in the show. Haha, still laughing. Thanks for bringing your Chris-ly ways to this season. LOVE YOU!

    Comment by Paige — January 23, 2013 @ 4:06 pm

  16. Annyong

    Comment by Annyong — January 23, 2013 @ 4:24 pm

  17. Everyone is being so hard on you in the comments — don’t listen to the haters! You wrote the truth, and did a great job of it!

    Comment by Paige — January 23, 2013 @ 4:27 pm

  18. @Beth- Ashley Spivey isn’t blogging this season. It is a lot of work and she just isn’t feeling up to it. She might do 10 pics a week, though. Btw, just so you commenters know I am not the same Beth as the one I am responding to. lol

    Comment by Beth H — January 23, 2013 @ 7:13 pm

  19. Wow dude- as clever and fun as you have been to get to know, that was soooooo BLAH!!! Sounds like conversations I have in my head watching the show. Expected a lot more big guy! Man up, throw out perceptions- we have tivo for the summary. What do you really think abput each girl? Why? What does Sean think? Why do you think that? Geezus, am I seriously giving blogger advice?

    Comment by Cathy — January 23, 2013 @ 7:45 pm

  20. You suck Chris. And you are a sexist pig.

    Comment by jessie — January 23, 2013 @ 9:09 pm

  21. The first jessie comment is nmine. The second is a different jessie, but I certainly agree!

    Comment by jessie — January 24, 2013 @ 6:32 am

  22. I would have to third that comment by Jessie!

    Comment by Vanessa — January 24, 2013 @ 12:06 pm

  23. OMG “good thing AshLee isn’t pissed” about the girls who have a chronic disease – are you serious Chris? Gawd, you really ARE a pig.

    Comment by marti — January 26, 2013 @ 11:23 am

  24. Chris, first of all I’m sorry people are giving you such a hard time here. I guess it is because of the Bachelor Pad.
    I did really like you in Emily’s season though.
    And nothing wrong with this blogs, I get your jokes.. LOL about Tierras bubblehead (using references from your season).

    My favorite is Lesley! She seems real, and doesn’t suck up quite as much as other girls to Sean with comments like “Oh, gosh, I’m your perfect woman, I’m so family oriented and spiritual and exactly what you want me to be” (even though she too had a comment like that).

    Selma is gorgeous, and clever when it comes to knowing how to be on tv. Nothing about her that I don’t like so far. More of her.

    Would like to see Daniella with Sean for once, she’s entertaining, but I don’t see them being a good match, so I want to see her with him to see why she still keeps her around. At this time

    I want to see more of Leslie M and Catherine! So far I like them, but we don’t know enough about them as we get only 1 minute clips of them both,

    Not a fan of Robyn and Desiree. Robyn was one of my favorites in the beginning, but has acted a little bitchy so far. And Desiree…I don’t even know why I like her, she is pretty, sweet, maybe a little too sweet for me to believe her?

    Tierra and Amanda are good TV.

    Comment by SJ — January 28, 2013 @ 3:16 am

  25. Since everyone is ragging on Chris, I thought I would chime in. Chris, your writing is atrocious! Not only for its lack of personality, but basic sentence structure and grammar.

    Here’s one example:

    “Lesley got the first one-on-one date where her and Sean made history…literally.”

    Now, I understand when bachelor nation players use “him and I” and “her and I” when reading illiterate producer cue cards, but really, Chris?

    Her and Sean? Would you say, “Her made history?”

    If you are going to be out in the public eye, you may want to learn some grammar rules or minimally have someone proof read your blogs.

    Just a thought. :)

    PS You are a sexist pig! Boooo! :(

    Comment by page — January 28, 2013 @ 3:24 pm

  26. Love the blog man! All these girls that don’t understand humor calling you a sexist pig piss me off, so I thought I should defend a little

    Comment by Wahid — January 28, 2013 @ 9:21 pm

  27. (That’s a whole lot of anger being dished, y’all… mercy.) If Tierra’s as mean as she seems on the show and Sean’s as amazing/genuine as he seems, then I hope very much that gets squashed before he gets hurt. I think AshLee and Des seems like the best combination of ‘great hearts’ and the attraction piece. Selma, Lindsay and Leslie would round out my top 5. (I love Des, though, I hope we get to see more of who she is and their dynamic.)

    Comment by Kristin — January 29, 2013 @ 12:02 pm

  28. First one I’ve actually read all the way through without just skimming! I love the short, direct and to the point, way of delivering. It’s still dribble but who has time to read over and over how much someone loved, or didn’t, someone else’s choice of attire? Not I.

    Comment by spellingnazi — February 3, 2013 @ 3:04 pm

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