Chris “SWAT” Bain’s Bachelor Pad Blog: Episode 2

Alright, so I want to start off by re-addressing last week’s episode and reiterate to everyone that either failed to understand what I had mentioned in last week’s blog entry or just simply did not read it. My decision to vote off Paige was solely based on a last minute discussion that I had with another “veteran” cast mate. I knew I was headed for the limo and I wanted to help my veteran boys. At this point in the game I had developed the strongest relationship with several of the guys in the house and was partial to helping them out in any way that I could. This was my way of helping them get one step closer at winning the game. Erica was by far my first choice to send packing, but this is a game and you cannot allow personal emotions to get involved. Look on the bright side, maybe there will be another egg throwing challenge and we’ll get to see her whole backside full of egg again.

 

Now, with that aside lets move on to episode 2 of this nonsense they call Bachelor

Pad. We start off tonight’s episode with Erica showing her hate toward David for trying to vote her off on last week’s episode and the twins arguing about who knows what. Boy, are we in for a treat! I do, however believe the twins actions were the result of several adult beverages.

Rhythmic gymnastics. I would like to thank the girls for voting me off on the first episode to save me the embarrassment. I’m not very coordinated and have absolutely zero dance skills. I’m white! I do feel like I would have looked pretty good in a leotard though. Guess we’ll never know! David seems to be pretty nervous going into this challenge, as he should be with his antics from last week’s episode. While watching the challenge I was extremely embarrassed for Erica. Not only did she have the coordination of a 2 year old but also, she looked awful (oops! I wore a dress!) and appeared to be in her own world. I would like to make a public apology for not voting her off last week. Now, I’m going to have to suffer watching her with the rest of you until they get her removed from the pad. Something tells me this won’t take too long though. The girls look horrendous and the guys don’t look much better. Stagliano wins on the guys’ side and Blakeley wins on the girls’ side. David is sweatin’ bullets about going home and Erica is wishing that she wouldn’t have worn a dress. Erica now holds the lead for finishing last in the most challenges, 2.

Each winner gets to go on a 3 on 1 date. Stagliano picks Donna, Rachel, and Lindzi to go on a date with. Erica shows her ass again by making another dumbass comment saying “If Donna gets a rose to go on a date over me I would be pissed because a fan shouldn’t get a rose over me!” Really Erica? When are you going to realize that if it weren’t for fans you would not be in the position you are in now? Whatever that position is? Rachel and Stagliano really seem to make a connection on the date and have quite the make out session. Donna gets sloppy seconds and shares an awkward kiss with Stagliano. Donna I love ya girl, but it was awkward!! Stagliano builds Donna’s hopes up to get the safe rose and then shoots her down by giving the rose to Rachel.

Blakeley picks David, Chris, and Ed. David is in absolute shock as is the rest of the house. Ed and his stylish yellow shorts win the soapbox derby. Chris and David compete for the safe rose while Ed does what he does best, not care about a thing in the world. David plays the sympathy angle with Blakeley in hopes of getting the safe rose. Blakeley seemed to take to his sympathy, but later gives the safe rose to Chris. After all, Blakeley has been hooking up with Chris and it would only be the right thing to do. Congratulations to my boy, Ed for winning the soapbox derby. Unfortunately, this doesn’t do a bit of good for him.

Back to the Pad we go! Let the after party begin. This is where I struggled in the game. I don’t drink and therefore had a hard time communicating with everyone else. I was that sober guy that just got annoyed by the extreme level of drunkenness.

Donna and Erica shared an intimate kiss. I had no idea Donna had bisexual tendencies, good for her! The twins are back at their shenanigans and arguing until the wee hours of the morning. Brittany decides that she wants to go home while Erica wants to stick around to continue her relationship with David. Brittany holds the pants in this relationship and sends Erica home with her. I still don’t know what they were arguing about and I’m pretty sure if you asked them today, they wouldn’t know either. Once again, I blame this on alcohol being fed to them like water.

Jamie decides that she wants to pursue Chris, HARD! Chris plays the game and allows Jamie to believe that he is into her. Chris sticks his tongue down her throat and then 5 minutes later gets in the bed with Blakeley. Chris, you are definitely the whore of the house at this point. Keep it up, bud! I totally understand, you’re trying to mend a broken heart. Jamie walks in on Chris and Blakeley sleeping together and the waterfall begins. Jamie really thought she had something special with Chris. I thought I did too, glad I got voted off early so that I couldn’t have developed strong feelings for him.

Rose Ceremony. Chris makes the announcement that the girls are safe and the guys will not be voting due to the twins’ premature exit. Erica bursts out with joy because she has secured another day at the Pad. Ugh! All the guys are pretty nervous about getting voted off except Stagliano and Chris. Kalon plants a seed in Lindzi’s ear to get the girls to vote off Ryan. Kalon wants Ryan gone because he “rubs him wrong”. I hated this because Ryan is a great guy. Ed and Ryan are now on the chopping block to be sent home. Ed is in great shape for the rose ceremony, doesn’t appear that he’s had a single drink. This is a good thing for Ed because he is going to have to do some campaigning to save his ass tonight. Sarah, for some strange reason tells Ed that she voted to remove him before the voting was over! The night prior Sarah hooked up with Ed. Sarah additionally later states that she has feelings for Ed and hates that she voted to send him packing. What a confusing game!! Ryan ends up taking that dreaded limo ride tonight and makes it a point to state that he is feels betrayed by his partner, Jamie. Ryan stated that he was disappointed that he didn’t find love and that he’s still a 32-year-old virgin. Ryan, stay strong buddy. The girl that is going to rock your world saw you tonight and is going to change your life.

“SWAT’s” Final Thoughts: I feel like there is going to a lot more back stabbing and lying in the weeks to come. I foresee Reid and Ed getting into it and Donna showcasing more bikinis. David’s still not in the clear and he better focus on winning more competitions otherwise the vets are going to send him back to Jersey. The clip of Donna eating a banana is a ratings booster!! Until next time, keep it classy!

“SWAT”

@jc_bain

http://chrisbain.me