Chris “SWAT” Bain’s Bachelor Pad Blog: Episode 3

I’ve officially titled this episode the Ed and Reid sh*t show! We start off with Reid showing some concern about his future at the pad because of his tactics, trying to get Ed voted off from the prior episode. David is labeled as a “threat” and appears to be gaining confidence in the game. I still believe it’s a little early to feel like you belong, buddy.

Hot Sludge Fun Day: Chris Harrison greets everyone and informs them that they’ll be leaving the mansion for the next challenge. Everyone bursts with excitement to be leaving murder mansion, even if it is only for a short period. I can relate with everyone’s excitement to be leaving the mansion. It’s almost like being locked up, only in a nice jail. You get disconnected from the real world and long for civilization, something unexpected, and something new and different.

The contestants arrive at the challenge and are confronted with calories in the form of ice cream and hot fudge. This may be the challenge that Erica excels in. Chris Harrison explains the rules of the obstacle course and tells the guys to switch places with the man to there left. The lady in front of them will now be there partner for the challenge. Kalon is optimistic about being paired up with Erica for the challenge and makes the statement, “I’m thinking Erica may be able to eat her way through, Pac-man style!” Kalon, you’re killin’ me man! So far, you’ve had some of the funniest comments in your interviews. Jamie get’s paired with Ed and she’s not feeling as optimistic like Kalon was.


David ended up being paired with Rachel while Sarah ended up with Stagliano. David and Stagliano race toward the finish line and end up finishing so close to each other that judges are forced to take the decision to the instant replay booth. Chris Harrison announces the winners, David and Rachel. Ed and Jamie finish dead last and now have one vote against them going into the next rose ceremony.

This was a challenge that I would have crushed, no doubt in my mind.

3 on 1 Dates: David chooses Blakeley, Jamie, and Erica. David chooses Blakeley because he feels that he owes it to her since Blakeley took him on her 3 on 1, last episode. David chooses Erica to try and get on her good side after throwing me under the bus and telling her he was going to vote her off in episode 1. The date is a re-creation of a high school prom. Jamie immediately releases baggage from her childhood (Kalon, this date may have been perfect for you. You seem to do well with women and “baggage”) and explains that she was unable to attend her high school prom due to her Mother going M.I.A. David takes Jamie’s vulnerability as an opportunity to possibly get some action and strikes. What else would you expect from a Jersey guy? David gives Jamie the safe rose and they enjoy the rest of night together at Jamie’s first prom, only it’s not really a prom. Sorry, Jamie!


Rachel chooses Nick, Tony, and Stagliano. I’m excited to finally see my boy Nick get some face time. I’m also excited to finally see Tony do some talking. The date is at the wax museum in Hollywood. Rachel, Nick, Tony, and Stagliano will be made up and act as wax figures while scaring/surprising fans of The Bachelor series. All in all this was a rather boring 3 on 1 due to the obvious. Rachel was going to give the safe rose to Stagliano so they could continue there on screen romance. Tony was a little disappointed that he was left with a limo ride back to the mansion with none other than “Captain Protein”. Nick, hold your head up buddy! Us big fellas are used to protein and work out jokes.

Back to murder mansion: Discussions heat up amongst the contestants back at the pad. Jamie somehow gained a world of confidence from going on the 3 on 1 date with David and is now going to apply that confidence in seducing Bukowski. This was a little uncomfortable to watch. I would say it’s probably going to be the same for Jamie, but she’s already had some uncomfortable moments on TV (really awkward lap dance with Ben Flajnik). Jamie spews her heart out in an interview, saying that Bukowski likes her and she wants to fall in love on TV to show her kids one day. Jamie additionally states that she is going to show Bukowski that she is “a woman and she would be able to please him and make him happy!” OK! Glad we got that all out of the way. ANNNNND GO TIME! Jamie approaches Bukowski in his bunk bed while he’s trying to sleep. Bukowski shows no interest and tells Jamie “It’s not you, it’s me.” Good go to bro, I’ve used it several times and it seems to always get the point across. Jamie is heart broken, but still confident that she could have made it happen because that’s what she does. Jamie had made things happen her whole life, or so she claims. Jamie continues on to say that she is a little awkward when it comes to dating, but really wants someone to share the holidays with. Ok, enough! Jamie is a great girl and I’m sure she’ll eventually find someone as awkward as her and they’re both be able to live an awkward life together.

Enter the Reid and Ed sh*t show: From here on out it’s the fall out of Reid and Ed’s friendship. Yes, Ed did consider and believe Reid to be one of his best friends. Reid is working the numbers again for the next rose ceremony and believes that he has enough of the women on his side to vote off Ed. Sarah lets the cat out of the bag and runs to Ed, unfolding Reid’s plan to vote off Ed. Ed says that he is going to “smash this guy”. Ed confronts Reid. DENY, DENY, DENY Reid. Reid does just that, but is it enough to make Ed believe him and save his ass?

Blakeley is nervous about being on the chopping block. Tony consoles Blakeley and ensures her that she is safe and has nothing to worry about. Donna is also on the chopping block and is not ready to go home. Donna is vulnerable and open to being consoled. Nick was the man for the job! Nick ensures Donna that she is safe from being voted off and eases her tension with a tongue filled make out session. Atta’ boy! Glad to finally see Nick getting in the mix.

Jaclyn is upset (crying) with the way the game is being played and expresses her disagreement with the betrayal and deception. Jaclyn, this is Bachelor Pad. People are competing for $250,000.00. Money makes people do crazy things. Jaclyn and Sarah turn on Reid’s plan to vote off Ed. Reid fails to get a rose resulting in that fabulous limo ride.

Kalon holds a swing vote and makes the decision to send Donna home over Blakeley.

SWAT’s Final Thoughts: I think Reid ultimately was playing the game in the best way that he possibly could. Unfortunately for Reid, the two women he entrusted turned on him. It’s a nasty game and you’ve got to try to stay away from the drama as long as you can. This was my plan, exactly! Reid had a great outlook on his removal from the pad. “It’s a game! It’s a TV Show, I don’t see why so many people are crying.” I feel that going forward David needs to continue winning challenges or he’ll be next to be sent packing.

Until next time,