Chris “SWAT” Bain’s Bachelor Pad Blog: Episode 5

I’m going to start off this episodes blog with a strong suggestion. If you have not watched episode 5 yet than you need to immediately stop reading my blog and go to the ABC website and watch it, now! Episode 5 will go down in Bachelor Pad history for a number of reasons. Rules were broken, key players go home, alliances get broken and name calling and trash talking is at it’s all time greatest! Relationships are tarnished and backstabbing is in full effect.


Kalon and Bukowski’s hatred toward each other continues to grow. The first of several more confrontations start us off in episode 5. Bukowski calls Kalon out for lying about his vote at the prior rose ceremony. Kalon calls Bukowski a “loose cannon”. Bukowski then approaches Ed with the same bone to pick. Bukowski calls out Ed for lying to him about his vote at the prior rose ceremony as well. Ed raises his voice at Bukowski, but Bukowski will have no disrespect in his mansion and tells Ed that he is a “grown ass man” and deserves to be treated like one.

 Bukowski is in a bad place and is beginning to see his chances at winning the $250,000 fade.

The Great Fall of China: The contestants are taken outside of the mansion where they meet none other than Chris Harrison. Harrison explains the competition at hand. The contestants will be placing saucers and cups on a tray and balancing them while walking back and fourth between two tables. If the contestant drops the china he/she has to start the competition over. This competition is suited for Blakeley considering the fact that she use to be a Hooters Waitress and Cocktail Waitress. Blakeley starts out strong, but Sarah ends up giving her a run for her money. Sarah finishes first, however was disqualified for touching her saucers and cups to keep them balanced, before she crossed the finish line. Blakeley wins the competition for the girl’s side. Blakeley secures a safe rose for the next rose ceremony and gets to go on a 1 on 1 date.

On the men’s side of the competition Blakeley’s partner, Tony is coached to victory. Tony wins the competition for the men and is presented with a safe rose and a 1on1 date.

I’d hate to know how much china was destroyed in this competition. Everyone was walking over and dodging china as the competition dragged on due to awful balancing skills. It would have been interesting to of competed in this competition. I did use to work as a food runner/waiter at a restaurant when I was younger. Might have prevailed in this one!

Back at the pad: Bukowski is nervous, because now more than ever he is on the chopping block. Blakeley and Tony decide to go on their 1 on 1 together, which means they have a rose to pass out to another contestant for the other 1 on 1 date. Blakeley chooses to hand out the rose to Kalon. Kalon decides to take Lindzi Cox on the date. Chris Harrison explains to the lucky daters that there will be two totally different dates that they can choose from. One will be an overnight date. Blakeley chooses the overnight date with the premonition of extravagance. Kalon and Lindzi are left with the “other” date, which was believed to be less extravagant.

1 on 1 dates: Lindzi and Kalon are presented with a car key to none other than a Bentley. Very fitting for Kalon. Lindzi and Kalon jump in their nice Bentley and follow the sound of a GPS to there final destination for the evening. The GPS leads the couple to a bridge in LA that has been shut down for just the two of them. They have a nice Bachelor dinner set up and love is in the air. Kalon confesses his love for Lindzi and Lindzi is smitten.

Blakeley and Tony leave the mansion in an older model Jeep with a map. Not as glamorous, but the two are still keeping there hopes up for a Helicopter to whisk them away at every turn. Blakeley and Tony follow the map in their 1965 Jeep to a trailer park date. Blakeley and Tony embrace the atmosphere and really enjoy each other’s company. After all it’s not about where you are, it’s about the company you are with. Blakeley and Tony share their first kiss and leave the trailer park with romance in the air.

Rose Ceremony: This is where things get nasty! Going into the rose ceremony Bukowski and Sarah were the players going home. ENTER HARRISON! Good ol’ Chris Harrison makes another historic appearance and lets everyone know that they’ve become too comfortable and things were going to change. Harrison explains that everyone will be voting for one girl to go home. The girl that gets voted off will then have the choice to take any guy out of the mansion with her. BOOM! Everyone’s faces immediately became long and I think I saw a tear in a few of the player’s eyes. Bukowski on the other hand is delighted and feels like he has been resurrected.

Stagliano comes up with the strategy to tell his good friend, Erica Rose that Bukowski is campaigning to vote her off. Stagliano’s hopes are that Erica will get voted off and take Bukowski down with her which will take 2 players out of Bukowski’s alliance. Bukowski is really campaigning to get Lindzi sent home.

Bukowski thinks outside of the box and changes the rules of the game. Bukowski tell’s Erica to go into the voting room with him to watch who he votes for. Bukowski does this to prove to Erica that Stagliano is gaming her. Bukowski votes for Lindzi and shows Erica that she’s been had by her best guy friend in the house.

Erica get’s voted off and takes Stagliano out of the game with her, obvious move on Erica’s behalf. Erica not only takes Stagliano with her, but also lays into him at the end of the ceremony for betraying her. Erica makes a low blow toward Stagliano and says that the “smartest thing Holly ever did was leave him for Blake!” Would you have expected anything different from Erica’s exit? Nope!

This was a rose ceremony that I would have loved to of been apart of. I would have been rolling on the floor in laughter from Erica’s exit. One of the guys let out a hardy chuckle during her attack on Stagliano. Funny stuff!

SWAT’s Final Thoughts: Nick picks up Stagliano’s partner, Rachel. This is a great move for Nick. Rachel is a gamer and a great competitor. Do remember that she stuck it out in the “falling out of love” competition with me as her partner. I was the one to fall out of the heart first. Rachel and Nick are going to be a force to reckon with. I really see Bukowski sticking around to the end, he knows how to play the game and it’s shown.