Constantine’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 4

Big Love

Park City, Utah. I really can’t think of a better place for a guy to take thirteen potential brides in the hopes of falling in love with one of them or in Utah, all thirteen! Surrounded by rugged mountains and shielded from the icy air by cozy campfires you can’t go wrong with Utah and its polygamous feel! Sorry ABC but you’re pitching me softballs here.

“Let’s let nature take its course”- And the first date card goes to, Rachel of whom I’m really a fan. I liked the way she bypassed most of the drama in the earlier episodes and I felt her style suited Ben’s. In early conversations with Ben she came across as confident and from what we saw the conversation seemed to flow. After the date started I was beginning to think it was more than a coincidence that Ben chose to picnic by a beaver dam as the conversational flow had all but dried up, unless you consider casually talking about one’s crow’s feet as a success. I was really surprised to see the two of them struggling to find common ground. Of course Ben has the perfect cure for awkward silences, kissing. So the first half of the date doesn’t completely fail; let’s just chalk this one up to nerves.

In the second half of the date I was looking for Rachel to pick it up, throw caution to the wind and maybe even throw out some “high fives”. Instead they seemed to spend dinner admiring the architecture of the kitchen stove? Finally Rachel throws some insight about herself Ben’s way where we learn (surprise!) she has a phobia of opening up in relationships. Well luckily for Rachel the experience that she signed on for has cracked a few hard shells in its time so maybe there’s hope. Ben accepts Rachel’s slightly cracked window into her past by giving her a rose and labels her a “slow burner”. Part of me still thinks he was referring to the kitchen stove.

During this time, it’s evident that a majority of the women are starting to develop serious feelings about Ben. We’ve got Kacie B, Nicki, Courtney, Jennifer and Samantha pouring their hearts out about how clearly they see themselves in Ben’s future. I’m going to take the high road here and tip my hat to them for laying it all on the line. It’s easy to sit and say, “Are you crazy, you just met the guy!” but seriously; would anyone really want to watch a television show with a full group of women playing it safe? I know I wouldn’t, hell I could barely watch myself take baby steps; so let’s just enjoy the fact that they are completely swept off their feet by Ben and its only Episode 4. The dude is a gamer.

“Let’s see if you are a great catch”- I love the group dates as they always showcase to the rest of the world just how teamwork and social (albeit healthy) interaction will always pay off, that or you can just catch a fish and call it a day. I’ve got to say that Ben’s arrival via horseback looked more City Slickers than Seabiscuit but I’m sure he still made all the girls a bit weak in the knees. Fly fishing, what a perfect non-competitive way to just relax and enjoy the great outdoors. Then again what the hell do I know about fly fishing? Is it relaxing, non-competitive or the least bit enjoyable? Courtney as determined as usual, has her eyes on the prize early when she discloses the details of this week’s rose snatching covert operation. We see Ben spend some time with Kacie B. while Lindzi is in the background trying to appear like a regular Bassmaster but in the end its Courtney devilish ways that snag her the deadliest catch.

During the after party we are introduced to a new cast member, Casey S. who seems to appear out of nowhere in Episode 4. Unfortunately the “no interruptions” toast is forgotten faster than most first cocktail party departures.  Nicki arrives and goes ALL IN with a pair of two’s interrupting Casey S. and Ben’s conversation only to be rewarded with this week’s Karma Award as Samantha sees Nicki’s bluff and goes ALL IN as well by inviting herself to sit down with Ben. Prior to this moment we learn that Samantha feels that she “should already have a ring on her finger”. Really? Hello Mr. Cart have you met my friend Mr. Horse?  WOW! I know I said I was all for “letting go” earlier but this is a serious leap of faith and/or desperation. I’m not sure if Samantha fully thought this statement through before she decided to speak into the contraption that records your statements for THE ENTIRE NATION TO SEE! Samantha spends her precious time with Ben complaining on why she hasn’t had a one on one date and that it is beyond her as to why she has been relegated to group dates only.  I applaud Samantha’s honesty, albeit naive in nature but this doesn’t sit well with Ben and he tells her that she is too emotional and she starts to cry (Irony Award Nominee). So like the CEO of a bloated Wall Street bank, Ben cuts like corporate and sends Samantha packing. I’m going to stick up for Ben here; he’s not stringing anyone along and is playing by his own rules.

The highlight or lowlight depending on where you stand was definitely Ben’s conversation with Courtney. It wasn’t two seconds ago that I was praising Ben for playing by his own rules but I’ll be damned to find out we all the pawns in Courtney’s game. She’s a fiddler no doubt and earned herself the rose she so confidently called out ala Babe Ruth style before the Group date. I do not really consider manipulation as “earning” a rose but this power play showed us all who the Alpha Dog in this house.

“Let’s pick our love song…” Ben decides to take Jennifer on the second one on one date in Utah. All we really know about Jennifer is that Ben has singled her out as the “Best Kisser” in the house so let’s hope she’s able to earn a couple more endearing characteristics from this date. Risk and Reward again finds its way into Ben’s dates as a little misdemeanor B & E is thrown into the mix to spice things up. Jennifer finds herself in similar territory as Emily on this date as she’s faced with This was certainly an uncomfortable task that could potentially make or break her chances with Ben, literally. To Jennifer’s credit she accepts Ben’s challenge and plunges herself into a dark hole all in the name of love and who hasn’t done THAT before?

Post spelunking Ben and Jennifer enjoy dinner and actually have a semi-decent conversation. We learn that Ben has come to appreciate some of Jennifer’s finer characteristics, outdoorsy, good family, super smart and of course kisser. Ben ends the date with a rose and a stage front/center location to watch Clay Walker perform.  This was certainly a positive date but the connection was nowhere near what I witnessed from Ben’s first dates with Kacie B. and Courtney. I just feel that Jennifer is just too “safe” a bet for Ben’s taste at the moment.

“Something wicked this way comes”- The final cocktail party seemed to have a sense of foreboding that a large designer shoe was about to step on everyone’s feelings. Courtney validates this by stating “a bomb might drop soon”, in some circles this is known as a rigged bet. Emily finds herself compelled to warn Ben about Courtney’s “two-faced” behavior. I am totally against this idea. Yes, it sounds reasonable and noble but in reality you’re still getting to know Ben and whatever you say will end up as a negative towards you. As my famous saying goes “the road home is paved with good intentions”. Naturally, Ben ignores her words and tells Emily in the most subtle of ways, to mind her own business and not worry about the other girls.

Later we have another cameo from Casey S. who seems to enjoy the Kool-Aid Courtney is serving as we see her defend Courtney against the onslaught from the rest of the girls who actually appear to be bonding. Could this be a result of Courtney’s unilateral actions? This of course only sets off a chain of events that will ultimately lead to me yelling at the screen, “Courtney, put down the gas can and step away from the fire”. The fire in this case is Emily and to be fair it’s put out rather quickly. It’s hard to figure out what really transpired here but I feel once Emily’s conversation with Ben didn’t go as planned she sort of backed off her soap box and went into denial mode over the whole thing.  No worry where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

With Samantha sent packing earlier, Ben will only be sending one girl home from the rose ceremony. Ironically enough it’s the girl who wore a dress with roses on it to the rose ceremony. Is this the equivalent of going to a concert and wearing the bands T-shirt? To Monica’s credit she did pull the dress off nicely and was at least allowed to depart in a limo instead of a cab. Again I was kind of surprised to see how emotional she was about leaving. Maybe she’s already missing Blakeley?

Next week brings a change of location for the group as Ben announces they’ll all be jet setting to Puerto Rico for episode 5. This is exactly what the group needs, a little adventure into the unknown. Wait what’s that you say? Courtney’s already been to Puerto Rico? Never mind, it’s back to the knife sharpening and mind games for this group.

Twitter @contzor or facebook.com/isthisis for questions & feeback.

 

17 Comments »

  1. I wish I had seen your humor on TV! Quite impressive.

    Comment by Amanda — January 25, 2012 @ 12:46 pm

  2. You havent said much about Courtney’s shenanigans. I wonder why?hmm

    Comment by SS — January 25, 2012 @ 1:56 pm

  3. Polygamy is illegal in Utah… but good try.

    Comment by Katie — January 25, 2012 @ 2:15 pm

  4. and Mormons, always make me sick to my stomach. Michelle Money makes me sick to my stomach too.

    You are a funny guy.

    Comment by Polygamy — January 25, 2012 @ 7:14 pm

  5. I love you posts! Very intelligently written, but with humor added as well. Thanks!

    Comment by Carrie — January 25, 2012 @ 7:15 pm

  6. So does Ben like being played by Courtney? Is this manipulation seen as “confidence” by you men out there?

    Comment by Judy — January 25, 2012 @ 9:17 pm

  7. Great blog. I hope to God that as a close friend of Ben’s, you help him to see how Courtney has lied to him about EVERYTHING – if he hasn’t already figure that out – I saw a survey today where almost 98% of the people agreed that she played him.

    1. She said she didn’t date much to Ben then told the ladies she was never w/o a BF & in this date catching a man was as easy as catching a fish then Wetpaint had thorough story 1st reported by Ryan Seacrest about how she dumped her last BF right bef. going on this show & in her intro vid had the nerve to wear the dress & ride the bike that HE bought for her. He found out that she dumped him by that vid b/c she just disappeared on him one day. She cheated on Jesse Metcalf & he said she was only using him for fame. 2. She said she was insecure when she was cocky & “winning” the entire show. The lying alone is a deal breaker in itself, but the mean jabs she made at Kacie B. to Emily are just never OK. If that is her version of nice then Hitler must have been just misunderstood. 3. She’s a one upper – like Reid hilariously said – she’s like Penelope from SNL. 4. She’s a sociopath – when you put your own quest for fame & winning above the feelings of others & don’t even care about hurting them – you’re a sociopath. I think you’ll find her photo above that definition. Lesson to all both sexes, when you don’t use your brain & let lust/passion or the other person’s looks/money blind you to who they really are; you open yourself up to getting hurt and ending up alone.

    Comment by Funny PostConstantine — January 26, 2012 @ 12:44 am

  8. Ben was Bentley’d big time. Yet you guys looked down at Ashley for what happened to her. Not so judgy now, heh? He was owned & hopefully woke up, learned his lesson and moved on.

    Comment by Sarah — January 26, 2012 @ 1:09 am

  9. Great Blog! but I have one observation, You’re exceptionally nice to Courtney, are you as blind as Ben or are you just being nice because you’re friends with Ben and don’t wanna make it awkward IF he chooses Courtney, because honestly right now I think Ben is blindly falling in love with a FAKE Courtney because he’s thinking with his dick, and I think all of you guys know that..

    At least Ashley opened her eyes and saw what Bentley really was and ended up with a nice guy like JP, I would feel sorry for Ben if right now He’s watching these episodes having already chosen that Fake Courtney… that would SUCK!!

    Comment by OCrazy — January 26, 2012 @ 8:26 am

  10. I believe you did call out Courtney several times in your blog. However, Emily deserves a little respect from you. If Ben is such a great friend, you should appreciate the fact that Emily was looking out for him by trying to warn him of the manipulative and mean Courtney. Emily is a smart, sweet girl who in the real world would be doing the right thing.

    Editing is not an issue with Courtney. We see her say mean things and laugh at the girls. I never take anything seriously from the ITM’s because the girls are probed and asked questions to elicit controversial comments. But with Courtney, she is openly being rude.

    I was mad at Ben at first, but now I just feel sorry for him that he is being played and not realizing it. I wish Ben the best but am very scared that this is going to be another failure.

    Comment by Jacquie — January 26, 2012 @ 10:07 am

  11. OCrazy You said it all!!!!! Along the way reading about you just making fun of your Friend Ben and going easy on Courtney is going to get boring. So man up and call a Spade for what it is.

    Comment by TexasS — January 26, 2012 @ 12:18 pm

  12. I feel like you were being a bit soft on Courtney…you called her out but not to the degree that she deserves. She is just plain vapid, mean and obnoxious.

    And @Sarah….not to disagree, but Ashley didn’t actually figure Bentley out, he just left and she continued to pine away for him. She would’ve totally ended up picking Bentley had he not left first. She is the same as Ben (re: Courtney)….whipped and blind.

    Comment by aly — January 27, 2012 @ 2:19 am

  13. Oops….sorry….I meant @OCrazy….

    Comment by aly — January 27, 2012 @ 2:20 am

  14. Constantine,
    As a good friend, please tell Ben to break-up with Courtney!

    Comment by Christine Chaos — January 27, 2012 @ 6:04 am

  15. intrested take on things ilike courtney she there for ben and not to make friends but everyone seen to not remember tht all the girls hated blakley at first because she was forward to ben and now tht courtney is doing it the same thing but she focus on getting to know ben take all the change u get girl time wait for no one kacie b seen to fall so fast bye the time this show end tht feel will change emily dont like her attitude and the way she deal with assiue love lindzi she is a sweet heart

    Comment by lydia hill — January 27, 2012 @ 3:06 pm

  16. You really can’t put a name on religion. I’m slowly learning the world doesn’t see things the way I do. Not even Bachelor bloggers. I’m falling off the map not jumping on the bandwagon. People talking about Mormons on Bachelor blog is very disturbing to me.

    Comment by elizabeth — January 28, 2012 @ 6:48 pm

  17. Ben Flajnik storm horse cream dreams http://vixelyblog.wordpress.com/2011/07/26/exclusive-cream-dreams-video-by-ben-f-from-the-bachelorette/

    Comment by charles — February 15, 2012 @ 6:20 am

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