Constantine’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 1

The claws come out at night

Genuine, funny, honest, laid back, confident, a little on the goofy side and most of all drama free. This would be my reply to anyone who asked me what Ben was looking for in a woman. I’ve got to say that Ben has himself a very beautiful cast of women to choose from and I don’t feel sorry for him…yet. It’s funny, during your entire interview process the one thing that is constantly asked of you is: “what are you going to do to stand out?” With that in mind I’ll go over my standouts from the first cocktail party.

Rachel Rose – She comes from a long line of Bachelorette contestants so she’s well versed at remaining calm and collected on camera. I liked her approach and she came across as a genuine person in a situation where it is very easy lose your mind and go toe to toe with the other contestants. Her private conversation with Ben was solid and I give her points for asking the tough questions first. Ben also gets a star for replying honestly when he states that he has no clue if he’s ready to marry anyone straight out of the Limo.

Jenna – If you are a relationship “expert” then I am Pulitzer Prize winning writer! The awkward silence however brief, seemed to last a lifetime and I actually tilted my head towards the TV with the hopes of hearing the Crickets chirping away in the Hollywood Hills. I really hope she can tune out everyone else, relax and focus on just having fun. You cannot worry about Monica’s reasons for being on the show; she is not the person who will keep you from finding true love, you are!

Kacie B. – Or a young Sandra Bullock? Either way she seems sweet and a little goofy, I like her chances.

Holly – I’m not a big fan of props; ask Jeff AKA “The Mask” how his worked out for him. The lone exception to my policy would be dental floss, mint, wax free!

Lindzi C. – Nothing says first impression rose like riding in on a horse. Well played, I tip my hat.

Monica – Oh hello! Miss Brutally Honest! It’s easy to say you’re not feeling “IT” after spending a very engaging 9 minutes and 27 seconds standing next to Ben. The hard part comes when you’re trying to make the decision to leave but aren’t sure that you’ve really gotten the time needed to make such a life altering choice. Trust me.

Shawn – Tough format for a single mother, I applaud you. The Soccer Mom taking Ben out front to kick around a Soccer ball was just too much and earns my first Irony Award for 2012. I’m in a generous mood so I am also giving Shawn the award for Least Affectionate Departure with the good, ole’ fashion arm slug.

Jennifer – I suck at math but according to my calculations the answer is 3.275. I loved her approach the first night by keeping things simple while staying away from any and all drama.

Lyndsie J. – Too bad, I was pulling for her. I’ve got a thing for London ladies and I think Ben would dig her goofy side.

Amber B. – AKA “The Baconator,” good luck getting that name to un-stick.

Courtney – Well, the confidence is there and she seemed to share a child-like goofy moment with Ben over his mid-level curl (can’t argue with that logic). I have a feeling she doesn’t play well with others or will it be that others don’t play well with her?

Emily – Beautiful, smart and weirdly awesome. As goofy as it was to watch a white girl rap you’ve got to admit the lyrics were pretty tight. I can tell you for a fact that Ben appreciates her linguistic skills. She’s the only person that has ever made communicable diseases sound so sexy!

So for better or worse that’s who caught my eye so far. See, I know women and I sense that the rest of the season will play out with all the girls becoming really good friends as they realize how special of an opportunity they have been handed. I picture that these ladies will develop a deep sense of understanding that love isn’t so much a competition as it is the bringing together of two people who were destined for one another.

Did anyone just buy that?

From the first show, I am guessing that the rest of the season will be much like a nature show where the Lions, Tigers, Cheetahs and Jaguars (notice, I mentioned all felines) will assemble around the arid watering hole, fighting for the last sweet sip of water who in this case, happens to be wine maker named Ben.

It is natural for someone to fight for what they want, but sometimes this can be counterproductive. I had a saying that we adopted in the house last season: “it’s always ladies choice.”

All you can do is be honest and open and the rest will work itself out.

Questions & Comments? Hit me up on Twitter @contzor