Constantine’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 2

This House is a circus

We’re only two episodes into this season and already ABC’s favorite recurring actress is stealing the show, Drama. The sad thing about Drama is she has a tendency to hog the lime light and distract you from seeing all of the positive aspects of the episode. For starters how lucky are these women! They are waking up to the news that they’ll be spending their first week on the show with Ben in his hometown of Sonoma, California. You really can’t ask for a better way to get to know someone than to be around them in a hometown setting especially since this is a big part of Ben’s life. My hope is that the ladies will appreciate their chance to see Ben in his comfort zone and maybe let their guard down a little in the process.

In general, first dates can be tricky but imagine how tough they are when you have a house full of fellow contestants secretly (or not so secretly) hoping for your demise at the same time knowing that millions of people will be privy to your personal conversations. The house is where our girl Drama does her best work during the 1 on 1 dates: Will she get a rose? Does she deserve the first date? These questions will be pondered repeatedly by the rest of the housemates until Kacie B. returns with a glowing smile or someone comes to collect her luggage. Having the inaugural first date of the season can backfire (see William Holman) as the rest of the girls will be left to bond as a group in Kacie’s absence. Luckily for Kacie it seems that the group decided to forgo an attempt at the camaraderie that comes from a shared experience and go straight into the hating and hazing.

Ben’s first date with Kacie B. exemplified for me who Ben really is, an honest, down to earth guy who doesn’t take himself too seriously. It’s evident throughout the date that Kacie B. was really able to mesh with Ben’s personality. They were able to laugh and joke completely forgetting that there would soon be millions of eyes watching their every move including the twirling of a baton. It was really moving to see just how much Ben’s father meant to him during the theater scene. I know how close I am to my family and just what my father means to me, so for Ben to expose his softest side to Kacie B. showed me that he already was developing a trust with her. Ben ends his date with a sincerity that I think will be his hallmark for the entire season by explaining to Kacie B. why he felt she was deserving of the rose. It’s nice to have someone who can articulate their feelings while remaining true to their core values in the process, well done Ben.

Group dates are meant to challenge the contestants to step outside of their comfort zones enough to demonstrate just how dedicated they are to finding love. Unfortunately this group date in Sonoma doesn’t bring out the best in all the girls. Jenna gets stuck with the wizard costume on the date which earns this week’s Irony Award as being the one girl on the show who could have really used some magical intervention. The only positive I saw in her costume was the ability of the prop beard to catch any tears she happened to shed; too bad she didn’t bring it to the cocktail party later. Nicki successfully made herself the front runner for the part of Donkey if “Shrek: The Musical” ever came to Texas. Killer donkey kick-backs! Blakeley’s Double D personality was on full display in small town America rendering some of the kids speechless while igniting early puberty in others. Blakeley also wins the first Whiskey Tango Award of the season for threatening physical violence against the other woman over a date card.

After the “Taming of the Shrew” attempt in the park, Ben and the girls head to the Three Ring Cir––I mean, cocktail party to see who would be tonight’s Rose recipient. The girls are in shock that Diamonds, I mean Blakeley wins the rose on the group date but I would be very surprised if Ben sees any long term potential with her. However, I do see Blakeley as the perfect star for the next season of Bachelor Pad. It was interesting to see the women react to Ben’s decision in regards to Blakely as there were definite times during our season that Ashley’s rose decisions played on Ben’s mind. This just goes to show that he really isn’t privy to what goes on when he’s not around.

Drama showed up to visit the girls as they waited on the second 1 on 1 date card to arrive. The conversation during this time was excruciating to watch as have been most of the interactions between the girls to this point. Without any hint of a joke, Courtney accepts her date card from Kacie B and asks her: “How did that taste coming out of your mouth?” Wow, I can’t wait to see her Oscar speech, “I’d like to thank everyone for this award with a special thanks to my own awesomeness. Now suck it!”

Courtney’s actions to this point in the show made me wonder if she had another side to her that would come out during her date with Ben. The conversation that we got to see was pretty normal with Courtney revealing her past dating experience or lack thereof which was really lean on details for someone who had successfully reached the ripe old age of 28. During the date, Courtney describes the shallowness of her industry and how she just hasn’t found anything of substance living in Los Angeles. This is not too shocking as she has been fishing in the very shallow (and concrete) Hollywood pond. I’m going to go WAY out on a limb here and give her the benefit of the doubt that her Ice Princess routine is actually the defense mechanism of a woman who has probably never had to compete for someone’s attention prior to this very public setting. Courtney seemed to thaw out during the date once she realized that Ben was exuding the deep and thoughtful traits she has been longing for in a potential love interest. Let’s hope that the real her matches her beautiful exterior and she can continue on as it is obvious that she made a positive impression on Ben. This is evident when Ben admits to Courtney that he wasn’t totally convinced that he would fall again in this setting but she has gotten him excited about the prospect. This could be a big turning point in Ben’s journey. I know when he came to me during last season and we discussed our own “walls” and the risks of letting someone “in” we both decided that he should throw out all of his reservations and do what his heart told him to which resulted in him ending the season on both knees only to come back stronger and better this year when a lesser man would’ve crumbled.

My name for the final cocktail party of the evening was the “Habitual Line Stepper’s Ball”: starring none other than Blakeley. What happened to fair play and decency to your common man? Last time I checked, we were not engaged in combat, yet Blakely has shown up to the party with the heavy artillery. She was safe with her rose and could have relaxed, mixed a couple of drinks for her cast mates and enjoyed herself while Drama mixed it up with the other girls. Instead the self-professed Scorpio went on a desperate operation to sabotage the evening for all of the other girls. Her actions led to more chaos in the house and I sense more evenings with our tough, aggressive Scorpio ending as a crumpled mess behind the Samsonite. I could almost hear what was left of Blakeley’s confidence leave her body as she peered up to see Ben looking directly at her as her make-up ran down her face. I really felt at that moment Ben was about to enact the ever so rare, Rose Revoke Rule.

If this wasn’t enough, at the same time, Jenna’s grave had almost broken ground in China. Jenna sealed her fate by failing to articulate one of her many canned speeches trying to explain to Ben that she is “not like a girl” and that she thinks “like a guy” in the same conversation. This was very awkward to watch and I really feel for her and I’m sure she is as sweet and intelligent as she says she is but I do not believe that this format suits her sensitively so it was probably a blessing that Ben let her go early before any real damage was done to her.

The ladies need to start realizing that no matter what they do and what they say, Drama will be there, lying in wait to stick a wrench in their carefully crafted plans. Three of the girls that Ben chose last night had little or no camera time during the show which should tell the rest of the girls that there is nothing they can do to sway Ben’s thinking. I said it last week, I will say it again now and I will probably have to repeat it every week.

Be yourself, play to your strengths and everything else will work itself out in due time. There are over 3 billion men in the world. If you can survive this show with your dignity intact and Ben doesn’t choose you, you will be that much better for the next guy who catches your eye.

And whenever you see Drama enter the room, do not say “hi,” do not offer her a chair and certainly do not buy her any drinks!