Speaking from my own experience, the week before hometown dates was really tough. Contrary to what you might think, the traveling really can take its toll on your mind and body as you start to really miss the everyday comforts you’ve become accustomed to but typically take for granted. Now throw in six women who’ve all fallen for the same man and we’ve got a ticking time bomb on our hands. Anyone fancy a game of hot potato?

“Two halves make a whole”

It seems that Ben is determined to once again force everyone in his harem to overcome their fear of just about everything. It’s as if the time he spent in Fiji at Tony Robbin’s Namale resort transformed him into the ultimate life coach determined to wreak havoc on our Bachelorettes’ bucket lists which probably include typical female goals like getting married and starting a family but are short on activities like shark diving and bridge climbing.

After a day spent jumping from helicopters and into blue holes the couple retreats to a romantic dockside dinner date to discuss their progress. The only thing I found worth noting was the underlying confidence Ben had when discussing whether or not Lindzi was ready to take him home to meet her family. I just feel Ben already knew the answer to his question but was simply entertaining Lindzi at this point.

“Do You Belize In Love?”

I’ll have to check with the records department but I believe that Ben now holds the Bachelor record for “number of total dates in beach attire.” True to his laid back style the first half of Emily’s date with Ben was all flip flops and board shorts as the couple explore the small seaside village together.

Later in the evening as they sit and dine, Ben as he did prior with Lindzi, asks Emily’s thoughts on bringing him home to meet her family in a very direct fashion. Ben did not seem too concerned with either Lindzi’s or Emily’s answers to these questions (which contrasts sharply with his demeanor during the same conversation with Courtney later in the episode).

“Let’s Talk About The Next Step In Our Relationship”

Just like previous episodes, Courtney finds her way to the center stage and never exits. We are privy to Courtney’s thoughts on how she’s “lost the spark” between her and Ben as she not so patiently waits for the Date Card. Courtney continues on with the poor me attitude claiming “I don’t feel as connected to him as I used to and that’s making it harder to be around these girls.” I want to make a quick reference to Ashley’s season of The Bachelorette and remind everyone that J.P. also started to find the entire process of open competition mentally taxing and emotionally frustrating. I’m not going to go as far and say that he took the same measures Courtney has in distancing herself from the group but there were times when J.P. didn’t want anything to do with the process or the group. The point here is that once the heart works its way into the brain we all know that rational thought is the first and most important personal trait to be shown the door. Everyone has their own threshold of pain and everyone’s breaking point is different and it’s truly unfortunate when good people reach their breaking point in the front of millions of viewers. Let’s keep that in mind as we discuss the dynamics of Courtney and Ben’s date.

Courtney leaves the house for her date with Ben in a demanding mood uttering more of her clichéd, pop culture phrases to the camera. Channeling her inner Phil Jackson, Courtney tells the viewing world that: “Ben needs to step his game up with me. I need more and he knows that.” We can look at this as an example of your standard high maintenance human being but I feel that this is a deeper example of someone who isn’t near the level of personal confidence that she portrays herself to have. After watching Courtney for weeks it is obvious that the Ice Princess act is just an act to protect her from life outside of Los Angeles. This hardened exterior and the “make no friends/take no prisoners” battle plan has no doubt contributed to the off-putting behavior Courtney has exhibited thus far in the show.

As Courtney’s plane arrives to meet Ben, he expresses how grateful he is to have Courtney on this particular date saying: “I wanted you on this date today because these are the things I like to do and I’m sorry it’s taken so long to get you on another one of these.” This statement shows me that Ben was aware of Courtney’s insecurities within their “relationship” but also proof that he doesn’t yet see the toll she’s taken upon the rest of the group. Ben barely settles into the date before Courtney starts throwing strong hints in his direction about her desire to see Emily go “bye, bye”. At this point we see Courtney’s titanium exterior crack a little when she tells us: “I’m a little confused by his feelings for her; he knows how badly she has treated me. If she gets to hometowns it’s going to be really unattractive to me.” Again, we can look back to The Bachelorette when Ben, Mickey and I came to our journey’s crossroads and felt that Ashley’s lack of coherent decision making adversely affected us and could in fact make the entire process a complete waste of time for some guys that were truly looking for love. The last weeks of our season are where our friendships really strengthened regardless of the competition and any feelings we had for Ashley. Ultimately, it was the ability to lean on one another that allowed us to organize and process our feelings which helped to rationalize a somewhat irrational process.

This close knit couple finds themselves sitting at a sacrificial altar of Mayan descent while ironically discussing just how treacherous this “love” journey has been. Courtney starts in on what we will soon recognize as another one of her Recon missions as she describes the complete disdain she feels for any moment that Ben spends with Emily. Courtney goes on to describe how she feels betrayed by his time spent with Emily because Emily was: “the person who said nasty things to me.” At this juncture, it is obvious that Ben is placing more emphasis into what Courtney says and does in comparison to his attention level with the other Bachelorettes. This point is clearly made by the latitude Courtney is given to discuss the problems she is having with the other girls when Emily was brushed off repeatedly by Ben when she tried to voice the concerns she had about Courtney. A timeless quote certainly rings true here that “the heart wants what the heart wants.”

Ben and Courtney’s conversation during dinner was dramatically deeper than what we’ve witnessed so far in this episode. For a brief moment, guards were down, wavelengths were straight and the two love lookers sat starry-eyed discussing their potential future together. It’s moments like these that make me wonder if these two had met in passing (away from the circus that we call The Bachelor) would their relationship have played out with fewer pimples. I’d lean towards “yes” but feel that Ben would still have to address Courtney’s insecurities from past relationships and whatever other failures seem to play into her odd personality away from him.

This moment of normalcy is quickly MBM (Murdered by Model) as the scene shifts to a private interview where Courtney raises her guard and attempts to be “Ha Ha funny” by uttering more of her tired, pop culture blather including: “Snap girls, the shows over” and: “You can all go home; pack your bags” and lest we forget the classic: “Kill shot”. It’s baffling to me as to why Courtney feels the need to act this way if her “spark” with Ben is so bright and if she truly feels that she is a confident woman on a show surrounded by little girls.

As dinner ends the conversations shifts when Ben begins to questions Courtney about her journey up until this point on the show. Courtney’s answer leaves me at a loss as she begins to describe how the other girls from the onset haven’t given her much of a chance. She even goes so far as to call them “vanilla” while emphasizing that these aren’t women she would make friends with in real life.

The key to this conversation was Courtney’s complete lack of honesty in regards to how she generally behaves when Ben is not present. Courtney’s dishonesty is clear to me because the girl with the dead-eye stare (when she thinks she’s in-charge) could barely look into Ben’s eyes as he asked her pointed questions. Ben on the other hand is visibly struggling to figure out just why this process has been so tough on Courtney and which “camp” is telling a more accurate version of the truth. Ben responds to her charges with: “It’s a bit concerning to me that when I bring this stuff up you get defensive”. I really feel for Ben at this moment because it has got to be extremely difficult to sort through so many emotions coming from so many directions completely on his own. In the end he takes a hard swallow and accepts his conversation with Courtney as some sort of progress.

“Let’s Sea Whose Family I Will Meet”

Ben goes for another Bachelor bucket list date and chooses to go swimming with sharks. With Rachel, Nicki and Kacie B. on this date the dynamics of the group would surely lend to a low drama afternoon. The girls for the most part embraced the idea and conquered their fears of nature’s second greatest Man-eater right behind Courtney.

Although all the girls expressed a willingness to take Ben home it was Kacie B. who took the greatest leap of faith in her conversation with Ben stating: “It’s because I’m falling in love with you. I want them to know you and know this part of my life”. Her words seemed so heartfelt and true that Ben gave her the rose proving that he was feeling much of the same emotions about her. The “group” date doesn’t end without a stern “group” warning for Ben to “tread lightly” in his future dealings with Courtney and we are left to believe that Ben has begun to put some weight behind these continued warnings.

“Delaying the Inevitable”?

So much goes on behind the scenes during the deliberation process that Ben is going through at this point in the season. Ben has obviously taken into account the warnings from the rest of the house about Courtney and puts her in the hot seat one last time before giving out the roses. Ben and Courtney’s exchange was more of a slap on her wrist than the water boarding treatment that the viewing masses have been calling for. As the night ends, Rachel and Emily are sent home while Courtney, Kacie B., Lindzi and Nicki are rewarded with hometown dates.

In Defense of the Process

It’s not easy for me to see so many people rip into a good friend over the decisions that he is making every Monday. I mentioned earlier that Courtney put herself into solitary confinement as a result of her negative attitude but for Ben, this process is actually designed to be somewhat of a solitary confinement. Last season, Ben could bounce his fears and thoughts off of a bunch mostly like-minded dudes completely unlike this year where he is surrounded by a bevy of attractive women, not to mention, an entire production crew, yet he can confide and seek direction from NO one. The criticism of Ben to this point has been pretty harsh which I feel is unfounded because a lot of the viewers are seemingly failing to realize that the show was filmed many months ago and all of his decisions to this point have been based on about 90% LESS information than we are getting every Monday in the broadcast.

I have also heard from viewers that are angry that Ben hasn’t listened to the advice and warnings of the other girls on the show. Let’s take a different angle on this for a few minutes……

The “Courtney” that Ben has spent his time with is beautiful, confident, honest and sweet. He also has told us that she displayed just enough of a “weirdness” and “edge” that he is typically attracted to in a woman.

“and god help you if you are an ugly girl

course too pretty is also your doom

cause everyone harbors a secret hatred

for the prettiest girl in the room”

It was obvious to the viewers and to the other Bachelorettes that Ben and Courtney had a mutual attraction from the start of the show. Based on the above lyrics from Ani Di Franco and the repeated warnings about Courtney, what if Ben thought that all of the other girls (knowing that they saw how he and Courtney acted around each other) conspired to get the strongest girl off of the show first (ala Survivor) by making her out to be a terrible person?

My point is that we all have made mistakes, missed signs and ignored red flags in our own personal relationships. Imagine if every week, ten million people got to watch a tape of your highs and lows. I’m sure we would all have some horribly unflattering moments that would make us want to jump off of a cliff if any of our closest friends saw them much less strangers who would never fail to remind you of your least finest moments every time you tried to venture out of your house. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, no one is above criticism and everyone makes mistakes. How many times have your friends told you that they hated your girlfriend/boyfriend but you ignored them only to find out much later (and at a greater personal cost) that this person was indeed horrible and you wasted so much time on someone that your friends knew was bad news all along? True, Ben signed up for this process so he will get what he gets but if you are a viewer who REALLY has some true concerns about Ben’s decision making abilities then I feel it is important for you to play devil’s advocate on a show like this because I can honestly say that until you’ve been in front of the camera, it is almost impossible to describe the actual disconnect from reality.



    Comment by Jenna Burke — February 16, 2012 @ 11:29 am

  2. Perfect! You are absolutely correct. Your blogs are the perfect mix of empathy for the viewers disdain for Courtney and a dose of realty for what Ben was going through and what this process is truly like. You are no doubt a very GOOD friend to Ben.

    Comment by Melissa — February 16, 2012 @ 11:33 am

  3. So everyone is hating on Ben and Courtney, so in his defense you decide to throw Ashley and JP under the bus…not cool.

    The only one who thinks Courtney is the prettiest in the group is herself! Quite frankly there are a lot of the other girls who are more attractive.

    Reading this blog was a waste of time.

    Comment by Jacquie — February 16, 2012 @ 11:39 am

  4. Very articulate and well said, Constantine! You know Ben, unlike the masses, and you understand the process. Thank you for providing a different perspective.

    Comment by Spring — February 16, 2012 @ 11:40 am

  5. Very well written, Constantine. Ben’s lucky to have a friend like you in his corner!

    Comment by Kelly — February 16, 2012 @ 11:41 am

  6. Very eloquently written! It will be extremely interesting to see where Ben is at in the present with all this. It must be very difficult to be him right now with the amount of heat he is taking. But then again, he did sign up for it :-)

    Comment by Heather — February 16, 2012 @ 11:58 am

  7. I get that Ben is your friend, however I don’t think you needed to throw Ashley and JP under the bus. JP felt disconnected but he was actually in it for ASHLEY whereas its very obviously Courtney is in it to “win” not get the guy.. “winning” as she would say

    Comment by Krish — February 16, 2012 @ 12:03 pm

  8. Your sympathy for Courtney is disgusting.

    Ben and her deserve each other. The other women deserve better

    Comment by Lauren — February 16, 2012 @ 12:04 pm

  9. “…Bachelorettes’ bucket lists which probably include typical female goals like getting married and starting a family but are short on activities like shark diving and bridge climbing.”

    Yes, because all every woman wants in life is get married and hate on manly activities like swimming with completely harmless nurse sharks.

    Other than that offensively sexist and stupid statement, I liked your recap.

    Comment by Suzie — February 16, 2012 @ 12:07 pm

  10. It’s true that Ben doesn’t
    see what we the viewers see, I get that. Rumor has it he proposes to courtney, so I’m curious how he feels after seeing what we’ve seen.

    Comment by Faith — February 16, 2012 @ 12:26 pm

  11. Constantine: I totally agree with your blog. Furthermore, I may be the only woman in America that doesn’t think Courtney is all bad. Sure, she says a lot of inappropriate things and refers to finding love as a competition but I think it is a merely an acting job covering up a mountain of insecurities. I’ve had friends that behave similar to her when vying for a man’s affection and to my surprise, it usually seems to work. Don’t get me wrong….I do not find this behavior attractive but we all have our unique defense mechanisms to prevent heartache and to try to keep our pride intact and Courtney may just be acting liking a badass so that she won’t appear rejected if things go south. I am not saying this is the case since I do not know her but it is definitely a possibility. In addition, I do not believe that Courtney acts that much different around Ben as opposed to the girls. He has seen her eccentricities and she has been very vocal about her opinions around him. If he likes her…who are we to judge?

    Comment by Alicia — February 16, 2012 @ 12:32 pm

  12. Sorry, no sympathy from me. Ben disrespected the other women twice. He deserves to rot in purgatory with his self-centered, bitter she-devil. :)


    Comment by Tara — February 16, 2012 @ 12:35 pm

  13. Anyone else read this and automatically think ‘ahhhhh he knows that Ben ends up with Courtney so he’s just being nice, because Ben is his mate…’ LOL. :P

    Look, it’s pretty obvious when he took her aside at the last ceremony that she said it’s me or Emily. Which is a shame because I think Emily and Ben could have been great together…

    I do feel sorry for Ben, I think he’s been blindsided by a very very clever manipulator… she is completely in control and has been since the start. I’m just hoping that it’s another Molly/Jason situation and he comes to his senses one day… :)

    Comment by Lucy — February 16, 2012 @ 12:35 pm

  14. PS: I’ll truly criticize Ben if/when he watches the entirety of this show and is still WITH Courtney (provided he ends up with her at the end of the show in the first place :-)
    -representing the Great North (aka. Canada)

    Comment by Heather — February 16, 2012 @ 12:56 pm

  15. Oh Constantine….your a smart and articulate man and your empathy for your friend makes you so endearing.
    But the facts still are that Ben has seen and heard Courtney’s immature, spoiled and (lets not forget) annoying comments. For example, Shawntel is leaving without a rose and Courtney says, “See ya!”, this after referring to Shawntel as “what’s her butt”. Omg! Who says that?. As classless as that was I’m shocked he even looked at her the same. He knows what he’s doing. The question is, is she what he wants? If so, I agree, let him be. I feel bad he is getting trampled all over the internet but come on…..any guy that prefers a woman like that is asking for Douche Bag of the year award. Sorry:)

    Comment by Amanda — February 16, 2012 @ 12:57 pm

  16. You’re a fantastic writer I’m so glad you write these for us. Thank you.

    Comment by Joanna — February 16, 2012 @ 12:59 pm

  17. Loved your recap, however, I was a bit surprised at your sexist statement about women. And, J.P. was falling in love with Ashley and thereby the process became mentally taxing and emotionally frustrating (which he admitted to his brother)to share her with the other guys. Courtney “lost the spark” and thanks to editing, it appears that she never felt connected to the other girls.
    I do agree that she is a bit insecure.

    Comment by Jeanne — February 16, 2012 @ 1:30 pm

  18. Nice to see someone showing some loyalty to Ben. Don’t like Courtney butI’m surprised at how many Bachelor Nation members are trashing Ben.You guys know more than we about how much we don’t see and what it’s like to be on the “journey”.I think part of the reason people r so angry with Ben is because he’s had the benefit of seeing this M.O. before on the Bachelor. You get a women who can’t get along with the others in the house, but claims that the problem is with them not her i.e. they’re jealous because she’s making a stronger connection, or fake & insecure. This type of woman usually doesn’t have genuinely close relationships with women in her real life either but has a few male friends because of her hypersexuality. Okay, so there is the next red flag. The aggressiveness and hypersexuality. The third is the early ego stroking. The fourth is when the woman visits the Bachelor’s private quarters. The fifth is when one of the woman with a warm heart (or man on the bachelorette) tries to tell the guy that he’s not seeing the whole picture. The sixth is when others confirm this. How to get a rose before the Rose Ceremony? Pull a Bentley/Courtney. Tell the Bachelor or Bachelorettethat you’re really into them but imply that’s you’re having a “tough time” and “it’s really hard” because of “all the other women/men” that are there and tell them you’re not sure u should be there.

    Comment by Sheila — February 16, 2012 @ 1:33 pm

  19. Constantine – I loved you on the show. And I love how much thought you put in your blog. But, I think perhaps you were a little bit thoughtless in some of your comments.

    “Bachelorettes’ bucket lists which probably include typical female goals like getting married and starting a family”

    Like many men, yes, I would like to get married and start a family at some point. But, I assure you, my bucket list contains a lot of other things that you would probably be less snide about.

    And as much as I know the “women hate beautiful women” stereotype is easy to fall back on, there are A LOT of beautiful women on that show that aren’t the object of so much hate. Women that some people may even find more attractive that Courtney (personality aside). And what about fan-favourite Emily who is going to be the next Bachelorette? She is arguably one of the most beautiful women on the show, and she wasn’t ‘hated’ like Courtney.

    Anyways Constantine, I get that this is just a blog, but how about a little more respect for women and a little less stereotypes.

    Comment by Megan — February 16, 2012 @ 1:52 pm

  20. You’re pathetic to bring Ashley into this. She was over Bentley by epi 3 and you know it. From then it was all JP and they are still in love and together. Your buddy, Ben is s dbag, player and Courtney is perfect for him to make Cream Dreams, part two! Get over yourself.

    Comment by Megan — February 16, 2012 @ 1:58 pm

  21. I was also really offended and disappointed with your sexist comment about women and their main goal in life of getting married…what was up with that?

    I appreciate that you are trying to defend your friend. However, I still think he is ignoring plenty of red flags from his own dates with Courtney. Maybe he doesn’t see what we are seeing, but she isn’t even that good of a phoney and the fact that she can fool him only shows that he is a fool. You also pointed out that Ben has a double standard. He will put up with a lot of shit from Courtney that he won’t from anyone else. Why does he put her on a pedestal? I get that he is attracted to her, but if he is looking for something real, then he needs to be smart about it and look at the big picture. If he is ignoring all the warning signs simply because he wants it to work so badly with Courtney, he is only fooling himself and he really deserves what he gets in the end.

    Comment by ryan — February 16, 2012 @ 2:04 pm

  22. I think Constantine may have been joking when he said the thing about “women’s bucket lists” considering the overall tone of the blog. Just sayin’

    Comment by Heather — February 16, 2012 @ 2:07 pm

  23. Granted, yes, if it was a joke that should have been made more clear.

    Comment by Heather — February 16, 2012 @ 2:08 pm

  24. Wow, you’re still jealous of Ashley falling in love with JP and not your douchebag friend, Ben? How low class to even bring Ashley into the discussion, because you CANNOT defend Ben’s choiches when every single woman has told him about Courtney. None of you guys on Ashley’s season ever said a bad word about Bentley to Ash, so STFU, you sound like an illiterate jealous moron.

    Comment by Hootie — February 16, 2012 @ 2:23 pm

  25. *choices* typo

    Comment by Hootie — February 16, 2012 @ 2:24 pm

  26. F__k you, jerk! JP wanted the show over after his 2nd 1 on 1 in HK, he knew they loved each other and he wanted to start his life with Ashley and not share her with ding dongs like you and Ben. Get it??????? Nothing even close to the “Courtney playing stupid Ben show”. You are rude, lack manners and judgement. JP is class you and Ben are asses.

    Comment by Melissa — February 16, 2012 @ 2:32 pm

  27. Thanks Constatine for being a wonderful friend to Ben. You have been there and can see this from a different perspective. There are a couple of observational posts here that are right on. Faith and Jeanne. The sad thing that I see is that Courtney is not letting anyone see the real her. Everything she is doing is for the camera. The way she sits, the way she lounges, the tilt of her head…all for the camera. She is being a model…not a person. Ben has no idea in reality, at during the taping of this show, who or what the “real” Courtney is. She is obviously very insecure, and like Jeanne says…not capable of a lasting relationship. Her behavior (which Ben does not get to see) is so childish. I wish for him to be happy. I do however believe he is basically a down to earth person, and in the end if he does pick her, it will be another heart break for him…I surely hate to see that.

    Comment by Beverly — February 16, 2012 @ 2:54 pm

  28. This is my first time posting to any blog…I had to after your stupid comments about women and JP & Ashley. Your whole blog came off as an arrogant and ignorant rant. I’m sure there’s all sorts of reasons for the things Ben and Courtney are doing and saying. But they should just own it. You don’t need to make all sorts of excuses for them…or compare it to a completely different situation like JP & Ashley falling in love!

    Comment by Victoria — February 16, 2012 @ 3:01 pm

  29. I really enjoyed your blog and appreciate your friendship with Ben. I think it is wrong to compare Courtney with JP. JP was clearly in love with Ashley and they have been together for almost 10 months. They live together. All Courtney ever says is ‘WINNING”. I don’t see any love story developing. Ben seems like a very nice guy and I do hope he is happy at the end of this.

    Comment by Lisa — February 16, 2012 @ 3:10 pm

  30. I’m sorry, Constantine — while I really appreciate the open-minded, analytical approach you’ve taken with addressing Courtney’s behavior and not jumping on the “she beast” bandwagon that’s become so fun to ride, I do have to disagree with one of your points. Most viewers aren’t disappointed in Ben because of his decisions based on things he hasn’t seen — we’re disappointed in his decisions based on the things he has.

    He was there when Courtney called Shawntel “what’s her butt” and sang out “see ya” while she was leaving. Those statements were not only rude to Shawntel, but they screamed immature and petty.

    He was there when Courtney proposed stripping naked in front of cameras and crew members after only knowing him for a short while. That action screamed cheap and tacky. And the fact that he was a willing participant was disrespectful to the other women and showed him to be less of a gentleman than most viewers had believed.

    He was there when Courtney took her bra & panties off under native gear and continually jiggled her goodies in front of the local children. In front of children?? Yeah, no class and no comment.

    He was there when Courtney ripped on every girl in the house (which includes the girls he supposedly cares about) and said she only has good guy friends. Doesn’t every man know about women who only have guy friends??

    He was there when Courtney said “see ya, wouldn’t want to be ya” to poor Emily after she didn’t get the rose.

    And, finally, he’s been there when Courtney hasn’t once said she cared about him — unless it’s been edited out, which is possible. All of the other girls have expressed some sort of feelings for him, but the most he gets out of Courtney is “connection” and “spark”.

    So, no, we can’t really give him a pass on the basis of him not knowing what Courtney was all about. The things he DID see should’ve told him.

    Comment by V. — February 16, 2012 @ 3:11 pm

  31. I really enjoyed your blog. You are a very good writer! I can tell you are a very good friend to Ben. The only thing I disagree with is your comparison of Courtney and JP. You obviously didn’t see the love between them, but they live together and have been together almost a year. That in itself speaks volumes. They appear to be very happy. I never hear any endearing comments from Courtney about Ben. I realize editing is an issue, but she is the one constantly saying “WINNING”, this is not a competition. I think that term alone is horrible. It appears it is a game to her when from what I see on my screen. I think you have a good perspective, but definitely unfair to compare Courtney and JP.

    Comment by Lisa Marie — February 16, 2012 @ 3:19 pm

  32. Let me first be clear in saying that my comment about “Bachelorette Bucket list’s” was meant to be extremely sarcastic. I believe those who know me can vouch that I tend to use sarcasm quite often but I can understand how it doesn’t translate over well in this medium. Please remember that I have a sister, a mother and a wonderful girlfriend who I respect so the last thing I want to do is disrespect women. With that I’m sorry if I’ve offended you but I did mean it as a joke.

    Secondly, in referring to JP and Ashely my intent was ONLY to compare how he was ready to be on his own with Ashley in Fiji and away from the group. He was and still is someone I consider a friend. I was merely trying to make a point that once he fell for Ashely, hanging with the group no longer appealed to him and rightfully so. To defend myself and Ben, I walked away simply because I didn’t believe my feelings for Ashley warranted an overnight stay. I knew Ben and JP had much stronger feelings for her and I wasn’t going to waste her time.

    Lastly, I signed on to do this as I thought it would be fun. My intent was to bring some humor to the table and maybe a little insight into what Ben is going through with my knowledge of him and our experience on the show. For those calling for Courtney’s head or any other cast member for that matter, I’m sorry that’s just not my style. I’ve never met any of these women so my judgment is only within the context of what I see.

    If you think Ben is a “douchebag”, you are certainly entitled to your opinion. I just can’t figure out why you feel so motivated to let me know? You can be certain that if I thought so little of someone they probably would never know as I wouldn’t burn a single calorie to tell them.

    Again, thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts.

    All the best,

    Comment by Constantine — February 16, 2012 @ 3:37 pm

  33. Great Blog

    Comment by Mary Hart — February 16, 2012 @ 3:43 pm

  34. Wow, who’s a psychologist? You seriously might want to consider it! I have thought the same thing regarding Courtney’s lack of self confidence, that she tries to act really confident but underneath, she isn’t. And that’s okay except she is 28 years old and at some point we need to quit making excuses for not being a nice person. The only thing I will be hard on Ben about is that she has even been obnoxious to him. She has been manipulating him emotionally and I think it’s a little immature that he can’t see that. She is like a high school girl with all this I’ve lost the spark and if you didn’t give me a one on one date I was seriously considering not accepting a rose from you if you offered it. Really Constantine would you be able to see through this…..I think most mature men would. I can’t imagine being on this show on either side……I think I would rip my hair out but if I was on it, knowing that I was going to be on TV every Monday night I certainly wouldn’t act like Courtney. If he picks her, they both have a lot of growing to do and I honestly wish them happiness! Thanks for your very thoughtful blog and sticking up for your friend.

    Comment by Betsy — February 16, 2012 @ 4:17 pm

  35. Constantine,
    It is clear that you are a good friend to Ben, and I hope he appreciates that. It’s nice to see your attempt to stick up for him. That’s what friends do. Friends also provide counsel.

    You seem very frustrated with all the negativity, but I believe you brought this on yourself, simply by defending his actions. Particularly, your statement, “The criticism of Ben to this point has been pretty harsh which I feel is unfounded……” basically invites response. People like myself then want to explain to you why we believe the criticisms of Ben are in fact founded.

    Much of your defense surrounds his relationship with Courtney. While that plays a role, that certainly cannot be the core issue. After all, who hasn’t been played before?

    You also cite the process. But despite this, or any other process, a person’s fundamental values (or lack thereof) will come through. (Good time to read between the lines here.)

    And, you are right: No one’s life can stand up to the scrutiny of a microscope. But for Ben, this is the business he’s chosen.

    Anyway. Just my opinion.

    Now that he’s seen the same things the rest of us have seen, he clearly needs to man up and make a sincere and heartfelt apology to many of the women, but especially to Emily. I sincerely hope this happens in the WTA episode. You said that during filming, he had no one to turn to. He does now. You’re his friend. Counsel him.

    Comment by MJA — February 16, 2012 @ 4:40 pm

  36. Thanks for the blog. Enjoy your perspective. Without Courtney’s “entertainment value” many would be complaining about a BORING show.

    This season reminds me of the phrase–your perception is your reality.

    Comment by Bachfan — February 16, 2012 @ 5:09 pm

  37. Ben’s cream dream

    Comment by john — February 16, 2012 @ 5:15 pm

  38. First off, I just think that Ben is probably the worst bachelor since this show started and that’s just my opinion. Most of the time he doesn’t seem interested in getting to know some of the girls and looking for reasons to get rid of them and doesn’t seem engaged in conversations. He doesn’t even walk them out which happened in the last episode and comes accross as very cold at times. Definitely not bachelor material for sure. He is definitely in love with Courtney and honestly I don’t even have a problem with Courtney. She is just a very insecure girl and just has no respect for anyone thus all the rude comments and you cannot teach someone that. I can’t imagine having to live with someone like that for the rest of my life. Personally she’s probably feeling horrible about herself watching everything unfold as it has in the last few weeks. Ben definitely displays double standard with her and I honestly believe that even if he knew everything that she has said about the other girls, I don’t think that would have changed his mind about her. He did get a glimpse of that side of her during their one to one date this week and it didn’t bother him too much. He doesn’t even try to defend some of the girls that he has come to know and potentially has feelings for and that really bugs me. I mean he just lets her say whatever she wants cause he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings or possibly lose her. Everyhting he does at this point is to satisfy her. This season has been trainwreck. Ashley’s probably thankful that she picked JP cause clearly she never saw this side of Ben. Ben is just a boy trying to be a man.

    Comment by Sandy — February 16, 2012 @ 5:26 pm

  39. She makes small petty comments in front of your friend, the harsh reaction to him is justified. He is infatuated pure and simple. He is also a scared lil boy when “Confronting” her about these accusations yet has no problem laying into Emily when she voices concerns. I think these 2 deserve one another. All the other ladies are WAY too good for Ben. He is an idiot and she is a classless, self centered, Bitch with too high an opinion of herself.

    Comment by Trippinmom — February 16, 2012 @ 5:32 pm

  40. Constantine,
    your last paragraph proved that you are indeed a good friend to Ben.


    Courtney is still a b%@&h

    Comment by Francesca — February 16, 2012 @ 5:42 pm

  41. I hate reading all these hateful posts about Ben. Despite the fact that some viewers feel the “know” Ben – they don’t. We see an hour each week of “who” Ben is.

    So, he likes the mean girl. I’m sure most of us at one point in our lives have liked the bad girl/guy.

    I watch these shows for entertainment not to dissect every aspect of a person’s personality or looks.

    Great blog! Ben’s lucky to have you as a friend.

    Comment by Jennifer — February 16, 2012 @ 5:46 pm


    Comment by Melanie — February 16, 2012 @ 6:02 pm

  43. Agree Melanie. If they don’t allow for comments to be loderated on this forum, they really should imo.

    Comment by Heather — February 16, 2012 @ 6:04 pm

  44. moderated not loderated lol

    Comment by Heather — February 16, 2012 @ 6:05 pm

  45. Wow. It seems like some people may have commented several times under different names. The names might be different, but the aggressiveness and the tone are the same. Pretty weird. Some people are taking all this waaay too seriously and should get a life.

    Anyway, that was a good blog, Constantine. You seem like a good friend and a compassionate person. Please don’t let the haters affect you too much. ;-)

    Comment by Isa — February 16, 2012 @ 7:02 pm

  46. So smart and insightful–thanks Constantine for taking the time and care to write, and even to respond to some folks less thoughtful than yourself.

    Comment by Chris — February 16, 2012 @ 7:11 pm

  47. Really appreciate the comment you left explaining that the bucket list thing was a joke. I guess the humor just didn’t translate as clearly as the rest of your well-written and thoughtful post. I think you offer a different perspective than many others and I applaud you for sticking up for your friend- I’d do the same.

    Comment by Suzie — February 16, 2012 @ 9:38 pm

  48. Great Blog Constantine!!! Ben has a great friend in you, I think people get so caught up in the Courtney Drama they forget that Ben is only seeing a side to her that she wants him to see. I am sure as all of this is being shown on national tv Ben is seeing the different sides to all the ladies. At the end of the day, I hope that he is happy because I felt so bad for him when he was heart broken at the end of Ashley’s season. Wishing all the best to you,
    great job on the blog. You always “keep it real” :)

    Comment by Caroline Connor — February 16, 2012 @ 11:13 pm

  49. Yes, keep defending Ben – the guy who lied to a bunch of great women, was shown a total biatchy side of Courtney and still adored her anyways despite warnings from other. By the way Emily Maynard was considered to be very beautiful on her season and the women loved her – nobody had problems w/ her so to insinuate that it’s jealousy over her looks is so off. The only person who’s thinks she all that is her and Ben, the modelizer. Do you for one second think he would be this blind to her flaws if she wasn’t a model?

    I gotta say I understand that you want to defend Ben, but why did you have to throw Ashley & JP under the bus? What has Ashley ever done to you to get such disdain from you first on the show, in interviews, then on Twitter and now this? She made a poor choice w/ picking you, who was so not into her, but the worst thing she did to you was bring you on an amazing trip all over the world and boosted your ego (which I might add is overinflated right now). I just don’t get the barely civil disdain you have for them – you may not see it, but others do b/c it’s so apparent and striking. If they were smart people they really need to stay away from you and not pay attention to anything you say which I think is what I’m going to do from now on as well.

    Comment by Leslie — February 16, 2012 @ 11:19 pm

  50. Dude, I like your blog; it’s very well-written. I understand that we, the viewers, see very little of what actually goes on. Still think Courtney’s probably a bitch in real life, though. You’re a good friend to Ben and will be a shoulder for him to cry on every time Courtney tells Ben she’s “losing the spark” whenever she doesn’t get her way.


    Comment by Jolene — February 17, 2012 @ 12:43 am

  51. WOW DINO, this really confirms what everyone has known all along. You are bitter because in watching your season play out, you know Ashley took you to final 3 because you were always honest with her and that she could play the friend card. She knew you were not emotionally invested in her like Ryan, even Lucas, and Ames therefore she had to let them go first. Got to give you credits for being a gentleman to walk. But the way that you keep going on and on on Twitter to answer fans’ questions about the reasons you walked reflected a huge ego.

    let ‘s face it. Ashley’s reaction to your leaving in Episode 9 is no more than Ben’s reaction to Britney leaving in episode 3. That’s enough of a blow to your ego.

    Bentley should have done exactly what you did to promote his business. And I’m sure Ashley had and still have no problem with it whatsoever, because you know, she is a classy girl and a good sports. She understands she wasted your time also, so in exchange for that she would come to your restaurant to wait on tables for a little bit.

    There’s no way to compare Courtney to JP. It’s a shame to pull their names into this mess of the season. They are so over the fact that they met on a reality show and are living their normal life together. Don’t beat the dead horse.

    When a fan leaves a comment like “other guys would have slept with her then dumped her afterwards” then goes on to praise your action on your fb page, you are great to thank them for their compliment but it would have been nice to say something like”but Ash is nice, just not feel right” instead of letting your fans put down Ashley like that on YOUR facebook page. Come one, show some goodwill towards Ash and JP.

    This blog post shows your issues with Ashley and JP. Almost everyone who came off from Ash’s season respected Ash and JP, the same can’t be said of Ben’s castoffs who so far has nothing nice to say about Court.

    Comment by confused — February 17, 2012 @ 1:37 am

  52. The recap of the blog was written well ok and youre “friends” with Ben. I know we only see a snip of what is actually going for the time that is flimed, but THAT IS what we judge the girls on. I dont buy for one second that Courtney was feeling “less buzzed” about Ben that was her way to get what she wanted , to dangle the carrot in his face. Men want what men cant have. Soooo why not say Im not so into this anymore , and she(Emily) didnt treat me right and you still have her around. Blah Blah Blah. Courtney was rude to go swimming in that pool when Ben was trying to talk to one of the girls on some one and one time. Ben listend to her ( Courtney) with open ears and didnt shut her down when she talked about Emily or the other girls for that matter, and didnt he say he wanted a strong confident girl? Well he was so worried about her being insecure. I like Ben dont get me wrong I just think he is/has been played. From going from class act Ashley to trashy talking mean spirted Courtney miles apart! I wonder what his Mother thinks ? She will be watching the show and Im sure not so pleased!

    Comment by Julie B — February 17, 2012 @ 3:15 am

  53. “felt that Ashley’s lack of coherent decision making adversely affected us and could in fact make the entire process a complete waste of time for some guys that were truly looking for love.”

    what does that even mean? looking back, Ashley made solid decisions, and she handled the bentley situation the best she could. Her decision to tell the JP and the group about Bentley was a GREAT one. She did her best to make it work for every party involved and to give all of you guys a good experience.

    you proudly claim you’re a gamer Constantine. You got what you needed from the experience. Moving on! I’m sure Ben is sympathetic with Ashley now that he ‘s on the other side of the game. I don’t think you’re ever in a position to say “Ashley’s incoherent decision making unless you went through it.

    From what is written here and your fb/twitter exchanges, you sound very resentful. It’s honorable that you stand up for Ben. But you re trying so hard to be sophisticated with your writing style that the whole thing comes off not as convincing and heart-felt.

    Comment by confused — February 17, 2012 @ 4:43 am

  54. First, this isn’t reality, it’s reality television. What makes good TV: drama. He had to have a clue going into it what he would be getting. He probably went into it thinking, 1. I’ll sell more wine 2. Travel the world with beautiful women all vying for my attention 3. If something comes out of it romantically, great. If not, I still sell more wine and won’t have any trouble meeting women post-Bachelor. He seems bored around anyone who isn’t Courtney to the point of being rude. He shows his emotions very plainly down to his kisses. What I think America is pissed off at him about is that he seems not to be looking out for any of these women and their feelings, but only out for himself. We all saw Brad Womack last season, so careful about how each woman felt, quite the gentleman, so Ben is just a stark contrast. Not saying he’s not one in real life, but on TV, he sure as heck ain’t. At least he’ll sell more wine. And if he’s lucky, grow a bit from the process.

    Comment by Cathleen — February 17, 2012 @ 5:17 am

  55. I think your blog is one of the more reasonable ones that I have seen. I definitely think that people are treating this as so black and white, rather than shades of grey. Most things in life are not ‘good or evil’, most people behave the way they do for underlying reasons that aren’t always easy to decipher.

    I also do not think that this environment was really a good set up for Courtney. Maybe I’ve been giving her the benefit of the doubt based on my past experience. I can definitely attest to being treated differently based on looks (having had modeling experience in my past and people always making assumptions/treatment based on appearances). I always did have a lot of guy friends as well (though not that much now that I’m married). I’ve always found it easier having a few close girlfriends, and do not tend to travel with a ‘pack’ of girlfriends. However, I don’t generally outwardly profess my feelings about those who treat me poorly, like I’m seeing this on the show. I would guess those times we’re seeing her make statements during alone time with the camera she’s being prompted to answer questions from producers who are no doubt thrilled with her ‘honest and candid’, sometimes theatric, responses. They’re thinking about ratings, not caring about what impact these statements have on the couple’s future.

    I also wonder how much alcohol they serve during these shows. Courtney seems much more reserved when there isn’t alcohol involved. It definitely seemed like during the short cocktail party/rose ceremony that Courtney was fairly tipsy. I do think that I’ve seen that spark between them from the beginning. I believe her feelings are real, however she’s not always gone about doing things the best way on this show. I definitely give her points for her self confidence, and generally doing what she wants to do regardless of what the pack thinks…I just think if she does wind up being who Ben picks there is going to be such a public backlash from the press that it would doom a successful relationship.

    Comment by Chris — February 17, 2012 @ 5:55 am

  56. @Jolene Not everyone here has overreated and many of us have stood up for Constantine and/or pointed out that he meant certain thing jokingly and it is ONLY A TV SHOW. So please don’t lump us all together.

    Comment by Heather — February 17, 2012 @ 7:17 am

  57. Dannnnng all you haters–talk about jumping to conclusions. It’s clear from most of these comments that people didn’t get the points you were trying to make, Constantine. I thought your blog was insightful, especially getting the perspective of someone who was in the competition up to close to the end. Obviously you saw some red flags with Ashley that let you know she wasn’t the gal for you. I don’t really see how that’s throwing her and JP under the bus–they are obviously your friends, and you treated Ashely with more respect than we’ve seen a guy treat a girl on this show in a long time (you could’ve gone to the fantasy sweet but you were enough a gentleman to not use her). It was also a big way to respect two good friends you’d made on the show. How do people not get that?
    Anyway, I also got your sarcasm in the Women’s bucket list fiasco–it made me laugh out loud. Obviously, most of these women came on the show to find a husband, so it’s something on their bucket list. Most of them did not come on the show because they thought, “Let’s conquer my greatest fears”….then they would have gone on fear factor!
    Anyway, keep on writing Constantine, I really enjoyed your insight!
    PS–totally agree with V. Fans of the show have a bad taste in their mouth about Ben now due to the fact of all he HAS seen about her that doesn’t bother him. A lot of people go really low in making hateful comments about his looks, clothes, whatever. I think it’s okay to say, “hey, this guy is not making wise decisions in my opinion”….but I don’t think it makes him the devil either! He’s probably still a great guy, we are watching one small “journey” in his life–one he probably learned a ton from. Hope he’s able to redeem himself a bit in America’s eyes (for one by apologizing to the women at WTA for the skinny dipping incident…it was just way too disrespectful to them all).
    Anyway, that’s my two cents. Please don’t stop writing these blogs, adn readers–lighten up, or stop reading!!

    Comment by Penelope — February 17, 2012 @ 10:34 am

  58. @ Heather Sorry Heather, didn’t mean to lump everyone together. As for these “others” who are still judging Constantine & jumping to ludicrous conclusions – wtf, are you people drunk reading?

    Comment by Jolene — February 17, 2012 @ 10:44 am

  59. Thanks Jolene and no problem :-) More ar elike what are they smoking? (hint* definitely something stronger than pot)

    Comment by Heather — February 17, 2012 @ 11:06 am

  60. sorry for the typos

    Comment by Heather — February 17, 2012 @ 11:06 am

  61. First off, I really enjoy reading your blogs. They’re well written and definitely offer a different point of view. It’s nice that you’re giving Courtney the benefit of doubt, but I wonder if this is a just an attempt to save face with Ben. I understand your “breaking point” theory, but there is NO way you can compare Courtney to JP. He barely said an unkind word about you or any of the other guys, whereas Courtney hasn’t uttered a single kind word about anyone. JP was a well liked guy who had genuinely fallen for Ashley. He also was able to own his feelings and his actions when he was in a bruding mood. Courtney seems more interested in coming out top and other than her empty words and cattiness shows little evidence of a deep and sincere love. In a year if Ben is still with Courtney, I will change my tune, but I don’t think that it’s going to happen.

    You’ve got to face it. Courtney would NEVER be interested in Ben if she had met him in the real world. Also, if Ben was truly ready to settle down and mature enough to see the genuine beauty and depth in the other great girls, he would have dumped Courtney long ago. It’s nice that you’re a loyal friend because he’s going to need you when all of this is over.

    Comment by LO — February 17, 2012 @ 12:17 pm

  62. Constantinge,
    I would take this blog seriously if Ben’s decision making was only being criticized by viewers. Just take a poll around Bachelornation, many of whom have also gone through the “process” and see how it negates your reasoning.
    As for your reference to JP,while we saw his frustration we never once doubted that his feelings towards Ashley were genuine and not manipulative. I cannot forget the episode where he said in theory he knew what he signed up for, but as hard as it was he wasn’t going anywhere, she would have to get rid of him. Contrast that with,if I don’t get a rose, I’m gone because I can’t cope or I’m not sure I’m going to accept a rose, yada yada yada.
    I think the public is angry because they love Ben, want him to be happy and see him falling for someone who onscreen appears to be “playing” him.
    During Ashley’s time, I had stopped watching because I don’t like to see people humiliated, it wasn’t until I saw JP’s video blog, that I resumed because he told us that he understood and was equally shocked by the things he saw but to have faith in Ashley. What say you Ben?

    Comment by Reality_bites — February 17, 2012 @ 5:46 pm

  63. I have to admit, I feel kind of bad for Ben, and I’m wondering what he’s thinking as he’s watching this season play out, or if he’s still watching this season play out. You’re dead-on about what we, the audience see vs. what Ben sees.

    The biggest reason I feel badly for him though, is that it’s obvious the poor boy is so utterly infatuated with this chick that he’s got a blind spot right smack over the really rude or nasty things that she does right in front of him. He just doesn’t see it. Worse yet, the rest of America is seeing it, and proclaiming him an idiot, and there’s really nothing he can say to defend himself as far as that goes.

    Now there’s two ways this could go – either he really, genuinely just didn’t know and if he HAD known he would have acted differently – which is fine as far as I’m concerned. People make stupid errors in judgment all the time.

    The other way it could go, and the one I have utterly no sympathy for, is that he saw all this being played out and he simply didn’t care because he wanted some model ass. That’s the kind of person I loathe.

    For the record, I’m hoping he’s just a good natured doof who didn’t realize what was going on right in front of him, because I really liked him on Ashley’s season and he seemed like a decent enough guy.

    Comment by Anne — February 17, 2012 @ 7:43 pm

  64. “I walked away simply because I didn’t believe my feelings for Ashley warranted an overnight stay.”

    yada yada yada. she did not care. That was her intention all along. She took you there because you were easy to let go. How could she cry when Lucas and Ryan left and not shed a single tear for you at final 3? lol
    Didn’t you see how relieved she looked after she dealt with you?

    now that Ben’s eliminated women say they dodged a bullet, you try to take the target off Ben by throwing Ash and JP under the bus. Classy.

    Comment by P. — February 17, 2012 @ 8:16 pm

  65. Boy did you take an butt whupping in the comments. If you could be totally honest, wouldn’t you say.

    “Come on everybody, settle down. Very early on Ben chose Courtney, Ashley chose J.P., Brad chose Emily, Ali chose Roberto, etc,, etc. All the other contestants knew it. All the stuff that’s ticking you off is just producer and format B.S.”

    Comment by Jim — February 17, 2012 @ 9:51 pm

  66. Constatine, you are clueless – lack analytic depth comparing JP to Courtney! I screamed WOW when I read your comparison. You were NEVER into Ashley, you commented that you were “done” after episode 6 after she told you guys about Bentley but still accepted the rose. You asked Ashley to let you stick around each week so that you could get to know her, but in fact All you wanted was to get a home town visit and promote your restaurant and your words “business has improved at your restaurant after the show” – remember your Atlanta TV interview!!! For BEN its all about promoting envolve wines! He even said Ashley chose safe by picking JP and that he may not have been in love with Ashley. Most of you guys were on the show for wrong reasons. I respect JP for not taking the home town date to his dad’s rental condo in St. Thomas. YOU HAVE TO OWN UP TO IT – IT WAS ABOUT GIORGIOS for you AND BEN ABOUT ENVOLVE -who knew these names before you guys appeared on the show????? I love and respect JP for the man he is and was on the show. Defend your friend but PLEASE leave JP and Ashley out of this. Hate you for this – I know hate is a strong word to use but that is how you have made me feel! Get a life!

    Comment by Maria P. — February 17, 2012 @ 10:22 pm

  67. Maria, I applaud you in seeing straight through my “nice guy” routine to the inner money hungry, fame whore who was hell bent on putting my family’s 20 year business on the map. I can’t believe I soiled such a chivalrous process with my selfish agenda…can’t seem to find the sarcasm button?

    You’re right, hate is a strong word. Especially considering you’re using it to describe someone you’re never met in defense of others who don’t even know you exist. Sounds like you live a rich and rewarding life, I’m truly envious.

    I hope you can channel your justified hate into more rewarding activities. I don’t know, say recycling?


    Comment by Constantine — February 18, 2012 @ 6:22 am

  68. I don’t think Courtney is any prettier than the other girls except in her head.

    Comment by Carol — February 18, 2012 @ 6:47 am

  69. shocks me how upset people get over this show and these people they don’t know. Don’t we all have our own lives to worry about? Come on people, ease up! I thought the post was very well written. I feel sad for Ben and Courtney because once the show finishes airing it’s going to be really tough for them :(

    Comment by Ash — February 18, 2012 @ 7:18 am

  70. I watch the Bachelor for entertainment. No idea why people get so worked up over it or act as if they personally know the ‘characters’ on this show. That said, I love the ‘character’ of Courtney, and I think she brings out a lot in Ben´s personality. Don´t understand all the hate being thrown and her and Ben. It´s not as if they have committed crimes against humanity or anything. It must take a very strong person to deal with all the negativity thrown at you after doing this stupid show.

    Comment by lahlah — February 18, 2012 @ 8:57 am

  71. Constantine, boy did Maria P. hit a nerve with you. First off, since the contestants appear for little to nothing and the show makes millions in profits for the producers, why shouldn’t the contestants benefit in their personal lives or careers, especially if they or their business is worthy, especially since they and not Fleiss or ABC are the show. Giorgios’s, as I hear is a good restaurant. Good for your family and you.

    You wonder why viewers are pissed. Basically, we were promised a season of the fun loving Ben finding true love. What we’ve been getting is a hackneyed, trite, boring waste of time built around the ridiculous Courtney. The ratings don’t lie. Not even nudity, not even Chris Harrison’s endless BS can save this season.

    As to your “there were times when J.P. didn’t want anything to do with the process or the group”. Was one of those times in Taiwan when he withdraw for a couple of days after Ashley originally gave the group date rose to Lucas? That’s when she told him she loved him and wanted to get him back, right? Come on now, don’t lie.

    Comment by Jim — February 18, 2012 @ 9:08 am

  72. I’m actually becoming kind of disturbed and incredulous that I watch the same show as some of the people here. I think I need to take a break from reading some of these crazy and disturbing comments and go back to having fun watching my one “guilty pleasure” reality show with my girl friends and having fun with it. I thought I was a big enough fan to read and comment on blogs, but I wasn’t prepared for the crap people say lol

    Constantine I’m sorry you have to deal with this crap. Tell the site to get moderators or something. I don’t know you but you seemed like a good guy on Ashley’s season.
    Take care,

    Comment by Heather — February 18, 2012 @ 9:20 am

  73. PS: It’s scary what happens when people are given anonymity on the internet. I’m willing to bet that half of the people who made the craziest comments here wouldn’t have the lady-balls to say it to your face if they ever met you. So consider that as well. God Bless.

    Comment by Heather — February 18, 2012 @ 9:30 am

  74. Heather, I hope I’m one of the guys that doesn’t have lady-balls. I’d love to have chance to tell Dino to his face that Ben’s season is a boring POS. It is.

    Listen and learn. The show is FAKE. Last season’s Bentley. FAKE. Last season’s Ben romance and proposal. FAKE. Last season’s Chrystie’s objection. FAKE, but entertaining. The only real thing in last season’s was Ashley and J.P.’s romance, but the dumb*ss producers edited at least 75% of that out to try to convince you Ben or any other guy had a chance.

    The only things not FAKE this season were Courtney’s and Ben’s bare butts. Her’s was nice by the way. I’ll leave it to you to comment on Ben’s.

    The cardinal sin of any show, reality or drama, real or fake is to be boring. This season and Ben are boring. I would agree it’s not Ben’s fault. He’s only doing what the producers tell him to. Ask Dino if he would have lasted on the show if he didn’t done what the producers told him to. My only caveat to his answer is that the producers also tell the contestants to lie.

    Have a nice day and God Bless you too.

    Comment by Jim — February 18, 2012 @ 10:52 am

  75. Jim: Only you know if you have lady-balls. Reality TV is FAKE?! SERIOUSLY?!(that was sarcasm ;-) You mean what I was saying about some people here overracting and acting as if reality tv is real and are thus a little scary to me was correct and warranted? Ok thanks for clarifying.

    Comment by Heather — February 18, 2012 @ 10:57 am

  76. You’re an evil prick. Let JP and Ashley alone. Go party with frat-boy-drunk Ben. Sounds like you and stormhorse got a bruised ego, knowing now that Ashley felt nothing for either of you. Can’t say I blame her. And btw, you and Ben need a haircut. That Geico caveman look left in the ’80′s

    Comment by Millie — February 18, 2012 @ 3:02 pm

  77. I think you may be misunderstanding the backlash. Ben’s choices seem far less worthy of criticism than the way he’s been treating the ladies. Just this past week, for example, why didn’t he walk Rachel or Emily out? The skinnydipping incident is obviously disrespectful, as was telling Emily to “tread lightly,” the way he spoke to Samantha, and what seems to be apathy to anyone but Courtney. this is a different guy than we met last season.

    Also, Courtney began to dig her own public-image grave before the others were aware of Ben’s feelings for her, and before their first 1 on 1 date, when she surprised everyone by asking Kacie “How did that feel coming out of your mouth?” She’s very pretty but hardly the most attractive woman we’ve seen on this show. No offense, but you sound more impressed by the title “model” than anyone should be. The really impressive title should really be “epidemiologist”. :)

    Anyway, Ben’s not having eyes in the back of his head is understandable. His being rude and disrespectful consistently is not understandable. There is no excuse for Courtney’s apparently complete lack of class and grace.

    Comment by steph — February 18, 2012 @ 6:03 pm

  78. Wow things have gone heated up in here. Well, I definitely think that you are entitled to your opinion but you have to admit that some of the things that Ben has done has not been right and you would have not done them yourself. I just feel sorry for the girls cause you go throught this process and put yourself out there hoping that the guy you are with will respect your feelings and be honest with you and that’s not the case. He never really gave any of the girls a chance and in a way it is good thing cause they deserve better. Since the whole skinny dipping incident, I’ve lost all my respect for Ben. I would have never done that in a million years cause it is just disrespectful to the other girls. He hasn’t particularly carried himself in a great way either and his rude comment to Emily a few episodes ago was just uncalled for. He also seems unresponsive and disinterested when the other girls are trying to describe their feelings for him. Maybe he was uncomfortable but I higly doubt.

    As for Courtney, if she had been on any other of the Bachelor season, she would have been long gone. They do belong together. Anyway, the only saving grace for this season might be Women Tell All episode and I’m definitely looking forward to that.

    Comment by S — February 18, 2012 @ 6:18 pm

  79. Constantine,

    I sure hope you can ignore all the negative, outrageous comments! I’m sorry you have to deal with all this, and please don’t stop writing blogs because of it. I really appreciate your insights on Ben and the process.

    I never thought you were throwing Ashley and JP under the bus. And I never thought you were being sexiest. Geez people, get a grip. I’m shocked at how much people can overreact.

    Ignore the haters and keep writing…

    Comment by robin — February 18, 2012 @ 9:36 pm

  80. Constantine,
    Glad you are a good friend to Ben and i believe that he and Courtney may be right for each other. I don’t know, however,why you would “trash” JP and Ashley. Where were you when all the “hateful” Bentley words exploded? I don’t remember a defense then. JP, Ames and Ryan P. defended her -never saw a kind word from you and she was publicly humiliated.
    Disrespectful to try to compare JP to Courtney.
    Wish you well in your life and business. Hope you and Ben are happy.

    Comment by Carol — February 19, 2012 @ 10:09 am

  81. Heather, OK you are I agree the show is fake. People shouldn’t think it’s life and death. Can we also agree that this season is beyond belief BORING?

    That’s my problem. Who cares if it’s real or fake, TV needs to be entertaining.

    Ben was the prototype bachelor. The women were beautiful. The locations were fantastic with Switzerland still to come. Fleiss and his crew could have made a great show. Instead, they made a hackneyed, trite, boring POS that even the first nudity in 23 seasons couldn’t save. And this is on the heels of last season where Ashley and J.P. had the best romance since Trista and Ryan. Fleiss couldn’t show us that though. We had to watch the ridiculous BS with Bentley and Ben.

    Can we agree on that?

    Comment by Jim — February 19, 2012 @ 12:53 pm

  82. seriously, you cannot get over the fact that Ashley did not feel anything for you even though she took you that far? You keep talking over and over about YOU DECIDING TO LEAVE. She did not bat an eye!

    I liked Ben on Ashley’s season. She brought out the best in him-the side of Ben people fell in love with. Got to credit Ash with that.

    Now Courtney – the dilemma. Ben got to be stuck with her, which makes him look like a fool; or he has to dump her because the world hate on her, which makes him a coward. Poor Ben.

    Comment by you're so vain — February 19, 2012 @ 6:57 pm

  83. Ben’s Cream

    Comment by Nick — February 20, 2012 @ 7:40 am

  84. Constantine,

    If you’re still reading this comment section (I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t), I have a viewer question – what is Ben really like? I’ve noticed on past seasons how boring they make the Bachelors look by editing out all the fun stuff and it’s only towards the end of the season when I see the “bloopers” reel and lately a few of the “uncensored” scenes that I’m like “hey, these guys actually have a sense of humor.” I think they did a really bad edit of Ben and he’s getting a bad rap – so as a close friend of his, can you tell us what his personality is like? Because the show isn’t showing much! I’m wondering if you can write more about this on your next blog.

    p.s. @ Heather – you’re right, some of these commentors are definitely smoking something strong because it’s making them downright paranoid and coming up with the weirdest conclusions…they don’t even know this guy!

    Comment by Jolene — February 20, 2012 @ 3:05 pm

  85. Just a thought, to those commenters who keep getting so worked up over people you don’t even know, calling Constantine a pri#@, writing about “throwing JP and Ashley under the bus”, etc. etc.: GET HELP NOW. Seriously. This is like a crazy social experiment.

    Comment by Isa — February 20, 2012 @ 8:19 pm

  86. lol I haven’t been back here since my last comment cause I just couldn’t hack it.
    Jim: I totally agree, it’s pretty boring this season. I think the Women Tell All and After the Final Rose might be the only entertaining episodes left.
    @Jolene (you made me laugh out loud with your elaboration of evidence they are smoking something lol)
    @Isa: this would be an AWESOME social experiment. How crazy can people actually get when given anonymity and the internet? Some of these people seem to be tripping the crazy wire pretty heavily….

    Comment by Heather — February 21, 2012 @ 7:55 am

  87. This will be the LAST season I can stomach of this show! The only thing entertaining about it is the places they get to travel to. I used to like “The Bachelorette” too, but as sweet as Emily is, and as sad as the events in her life have been, I can’t take her talking about it and crying over it again in every upcoming episode. Disappointed in the downward spiral of the whole concept of the show.

    Comment by Jennifer Kennybrook — February 21, 2012 @ 9:23 pm

  88. Jennifer Kennybook, I agree with 100% , I’m with you I will not watch anymore of this nonsense. Im happy for the couples who have found love on the show and hope they continue to be happy. (bach/bachelorette/bachpad) I think its run its course.

    Comment by Julie B — February 22, 2012 @ 6:17 am

  89. Constantine, You are doing a great job. This blog, favorite comment “butt whupping” hysterical..very geographic. (being a Southern girl/lady myself.)

    Comment by Cynthia Baker — February 22, 2012 @ 5:09 pm

  90. Watching the Bachelor for entertainment is true….but many of us get caught up in what we consider to be true feelings. After all, the show is suppose to be about finding true love. I don’t find fault with anything Constantine has said – he has the right to his opinion. I have watched every episode and get upset if I miss it on t.v. then have to watch on the net – but my entertainment value is caught up in the emotions, mine and the ladies.

    The excuses for Courtney behaving because of insecurities could be true to a certain extent but there is no excuse at all for her truly mean-spirited bitchiness. I have no doubt she is being egged on by producers and staff but she is ultimately responsible for her behavior – aren’t we all? I’ve had to kick myself for things in the past, but I can honestly say – being a genuinely kind person – that I would never sit in front of a camera knowing the number of viewers watching and say the hateful things she has. Moreover, I honestly don’t get why anyone would say “winning!” like Charlie because he clearly wasn’t winning anything…to me it’s like saying “dumbass!”…

    Comment by PJ — February 23, 2012 @ 8:44 pm

  91. Finally a thoughtful comment. I to the contrary of the majority as I read lately would love for Courtney and Ben to make it and ignore all this insensitive bashing they been subjected to. I do not know either one of them as do not most of the people who want Ben to act according to their beliefs and will. HE is in love and ha should stand up for his lady the issue is not about their relationship per say but is about her not getting along with the other ladies, who cares? Frankly if Her hatred were in her place they would have definitely shown a more evil side to them; being outside the situation and look how nasty and selfish they are. It is about Ben finding a lady he loves not about him pleasing you all…..ta.ta

    Comment by Radia — February 23, 2012 @ 9:37 pm

  92. I don’t see a reason to hate on Ben for the fact that he kept Courtney around. It’s his life and he can live it however he wants. However, he is just disrespectful to the other women on his show. Worst bachelor for sure (not because he is dumb and kept courtney around but because he is boring and disrespectful). Especially his comment about telling Emily to “tread lightly” WTF?! I’m sure all the eliminated ladies are relieved/glad that they dodged a bullet

    Comment by earl — February 24, 2012 @ 12:02 pm

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