Vision Of Division

As I watched this week’s episode I kept thinking to myself: “I don’t know how he does it?” It’s hard for me to stomach the thought of Ben having to give twenty-four “it’s not you, it’s me” talks in less than two months. Being the Grim Reaper of Romance is bad enough without the added pressure of being under America’s microscope as you help each heartbroken woman into her taxi back to reality only to have to run right back upstairs and appear ecstatic in front of the remaining women. There was a time when I actually thought it would be easy for Ben to navigate these treacherous waters and that “time” probably ended about ten minutes into the first episode when the crying and clawing commenced.

This week we find our Bachelor and his three finalists traveling to “exotic” Switzerland and I think the description is more aptly named for the fantasy suite portion of the show rather than the actual destination. Although I wouldn’t describe Switzerland as “exotic” it is however, absolutely breathtaking. I’ve never really thought of traveling there but after seeing Ben and Nicki’s date, it is now a must on my bucket list…Switzerland not Nicki.

It is clear that Nicki’s time apart from Ben only strengthened her loving feelings that she first expressed to Ben in Texas during their hometown date. She truly seems happy and secure in her feelings for Ben and it seems like she has finally regained her personal confidence, which will help her entire life regardless of the show’s final outcome.

It should come as no surprise to any faithful viewer that the next part of the date involves a helicopter, a picnic and a conversational recap of the successful hometown visit. The problem with the date was that the scenery almost diverted our complete attention from an otherwise “cookie cutter” conversation that lacked depth or real feeling. Later in the evening, the depth I was seeking earlier (not exactly) is present when the two potential lovebirds discuss what life together outside of The Bachelor bubble would be like. Nicki has apparently been reading The Secret, based on the plethora of positive thoughts emanating from her regarding her future life with Ben. The hard part about a show like this is that all standard dating norms will invariably be thrown aside during the process with an example of this being Ben and Nicki’s family planning conversations during dinner. In real life, most of us would probably be alarmed if we were dating a new person who openly discussed the number of children that they wanted after a short time of knowing them but with the fantasy suite looming I guess it’s FULL SPEED AHEAD on the slightly premature, slightly scary talk! If you listen closely, you can actually hear Nicki’s Pelvis shriek in pain after Ben tells her that he wants four kids. Easy Casanova! It’s not a clown car!

Nicki then tells us that she is willing to chance heartache in order to find love with Ben because the reward for actually “feeling” again far outweighs the risk. Her descriptions of Ben are very emotional and without any doubt. Ben, even though he mentions the word “love” seems much more business-like in his approach. It is almost like he knows that a girl like Nicki would be very good for him but he seems to be struggling to convince himself that he should feel more for her than he actually does. They definitely get along, but Nicki spoke to Ben the entire evening like she was interviewing for a job. Ben took in all of her attempts to sell herself as the perfect companion but he failed to validate any of her bullet points or reassure her in her feelings. The roots of a long term, stable relationship are present but I just don’t feel the two are on the same levels in terms of their feelings for one another. Nicki ignores Ben’s subtle and almost silent stop signs and accepts his invitation to “forgo her individual room” and spend the evening with the man she has fallen in love with at the risk of her own heart. 

Is Michael Bay Planning These Dates?

In stark contrast to Ben’s first date with Nicki in Switzerland, Lindzi is treated to what Ben calls “a little adrenaline date.” Lindzi, who hails from the Sunshine State, obviously missed the memo: “bring a jacket as you will be rappelling in Switzerland.” The date/stunt would’ve been the perfect trust building exercise in week two but this far in the process it just seems a bit out of place. Regardless, the couple ignores their fear (and date Déjà vu) and attempt to draw parallels between dangling from a thin piece of cord 300 feet above jagged rocks and their future, potential relationship. Obviously, Ben really took Courtney’s father’s words of wisdom to heart: “marriage is life’s greatest gamble,” by doing so many dangerous things that getting married to a woman you barely know would almost seem tame in comparison. Our two Sexy Swiss Swashbucklers (say that five times fast) escape the Alps untarnished and for the better as we next find them teleported into a tiny hot tub. I personally would like a tad bit more foreplay before getting all hot and bothered and to think how many readers rip me apart for not using enough transitional sentences!

After the steamy, hot, sweat session in the Hot Tub Time Machine the adventurous couple sit down for dinner….IN A HELICOPTER! Nope, just a standard dinner with plates and forks at a table.  It was hard for me to focus on the typically very guarded Lindzi as she fully opened up to Ben because of his choice of neckwear. A BIG BOW TIE! I didn’t know if Ben had secretly joined the Nation of Islam or if he was merely in the process of solving a very intense math equation but their conversation was everything that Ben and Nicki’s was not. Ben is extremely grateful that Lindzi has finally exposed the complete “her” in an effort to find love again and he is very forthcoming about his feelings for Lindzi and throws the word “love” around with ease, which was not the case on his date with Nicki.

Lindzi turns to Ben, only the second man that she has ever brought home and proclaims: “I’m falling in love with you. I like where this is going and I would want to see this end with a proposal.” This direct wish clearly leaves Ben in flux to which he replies in his best Bill and Ted: “wow!” Ben regains his composure and ends the evening stating that he could definitely see himself with Lindzi long-term and I believe him. I am unsure if Lindzi can overtake Courtney but she has definitely taken a firm hold on the number two position. Ben proceeds to invite Lindzi to spend the rest of the evening together away from the cameras and they head off to the private suite where I can only guess that actions spoke much louder than words. 

Tennis Anyone?

Last week, Courtney left me wondering if she had taken a final turn for the positive in her relationship with Ben. I was anxious to see if she would be able to continue on her path of forthright behavior and leave the dark side behind her. It is clear that Ben has not ignored all of the attempts at Hindsight that the other girls have given him in describing the way that she acted when he was not present. Trying to sort fact from fiction can be an arduous task in any situation, much less one where so much is on the line including the emotional well-being of three women seeking requited love from the same man.

Courtney and Ben meet and immediately pick up where we had last left them (in Arizona, at a fake alter, at a fake wedding with HBO lawyers waiting intently with “Cease and Desist Letters” as a result of Courtney’s copyright infringed vows). After a mental mind game warm-up, the controversial couple sits down to a picnic (no way!) and immediately tackle the elephant in the room or in their specific case, the cow. Ben is determined to clear his mind of the residual doubt he is feeling about Courtney and serves first by stating that she should have made “it” easier on him during the process. Courtney returns the serve with a weak volley and Ben returns the volley with and explosive forehand: “It was one of my concerns for a while. I watched you and I noticed at certain times how you would twist the knife. I wished in those moments you would have made it easier on me.” Ben attacks the net to finish off the match but the conversation is halted as the couple decides to salvage what little of the lunch they can and continue the match another time but not before Courtney is able to get in one nice “Backhand.”

By my count, Ben was up 30-15 at the stoppage of play but unfortunately this small teaser showing Ben’s competitive fire and the fact that he hasn’t completely turned a blind eye to Courtney’s behavior probably will not be enough to satisfy the millions “witch” hunters out there still demanding a certain head on a platter.

Ben and Courtney’s evening date has them situated in a private wine cellar for dinner, drinks and a continuation of the earlier match. Courtney serves first and without waiting for the initial wine pour begins her last ditch effort seeking complete absolution for her sins of Bachelor Episodes past much like an Atheist on their death bed. Courtney admits to falling for Ben early on and waking up every day in the uncomfortable surroundings of a very competitive Sorority House brought out the very worst in her. Courtney goes on to explain that a lot of her behavior stemmed from the lack of trust she feels for all people borne out of a continuous series of bad relationships. It is apparent that the fear of losing Ben first motivated Courtney to plant a flag on her “property” many weeks earlier alienating the other girls and now, many weeks later she is back to admit to her wrongdoings that resulted from her botched strategy which could still cause her to lose Ben.

I guess the “note to self” here would be: be yourself the entire time and you would still be in first place with the only BIG difference being that your behind wouldn’t be on fire right now.

Many will see this “come to Jesus” moment simply as Courtney continuing her “game” whereas I see someone who might have not previously believed that she would find someone of substance and value on a reality show and thus was blindsided by Ben. Yes, her actions at times were mean spirited and disrespectful to herself and to others but with a sincere apology given I do believe all should be forgiven. The dinner and the match end with Courtney accepting an invitation to her second fantasy date of the season. Ben and Courtney appeared to have taken a huge step forward in their relationship by working through a tough time together. Sadly for them their troubles don’t seem to stay buried very long as our favorite Tennessean volunteers herself for hazardous duty.

A Wrench in the Machine

Having gone on three successful fantasy dates Ben appears to have a clear mind going into the rose ceremony until the self-described cloud of “hot mess” materializes at Ben’s door in search of the answers as to why she was let go. I applaud Ben for verbally treading lightly about Kacie’s family and their super traditional ways, which were a deal killer for both parties. As I said last week, there is nothing wrong with either style of life but some “Tribes” do not and will not ever mesh. Kacie’s feelings for Ben show how the “recipe” for love has to be just right or the whole dish comes out wrong. Nicki and Ben were super compatible but there was no “spark” on Ben’s side. Kacie and Ben are all sparks and would no doubt enjoy a whirlwind love affair but the lack of a true long term compatibility (friends, family, wants, needs) would see the relationship flameout in due time. Kacie is a smart girl and if she learns from this added dose of reality she will be that much better for it as she gets a little older and earns some additional life experience.

Kacie is going to leave Switzerland without her man but her flight home will be filled with a healthy dose of confidence and closure knowing that she did everything she could do and very simply she wasn’t a good fit for Ben and apparently neither is Courtney? What? Ouch! Bad news never has good timing and good news always waits till noon. You really have to empathize with Ben here as he just conquered his doubts about Courtney only to have them resurrected by Kacie’s warning of severe mental and emotional torment if he went ahead and made her his choice. Kacie’s sincerity about her dealings and experience with Courtney seemed to give Ben pause and it is obvious that he respects Kacie’s opinion as he is left stunned as she makes her final exit from his life.

Ben freshly blindsided by a Mack truck from Clarksville is forced yet again to decide between his instincts or the generous amount of warnings given to him by other women that he previously cared about as he enters the rose ceremony. It was no surprise that Lindzi received the first rose maybe as a ploy to add general tension to the ceremony or perhaps it was a way for Ben to teach a small lesson to Courtney as to who was really in charge of this process. Finally after what seemed an eternity + life x infinity, Ben goes with his gut and presents Courtney with the last rose. In an awkward embrace that leaves Courtney on the sidelines, Lindzi and Nicki say their goodbyes then Nicki makes her last exit. I give credit to Nicki who departed with grace and her head held high knowing that she risked everything all for a chance at love. She has nothing to be ashamed of and this experience was a victory for her life.

I am truly looking forward to next week’s episode as all of the girls have had ample time to decompress, sort out their feelings, organize their opinions and sharpen their Talons.


  1. Good job. That about sums it up. Its almost over for the viewers but not for Ben and Courtney. Who knows maybe it is almost over for them. I really don’t know them as Ben would say but I am a pretty good judge of character and as an outsider looking in say Courtney is going to chew him up and spit him out. She does appear to be in it to win it and once the thrill of victory is over and he is sick of kissing her ass it will be kaput…can he call Lindzi after Courtney dumps him? Can they go to the movies and to dinner maybe have a drink or two at the local bar? Jet setting around the world is so exciting but would these people really be falling in love WITHOUT all the dramatics? I met my true love at a party…lol…he had kissed me within 20 minutes and we have been together for 6 years. He watched that switzerland show with me. He said do you want to go there and I said yes. He said are you crazy? Do you know how much money that would cost? Couldnt do that unless you were Donald Trump or ABC….but he did say he would drive me to the top of harris grade and we could look at the stars and have a view of tranquillian peek…lol…how romantic!

    Comment by Elizabeth — March 1, 2012 @ 12:59 pm

  2. I vote yours the most enjoyable blog. You’re mostly spot on this week. I love the comparison of Courtney’s apology to an atheist on his deathbed and your description of Ben as the “Grim Reaper of Romance”. So true.

    It’s decent of you to try to see the best in Courtney. I still think someone who acted like she did can’t possibly be a nice person no matter how much she apologizes.

    Comment by Phoebe — March 1, 2012 @ 1:08 pm

  3. “I didn’t know if Ben had secretly joined the Nation of Islam or if he was merely in the process of solving a very intense math equation”.

    Best line in ANY of your blogs. Hahahaaaaa… hilarious!

    Comment by Lucy — March 1, 2012 @ 1:12 pm

  4. Were you an english major? Most well written blog ever…

    Comment by Alice — March 1, 2012 @ 1:32 pm

  5. Constantine, love your blog but wish you were true to your original opinions of Courtney. They were spot on. Now, not so much. I know you are being described as Ben’s best friend when those previous extremely negative opinions are repeated elsewhere and perhaps you are now trying to make amends since it is clear she is the “winner”, but remember she does not forgive and forget!! You will likely be the recipient of that expression she likes to use that includes the word “tailpipe”. What you have said is far worse than anything Emily said despite your recent mea culpa so be ready!!! I wish too, that Courtney had not tried to reinvent herself so late in the season. She was my reason for watching. The rest was actually quite boring. Her actions and her facial and verbal expressions were priceless. She was being who she is. Now she is pretending to be someone else and it is just not believable. The other women seemed like decent people yes, but I wish several of them had made the decision to leave, like you did when you did not see a future with Ashley. Ben does not come across as a great catch and there are several examples of him not treating the other ladies with respect so it is too bad they just didn’t give him the big heave ho. I guess we will see if C continues her attempt at redemption at the WTA on Monday night. I hope not. I want to see the real Courtney Robertson.

    Comment by Katherine — March 1, 2012 @ 3:29 pm

  6. very talented writer. i hope you find a way to keep writing. might just be your calling :)

    Comment by nope — March 1, 2012 @ 4:19 pm

  7. Articulation butterfacation. Well done.

    Comment by Bravo — March 1, 2012 @ 4:39 pm

  8. You’re hands-down the best writer here. You had me when you spelled “rappelling” correctly, but then for bonus points you subtly wrote, “our favorite Tennessean volunteers herself for hazardous duty.” As someone from the Volunteer State, my hat is off.

    Comment by Rita-la — March 1, 2012 @ 6:23 pm

  9. You clearly have a talent for writing and take your readers on an enjoyable ride as you paint your canvas with words. Bravo Constantine! Enjoy your blog very much. Sitting down for dinner in a helicopter, and also the elephant cow…very cute and witty to boot.

    Comment by Sug — March 1, 2012 @ 7:36 pm

  10. While I enjoyed your blog and do agree that you are a great write, I don’t agree with your assessment/statements regarding Courtney….

    You said: “I guess the “note to self” here would be: be yourself the entire time and you would still be in first place with the only BIG difference being that your behind wouldn’t be on fire right now”
    My question is why is the assumption that she wasn’t being herself the WHOLE ENTIRE TIME she was there. Do you seriously think she was pretending to be snide, trite, conceited, rude and just plain mean during the time she was around the other women. Isn’t it possible that she was actually being herself (not a nice girl in disguise)??? Because most truly “nice” girls would not be able to pull off the witchy antics that Courtney REPEATEDLY displayed. The only reason she appears normal and nice during this episode is because there are no girls for her to be vicious towards. Did you not notice that?

    “Yes, her actions at times were mean spirited and disrespectful to herself and to others but with a sincere apology given I do believe all should be forgiven.”
    I’m just curious about your definition of “sincere.” All I heard from Courtney’s mouth is “I’m sorry if my actions made things harder for you (Ben).” She didn’t actually apologize for the vicious words that she said…and in a way continued to place blame on the situation (I had my guard up….) She was definitely more concerned about the fact that she may have ruined HER chances of winning not concern for the feelings of others. (And in regards to her half-a** apology….should the girls bend over…and you know the rest)

    It’s easy to have regrets when you think it has affected YOU….and that has been her main concern throughout this entire season. Ben has obviously only had eyes for Courtney from the beginning so I actually hope they end up together. Perhaps it will work out, but Courtney’s behavior cannot be explained away…it was truly atrocious.

    Comment by aly — March 2, 2012 @ 1:33 am

  11. Shoud be a very interesting “Women tell all” episode.
    As much as Ben kept saying throughout the season how much a family man he was, and how imporant family is to him, and on Ashley’s show he stated it was very imporant what his Mom and sister thought about his choice, what the heck do they think of Courtney and how she showed herself on the show? I don’t think she would be every Moms dream daughter-in-law. I don’t think that there will be a wedding. If Ben does choose to marry her then there must be a side of Courtney NONE of the viewers got a chance to see, including me. I always try to give people the benifit of the doubt, but if it quacks like a duck and looks like a duck it IS a duck, in this case, if she comes across mean and acted like mean girl ,she is probably mean. Ive liked Ben since last season and I really hope the best for him.

    Comment by Julie B — March 2, 2012 @ 4:56 am

  12. Constantine… must agree ~ this is one of the best blogs you’ve written. However, I don’t believe that your good buddy has made the right choice. Agree with other commenters that even in trying to apologize Ms. C screws it up. It is always all about HER… It was difficult for her, I don’t want to lose, I had a guard up… Seems to me Ms. C was in the same house, and the same boat, as 25 other women. I would also not discount the fact that your buddy is a successful businessman, who can keep her in the style to which she has become accustomed. Be a good friend and privately warn him how you really feel ~ you won’t lose your friendship… it may cool for a while, but in the end Ben will be grateful. Peace.

    Comment by Floridian — March 2, 2012 @ 10:20 am

  13. I think that Courtney has made really bad decisions pretty much this whole time, but underneath it all she’s still human (thus the bad decisions). She probably does feel bad that she let this situation bring out the worst in her, and maybe her acknowledgments and apologies recently have been honest. So maybe she did learn something from all this that she can take with her through life—but I don’t think she deserves to end up with Ben. To use a cliche (which is the vernacular Courtney seems to speak in): it’s too little, too late. She should take the lessons she’s learned and uses them in her next try, and Ben, pick Lindzi.

    (If Ben did pick Courtney, after watching the episodes, somehow I doubt they’re still together…and how awkward would THAT final episode be?!)

    Comment by Amy — March 2, 2012 @ 10:37 am

  14. There will be major friction with Courtney and the other two most important women in Ben’s life – his mom & sister. Courtney is too needy and won’t tolerate the competition (as she will see it). She would cut her own mom off at the knees if it meant winning.

    Comment by kathy-n-zona — March 2, 2012 @ 11:49 am

  15. Honesty/trust is foundation for a successful relationship. Courtney can make whatever excuses she likes for being nasty and mean to the girls but, what I find so wrong was her lying over and over again to Ben when he asked her about her issues with the girls. It shows a total disrespect to Ben and that’s very sad and there’s no excuse for that.

    Comment by Yinye — March 2, 2012 @ 1:47 pm

  16. “atheist on their deathbed” …a real atheist believes in no afterlife to be afraid of, so that metaphor didn’t quite work for me. other than that, congratulations! you have my insignificant approval for your post.

    Comment by Angela — March 2, 2012 @ 2:12 pm

  17. Completely agree with your assessment on Courtney – I am loving her and Ben!

    Comment by Jennifer — March 2, 2012 @ 5:30 pm

  18. Don’t understand why Ccourtney can’t talk without moving her hair out of her face…..that’s assign of insincerity for sure……she interrupts him also. She does not listen…..she is such a phony… is so apparent

    Comment by Grandma'a — March 2, 2012 @ 7:16 pm

  19. Hi Constantine,

    Another great blog. Sure hope you plan to write each season. Courtney might feel bad now because she sees how she is hurting Ben. However, her comments continue to raise red flags. When she said “this is the best thing that ever happened to her” it sounded like she was referring to a place or a thing and not a person. She could have or should have said that her relationship with Ben was the best thing that ever happened to her but she did not. Sure hope she is not in it to win it. Still hoping Ben chose Lindzi.

    Comment by Jessica C — March 2, 2012 @ 9:15 pm

  20. Dude, you’re a really good writer.

    Comment by Jolene — March 3, 2012 @ 11:51 am

  21. Constantine thank you for using youR writing skills to present such a picturesque and personal view. Upon further research my take — as Ben explores other USA arenas without a NO TRESPASSING sign – I will now and forever say this CR CONNECTION is NOT LOVE — THIS IS LUST. But now that her plan has backfired —Whuuu whoo everybody..CR IS CRYING VICTIM—SOUND FAMILIAR? WHAT GOES AROUND COMES I have said so many times before – Are you getting this?

    Comment by Cynthia Baker — March 3, 2012 @ 4:33 pm

  22. Constantine, in addition the average student responds best to hands-on application – in relationships, where there is NO sign – chemistry is like an OPEN door (Ben and CR) Considering, the average person does not like to read – signs are obsolete, and even the overt verbal gestures are heard with DEAF ears. No, we are not blind in love/lust we are deaf; leaving us with an immediate flaw in communication — the lights are on but nobody’s home.How many times have we seen that?

    Comment by Cynthia Baker — March 3, 2012 @ 5:34 pm

  23. News Flash there Jessica C Ben Did Pick The Wench and now they both are up the creek with out a paddle as now every one knows just what Ben was up to not to find a real wife he just wanted to sell his wine and what better person to help with that but with a model and now it is all falling down on both .. they got what they deserved and that is not much .. just shocked that they let this happen on the show …. people like them make it hard for people who are really wanting the good life of love and happiness ..

    Comment by Sara — March 3, 2012 @ 11:25 pm

  24. I do agree I don’t know how Ben does it, I am guessing at this point he just wants to run for the hills, or perhaps I should say the vineyards. Watching these women makes me feel ashamed to be female (and to admit that I watch the show)…and I am not referring to Courtney, in fact…I really like Courtney because she does not say very annoying cliche things…and honestly, I kind of like seeing her make jabs at those annoying phony sorority girls.. I think understandably, Courtney is on the defense and is misunderstood, and the tabloids and comments about Courtney are a shame. She is a human being after all, and its not like she is running a child slave labor organization…she is just a person on a nonsense show really.

    Comment by San — March 5, 2012 @ 8:21 pm

  25. I agree -those were some of the worst behaved women i have ever seen-It was an embarassment to woman. I wouldn’t date any of those cackling – just one crazier then the next- who pile on and were self satisfied that they got a piece of Courtney – yet Ben is considered gets off as one of the great men of the last century. Get a grip- Ben made out with all of you and then dumped you 1 at a time and you sang his praises as he broke your heart-while somehow Courtney who was just competing on a competition show and threw out some zingers is treated like some evil shrew- –
    You have it backwards ladies!!!! You were the large fanged wolfpack and found some red meat in Courtney and her having to endure all the crazy stuff written about her because she was a little distant and mean to some adult women.
    Chris Harrison should be taken to task for throwing Courtney under the bus so many times the tires probably have no treads left. What a manipulative, mean spirited sleazoid(that’s a 10 on the sleaze scale). Of course he does it will a smile while he continually calls Courtney the women the world loves to hate and them handed over to the all girl lynch mob- Really despicable stuff.

    Comment by ed — March 6, 2012 @ 2:49 pm

  26. Inside scoop Courtney is not picked at the final ceromony. Lindzi is chossen and she is currently a few months pregrant so baby is already on the way, thats why she did not appear on the ladies tell all.
    Believe it or not youl just have to see next week and followed by update after the show special.
    Info is from realiable source but will not reveal from where.

    Comment by joe — March 6, 2012 @ 5:35 pm

  27. I noticed Ames is having a caption contest with one of the pics he posted on his twitter account. Hope u don’t mind my using ur space to mention it. Just figured you bachelor nation bloggers could come up the best ones because you guys have met him and your funny. Some of your followers can be pretty clever as well. thanks.

    Comment by Shelagh — March 7, 2012 @ 4:40 am

  28. Ben Flajnik Cream Dream

    Comment by andy — March 7, 2012 @ 7:37 pm

  29. Just reading this now……so witty, Constantine! Do you really write this? I wish you were the next bachelor.
    But after calling Courtney the most manipulative person ever on this show (in a previous blog), you’re a little too quick to revise your opinion. Face it…she’s a nightmare. Poor Ben….made a fool of for the second time on national tv……but he did it to himself this time……

    Comment by Cookie — March 9, 2012 @ 4:35 pm

  30. Great writing and insight. Someone mention Courtney doesn’t forgive and forget, isn’t that like the biggest red flag for Ben? I sure think it speaks to how she handles disagreements down the road.

    Comment by Debd — March 11, 2012 @ 6:06 am

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