Craig’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 2

Craig R’s Blog: The Difference Between Girls and Women

 

A good portion of my life has been dedicated to trying to understand the female psyche.  After twenty-eight years on planet earth, I feel that I have made very little progress with this challenging task.  I can promise you that after reading this blog, you will not gain any further understanding of how the female psyche operates, but I hope that you are at least entertained by my failed analysis.  As I see it, females fall into two categories: girls and women.

At the end of Monday’s episode, I felt more confused than Jenna appeared throughout much of her time on The Bachelor.  So, I called my personal female guru and girlfriend, Jackie.  I asked Jackie if she considered herself a girl or a woman (I have a feeling she’s beginning to think I’m a little crazy, but I have hope that she’s adjusting to me).  Thankfully, she responded by saying that at 28 years old (29 in a few weeks so don’t forget to wish her a happy birthday), she still considers herself a girl.

Monday night, I noticed that Ben has a habit of commonly referring to his bachelorettes as “women.”  I kept thinking that this reference didn’t sound right.  Most of Ben’s bachelorettes are still in their 20s and early 30s, and hardly act like women.  Let’s face it:  hiding in a public restroom, the luggage room, and under the covers during a cocktail party are not demonstrative of womanly characteristics.

With that said, the difference between girls and women has little to do with maturity.  A girl can be very mature.  A woman can be extremely immature.  So, what is the difference between girls and women?  I have no idea, but my goal is to come to a conclusion by the end of this blog.

If Ben wants a “woman,” then he may be in the wrong place.  All of the bachelorettes this season, as in most seasons, are girls.  Many are intelligent, professional, mature, and wise beyond their years.  However, at the ripe ages of late 20s/early 30s, many haven’t yet advanced to the stage of a woman.  And why should they?

Thanks for allowing me to confuse you.  Now, here is what I thought of the episode.

Date with Kacie B

Kacie B. is a FWP (future wife potential if you’re a virgin to my blog), even if it took me 2 weeks to realize it.  Her date with Ben, however, seemed to be less natural than it was portrayed.   Don’t get me wrong, Kacie is a girl that most guys dream of ending up with.  However, one thing is clear from this episode:  Ben did not become the Bachelor to find a FWP.  By the end of this season, he will have the Guinness World Record for most make-outs on a reality show.  And I don’t criticize him one bit for it.  The man obviously knows what he wants.

Ben has grown on me as the Bachelor.  The home videos were touching, albeit maybe a little too soon for a first date.  Losing a parent is my worst nightmare.  I come from a tight knit family and the thought of losing someone beloved to me is easily my biggest life fear.  With that said, no first date should be this dramatic, even in Bachelorville.

Group Date

While it’s cool that these girls are traveling immediately, they are definitely missing out on a huge part of the experience by not living in the mansion.  Some of my best memories took place there.  From going on a mouse hunt to find the rodent we lovingly named “Brenda” (R.I.P.), to watching my inebriated friends brand themselves with a grill fork in the name of “bachelor brotherhood,” I am so glad that I had the opportunity to live there.

I thought the idea for this group date was brilliant.  The date put the girls on the spot and I felt like they all handled the pressure well.  One of my favorite lines was Blakeley in her interview before the date saying, “I definitely wanna make sure Ben like, sees me.”  Blakeley – I am positive that he saw you.  Your cleavage was unavoidable.  I would bet that sales of 3D T.V.’s were record breaking on Tuesday.  You deserve royalties.  There is no chance that Ben can choose you in good faith to be his fiancé after wearing that outfit on your first date.  You also made me create a new fashion rule: no girl or woman should wear earrings that extend below the shoulders.

A few side notes from the date:

  • Nicki, the sprinkler dance is not sexy
  • I loved Ben’s conversation with Jennifer:

Jennifer:  “I had an amazing time today”

Ben:  “I had an amazing time too. You looked good in a weasel costume.”

Jennifer:  “I’m glad to be here”

Ben:  “I’m glad you’re here.”

[They make out.]

  • Blakeley – real or fake?

Date with Courtney

This may invite some criticism, but Courtney is showing that she’s more interested in “WINNING” the competition than Ben.  As a contestant on this type of show, competitive people have a tendency to feel like they want to win the show rather than find love on the show.  Courtney is obviously competitive. Ben should realize that while Courtney is hot, she’s lacking FWP and full of BS.  To say that she doesn’t get asked out on dates often should be a red flag.

Other red flag lines include:

  • “We just have this thing, it’s just there”
  • Ben:  “Can you do the small lifestyle?”

Courtney:  “That’s what I’m hoping for.”  (Wait, why modeling then?)

  • “I meet a lot of people and I rarely meet someone that…it’s really a magical day.”
  • “I’ve dated an actor, a photographer, found underwear in the bed.”

The cocktail party was insane.  If I were President, my first law would include jail time for any girl or woman found guilty of imitating a baby voice (Samantha, this applies to you).  Jenna gave another stellar performance and showed us why she should never have agreed to come on a reality show.  I loved it when she told Ben that there was a constant battle in her head and that she doesn’t know how to move forward with the kinds of battles going on in her head. I was actually concerned that she may go crazy and commit a spree of violent crimes after Ben dumped her.

Final Thoughts

Now that the readers of this blog have no better idea of the difference between girls and women, let me give you my final thoughts.

In law school, we studied a United States Supreme Court case, Jacobellis v. Ohio (1964).  In the Court’s analysis of the definition of hard-core pornography, Justice Potter Stewart proclaimed, “I know it when I see it.”  Justice Stewart was later criticized for the lack of concreteness in his opinion.  I can only assume that this blog may end up with a similar fate.

The best explanation I can provide for the difference between girls and women is simply:  “I know it when I see it.”