Craig’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 3

The It and the Cloud

Some people just have “It.”  Some people have an intangible quality that is inexplicably attractive and makes you want to spend as much time with that person as possible.  The “It” factor is never easy to describe.  The people that have “It” know every proper step to take in even the most awkward and unusual situations.  You can always rely on them to say and do the right thing at the appropriate time.

If you are lucky enough to have one these people in your life, you NEVER take them for granted.

Then there are some people that have the opposite of “It.”  We all know this person.  They are the bad luck charm from the minute they enter the room.  I call this type of person “The Cloud.”

The “Cloud” and the “It” are the two extremes of human existence.  Most of us fall somewhere in between “It” and “Cloud.”

In life, there are certain unwritten rules.  We either choose to follow them, disregard them, or be ignorant of them.  Nobody has ever seen a written test in school asking the following question:

Using the image below, if urinals 1 and 3 are occupied, which urinal is the socially acceptable urinal to select:

Even some “Clouds” know that the correct response is urinal 5.  This is known as the “urinal buffer.”  When possible, one should always leave a space between urinals.  This is simply a matter of social intelligence.

On a scale of 1-10 (1 being least challenging) on the social “It” scale, the above example is a 1. A level 5 example includes knowing when to leave a room or a conversation.  There is nothing more frustrating than a lingerer, except for maybe a lurker.

Those that can master the level 10 challenges of the “It” scale are few and far between.  The “Its” are as rare as a man whose claim to fame is being a “good listener,” or a girl who knows how to operate a car.  Let me be clear – I do know a few successful female drivers, emphasis on the word few.

On this week’s episode of The Bachelor, some of the girls continued to exhibit the “It” factor, and some showed their true “Cloud” colors.

Date With Emily

Emily is showing the other girls what “It” factor is all about.  The girl has swag.  Courtney says book smarts are boring but what she doesn’t know is that the epidemiology books and “It” knowledge acquisitions have boosted Emily’s stock.  I love that she conquered her fear of heights and tackled the Golden Gate like it was an oversized Turkish Olive Oil wrestler.  She’s a beautiful girl inside and out.  The conversation at dinner was natural and she said all of the right things.  The only reason for any of these girls to hate on her is her superiority to the common girl.  The Emily haters are looking pretty cloudy.

Favorite line from the date was Ben saying, “I did the only thing I could think of, I gave her a kiss.”  This line represents much of the season so far.

Group Date

The creativity on this date was solid.  Props to the girls for rolling with the punches.  They all moved up on the “It” scale that day.  Kacie B. was a champ.  Skiing is a challenging sport, and to tackle the hills of San Fran for her first time on skis was impressive.

Props to Brittney for stepping away when it didn’t feel right.  Anyone who has watched this show knows that there is extensive traveling and special treatment throughout the process.   For her to step down and pass up her chance at more of the experience at the time she did shows that she is more “It” than “Cloud.”

Date With Lindzi

Lindzi has the “It” factor.  The date went smoothly and Lindzi grows on me every episode.  I was a bit alarmed when she talked about her ex-boyfriend.  To date for a year and a half and then end with a harsh text message tells me that there may be something more to that story.

Shawntel and the “It” Scale

Some of the “It” scale examples that I mentioned above involve situations that people are placed in on a daily basis.  No matter how old we get, there are always certain first-time situations that arise.  Risk-takers know that you only live once, and that life is unfulfilling when you are left wondering “what if?”  Even more than risk-takers, I love a person who can take a risk, fail, and then try again.  Going on The Bachelor is a risk.  Like it or not, we all know that there is a camera recording our every move while filming the show, and that millions of people will be critically watching our every move when the show debuts.

No bachelor contestant in the history of this show has escaped criticism and scrutiny.  I still get it to this day.  Being a part of the Bachelor family has taught me many lessons about psychological resiliency, and I am not only talking about my own personal experiences.  In addition to my own experience, I have watched my friends go through tough times at the mercy of the media and “fans.”  I respect and admire Shawntel for taking the chance that she did, and I admire her even more for keeping her head up after that risk backfired.

I knew what would happen to Shawntel after hearing that she was going to return in the middle of a cocktail party and walk into a group of random girls to try and win Ben over.  Shawntel had to have known that there was a probable chance that the girls would not welcome her with open arms, and that Ben would have to make the decision he made and leave her rose-less.  She took a giant risk, and kudos to her for her effort.

On the flip side of the coin, I can’t fault the girls for being upset that they suddenly had more competition than they originally thought.  Not only did the competition increase, but Shawntel had the advantage of speaking to Ben before the show.  The drama that ensued after Shawntel’s entrance was to be expected, but maybe not on such an extreme level.  The girls were harsh on Shawntel, and the combination of crying and passing out seemed surreal.

All in all, I believe that Ben made the right choice in letting Shawntel go.  He would have lost his “It” scale credibility had he kept her.

Final Thoughts

There are no disclaimers before the Bachelor or Bachelorette show airs that states, “The contestants you will see on the following show are pure examples of perfection.  They are flawless, immaculate, charming, and you will no doubt fall in love with every single one of them.”  We are all human.  I understand the desire and the entertainment value of picking apart the flaws of the contestants.  And rightfully so, because each one of them has exposed their physical appearance, personalities, and flaws for the viewers to see under a microscope.

Some of the contestants that appear on the Bachelorette may not even know that one should always choose urinal number 5.  The contestants are just like you, the viewers.  Some are “Clouds.”  Some are “Its.”  Even the “Its” are criticized.  We choose to love the “Clouds” just as much as the “Its” sometimes because, at the end of the day, they are a part of our lives whether we like it or not.  All I can ask of the Bachelor viewers is that you give the “Clouds” some love from time to time.  After all, not all of us can conquer “It.”

12 Comments »

  1. Great blog. Very intuitive….love the concept of “it” factors

    Comment by Brianaarie — January 19, 2012 @ 2:16 pm

  2. Nice analysis

    Comment by MTN — January 19, 2012 @ 2:17 pm

  3. WOW! Craig, you have shown your “It”. In a sea of justly earned criticism regarding girls behavior after this weeks episode, your blog provides some much needed tolerance/balance. I admittedly fell into the “cloud” ridiculing these girls, but you have made me stop and channel an inner “it” an be a bit more tolerant an objective. Thanks for the perspective!!

    Comment by Deb — January 19, 2012 @ 2:25 pm

  4. That was incredibly deep… but very well put.

    Comment by Nadine — January 19, 2012 @ 2:43 pm

  5. Craig, you get an A+ for this blog. Your explanation of “It” and “Cloud” was awesome. I also like that you said this: “I can’t fault the girls for being upset that they suddenly had more competition than they originally thought.” All of the other blogs I’ve read so far are completely condemning all of the ladies, instead of seeing things from their point of view. Some of them did make a good point in asking why Shawntel gets the chance to come on the show out of nowhere. There may very well be other women who have talked to Ben outside of the show setting who felt a connection with him. Why was she given the opportunity, and not anyone else? While it’s true that some of the girls made poor choices in their words that night, I can absolutely see where they are coming from.

    Comment by Deanna — January 19, 2012 @ 2:51 pm

  6. I agree that going on the show is taking a risk, but it is a risk that is well worth it. I’m glad Shawntel was given the opportunity to express her true feelings. I hope she finds happiness.

    Comment by emy — January 19, 2012 @ 5:56 pm

  7. This is your inner “It” coming out for sure. Thanks for such a great, intelligent, compassionate and balanced blog. Something we’ve been sorely missing lately. Don’t get me wrong, when someone is cruel, they should be called out for it, but it doesn’t mean we have to stoop to their level to do it.

    Comment by Leslie — January 19, 2012 @ 9:15 pm

  8. Ben is a boring buffoon, so this season sucks.

    Comment by Meeps — January 19, 2012 @ 10:48 pm

  9. This season is a success and only Meeps is a boring buffon, he/she is a super “cloud”.

    Comment by Lis — January 20, 2012 @ 10:21 am

  10. Interesting take on it Craig, good blog! One minor boo boo tho, they climbed the Bay Bridge. Not Golden Gate. Other than that, impressive and thought provoking stuff !

    Comment by MK — January 21, 2012 @ 1:44 am

  11. I can drive !!!!!!!!!!!!

    Comment by deb tumillo — January 22, 2012 @ 3:44 pm

  12. Dude!…..beyond GREat analysis!….the “IT,” ..the “Cloud”…..the “URinal!”……BRAVO , COunselor!……Bravo!……xoxox Pam…

    Comment by Pamela B... — January 26, 2012 @ 6:57 am

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