Craig’s Bachelorette Blog: Episode 1

Is The Biological Clock Really Ticking?

 

Until Monday night, I hadn’t given any real thought to the idea of the biological clock.  Most men don’t concern themselves with such a thought.  I recently turned 29, and for most of my life, my mentality has been that I have plenty of time to get to the point where I have a “minivan full of babies.”  Emily’s mentioning of her biological clock certainly tickled a brain nerve.

So, I did some research. An Indian farmer, Ramajit Raghav, recently became the world’s oldest father at 94 years old.  His wife, Shakuntala, gave birth to their baby at a youthful 59 years old.   I want to take a second to congratulate Ramajit and Shakuntala. They truly have defied the idea of the biological clock and alleviated my new concern.

Wanna know Ramajit’s secret?  A very simple daily formula:  Three litres of milk, half a kilo of almonds, and half a kilo of clarified butter (I’m guessing he doesn’t smear it on bread).  We have all been fooled into thinking that aerobics and vegetables are the secret to strong fertility.  At 26 years old, Emily has plenty of time to follow in Shakuntala’s footsteps.

This week’s episode brought back the memory of a stressful and anxiety-filled night 1.  I remember telling myself during that first night to just be yourself and not try too hard.  Some of the guys played it safe and some went out of their way to prematurely kill any chance of ending up with Emily from the minute they exited the limo.

Bringing a prop is a risk, especially when the prop is a giant egg or a boom box.  The contestants have weeks (at least) to prepare for the night 1 intro and to think that the best idea one could come up with is to bring an egg or dress up like an old lady is mind-boggling.

Painful Night 1 Memories

One of the more painful limo exits was Travis and his egg.  It always surprises me when a contestant tries to fast-forward to a “minivan full of babies” during the meet and greet.  I remember hearing my buddy Kasey already proclaiming that he would “guard and protect” Ali’s heart and thinking, WTF!  You just met her.  You have to wonder how Travis has already decided that he will take care of Ricki unconditionally before even meeting Emily.

Kalon really likes lip gloss.

Jackson’s line regarding breathtaking moments was shocking in a bad way.  If you’re gonna get down on 1 knee during night one, you better have something funny, not cheesy to say.  If not, stay on your feet.

Joe, are you excited?  I couldn’t tell.

Stevie, did your legs just seizure?  New rule from night 1:  Unless you can duplicate Roberto’s salsa dancing, do not dance.

Alessandro (The Brazilian Jack Black) should have shaved.

Jean-Paul – don’t play it cool by acting like you know nothing about Emily.  There’s no way you took the time to go through the lengthy, time-consuming casting process but failed to put Emily’s name into a google search.

Night 1 Winners

Jef took a risk by riding in on a skateboard and adding a foot to his height in the form of hair. It worked.  Ryan killed it with his handmade sign to Emily.  Even though I was telling Doug through the screen to stop talking about being a single-father, Emily loved it and it won him the first impression rose.  I hope you called your son the next day to thank him.

The first episode was short but entertaining.  Entering into a relationship with a single mother who has such a tragic story takes a lot of courage, and I commend these guys for having the confidence to step into that role.  I can only imagine how challenging (and rewarding) it is to be a good parent.

Ramajit said it best when asked if he was worried about his child’s future:  “Nothing will happen to my child as I will die only if a black snake bites me and that is very far.”  Which contestants will stay strong with a diet of dairy and almonds, and who will fall victim to the venomous bite of a black snake?  Only time will tell.

 

 

 

                 

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