Dana Weiss’ Fashion Blog: Episode 4
I feel about the Bachelor fashion this season the way some of you feel about my blog.
It’s a little boring.
(Thanks for that. The only thing more insecure than someone looking for love on reality tv? A nobody blogger writing about it. My therapist thanks you, too, by the way.)
But enough about my neuroses. Onto the Bachelor, where all you need is a personality disorder and a cocktail dress!
And since I’d rather stab my eyes out with Britt Billmeier’s lucite shoes (Brad’s season) than try out fly fishing, let’s fast forward right onto the cocktail party. Because besides shopping and judging people, cocktails are my favorite things in the world.
Now, I’m no sociologist so this theory is mostly anecdotal, but I am pretty sure that the worst dressed people on this show just might be the best ones. Need proof? Here it is.
Jamie -or as some people refer to her, “who” – is consistently the worst dressed at the rose ceremonies. Each week she channels the worst of Tonya Harding (or at least Pia Toscano during her American Idol days) with slutty, sequin prom dresses that just scream, “Cast me on Teen Mom!” With their odd cutouts and never ending corset closures, Jamie’s dress collection is sadder than her back story.
But she also happens to be one of the nicest, best behaved and all around most likeable women on the show.
Is it possible that what’s on the inside actually matters?
Um, this is the Bachelor. Of course not!
Moving forward with my theory, we get to Monica. I’m pretty sure Monica got out of the limo after her final interview and hopped a plane back to Ohio to compete against the Candy Apples in this week’s Dance Moms. (p.s. Abby Lee Miller, I love you. Call me.)
The only thing worse than Monica’s dress was its fit. All night I was waiting for Monica to have a wardrobe malfunction. But even the threat of a nip slip wasn’t enough to distract me from the real fashion fail: she paired the dress with flats. There’s a big range, ladies, between ballet flats and 6 inch heels. Use it to your advantage.
Even in that crazy get up, Monica still seemed the most grounded of Ben’s remaining ladies.
So goodbye Monica. And goodbye to your bolero.
And also, goodbye 1999.
Onto the good.
In the world of fashion, there are two kinds of women. Women who dress for men. And women who dress for other women. Casey S. is someone who dresses for other women. I personally loved this week’s dusty pink chiffon dress. I love floaty, ethereal dresses, and blush is a beautiful color right now.
My husband thought it was the worst thing he’s seen since, well, Monica’s dress.
(Also, I may end up sleeping on the couch, having just revealed that my husband also watches the Bachelor. Oh well, something to talk about in therapy this week.)
My other favorite dress was Emily O’Brien’s one shoulder, metallic dress by Maggy London. In addition to a perfect fit, and unique texture, the best part of the dress was the way it emphasized Emily’s best asset:
The chip on her shoulder.