DANA WEISS’ BACHELOR FASHION BLOG: EPISODE 1

myboots

THAT’S A PICTURE OF ME INTERVIEWING EMILY MAYNARD AND SOMEBODY THAT SHE USED TO KNOW

Every year around this time the folks from the Bachelor ask me to contribute a fashion-centric review of the Bachelor (or Bachelorette.)

And every year I’m asked the same question: Who the hell is Possessionista?

So let’s get this out of the way.

I’m nobody. I’m not affiliated with the show. I’ve never been on the Bachelor (or even auditioned.) I don’t work in TV production. I’m not a stylist. Or a journalist. I’m not really any kind of an “ist.” I’m just a longtime fan of the show.

So basically, I’m just like you.

Only bitchier.

Over the years, we’ve seen a lot of great Bachelor fashion. Jillian Harris, Emily Maynard, Michelle Money, and Casey Shteamer were all fashion standouts in Bachelor Nation. They each had their own sense of style and, at one point or another, each of us has asked, “where can I get that?”

And that’s why I’m here – because the Bachelor is all about finding love. And whether it’s Sean finding love in a hot tub with an aspiring actress who may or may not be here for the right reason, or about you finding love with an adorable lace tunic said actress wears on her one-on-one date with Sean – who am I to stand in the way of true love?

But I’m also here because some of these women are just a couple sequins short of an ice capades costume, and someone needs to stage an intervention. So whether it’s time to lay off the spray tanner (Kelly) or invest in a hairbrush (Kerrianne) I’m the one who’s going to set things straight.

Over the next nine weeks, I’m going to break down the best and worst of the Bachelor fashion. Some of you will love it. Some of you will hate it. And some of you will accuse me of being a fat, jealous nobody.

And you’ll be right.

But that’s okay. Because I’m not here to make friends.

 

The best: Being tasked to choose my favorite dresses from the first Rose Ceremony was only slightly less stressful than Sean Lowe’s task to narrow the field from 26 to 1. This year’s first night dresses was one of the saddest groups of evening gowns I’ve seen since MTV introduced My Super Sweet 16.

After seeing some of these dresses, I felt a little like Jenna Burke in that I wanted to get blind drunk and cry in a bathroom.

Still it wasn’t a total wash, some of these ladies nailed their first looks – and scored a rose.

1296746538pre-3235888513809189966

 

Despite a super embarrassing tumble on the Bachelor mansion driveway, bachelorette Robyn Howard’s rosegold Badgley Mischka dress is one of my favorites. The color and fit were near perfection – even if she didn’t stick the landing.

1296747330pre--4464235554949849122

Someone else whose dress made a great first impression was Amanda in ABS by Allen Schwartz. The sophisticated colorblock dress proves that you don’t need to bedazzle it to be dazzling.

1296746971pre--1045677136615545662

 

It was love at first sight for me and single mom Dianna’s black and white skirt. The custom skirt by Natalie Malan was graphically interesting, and I love that she took a chance and wore two pieces.

desiree-300x200

 

Fun fact: contestant Desiree designed and made her gorgeous red lace dress herself. Viewers quipped that it reminded them of the green Jenny Packham dress Kate Middleton wore last year. I can’t think of a better compliment. If it doesn’t work out for Desiree with Sean, may I suggest: Project Runway?

1296746468pre-4127622170390112710

By far, the crowd favorite goes to Leslie M in Catherine Deane. The detailed shoulder and feminine silhouette was beautiful and the color stood out in a sea of black and red. It’s exactly the dress I would wear to play football.

The bad: It’s a good thing Sean Lowe is a much better person than me and wasn’t judging these women by what they were wearing – or did he? Some of the worst dresses of the night (and their respective wearers) were sent packing.

1296747353pre-3673772802802944146

 

I had such high hopes for Kelly, who looked a little like Rachel Zoe in her promo pictures. But that’s where the similarities end. Kelly’s white sequin gown looked like something she snagged from her cruise ship days, and the only thing that was “bananas” about the look was the color of her spray tan.

lacey-300x200

 

Lacey’s sequin gown is like one of those optical illusion pictures that, if you stare at it long enough, images start to appear. At first viewing I didn’t find Lacey’s iridescent dress all that offensive, but as the night went on, the dress morphed into one giant disco ball. As the old saying goes, Disco is dead. And so were Lacey’s dreams of being Sean Lowe’s future ex-girlfriend.

1296746327pre--1290398779593384238

 

Model Ashley H proves that just because you look great in clothes doesn’t mean you have great taste. Her aqua, jewel-embellished mermaid gown was better suited for a pageant or better yet – a suitcase with a one-way ticket back to Denver.

katie-300x200

I just cannot get on board with formal dresses with cutouts. Unless you’re going to a “dress as your favorite Real Housewive of Miami” party, I subscribe to the school of “cover your belly if the invitation says “formal.” I’m hoping spunky Katie sticks around long enough to redeem her first night blunder. And for the love of Chris Harrison, I hope she wears shoes. Has she not seen what happens on Bachelor Pad?

So that’s it: my picks for best and worst fashion this week on the Bachelor. Let me know in the comments if you agree or disagree. Who were your fashion favorites and who missed the mark? And last of all, don’t forget to tell me how much you hate me and how I’m awful and shallow.

Because it’s not the Bachelor if someone isn’t crying.

See you next week.

Want more Bachelor fashion? Follow Dana on twitter or check out her TV Fashion Blog