DANA WEISS’ BACHELOR FASHION BLOG: EPISODE 8

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Considering that I’ve never actually been on the Bachelor (except last night one of my tweets was, and that was awesome) I really try to focus on the fashion of the show. So I was surprised that they still expected me to write about the hometown dates, because, let’s be honest, it was like the clearance rack from Forever21.

No, seriously, half the clothes this week were from the sale rack at Forever21.

Let me back up. I have no problem with Forever21. Some of my best friends shop at Forever21. But after being away from home, living out of a suitcase, and now being back in civilization, that was the best these ladies could find in their closets?

Let’s start with AshLee who gets it right a whole lot more often than she gets it wrong. She killed it last week with that off-the-shoulder yellow rose ceremony dress, and even though I hated the whole Free People crochet flower dress from her first one-on-one with Sean, lots of people loved it. (Lots of people love McDonalds too. Doesn’t make it good. Just saying.) But this week, AshLee put her heart on the line.

And her taste out the window.

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Honestly, you guys, I had to rewind to make sure this was actually AshLee. The flannel tied at her waist like Mary Ann from Gilligan’s island. The nude ballet flats? AshLee couldn’t have tried less. This is the outfit I wear to drive my kids to preschool. (Okay, that’s a lie. I wear yoga pants. Yeah, glass houses. I know.) And before you tell me her outfit was cute and practical, just remember, AshLee’s twitter profile refers to herself as a “fashionista,” so I kinda expect her to bring it.

But this week, it wasn’t brought’n. Like, at all.

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Moving onto Catherine’s date, I had to ask myself, “What does one wear to catch dead fish?” Apparently in Seattle, a brightly colored sweater and edgy leather jacket. This was, by far Catherine’s best fashion week. (We’ll get to the rose ceremony in a mo’) Sadly, Cat was overshadowed by her sister in a really fun colorblock top from Urban Outfitters. Seriously. Where has that girl been all season?

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Lindsay’s date is the part where I knew that if Bachelor fashion is a battle of wills, then I’m losing the war. Lindsay wore a white blouse with lace insets and gold buttons. Let me repeat that for you: white blouse. I haven’t seen so many people so frantic to track down an item they saw on TV since Michelle Obama wore Jason Wu to the inauguration. Sorry, Lindsay, you’re no Michelle Obama. And that shirt is no Jason Wu. (It’s Forever21.)

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And then there was Des. A moment of silence for Des, with whom I agree. Sean made a huge mistake. Not kicking her brother’s ass. The date started out with my biggest nightmare: exercise. Later we got to see where Des lives (not a tent) and she wore an olive colored open-back top from Urban Outfitters. Presumably to make it easier for her brother to stab her in the back.

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And then there was the rose ceremony.

Des is a smart girl, so I loved her strategy: dress like an Oscar and plant a subliminal message in Sean’s head that picking her would make him a winner. Sadly, Sean isn’t looking for a trophy wife and he sent my favorite little statuette back to her shelf. Oh well. It was an honor just to be nominated. Cue music.

Lindsay definitely took a fashion risk with this mesh inset skater dress, reminiscent of Kacie B’s first night. I’m conflicted on this dress because on one hand, I don’t get it. The mesh is so slutty. The skirt is so girly. And yet…I kind of liked it. Whatevs, I know a lot of you (okay like 3 of you because no one reads this column; not even my mother) will hate it and say it’s skanky and cheap (it is) but I think it really fit Lindsay’s style – it’s playful and fun. And with enough alcohol, you just might get to see another side of it, too.

Catherine put her heart out there this rose ceremony. And when I say heart, I mean boobs. This was Catherine’s most interesting dress to date. Even though it lacked the wallpaper inspired prints that Catherine usually gravitates towards, this dress had a great silhouette and I loved the black on black striped detailing. Maybe she borrowed it from her sister?

And last but definitely least is AshLee who is. in. love. with. this. man. But I was not in. love. with. that. dress. AshLee’s rose ceremony fashion has been nearly unfaltering all season, so I’m giving her a pass, but you can see that love is clouding her judgment and presumably her mirror as well.

Next week the remaining three ladies go on romantic overnight dates where Sean reveals his Virgin Bachelor Us Weekly cover story and they all pray for my soul.

Just kidding. I’m a lost cause.

See you next week.

Wondering where you can buy the clothes you’ve seen on the Bachelor? Check out my blog Possessionista.com, and follow me on Twitter and Facebook because judging by how few people ever comment, I have no friends in real life.

 

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