Everyone knows that I’m the Bachelor’s #1 biggest fan. But last night’s Women Tell All left me with less closure and AshLee Frazier and Sean Lowe.

Now, I’m not saying that the Women Tell All told me not to worry about any of the other bloggers who recap each episode.

But clearly it did.

I think it’s fair to say that many of the women on the Women Tell All improved on this season’s fashion. With more Herve Leger bandage dresses than Victoria Grayson’s closet, I’m pretty sure Sean Lowe’s ex-girlfriends were as interested in impressing me as they were in impressing Sean. Maybe more so, because Sean seems to easily forget.

Whereas I never do.


One of my early fashion favorites was Amanda. With her “The Ring” inspired hair and vacant stare, Amanda was still easily one of the top three best dressed of her season. And last night she didn’t disappoint in her peach dress by L’Agence. What did disappoint is that we as viewers never got to hear Amanda’s explanation for her creepy behavior. Did anyone die three days after watching her video? If I say Bloody Mary 3 times will she appear in my Bathroom Mirror? Did the ladies need a Shaman to come to the house to cleanse it of her evil spirits? Or would a regular exterminator do the trick?


Speaking of people with unresolved issues, how was it possible that they glossed over Kacie B? After feeling like she was “punched in the face” and departing in her Body Glove wetsuit, fan fave Kacie Boguskie returned to little fanfare. I would have loved to hear if Kacie regretted coming back for Sean? Did she ever find love? And, most importantly, if she ever connected with Katie about the Keratin treatment.


Katie who, you ask? Remember Yoga Katie whose hair was the only thing crazy about her? Girlfriend Om’ed her way off the Bachelor in episode two. Last night she rocked a purple flare dress by Black Halo, which we barely got to see, let alone hear what really made her leave the show. Maybe there wasn’t enough time for yoga?


Sure, the Women Tell All was saturated with Herve Leger last night, but I still loved seeing Ashley P (Fifty Shades of Cray) in a gorgeous peacock blue dress. I suspect if Ash had kept her liquor and her libido in check on night one, we’d have been treated to some memorable drama and fashion. Also her impression of Tierra’s hypothermia was Emmy-worthy. (eek, is that a runner in her pantyhose? That would SO happen to me.)


Speaking of Tierra, emagahgerl, we need to talk. Tierra, the eyes are the window to the soul, not your cutout dress. Tierra said she had nothing to apologize for last night. But based on that dress alone, I think you should be very, very sorry.


Someone who fared muuuuuuch better was Daniella, who was consistently one of my least favorites (fashion-wise) during her season. I loved the simple white wrap dress and her sleek hair. She looked sophisticated and understated, and it was my favorite look from her all season.


Also, props to Dianna who wore…wait for it…Forever21. That takes balls. Which, incidentally, may be why Sean sent her home early.


I was super bummed by Robyn’s dress last night. Throughout her season on the Bachelor, Robyn was consistently one of my favorite rose ceremony gals, but last night’s dress was a yawn. It was like she went from Bad Girls to Golden Girls while on hiatus.


Remember how I said I never forget? Well I don’t, and so I am kinda disappointed in Leslie M’s choice for another red Herve Leger bandage dress. (She wore one here too) This may just be me, but if I’m spending $1000 on a dress that makes me look like a crimson mummy, it better not be so similar that some lame blogger in yoga pants is all, “you wore that 6 weeks ago.” Yeah, Leslie I expected more from you.


Thank GOD for Sarah Herron who wore a floral Donna Mizani dress. It was fun to see a little more of Sarah’s personality, and I think the dress fit that. Sarah quipped that she thinks she’s funny, and smart and great. And for the first time all season, we got to see the funny part. Sean’s a fool for letting her go, but I suspect Sarah’s not going to have a problem finding a date any time soon. And she has plenty of cute clothes to wear on them.


Someone had a Desintervention. No question that Des Hartsock’s WTA fashion was the work of a professional. Between her Alexander Wang corset dress and Cezua jewels, that was not the same tent-dwelling, Bebe-wearing Des from 6 weeks ago. Remember you heard it here first.


Last up was AshLee and I wasn’t sure if I should call my hairdresser or my therapist. I loved AshLee’s new ombre do and nobody wears a bandage dress like AshLee Frazier. Seriously. I’m pretty sure after seeing AshLee in that colorblock Herve Leger, all the Kardashians put theirs on ebay. But I’m going on record as saying I don’t believe that Sean told her the other girls meant nothing.

I could go on for pages about my own conspiracy theories on the subject, but I suspect that, like any woman who’s in love with a man who has two other girlfriends, she probably interpreted what he said as what she wanted to hear. I also believe that there is no way what went down in that fantasy suite was just “talking all night” based on her reaction.

When AshLee said that Sean acted like a frat boy all season bells went off. “That’s it!” I yelled at no one in particular. “AshLee was acting like a jilted sorority girl who’d spent the night in a frat house and the guy never called her again.” And then I realized that I was making this all about me and I unfriended my ex-boyfriend from college on Facebook.

And that, my friend, is what you call closure.

Next week the final two meet Sean’s family. Catherine and Lindsay each wear dresses provided by the show and Sean’s sister Shay wears another combination of hot pink and lime and I try to pretend it doesn’t bother me.

See you then.

Want to buy any of the dresses seen on the Women Tell All? Check out my blog Possessionista.com to see where they got them. And follow me on Twitter and Facebook for more TV fashion.