DANA WEISS’ FASHION BLOG: EPISODE 5
As a seasoned Bachelor viewer I want to let you in on one of the little known secrets about dressing for The Bachelor:
Around week five all the women start to revert to the dregs of the wardrobe. It’s at this point where they’ve pretty much exhausted all their new dresses, and you’ll see loads of older dresses – usually from Bebe, Arden B, Wet Seal and Forever 21.
Or as I like to refer to them: last ditch effort.
Don’t believe me? After week 5 Gia Allemand, the girl who puts the “HER” in Hermes wore a 3-year-old Arden B bandage dress. Emily Maynard rocked back-to-back Forever21 bandage dresses in those last few weeks. And even Jillian Harris bid adieu to Jason Mesnick in a colorblock frock from Forevs.’
So this is a bad thing for all of us. Because you probably thought the clothes on this week’s the Bachelor couldn’t get any worse.
But you’d be more wrong than the time Ben went skinny dipping in Puerto Rico.
I’m starting to realize Courtney has multiple personalities, but only one silhouette. Every one of her dresses has been spaghetti strap, v-neck. This one kind of reminds me of a sundress you’d find crumbled up in the back of your closet, and think to yourself, “well I guess this would make a fine beach cover up.”
Unless you were Courtney. Then you’d find it crumbled up next to Ben’s bed the next morning.
Look. I get it. We all love Kacie. But this dress – as they say in Puerto Rico, (and by *they* I mean Nicky) – is moooey terrible. This picture really doesn’t do it justice to how bad it is. The sides are cut out and the back is open, like a weird, bathing suit maxi dress hybrid.
Casey deserves a medal just for wearing this dress. But wait, she already is! Is that an Olympic medal around her neck, or the lost jewel from Titanic?
And then there’s the hair.
Look, I’m a naturally curly girl. My hair goes from flat to frizz in 2.0 but whatever happened to a good old-fashioned ponytail and headband? The braids. The buns. This hairstyle reminded me of Lionel Richie in the “Hello” video.
Hello, Kacey B, it’s not your hair I’m looking for.
I know I sound like a broken record but I loved how playful and breezy this dress was. It was a beautiful color, the neckline was interesting, the color flattering and it didn’t remind me of that Quincinera episode of Top Chef.
Emily’s strapless blue dress.
I can’t actually tell whether Emily’d dress was pretty, or it was just pretty surrounded by Jamie’s pageant gown and Blakely’s “I can’t believe it’s not Butter” dress, but I really liked the simplicity of Emily’s dress.
But I’m not going to talk about it anymore. But I stand by what I said. I really liked Emily’s dress.
But I’m not going to mention it.
Even though I liked it.
*scrunches mouth to the side*
Rachel’s colorblock dress.
Do you think the camera people hate me? I mean, seriously, this is the best I can get of Rachel’s dress? Seriously. I could wallpaper my house with screenshots of Courtney twirling her hair and I can’t get one full length shot of Rachel’s paper bag color block dress?
It’s like going through life without a full length mirror.
And as I predicted from the beginning, Rachel’s dress is from Forever 21.
Who were the best and worst dressed this week in your opinion? Leave it in the comments below.