David “Man Code” Good’s Bachelor Pad Blog: Episode 1

HERE WE GO! Bachelor Pad 2! I can honestly say I am excited to watch this. Putting this cast all in one house is going to be like locking a bunch of pit bulls in a room and throwing in one piece of meat.

I’m not going to go over all their biographies. I’ll just share a few things that stand out to me – but you will get to know how I feel about each one of this season’s contestants as we go on.

Right now, I am laughing so hard at the intro and looking back on all these people’s runs on the show. Holy crap. Ella’s story is terrifying. Her stepfather shot her mother right in front of her! So sorry! Poor girl.

I love Stags. You being upset about your breakup makes me want to give you a hug. I miss your smell, I miss being near you and sleeping in a bed next to you along with 15 other dudes. Wait, what? If you win this we should get an apartment together… wait what? I meant shoot guns, make leather and drive heavy machinery together, clearly!

All right, bio’s are over and it’s game time!

Michelle Money is first out and looks super hot! I have gotten to know her in the past few months and think she is so sweet. I think you will all get to see a different side of her on this show.

Blake seems like a pretty cool dude.

Holly is next. I like her dark hair. You look sexy, babe. Legs for days and days.

Graham is a cool dude. He’s a good-looking guy and a charmer.

Justin “Rated R” actually seems like a wrestler now and is acting like one.

The princess. Hmmmm. “A little thick” was what Blake said. I’ll let him take the heat for that, but agreed.

Vienna looks good. She has lost some weight and her boobs look great. She is not even in the house yet and already in tears. That should explain how this show will be for her. There’s no need to state the obvious but drama, drama, drama!

Ames walks in and I as usual, I can’t help but smile. This dude is awesome!

Gia looks great as always. I wonder if she will “just want everyone to get along” and then tell lies and argue with everyone again. That worked out well for her last time.

Gia and Vienna are already at it and everyone is not even there yet.

Kasey is up next. He looks good. It must feel good walking in knowing you already have someone on your side. However, I’m not sure having Vienna on your side is necessarily a good thing.

Jackie walks in and Michelle has the funniest look on her face. I don’t know Jackie much but she seems cool from what I have seen.

Alli walks and seems to have a clean slate with everyone.

Melissa won my “bat shit crazy” award on her show and I am curious to see if I was off with my judgment on this show.

Michael Stags! My dog! I love this guy! So funny! And, with Holly in the house this should be interesting.

Ella seems to have a pretty clean slate as well.

William from Ashley’s season walks in and I’m already hoping I don’t have to listen to his stupid jokes very much longer.

Fake Jake finally arrives. If you really can’t see through this guy’s BS you probably voted for Obama. Now you know why we all call him fake Jake. Every time he speaks I want to vomit.

When Jake, Vienna and Kasey all met up it was super awkward. Wow. Jake pulls Kasey aside and tells him he is happy for them. This is clearly bullshit and I’m glad Kasey sees through it. I thought Kasey handled it very well.

Chris finally comes into talk to everyone. I can’t believe how much has gone down before he even had a chance to talk to everyone!

Kirk really shot himself in the foot by getting drunk and is now partners with Erica. Fail!

WTF? Jackie and Ames are making out the second morning? Wow. Did not see that coming!

The first competition the contestants have to pair up. The competition is hanging above a bed holding onto each other and the last to let go, wins. Gia’s underdog pick does not seem to be working out for her. Holly and Mike go down next. Graham and Alli are down. Blake and Melisa gone. Erica Rose and Kirk next. Michelle and Ames eliminated. Ella and Justin fall. Of course it comes down to Jake and Jackie and Vienna and Kasey. Jake and Jackie won. I’ve got to give it to him. That’s a job well done sir and great job Jackie.

Vienna is really pissed at Kasey. I think he did the best he could. She is acting like a child and should be building him up not putting him down. This is only the first competition. This should give you an idea of what kind of person we are talking about here. Should I really say any more?

I feel bad for Kasey, but at the same time he is the one who has chosen to be with her. You can tell a lot about a person by who they choose to be in relationships with. Fact!

Am I missing something? When did Jackie and Ames develop such strong feelings?

There is so much strategizing going on right now I can’t type it all out.

Justin seems to be the Gia of this season so far even though Gia is there? Does that make sense? He is trying to play both sides and telling lies and hoping everyone will get along. Guess what? They did not on my show and they won’t on this one either! Playing both sides will only work for so long.

Jackie and Jake’s date is about as cool as a steamy pile of fresh dog poo. Jake is doing a number on Jackie. It’s hilarious how gullible people are. Everything he is saying is BS. Jake does not care about Vienna at all and never has. All show.

Jackie says maybe they should give the rose to Vienna. That is probably the dumbest idea I have heard yet but coming from Jake it would not surprise me.

Listening to Gia and Jake talk about chess is like listening to 5 year olds talk about their farts. “You never win without the queen.” Actually, you do all the time. I can’t help but laugh at Gia. She has been through all this before and still does not get it. Talking about Jake she say’s, “he hurt me, the one person I thought wouldn’t.” Surprise!

Jake only gave her the rose so he could give that speech on national television. It’s all set up. He is full of it and everyone there knows it. Phony. Vienna is actually right this time.

I hope to God there is no one buying this from him or you’re about as smart as Gia was for trusting him. If you are buying it, please get up from reading this and go stick scissors in a light socket.

Alli and Justin might be in trouble here. They are both trying to be on both sides and I’m telling you that does not work. How did they not see this on the last show? Yep! That’s what they get. Let this be a lesson. Being two-faced will get you sent packing.

Justin’s exit was pretty hilarious. Nobody even watched Alli walk to the car. Poor girl. I think she is a nice person caught in a situation she was not sure what to do in.

Can’t wait for next week! Good show!

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