David “Man Code” Good’s Bachelor Pad Blog: Episode 1

HERE WE GO! Bachelor Pad 2! I can honestly say I am excited to watch this. Putting this cast all in one house is going to be like locking a bunch of pit bulls in a room and throwing in one piece of meat.

I’m not going to go over all their biographies. I’ll just share a few things that stand out to me – but you will get to know how I feel about each one of this season’s contestants as we go on.

Right now, I am laughing so hard at the intro and looking back on all these people’s runs on the show. Holy crap. Ella’s story is terrifying. Her stepfather shot her mother right in front of her! So sorry! Poor girl.

I love Stags. You being upset about your breakup makes me want to give you a hug. I miss your smell, I miss being near you and sleeping in a bed next to you along with 15 other dudes. Wait, what? If you win this we should get an apartment together… wait what? I meant shoot guns, make leather and drive heavy machinery together, clearly!

All right, bio’s are over and it’s game time!

Michelle Money is first out and looks super hot! I have gotten to know her in the past few months and think she is so sweet. I think you will all get to see a different side of her on this show.

Blake seems like a pretty cool dude.

Holly is next. I like her dark hair. You look sexy, babe. Legs for days and days.

Graham is a cool dude. He’s a good-looking guy and a charmer.

Justin “Rated R” actually seems like a wrestler now and is acting like one.

The princess. Hmmmm. “A little thick” was what Blake said. I’ll let him take the heat for that, but agreed.

Vienna looks good. She has lost some weight and her boobs look great. She is not even in the house yet and already in tears. That should explain how this show will be for her. There’s no need to state the obvious but drama, drama, drama!

Ames walks in and I as usual, I can’t help but smile. This dude is awesome!

Gia looks great as always. I wonder if she will “just want everyone to get along” and then tell lies and argue with everyone again. That worked out well for her last time.

Gia and Vienna are already at it and everyone is not even there yet.

Kasey is up next. He looks good. It must feel good walking in knowing you already have someone on your side. However, I’m not sure having Vienna on your side is necessarily a good thing.

Jackie walks in and Michelle has the funniest look on her face. I don’t know Jackie much but she seems cool from what I have seen.

Alli walks and seems to have a clean slate with everyone.

Melissa won my “bat shit crazy” award on her show and I am curious to see if I was off with my judgment on this show.

Michael Stags! My dog! I love this guy! So funny! And, with Holly in the house this should be interesting.

Ella seems to have a pretty clean slate as well.

William from Ashley’s season walks in and I’m already hoping I don’t have to listen to his stupid jokes very much longer.

Fake Jake finally arrives. If you really can’t see through this guy’s BS you probably voted for Obama. Now you know why we all call him fake Jake. Every time he speaks I want to vomit.

When Jake, Vienna and Kasey all met up it was super awkward. Wow. Jake pulls Kasey aside and tells him he is happy for them. This is clearly bullshit and I’m glad Kasey sees through it. I thought Kasey handled it very well.

Chris finally comes into talk to everyone. I can’t believe how much has gone down before he even had a chance to talk to everyone!

Kirk really shot himself in the foot by getting drunk and is now partners with Erica. Fail!

WTF? Jackie and Ames are making out the second morning? Wow. Did not see that coming!

The first competition the contestants have to pair up. The competition is hanging above a bed holding onto each other and the last to let go, wins. Gia’s underdog pick does not seem to be working out for her. Holly and Mike go down next. Graham and Alli are down. Blake and Melisa gone. Erica Rose and Kirk next. Michelle and Ames eliminated. Ella and Justin fall. Of course it comes down to Jake and Jackie and Vienna and Kasey. Jake and Jackie won. I’ve got to give it to him. That’s a job well done sir and great job Jackie.

Vienna is really pissed at Kasey. I think he did the best he could. She is acting like a child and should be building him up not putting him down. This is only the first competition. This should give you an idea of what kind of person we are talking about here. Should I really say any more?

I feel bad for Kasey, but at the same time he is the one who has chosen to be with her. You can tell a lot about a person by who they choose to be in relationships with. Fact!

Am I missing something? When did Jackie and Ames develop such strong feelings?

There is so much strategizing going on right now I can’t type it all out.

Justin seems to be the Gia of this season so far even though Gia is there? Does that make sense? He is trying to play both sides and telling lies and hoping everyone will get along. Guess what? They did not on my show and they won’t on this one either! Playing both sides will only work for so long.

Jackie and Jake’s date is about as cool as a steamy pile of fresh dog poo. Jake is doing a number on Jackie. It’s hilarious how gullible people are. Everything he is saying is BS. Jake does not care about Vienna at all and never has. All show.

Jackie says maybe they should give the rose to Vienna. That is probably the dumbest idea I have heard yet but coming from Jake it would not surprise me.

Listening to Gia and Jake talk about chess is like listening to 5 year olds talk about their farts. “You never win without the queen.” Actually, you do all the time. I can’t help but laugh at Gia. She has been through all this before and still does not get it. Talking about Jake she say’s, “he hurt me, the one person I thought wouldn’t.” Surprise!

Jake only gave her the rose so he could give that speech on national television. It’s all set up. He is full of it and everyone there knows it. Phony. Vienna is actually right this time.

I hope to God there is no one buying this from him or you’re about as smart as Gia was for trusting him. If you are buying it, please get up from reading this and go stick scissors in a light socket.

Alli and Justin might be in trouble here. They are both trying to be on both sides and I’m telling you that does not work. How did they not see this on the last show? Yep! That’s what they get. Let this be a lesson. Being two-faced will get you sent packing.

Justin’s exit was pretty hilarious. Nobody even watched Alli walk to the car. Poor girl. I think she is a nice person caught in a situation she was not sure what to do in.

Can’t wait for next week! Good show!

17 Comments »

  1. I absolutely loved this blog. Dave you are so funny. I can’t wait un5il next Monday.

    Comment by Cassie — August 12, 2011 @ 11:01 pm

  2. Agree & Disagree! Jake may be fake on some things But I think He’s the Better Person her.. Not Fake, Winey Vienna! She’s a Drama Queen & uses Anybody to get what she wants including Kasey! Poor Guy! Hope he finally realizes! & what’s up with Kasey having to Protect her from Jake? Protect her from What? Funny that she won’t say why she’s So Scared of Jake! I Like Ames! I hope to see a better side of Michelle Money & there are others I like too! But don’t be so Hard on Jake. I think he has his faults but I think He’s a Much Better Person than Vienna!

    Comment by Molly — August 13, 2011 @ 3:13 pm

  3. Thanks for insulting your audience. You were pretty cynical about Emily Maynard and said some pretty rude things about her, and when you were proven wrong you didn’t even bother to apologize to her. Maybe you aren’t as good a judge of character as you think…

    Comment by Christine — August 13, 2011 @ 6:15 pm

  4. You are the lamest individual I have ever seen. Yes, I voted for Obama and I am smarter than you. What a loser!!

    Comment by jade — August 14, 2011 @ 9:06 pm

  5. Is this what you call a blog? What a joke!! You are embarrassing yourself before anyone else. It is obvious you are a JERK and BUSH LOVER, which is even worse.

    Comment by Mike — August 14, 2011 @ 9:11 pm

  6. obama comment was stupid. no one cares about your politics. i know that straight-talkers tend to hate people with actual intellect and degrees.

    Comment by jess — August 15, 2011 @ 2:25 am

  7. “Putting this cast all in one house is going to be like locking a bunch of pit bulls in a room and throwing in one piece of meat..” Totally agree! Very well said :D DD (so is the rest of the post)

    Comment by Vanya Dee — August 15, 2011 @ 11:34 am

  8. Your Mean!!

    Comment by luvsunshine — August 15, 2011 @ 8:10 pm

  9. hahaha… If people don’t appreciate your sense of humor they shouldn’t be reading your blog! You don’t sugar coat things, but you give credit where credit is due. I loved your recap and love you on the beatdown!

    Comment by Jessica — August 15, 2011 @ 9:50 pm

  10. “You can tell a lot about a person by who they choose to be in relationships with. Fact!” What does that say about you dating Natalie? The two of you deserved each other. Oh wait, she cheated on you. What else does that say about you? You can dish it out, so hopefully you can take it too.

    Comment by BirdOfParadise — August 16, 2011 @ 4:14 am

  11. Hey, Mr. Man code you should really look in the mirror before you think to criticize other people’s behavior.
    Do you have any clue about how pathetic you come across?

    That beatdown show is unwatchable mostly b/c of you. You constantly interrupt everyone like a 5 year old. All muscle no brain… sad and pathetic. FYI, no one cares your political view.

    Comment by Jim — August 16, 2011 @ 11:37 am

  12. What a waste of time. Is this a blog for real?. You are very shallow and immature to comment on any show. Go and get educate yourself before you insult Obama voters. The only thing you can be good at it is throwing “F” bombs left and right if that makes you feel good. just FYI, Bush family are looking for a dog keeper. Try that one.

    Comment by Ocean14 — August 17, 2011 @ 5:48 am

  13. Well, I guess it doesnt take much for anything to be considered a blog! Wtf is up with the Obama comment? I didnt vote for him but that was irrelevant. Bitter much?

    Comment by jennifer — August 17, 2011 @ 8:24 am

  14. If I had embarrassed myself on national TV the way you did on bachelorette , I would’ve disappear from the spotlight for good. By the Way I didn’t vote for Obama, but I will take Jake over you any day douche bag. No one on earth cares about your political view. You need to grow up – if it is possible- before you comment on any show.

    Comment by casey — August 17, 2011 @ 11:46 am

  15. I love you Dave! So spot on.

    Comment by Mar — August 17, 2011 @ 6:22 pm

  16. You need to read Blake’s blog and take some notes before you even consider blogging again. Do you still play with your hair on beat-down. I’ve seen you on that show playing with your an entire episode like a little girl. ughhhh. I think you need professional help.

    Comment by jade — August 18, 2011 @ 4:42 am

  17. Dave,
    I read excerpts from your book and even considered buying it–until I heard you on Bachelor Beatdown and read your remarks here. You come across as childish and arrogant in real life, and if you were smart, you’d stop insulting your audience and learn a little civility. For instance, I did NOT vote for Obama–but if I’m trying to get my book sold, I’m not going to publicly insult half the people in America who did. There go thousands of book sales down the drain. Use some common sense.

    You also reserve your insults for those you personally dislike, but spare your friends, even if their behavior is disgusting. You trash Jake constantly, but give Kasey & Vienna a pass–even though she’s constantly playing the victim, talking trash, being rude, etc. Honesty goes both ways, and if you want us to listen, then don’t be so biased.

    Comment by Me — August 19, 2011 @ 1:10 am

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