Erica Rose’s Bachelor Pad Blog: Episode 1

Okay so here are my thoughts on the season premiere.  When it came to background packages I definitely though that Kalon’s was the most hilar.  I love how he totally channeled Christian Bateman when he stared at himself in the mirror and then did pushups.  I didn’t even know that he had done that when I later said he tried to be American Psycho!   I also liked the shots of him in the helicopter and thought it was funny when he said he was back to ruin everyone’s f-ing summer.  I actually had no idea that he was reprising his role as villain because he was being pretty nice to everyone and then doing stuff behind the scenes.

Swat’s background package showed such a contrast between his life as a SWAT officer and his life as a fan.  During the day he is a badass and at night he unwinds with a glass of wine and watching the Bachelorette.  I love that.

After that, the arrivals start…it was funny to me when Jaclyn thought that Ryan was one of the fans because she didn’t recognize him.  When I arrived I remember being excited to see Michael and nervous to see Kalon, although our confrontation was not as bad as it could have been.  I actually thought that we had reconciled after that, but I was right not to trust him since he ended up voting for me!  I guess he is like me in that he doesn’t forget or forgive sometimes.

As the night progressed, Ed’s drunkenness did as well.  We like to call his drunk alter-ego Ted.  It was funny that Chris Harrison had to drag him back inside.  Chris can be like our dad sometimes, even though he is not that much older than us. Speaking of age, I am 29 not 30!!!  I am hoping that this can be fixed by Monday.

Partnering up was fun to watch. How impressive was it that Nick could do push-ups while I was sitting on him?!  I totally thought that we had the first challenge in the bag.  Obviously I was completely wrong since we lost!  Nick was just too big to stay in that heart.  That is why the team of little people- Dave and Brittany won.   Looking back, maybe I should have sucked it up and partnered with a fan, even though at the time it felt inappropriate, like sleeping with the help, which come on y’all that would be wrong!  I really did have a nightmare about partnering with a fan the night before!!  Hey, you can’t control your dreams.

I learned my lesson and it sucked having a vote against me going into elimination but I did not know that I really had anything to worry about until Dave told me that he was going to vote against me!  Bad move. Not only did he then have to endure the wrath of me when I’m mad, which as we saw I can be pretty bitchy.  But also, that sent me into a tailspin of fake crying and campaigning to get the rest of the guys to all vote the same way.  I never told them to vote for Paige, but as Michael put it, Donna was just better to look at so the guys wanted to keep her around.  I think Paige is a pretty girl, but I have never seen such a naturally banging body like Donna’s before and neither had the guys.

Lucky for me SWAT saved the day and saved me from getting eliminated.  That is something that I never thought would happen.  I got saved by a fan…and a sexy SWAT officer at that.  I love the look of disappointment on Kalon’s face when I got my rose.   Also, Dave looked pretty shocked too.  I think he is worried that I will actually try to make his life a living hell now that I’m still in the house.  You will have to wait until next week to see if I really do.

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