Jaclyn’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 4

Week 4, Jaws are sore.

So anyway, last night’s ep was pretty dece. More of the girls are getting airtime (we will cover that) with the exception of Jackie (who is totally cute and I am not understanding what’s lacking that her material isn’t air worthy?!) and Daniella, who I love. I know I said it last week and I’m saying it again. That’s the beauty of having a blog. Just a side note, my criteria for loving people is 1) if they are skinny and pretty and/or  2) if they are a lot like me personality wise.

Anyway, (never) enough about me, let’s talk about the show. I know some of you follow me on twitter and I try to tweet some things during the episode, but also try not to overlap my thoughts from twitter and the blog (yes I actually put effort into these things for YOU) but, I got a tweet response last night that made me laugh. This person told me that all I do is bitch and complain about the show and that I should get over myself.

My thoughts:

1) Bitching and complaining is so much more fun than spewing rainbows and dolphins

2) Guilty pleasure, have you heard of the concept?

3) I am a true believer in this show, but if there weren’t an entertainment factor then the show wouldn’t be as successful

4) I am sarcastic. If you aren’t sarcastic yourself, then you should probably revert back to reading take out menus and piano books, not my blog.

5) I will never get over myself

So with that being said, we open the episode with Sean in his boxer briefs. Thank god they were black, so they appeared clean…even if they weren’t. We have to leave SOMETHING to the imagination at this point.

Lesley tells America that she’s really sad because she wants to have a date, then we immediately pan to her…not getting a date.

The date is for Selma! All of the boyfriends and husbands who are “forced” to watch this show are now suddenly a little too excited. Fights break out across homes in America.

They hop in the limo…then plane…and then end up in the middle of a desert, and quite frankly, I am not sure who is going to kill who first in this scenario. Selma beats America to the punch by saying, “They take the Iraqi to the desert?!” and all of a sudden she isn’t just beauty and boobs to me, she has a good sense of humour! (Sometimes I like to type like I am British.)

Selma’s comments were making me laugh, and judging by the fact that she usually wears 6 inch heels (I am hoping that she is like 5’3″ max?!) she was probably cringing when she had to wear those heinous hiking shoes that looked like a hybrid of aqua socks and those nasty puma bike shoes. BASICALLY the female version of men wearing tevas with cargo shorts. Sean, the perv, thought it was “fun to watch her attempt to climb” — all because his view was of Selma’s crass (crotch/ass).

The next part of the date is at a trailer park, where clearly the same scenery was used from Bachelor Pad. Those pink flamingos are expensive! The only difference was that Blakeley felt a little too at home, whereas Selma, did not.

Selma brings up her family and how she can’t kiss Sean, and I am stumped. I know her boobs are good, and it will probably be enough to hold her over for a couple more episodes, but in all honesty, I don’t know how people go on this show and think they can make up their own rules. This is the BACHELOR! Hot tub make outs, whip cream, zooming in on tongues, whatevs! Anything goes. I just don’t see how you can compete in this game, with the potential of being engaged, without ever kissing someone. We can cover that all when we get to the overnight dates in a few weeks.

Needless to say, Selma gets a rose, which she should because she is really pretty and it’s still kind of early.

Next up is the group date, where the girls are to partake in the most lesbianish butchish sport in the world; roller derby. In other words, DEFINITELY perfect for rails like these girls, who, as we were reminded in this episode, weigh 110 pounds. It’s like watching these girls play softball, but better, because there will probably be some deaths. Not only are these girls out of their element, but throwing in a girl who is missing a forearm, is just plain MEAN. I knew I would love every minute of it. Anytime you throw in some intense physical sport on the bachelor, the girls become rabid dogs and basically try to outshine the others. However, none are athletic or graceful, so they all end up failing miserably. We see this happen when Sarah cries (I actually felt bad, I LOVE her), Robyn falls into a split (conveniently in front of Sean, annoying), and Amanda’s jaw get’s wired shut, momentarily.

After all the girls get injured, 1 by 1, the roller derby date turns into my 5th grade roller-skating birthday party. The only thing missing was some skeeball and pizza!

In all honesty, I would have hated being on this season. Far too much physical activity designed for dudes. I am not sure what Sean is trying to pull here? It’s not nice and I’m tearing up as I write this. The next group date would have been attending my funeral. Ser. I would be dead.

At the night portion of the date, nothing really happens except for Tierra crying. She claims she’s a strong woman, but she is crying in the corner in the dark like a weirdo. I don’t know, I still really like her. I think for entertainment purposes. Sean gives Tierra the group date rose, and jaws across America hit the floor. I have nothing funny to say here, Sean’s a moron.

Then….Leslie H. finally gets the 1 on 1 date she’s been waiting for – a pretty woman date! Sean arrives in a flannel with a vest over it, and everyone’s lady boners are shot to sh*t.

They arrive at Badgley Mischka so that Sean can treat her to some shopping, and I could NOT wait for a lady to come out and tell her to go elsewhere because she couldn’t be helped/roll her eyes/stare Leslie up and down. This didn’t happen, but in a twist of events they decided to offer her only the ugliest dresses in the store. Tapestry on tapestry on tapestry. Definitely a meaner joke than taking the girls to be lesbian athletes for the day.

The dress Leslie ended up choosing looked like this:

I am going to give Leslie the benefit of the doubt, because according to what she tried on, she had slim pickings.

Leslie and Sean end up going to dinner, and at this point, we have already heard her say the following:

1) Holy Moly

2) Holy Moly Batman

3) Winner winner chicken dinner

4) A bunch of other embarrassing and social suicidal quotes that are awkward

We are taken back to the house where Tierra and 2 others are discussing whether or not they think Leslie is coming home. However, I was too distracted by Tierra eating Nacho Cheese Doritos off a plate. Tierra, making Doritos look classy since 2013. Loved it, love her.

Dinner with Sean and Leslie seemed quick to me, but I think that’s because I was online shopping during this entire date. Needless to say, I think that there was a lack of connection, and while I think Leslie is a pretty girl with a unique look, it was probably her time to go. Oh and the fact that she was on another dating show where she dressed like a…fanta girl?

Lots of used goods this season! At least she got to keep the earrings??

We are finally at the rose ceremony cocktail party.

Amanda’s lips go from blood red to black, and I assume she has a man demon inside of her.

AshLee gets her time with Sean where he tells her how much he’s been thinking of her. I love her SO much. She’s so pretty and YES I think she’s genuine. I know she will be sticking around for a while.

Robyn, who always wears cute dresses, proceeds to give Jamie Otis a run for her money in competing for the “Most Awkward Moment in Bachelor History” as quoted by Chris Harrison. She wanted Sean to taste the chocolate, but this wasn’t Godiva, kids. This was like Walmart brand imitation chocolate from the dollar store sale section. It did not look like Sean liked tasting the chocolate. However, Jamie still takes the cake on the bachelor’s most awkward moment, strictly because I don’t like her.

Tierra gives an empty apology to Jackie and Robyn, and since we haven’t seen much of Jackie, I was really confused as to why she received an apology as well. At this point, I’m just wishing Tierra told them to “take one up the tailpipe” a la Courtney, so that she at least seemed a little consistent with her personality. I love a good bitch, and Tierra needs to stick to her guns.

Catherine finally gets some airtime and I can now see why she has been around this whole time. Sean says that they always are laughing and goofing around, and to me, that is the most important aspect of a relashe. They kiss and things are all good in Catherine/Sean world. She has now entered my top 5. I can’t wait to see more of her.

Sean eliminates Amanda at the rose ceremony because due to her recent jaw injury he knows a BJ is out of the question in the fantasy suite.

 

Top 5 best dressed this ep:

1) Sarah

2) Amanda

3) Catherine

4) Lindsay

5) Robyn

 

Top 5 girls for Sean:

1) Lindsay

2) Des

3) AshLee

4) Catherine

5) Lesley

 

Can’t wait to hear your thoughts. See you next week for 2 nights in a row of sarcastic fun.

XO

JAC

twitta & insta: @jaclynswartz

63 Comments »

  1. I was so glad we got to see some of Catherine this week. She is so cute. I seriously loved when she called Tierra “Tierrable”. It was one of the more clever things you hear. Especially when compared to Lindsays “Hampster Ball” comment. I do really like Lindsay though. She has the ditz thing going for her.
    I already liked AshLee, but I almost fell in love with her myself when she was reassuring Sarah at the Roller Derby date. She is so sweet and so pretty!
    Love Selma. Hate Tierra. I kind of cringe everytime I see her. She does bring an entertainment factor to the show, I will give you that.
    Excited I discovered your blog today and will now def be following you on Twitter. Thanks for being real and telling us what you really think, not what you think we want to hear.

    Comment by ShaLane — January 29, 2013 @ 4:46 pm

  2. Your last quip was a classic…Selma will make it to the final four, at least; nothing more tantalizing than forbidden fruit!

    Comment by Richard — January 29, 2013 @ 4:48 pm

  3. I said the exact same thing about the Doritos!!! Who eats them off a plate!?!? Love your blog!

    Comment by Stefanie — January 29, 2013 @ 4:54 pm

  4. I was glad to see Catherine get more air time this week too – almost forgot about her & she’s adorable! And thanks for taking the time to write such a thorough and HILARIOUS blog – love it!!!!

    Comment by Amy — January 29, 2013 @ 5:11 pm

  5. Anyone else hear Tierra’s name as Tiara?

    I frankly didn’t like Selma. Seriously, put your boobs back in your top. How can you be modest while letting it all hang out. A few other girls did as well — including Tierra. Ladies, show respect for yourselves.

    Selma’s immodest dress ensured the camera men took and broadcasted images of her crotch and butt crack and visuals down her blouse for the nation to see and which will live on infamy on Youtube.

    Honestly, Selma, I would had more respect for you if you agreed to kiss but kept you clothes on and let something to the imagination. Kind of a tease or just really confused person.

    Comment by linda — January 29, 2013 @ 5:15 pm

  6. Oh yes, also Selma’s 110 pound comment made her seem silly. Ummm…Selma..110 pounds is not much. I’m sure Sean’s feet can handle it.

    Why play modest, but expose your boobs and then advertise your weight.

    If you want him to like who you are on the inside, maybe you could show that side. You’re already a beautiful woman — you don’t need to give him your measurements and allow yourself to be hugged to the point where your boobs are practically falling out of your top to be noticed.

    Comment by linda — January 29, 2013 @ 5:19 pm

  7. Did you see that Leslie H. was also on Happy Endings? Not sure she was there for the “right reasons.”

    Comment by Hilary A. — January 29, 2013 @ 5:32 pm

  8. I concur that Tierra is solid gold reality TV. I love that she chows down on camera, love that she’s pretty/bitchy, and I love her Disney-villain eyebrow. Question of the week for my fave blogger–will you go back on bach pad (pls say yes), and if so, which of these girls would you want in the house?

    Comment by Bex — January 29, 2013 @ 5:39 pm

  9. Love your blogs! So funny. Keep being you!

    Comment by Lilo — January 29, 2013 @ 5:53 pm

  10. Alrighty Jaclyn, I can’t tell if I love you or if I hate you but I think it’s because we’re both bitches and bitch lovers. BUT anyway I love your blog either way.

    First off, loved the Selma crass statement, I was thinking the same thing, kudos to Sean. AND I loved her Iraqi joke as well, she seems like a great girl. Love a good sense of humour.

    Second: I hate Tierra. She is just one of those bitches that you can’t even like. She’s just God awful and annoying… her whole crying stunt was to get Sean to give her the rose and it grossed me out that she got her way. Honestly though she’s just too dramatic to win unless Sean hates himself and wants to choose her over all the other more beautiful and more sane women still in the running for his heart.

    Third: HAHAHAA oh my god Leslie’s socially suicidal quotes were horrendous… I think I heard her say “Holy Moly” three or four times. RIDICULOUS. Nice girl, but damn she’s awk.

    Fourth: Why don’t you like Robyn? She seems nice enough.

    Fifth: AMANDA IS HIDEOUS… she needs to realize that lipstick just doesn’t work for her. Glad she’s gone.

    LASTLY: Kinda just love you. And also hate you. But I think ya just don’t give a damn which I also love.

    Keep bloggin’ bitch, bye! <3

    Comment by Jacklyn S — January 29, 2013 @ 5:55 pm

  11. Catherine knows what to say. Every time she’s with Sean she tells him how attracted she is to him and how she is so glad he’s the bachelor. He’s loving it too.

    Comment by Kimm — January 29, 2013 @ 6:21 pm

  12. Jaclyn you are friggin hysterical. Best. Blog. EVERRRR!!! Love you, keep writing!

    Comment by Laura — January 29, 2013 @ 6:36 pm

  13. Haha jaclyn youre hilarious and I was basicaly cringing throughout leslies entire date. Hhaa at least robyn didnt rip her dress and awkwardly giggle throughout what looked like her first kiss ever. I was pretty disapointed that tierra didn’t get the trailer park date because she looks so out of place in her black booty shorts chilin in a mansion. Courtney did the bitch thing a lot better than tierra. At least courtney was up front about how she felt and didnt f around with weather or not she was going to be a bitch. Also court was pretty funny and quirky and tierras obnoxious. Loved you on bp3. Youre really pretty and youre the realestost straightup girl to ever be on the show. I wanted you to win t he money and leave ed in the dust.

    Do you think sean is attractive? Do you think hes smart? I know youve met him so you would know but he seems like kind of an idiot on the show …

    Big fan!

    Comment by cassie — January 29, 2013 @ 6:39 pm

  14. Your blog is funny.

    Selma has issues. What a major TEASE! It was so obvious what she was doing. And I should know. I’ve done it too, albeit in a previous life. Modesty schmodesty. It’s okay to go on national TV with your boobs leading the way and then lay under the covers on a guy you just met but it’s not okay to kiss him? Her parents must be very proud.

    Leslie. I think Sean picked her for this date on purpose because he knew he was going to dump her and wanted to give her the earrings to soften the blow (or to avoid a discrimination suit). Ya just never know.

    Daniella is the next to go. Have they even had a conversation yet? At the rose ceremonies, she always has the most sour, miserable look on her face. UGH.

    It would be nice if he got to know Jackie a bit better instead of wasting time on a whiner like Tierra.

    Comment by Cheryl — January 29, 2013 @ 6:50 pm

  15. I think cassie has some good questions: As an “older” woman(you’ll all get here some day, girls, if you’re lucky!)I find Sean painfully dull…It’s fun watching how the silly mean girls dupe him though…Fascinating LOL :)

    Comment by Maturesillyintellectual — January 29, 2013 @ 6:51 pm

  16. Your shortforms for words crack me up! You’re hillar!

    Comment by Susan — January 29, 2013 @ 7:12 pm

  17. I agree with everything you have said. I really enjoy your sarcastic sense of humor. It’s amazeballs. Des has kind of fallen out of my top 3. Her personality can be a bit annoying at times and she always seems to be in the conversations revolving around drama. I still kind of like her though. I adore AshLee! Can she be any more sweet or genuine?! Unfortunately though, I don’t think they will end up together. My absolute favorite is Lindsay!! I think she’s adorable, sweet, and she clearly doesn’t take herself too seriously. Someone said she was ditzy and I don’t see that. It looks like we’ll be seeing more of her next week! I like Catherine, but at the same time she acts a bit childish and it can be annoying!

    Comment by Jill — January 29, 2013 @ 7:32 pm

  18. Jac, I can’t think of who Catherine is. . . Give me some specifics.
    -Amanda’s bj part was just weird, I think her jaw drugs made her loopy, at least that’s what I’m hoping. . .
    - love love love Ashlee!!!
    - and the fact that Selma can’t kiss is just strange. . . Seriously how old are you, but, she’s pretty so that’s a plus.
    - overall this epidode was kindaaaa boring

    Again loved the blog :)

    Comment by Jaclyn — January 29, 2013 @ 7:51 pm

  19. ‘Go back to reading menus and piano books’ – you KILL me!!

    Comment by Melanie — January 29, 2013 @ 8:10 pm

  20. I laughed so hard at this. #4 on your list above (to the person on twitter) was the best thing I have read all week. Thank you! I so agree with you on your top 5! I hate Tierra but she is good entertainment. And from now on I will refer to her as “Tierrable.” hehe. Have an fab week, Jaclyn!

    Comment by Beth H — January 29, 2013 @ 8:16 pm

  21. I seriously love your blog. Makes me laugh every week.

    Comment by Tara — January 29, 2013 @ 8:21 pm

  22. I agree with almost everything you say!
    I get that you like Tierra for entertainment value; that’s all she is to me too. But just cause your both bitches, I don’t get that she’s the kind of girl you’d want to hang out with off the show (I think you said this in a previous blog??)–she clearly lacks your level of maturity in the way she acts with Sean. At least you can stand your ground and hold your shit together in a stressful situation!
    While we have completely different personalities, I love how you own your sassyness and always keep it real! your jokes always make me laugh and you have awesome confidence. Keep up the good work!

    Comment by sky — January 29, 2013 @ 8:54 pm

  23. Selma made 2 classic rookie mistakes that I feel will cost her the final rose. if she watched the bachelor from Jakes season -now She would have know what to do and not do.
    1st mistake- (The classic Elizabeth Kitt not kiss until your the only girl) din’t work for her, why did Selma think that game would work on Sean?
    2nd Mistake- DON”T tell about your crazy parents.. lessen learned from Bens season ( Kacie B)
    Also don’t give out too much info until your at least at hometowns.. This cost Paige from getting a rose ep 1… And it is why Ashlee is still around..she has yet to tell Sean about her divorce.. Thats a good move…and that is why she is still around.. develop feelings, and love..then drop some bombs.. Selma dropped a few MOAB bombs last night… surprised she even got a rose..but she wont be around much long..

    Comment by Cy — January 29, 2013 @ 10:23 pm

  24. “Fights break out across homes in America” Lol!! no doubt. glad I watch alone.

    side note: pretty sure Leslie was hand picking those hideous dresses (based on what eyesores she’d been wearing at past rose ceremony) for realz

    Comment by Elena — January 29, 2013 @ 11:04 pm

  25. Love your blog Jaclyn! Hilarious!
    Particularly the BJ comment, I couldn’t stop laughing!
    Can’t wait til next week

    Comment by Katie — January 30, 2013 @ 3:40 am

  26. Great again Jaclyn!

    Last week I made the comment I wasn’t too sure AshLee was genuine; but I completely agree with you that she is. On the group date, she truly cared about Sarah and helping her and being there for her. LOVE her now!

    And is just me, or does Jackie look a little bit like Ashlee Simpson??

    Can’t wait til next week!

    Comment by Heather — January 30, 2013 @ 4:20 am

  27. You are a pisser girl. Love your blog, comments, way of saying what you think. Total pisser.
    I strongly dislike Tierra but she is total entertainment.
    :)

    Comment by Claudia — January 30, 2013 @ 5:35 am

  28. You did it again! Amazing blog! I love that I laugh more reading your blog than watching the show. My fav lady is definitely AshLee! Love love love her! I’m over the Katie Holmes look alike and don’t think that since Sean is such an outspoken Christian that things with Selma will work since she is Muslim, but we’ll see.

    Thanks for taking the time to do this blog, love it!

    Comment by Michelle — January 30, 2013 @ 6:51 am

  29. @ShaLane – so glad you found the blog this week! welcome :)

    @Richard – as a guy, you WOULD say Selma is making it to the final four. haha. I think she is breathtakingly beautiful, but something was off on their date. Like at surface value their date went really well, but I think on a deeper level the connection isn’t there.

    @Linda – I understand your feelings on Selma…while I don’t agree with you (which is OKAY!) I can understand how that whole thing rubbed people the wrong way. I did’t think her boobs were necessarily OUT, but they are definitely there, and it does contradict slightly with her kissing rule. The 110 pounds comment was really annoying, and she probably forgot that america would later be watching this…Like such a humble brag and probably acceptable 1 on 1 off camera, but not for america to see. whoops.

    @Hilary A. – Leslie has had a run on a few shows and seems to be an aspiring actress. Do I think she wants to find love? Yes. Do I think that was her only reason for going on the show? Hell to the no.

    @Bex – Good question!! I would probz go back on pad. It would be really weird to play with out Ed though! I would love to see Daniella, Tierra, Lesley, & Ashley P there too.

    @Jacklyn S – Stop stealing my name. Also love me or love to hate me. It’s essentially the same thing, don’t care! And I don’t hate Robyn, she’s just an easy target. Come on, the chocolate thing? Vom dot com. Thanks for reading! <3

    Comment by Jaclyn — January 30, 2013 @ 7:26 am

  30. @Cassie – I think off camera Sean is way more fun and funny!! He is so sweet but also has a witty side we haven’t really seen. I think the same applied for Ben too. People complained of him being dull, but he actually is a ton of fun and funny — I really wish we saw more of this from the Bachelors and that they werent so watered down. Also one of the main reasons why I wanted Arie as the Bach. He was funny in his outtakes.

    @Jill – thanks for agreeing with me. YTB (you’r the best).

    @Jaclyn – Ashlee is so pretty and I love her in an aggressive way.

    @Sky – Tierra’s behavior has been super lame. I still do think she has the potential to be normal, but I can’t deal with the woe is me crap. I like her because I think she’s pretty and for some reason I am pulling for her…I think it’s just because everyone hates her and its more fun for me that way. Crying like that and saying she’s being tortured is a LITTTTTTTTLE over the top. It doesn’t make much sense, but I like having her around on my tv.

    @Elena – good point. her dresses were horrendous through and through. I may take back my statement.

    @Heather – maybe ashlee simpson post nose job?

    @Claudia – Pisser? Haha. Are you from Boston?! (I am, so don’t take that the wrong way)

    OKAY! it looks like des fell down in most of your rankings this week, and Ashlee moved up! yay ashleeeeee. kbai.

    Comment by Jaclyn — January 30, 2013 @ 7:29 am

  31. love, love, LOVE you blog. Started laughing out loud in the bus…
    Faves: AshLee, Daniella (who should def get more airtime!!), Lesley, Catherine (who suddenly comes in and steals everyone’s show. Seriously, where’d she come from?)and Des.

    Comment by Bee — January 30, 2013 @ 7:37 am

  32. Jaclyn, you left out the worst socially suicidal comment of Leslie’s, that made my husband and I cringe…she said…wait for it…”Ooo la la” The ick heard round the world!

    Comment by Jenny — January 30, 2013 @ 7:44 am

  33. @Jenny – Dates are so funny and awkward because they are always set up real nice and fancy, but its clear that Sean didn’t put it together with his bare hands. I used to say awkward things like – OMG!!! You did ALL this, for ME?! You shouldn’t have… Not “Ooo La La” bahaha.

    Comment by Jaclyn — January 30, 2013 @ 8:38 am

  34. I love AshLee too! I think she’s great, however I’m not sold on Catherine. She compliments him too much, like she’s a 14 yr old going out with the high school quarterback. On night one, just out of the limo, she tells him ‘You’re a hunk’. Then last night, she tells him that he’s so good looking, and that she has a crush on him. Then at the rose ceremony, she tells him she wants to kiss him. Ok, lady, cool your engines! I just hope all this ego-stroking is going to Sean’s head.

    Comment by Christine Chaos — January 30, 2013 @ 9:39 am

  35. Oops, I meant to say I hope Catherine’s ego stroking ISN’T going to Sean’s head.
    PS I agree with you, I still don’t hate Tierra, we’ve seen worse villains ie. Vienna and Courtney.

    Comment by Christine Chaos — January 30, 2013 @ 9:47 am

  36. Jackie should be getting air time.. i don’t know why we never see her she is one of the best girls on the show!! soo anooyinnnggg

    Comment by Blahh — January 30, 2013 @ 9:59 am

  37. New Jersey :)
    Need I say more???

    Comment by Claudia — January 30, 2013 @ 11:30 am

  38. Let me educate you readers a little about the exposure of the “boobs”. We lived for many years in Saudi Arabia,one of the most conservative countries in the world. Women there will cover their hair, faces, clothing, hands and feet. However, they don’t believe it is immodest to show some breast when nursing a baby in a crowd. I was shocked beyond words the first time I saw a woman, totally covered, pulling out her breast for her baby at a graduation. In other Middle East countries where covering with the hijab is not required, showing lots of cleavage is not taboo. Selma stepped out of bounds, not be showing her boobs but by letting Sean touch her. This would be a big “no no” in the Arab community.

    Comment by Tisha — January 30, 2013 @ 12:00 pm

  39. Ok, please do not take this the wrong way, but I am actually curious as to why you say you LOVE Sarah? She is crazy pretty and definitely the best dressed, and I feel like ABC wants us to root for her, but I find her grating. Now, I know that the Bachelor is a hyperbole-rich environment, but to call a day of rollerskating the most difficult day of one’s life is a bit much. I would be happy to overlook her one arm (like I said, she is gorgeous) if she would just stop harping on it for even a minute (I know that could be editing, too, but either way, it is being laid on pretty thick). Totally agree with everyone who pointed out AshLee’s kindness to Sarah at the roller derby, though. She seems like an authentically good person who chooses to look at life in a positive light despite her difficult past. Also, she’s stunning.

    Comment by Lara — January 30, 2013 @ 12:37 pm

  40. Best blog ever put up on this site. Best.

    Reasons include: thorough coverage without being boring, intelligent and witty commentary, real humor without resorting to low blows (i.e., avoiding racism, perverse comments and other such low class and untalented attempts to be funny I’ve seen in past season blogs), always accurate, and all around … fist class entertainment to read!

    Comment by Sarah Whitney — January 30, 2013 @ 12:46 pm

  41. Thanks Tisha – that was some good info on your culture. It seems like Selma can’t please any nationality on this planet … if they are female, that is. LOL.

    Comment by marti — January 30, 2013 @ 12:50 pm

  42. I do not like Catherine. She is really cute, but she seems crafty, sneaky and like she is playing a game saying all the right things which mainly using sexual attraction. That said, kinda losing respect for Sean falling for it. Maybe Sean is not as serious as we are led to believe.

    Comment by marti — January 30, 2013 @ 12:51 pm

  43. Jac,

    Best. Blog. Ever. Thank goodness they have you blogging, or it wouldn’t be worth visiting here at the moment – ever since Ashley Spivey’s blog finished up… But you are carrying the torch now! :)

    I actually laughed my butt off at everything you said! Hysterical. Hys’teirra’cal. Still loling about lesbian rollerskaters and your funeral…

    Yay for Jac!

    Comment by Lucy in Australia — January 30, 2013 @ 4:50 pm

  44. HAHA– your comment about Jamie, I died. Classic. Is anyone else falling off the sean-banwagon? He’s getting a little boring, if I do say so myself. I also was online shopping through the majority of the show. It’s awkward and painful to see their one-on-ones. Not to mention, Selma is a closet whore. Aint nobody got time for that. Okay, I suppose I’ll go back to work now. xx,M.

    Comment by Micaela — January 31, 2013 @ 6:48 am

  45. @Lara – I love Sarah because she’s cute and has clothes that I own/would wear. I do think that they are harping on the (lack of) arm a little too much, but you cannot blame her for that. From an insiders perspective, I know that she must be asked a lot of questions about it in interviews. I also think that it is her storyline. Also, the show has never had this situation before, so I think they are taking it and running with it. We know from her hometown package that she doesn’t let it deter her from things, she doesn’t ever feel like she’s disabled, and she doesn’t even wear a prosthetic…so knowing what we know, I would attribute talking about her arm situation a lot to the show.

    @Lucy – LUCCYYYYYYYYYYY – from aus!? I am so glad you are reading this! thanks! (I lived in Coogee Beach for 6 months in college and did nothing but drink and eat and came home 15 pounds fatter. thought the scale was broken. best 6 months of my life)

    @Micaela – I think that we NEED to see more of Sean’s sense of humor. For me, being funny/having a sense of humor is like #1 on my requirement list. I’m getting a little bored too. But I am looking forward to seeing some of my faves get 1 on 1s – Catherine, Lindsay, maybs Tierra? Is it just me or do people feel like they dont know the girls AT ALL yet? hm.

    Comment by Jaclyn — January 31, 2013 @ 8:21 am

  46. Best blog ever? Seriously? You remind me of the movie Mean Girls…..times ten! You have proven yourself to be a really unlikeable person. So, after the Bach is over, what will you do to try and keep your name in the spotlight? Oh wait….you’ll probably go back on BP and once again show the world you’re a classless, nasty person.

    Comment by Lisa — January 31, 2013 @ 8:26 am

  47. @marti, I couldn’t agree with you more. We seem to be in the minority of seeing right through Catherine, and surprised that Sean doesn’t see it. I would hope he would chose someone like AshLee. I think he’s going to be following in Emily’s footsteps and choose the wrong person.

    Comment by Christine Chaos — January 31, 2013 @ 8:37 am

  48. @Lisa – Spot on. I actually loved your comment (Mean Girls is my fave movie ever). Keep on truckin’

    Comment by Jaclyn — January 31, 2013 @ 9:09 am

  49. Yep, I’m in Melbourne, Australia! Represent! Huge Bach fan… it doesnt air here (well it does but about a year after.. wtf?) so I download it and watch it after it airs each week in the states…

    I love your ‘I’ll never get over myself’ comment… best call ever.

    And just to throw a curve ball into the whole ‘Selma’ debate… I don’t understand how someone can say they dont want to kiss or be immodest on TV… and yet there’s a realllllly full on video of her on Youtube where she gets her top off whilst modelling shoes? What the? Smells fishy to me….

    Lucy x

    P.S 6 months in Coogee is nowhere NEAR enough! You need to see the rest of Oz!! Melbourne ROCKS… fashion/arts/culture/glamour! Much nicer than Sydney :)

    Comment by Lucy from Australia — January 31, 2013 @ 12:43 pm

  50. Best blog ever. No comparison to anyone who has ever blogged on here.

    Comment by Ashley2 — February 1, 2013 @ 6:06 am

  51. @Lucy – i totally want to go back there — i went to basically every state except melbourne…which makes no sense to me since its def the fashion hub of aus!

    @Ashley2 – thanks g!

    Comment by Jaclyn — February 1, 2013 @ 12:10 pm

  52. For the record! My husband, who loves the show of his own accord, HATES Selma. To the point that I defended her bc she’s cute & can identify when a hand brake is still on in the stick shift jeep before Sean can. She’s a catch!

    Comment by Margaret — February 2, 2013 @ 4:59 pm

  53. The BJ quip = priceless!

    This season of Bachelor looks more like Survivor or Love in the Wild, what with all the adrenaline dates and danger involved.

    Speaking of which, what’s up with Sarah only getting dangerous physical dates? She wasn’t on the photoshoot, and not even at beach volleyball (that would have been awkward but at least not dangerous). Imagine if every date Emily got on Brad’s season had been a racecar date?

    I don’t think the Bachworld has ever seen such a well-rounded contestant as Selma – beautiful, bodacious, great hair, sweet, personable, eloquent, funny, and charming. The kiss vs boobs thing? Well, many first-generation immigrants from eastern countries struggle with a keeping one foot in the US and the other foot in their native culture, and sometimes their approach to this dilemma appears (or is) inconsistent. Oh well, it’s a tough struggle.

    Catherine comes across as an old-school flirt, the kind of coquette you’d see in a black-and-white movie. I guess Sean likes the “you can have me, but you have to come get me” approach.

    This season seems to have the best set of gals ever, with more smart, level-headed, likable women than in any other season. Jaclyn, how do you think they compare to your season as a whole?

    I dislike how most recaps just regurgitate what happened on the show. Duh, I already watched the show. A recap should really be about the writer, using the show as a vehicle to practice their craft, and your recaps are a perfect example of this. Best blogs in the BachNation!

    Comment by Shirley — February 2, 2013 @ 10:23 pm

  54. Tierra has the Britney Spears crazy eyes!!! That says it all! :) )

    Comment by Larisa — February 3, 2013 @ 6:31 am

  55. Btw, I m waiting more for your blog than the Bachelor episodes! Your blog is so much funnier and entertaining than the actual episodes! And I still stick to my opinion that u and Ed would make a fabulous couple! ;)

    Comment by Larisa — February 3, 2013 @ 6:35 am

  56. Still entertaining blog Jalyn. Keep it up!

    LOL, Selma looked like a pro at that climbing. (Girls are finally learning, and putting what they would love to do as their biggest fear in the pre-show interview(?)).
    Selma became unavalilable and even more attractive to Sean by refusing to give him a kiss, BUT: If you respect your parents’ supposedly strict opinions that much, then you don’t go on a tv show to find love, flaunt your hot body like that and have your hands all over Sean (why is kissing the big deal?). Then again: is she there for love or fame or?
    Selma is stunning and was my favorite from the beginning, but now it makes me question her.

    I’m liking Ashlee better for each episode.

    Also, sad not getting to see more of Leslie M. I like her too.

    Tierra is good tv, so luckily she did not go home yet. I don’t seee her staying that long, even if Sean likes her. She creates too much drama, but I’ll miss her drama once Sean figures it out and sends her home.

    I liked Catherine until she started having conversations with Sean, seems like it is too much focus on sexual chemistry from her all the time. Maybe I need to see her more, because in her interviews/conversations with girls I like her.

    Desiree and Lindsay seem like they say whatever Sean would like to hear. Lindsay making that baby voice when shee talks to him is annoying.

    Sarah said she doesn’t want guys to think that to date a woman with a disability is more emotional, yet she seems to cry/complain about it too often. Maybe it’s the editing, but it has been a lot of focus on that.

    I liked Leslie H, but as soon as I saw she would be going on a date, it was apparent Sean was told to bring a girl that there was a possibility he could send home. Until then he has just been handing out the roses.

    Sad to see Amanda go, she she was growing on me and had a lot of funny lines in this episode. I think it was funny she pretended like she tried that skating thing before.
    Maybe Daniella can take over with the funny comments next episode.

    Comment by SJ — February 3, 2013 @ 2:56 pm

  57. “relashe”? Illiterate much?

    Comment by spellingnazi — February 3, 2013 @ 3:20 pm

  58. @SJ – loved your breakdown. It sounds like you are not alone in your opinion of Catherine, as I read through all the comments…BUT, I still feel like we really don’t know a lot of these girls yet — I feel like there has been a lot of bouncing around, edit wise, but in addition, a lot of the girls aren’t saying anything of much substance. Agree with you also on Amanda. and Daniella will cover, she’s amaze/funny.

    @spellingnazi – you should spend time on people who ACTUALLY don’t know how to spell. I speak in abbreviations, so, if you don’t like it, then read a dictionary instead of my blog.

    Comment by Jaclyn — February 4, 2013 @ 10:31 am

  59. How would anyone know you aren’t one of those “people who actually don’t know how to spell?”. I must have missed the preface, explaining that you prefer to talk/write like an uneducated tween.

    Comment by spellingnazi — February 4, 2013 @ 10:56 am

  60. @spellingnazi – yep, you must have missed it. because i do! take a hike.

    Comment by Jaclyn — February 4, 2013 @ 2:42 pm

  61. Well there you go, you heard it here first folks.

    Comment by spellingnazi — February 4, 2013 @ 3:12 pm

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