Jaclyn’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 8

Episode 8: Sean and his amazing Technicolor skin tones

Before we delve into the hometown dates of Season 17, I highly recommend rewatching the episode and taking note of all the different facial skin tones of the one and only, Sean Lowe. It went from pale, to freckles, back to pale, to red, to orange, to bronzed to powdered. I watch this shit in HD; it’s serious.

AshLee’s Hometown

We start off our hometown dates with AshLee in Texas. Home to many bachelor alums and pageant queens – essentially the same thing.

Nothing says hometown like a tied front flannel, a dog, and a foodless picnic in a random field. We soon learn that AshLee loves to hear herself talk. She states that, “Before I met Sean, I thought I knew what love was.” But, this completely one sided relationship where your love dates 24 other women simultaneously has really opened up her eyes to what she’s always dreamed of. Not only that, but AshLee has been dreaming of this day as far back as she can remember! I’ve tried to dissect this sentence and I am still a little confused. Was it when she started grooming herself to be on the Bachelor 15 years ago? Was it 2 months ago when they started filming? Was it last week when she realized she was making it to hometowns? Either way, this scenario is not typically something you dream of. I am starting to worry that AshLee came on to this show with Sean’s name already tattooed on her ass and a diary full of doodle hearts and “AshLee Lowe” scribbled on repeat.

A couple of side notes:
1) When AshLee narrates, I feel like she is talking to all of America like we don’t understand English. Kind of like how I talk to my cleaning lady or my waiter at China Fun.
2) AshLee LOVES Sean. She’s screamed it on the beach, she’s shown it in the sand, and she has said it 900,000 effing times since.
3) It’s pretty obvious that AshLee thinks that the more she says, “I love you” the more she will guilt Sean into keeping her around for the win.
4) No normal guy with a penis between his legs and a brain the size of a pea would magnetize towards a girl who says she “is. IN. love. with. this. man.” I hope she stops this soon.

We move on to AshLee’s parents house…but wait, Sean and AshLee are greeted outside of the house and then proceed to walk AROUND the house for a backyard lunch. In addition, the table is definitely not outdoor furniture and rather a very indoooooorsy set of table and chairs, and all conversations were had on the outdoor porch. There are seriously only two possible scenarios here: AshLee’s family is a bunch of hoarders, hence the reason why her bottom third reads “Professional Organizer,” or, this is a stranger’s house whose residents went to work for the day (they’ll never know). This was all a little strange to me, but AshLee’s Dad’s hair made up for it. He rocked some sick spikes.

The conversation continues and AshLee relays some details about her dates to her parents. And by some, I mean like 49,032,843,920 minutes worth. She starts crying over her realization for commitment to Sean while she was drowning in a lake in Canada during a P o l a r B e a r P l u n g e (slow talker). Um, am I taking crazy pills?! I mean the line becomes so blurred when I watch this show, that I can’t tell if I am crazy for not crying over a Polar Bear Plunge or if AshLee is crazy for crying over something so insignificant and turning it into a life lesson. Then she tells her parents about the dry humping she did on the beach, and I knew I should have given myself the benefit of the doubt. A serious “where do I look” sitch.

The convo continues to flow and I seriously can’t get past these heavy wooden chairs and table sitting in the middle of this stranger’s backyard. Are they making holes in their grass? ARE THEY GONNA COME HOME FROM WORK?

Anyway, AshLee’s dad is outdoorsy and comes from a family of reverends, masters, pastors, and popes. Sean gets a boner, and then we hear again about AshLee’s family story, and Sean goes flaccid. Ugh, sorry, too easy.

AshLee goes into how she wants to marry Sean. I mean like NOW. As SOON as she can. Then she runs off to go manage her 72 fake Facebook accounts that she has been using to stalk some exes.

Catherine’s Hometown

We arrive in Seattle which is known for its coffee so I am not sure what we are doing watching Sean play football with a fish, duh. I would have rather watched them get cappuccinos with hearts in the foam. Sean likes being with Catherine because he doesn’t have to try to be the “cool guy.” I beg to differ, please try harder.

Catherine’s cute personality makes watching this less painful – and she lets Sean know that he better monong her graham cracker so her family loves him more. Wait…nope, I said that correctly. KINKAAAY.

We arrive at Catherine’s Mom’s house and I haven’t seen this much tapestry, wallpaper, and mustard yellow walls since I watched Boogie Nights.
Sean makes his way around the house with each of Catherine’s family members. He went to the dining room and got a “Welcome to the dining room!” greeting, and then he went to the kitchen where he got a “Welcome to the kitchen!!” greeting. Although, in the kitchen scene he put on a woman’s apron and looked like Strawberry (blonde) Shortcake. Seany so silly!

Catherine’s sisters get on her a little bit while having a private conversation upstairs. One is mad at the other for stealing her breast milk in order to cure her psoriasis. Bitch, could have just asked!

Wrong show.

The sister’s aren’t thrilled about the fact that Catherine has made it this far, and for someone who left 2 months ago thinking this would all be fun and games is now serious about an engagement to a man that is pretty much a stranger to them. Here, here! These chicks are on point. While they were dishing some tough love; that is what sisters do (just ask mine…more so brutal love). They raise valid points, and while Catherine is a little upset by them coming at her, it brings her back down from fairytale Bachelor land to real life where she is a gross mess and has mood swings (I would have killed my sister for that, because that is precisely my description as well).

Anyone notice that the dresser was a complete disaster? This made me laugh because when we filmed my hometown package for Bachelor Pad, my dresser was like collapsed and in shambles with clothes everywhere. Whatever, its REALITY TV, am I right am I right?

Lindsay’s Hometown

Lindsay is an army brat (drink) who is so excited to bring Sean home. Sean is excited because like the other 3 girls left he is “CRAZY” about Lindsay. You know what else Sean loves? WALKING! It really makes him feel like they are a couple. I could have KILLED it on this season. I am a really good walker.

Sean and Lindsay go eat some cupcakes and I can’t help but notice that her hair looks darker. Someone made good use of her time during her hometown layover – plus 10. They have a conversation that lasts way too long about what Sean should call Lindsay’s Dad. At this point I was yelling at the TV, JUST EFFING MAKE ONE UP. JEEEEEEEEESUS. Mister, Mark, General, Sir, Babyface, Ghost Face Killah, Sugar Tits? Like litttttterally…just pick one.

Before we get to the house, Lindsay instructs Sean the needs to get ARMY ready…Come on! Bring your green hat!

Sean prances around the field and Lindsay was doin’ her thang like she unfortunately won’t be doing in the fantasy suite. She has this unassuming confidence that I love. Pretty sure she’s a walking advertisement for Prozac but like, doesn’t need or take it…ja know what I mean? At first I felt awks watching her little army routine, but she really won me over with the sit ups for a kiss and then yelling “KISS ME HARDER” – which in this context makes no sense, but has confirmed that she is definitely a dirty talker. You go Glenn Coco.

After some more references to army brat and wedding dress, Sean speaks with Lindsay’s dad and awkwardly asks for permission to propose. Correct answer? NO. They have a nice convo, and Lindsay’s dad gifts Sean some dog tags. Like the real kind. Not the Gucci ones that Jewish boys in Long Island wear.

Lindsay’s hometown went really well and there is no way she’s not getting a rose this episode.

Des’ Hometown

Des and Sean start things off with a hike, and Sean is really excited to see Des in her element especially because he’s really…outdoorsy. I have no idea what the eff Runyon Canyon is but I know that people go on a lot of hikes there to show off their new Lulu Lemon and post pics on social media in order to look like they work out real hard.

This got me thinking about what the hell I would do on my hometown date to show me in my element. The first thing that came to mind was ordering in mac and cheese and eating it in bed. This is how I DO.

Des brings Sean to her apt and some scrawny turd shows up pretending to be her ex-bf. Forget the lame joke. I wouldn’t be able to get past the fact that the morons who hired this dude thought that he was believable as Des’ ex bf. Give the girl some credit, she’s hot, and this dude is typecast for a hobbit minus the CGI size change. IE NO. Just no. Then the full frame of him standing next to Sean was just painful. Let’s be honest.

We can thank the lifetime wedgie victim for at least bringing out Sean’s angry, badass side. That got me a little hot and bothered. Not gonna lie.

Next comes Des’ family dinner, and I am just gonna cut to the chase. Her brother is fucking awful. Nate, please don’t murder me for saying that. Because seriously, I think I just risked my life.

A couple weeks ago on “Shameless,” Frank (Bill Macey, yaa nickname basis) drugs the baby to shut it up. I probz would have been reduced to doing this if I had a brother like Nate, who not only sounded very unedumacted, but was also 30 seconds away from driving down to Sunset and getting a tear drop face tat. I could also see him pulling a “Fear” and tatooing some effed up shit on his chest with a bic pen. Needless to say, I am now scared for my life but I hope you are all entertained. Keep laughing anonymously, as*holes!

Nate believes that there is no reciprocation, reciprocation, reciprocation with Sean and Des. He’s known Sean for 5 minutes and also is really intuitive so I agree. Especially when he tells Sean’s born again virgin jewels that he is a playboy. Sean’s upset because he is not a fraud. The conversation between the two of them finally ends and Nate goes to check on the meth lab he’s hiding in the basement. (I knew he looked familiar).

PS – Nate, here is your virtual gold star sticker for using reciprocation in a sentence.

Moving along, Des remains pretty composed while her brother continues to piss her off. AMEN SISTAH. I wish I had that self-control. Nate continues to blab at the table, not listen to anyone, and talk nonsense. I was a little surprised to see how little the parents intervened. But with Tierra gone, this was the highlight of the ep for me. (I bet you all missed her this ep, didn’t ya!?)

Rose Ceremony

We are back at the mansion for the Rose Ceremony. Sean prayed for clarity but didn’t get it. RUH ROH. Catherine chose the correct rose ceremony to show off dem twins, and did it in a tasteful way. I loved her dress. I also thought Des looked effortlessly hot in her sequined dress. Thumbs up ladies. Des tries to get one final word in, apologizing for her bro’s attitude, but unfortunately it wasn’t enough, and she gets sent home.

I LOVED Des, and I thought she was adorbs. Her exit was sad and I most definitely teared up which is like, extremely embarrassing, but I also cry during Mob Wives and Vanderpump Rules, so this doesn’t say much.

We are getting pretty ser now, and an engagement is around the corner.

Catherine for the win with Lindsay in a CLOSE second. AshLee may be just a leetle too much for Sean right now — lots of mushy gushy teary stuff.

PS — I must give a shout out to blog readah Rachel. She called it in my Episode 2 comments section RE: Des getting back at Sean with the ex boyf hoax. I wish I could give you a prize but this is going to have to do. Suck it up.

Til next week!
xx
Jac

Twitter/Insta: @JaclynSwartz

121 Comments »

  1. I have been waiting for this blog all day! I knew it would be absolutely hilarious because you would have so much to work with because of Des and her hometown. Needless to say,I laughed my bum of when you started talking about her brother.

    I love AshLee but good lord she just seems so maternal now. I can’t even picture them together. My two favorites have always been Lindsay and Catherine. I go back and forth each week on who I think he likes more. I think it’s a good choice either way. From the beginning I said they were the two girls I could picture hanging out with. I think sean might fit better into Lindsay’s life, but like I said, I think they’re both great. Oh and Lindsay’s hair looked AMAZEBALLS last night. Love the darker color. And that whole “army ready” thing they did I thought she pulled it off well. She doesn’t take herself too seriously.

    I’m goin to miss Des. She’s a sweetheart. Towards the end though she became somewhat annoying. I’m really hoping the next bachelorette will either be Lindsay or Catherine. Fingers crossed!

    Great blog!!

    Comment by Kayla — February 19, 2013 @ 5:54 pm

  2. I just love Catherine… I wish she received more air-time. I feel like her and Sean are the most similar. Lindsay seems to just want a family too much that the guy may not matter. But Catherine has fun and is adorbs, and got to know Sean, and once she did, she invested herself in the relationship which is normal.

    Also, I am glad it’s not just me who thinks AshLee goes on and ON… by the way, I did not realize organizing was a job? But, I mean, to each their own..

    Comment by Ann — February 19, 2013 @ 5:56 pm

  3. uhm my hometown date would be exactly like yours! Mac and cheese in bed with a bottle of wine-the only way youll see me in my element. Your blog is the only bachelor blog that makes me literally LOL and i appreciate the KUWTK reference.

    Comment by Christina — February 19, 2013 @ 6:05 pm

  4. Your blog made my jaw drop and me laugh out loud multiple times! love it! you need your own talk show or reality show!

    Comment by Amber — February 19, 2013 @ 6:37 pm

  5. That’s freekin hilarious, Jax. I wish I had known about this blog earlier. Had to stifle myself from laughing out loud so not to wake up the wife.

    Comment by Erle — February 19, 2013 @ 7:08 pm

  6. Jaclyn you should be the next Bachelorette! If they cast another “sweet and sugary” girl I will not be surprised but I will be so bored! You would breathe a fresh, funny and genuine life into this predictable formula. The Bachelor brass should be modernizing this franchise not staying with the status quo. Just my opinion…

    Comment by Lesley — February 19, 2013 @ 7:20 pm

  7. OMG This is f-ing hilarious!!!!!! Love all of your blogs, but this one takes the cake!

    Comment by Natalie Getz — February 19, 2013 @ 7:35 pm

  8. I want Desiree to be the next Bachelorette, but just don’t include her brother in the show! God, he is awful. I can’t imagine any guy who wants to deal with something that douchetastic. I thought Sean was very well-composed throughout the whole thing. Catherine and Lindsay winning for me, Ashlee is getting way too intense.

    Comment by Paulina — February 19, 2013 @ 7:35 pm

  9. “Lifetime wedgie victim” Hilarious.

    I love your blogs and this one just made my night.

    Comment by Emily S — February 19, 2013 @ 8:51 pm

  10. I literally LOL through this whole blog! I agree with everything. I totally missed the dresser and never going inside at AshLee’s place. Catherine is my fav at this point. Their date was fun & he seems so very different with her, like he said it feels like they have been dating forever. Confused at why he couldn’t choose at RC but still think Des is a great girl! Excited for next 3 episodes! Great blog.

    Comment by Lydia — February 19, 2013 @ 8:56 pm

  11. Ummmmm.. Helllllo you are amaze! I wish I could write the way you do.. I have many similar thoughts I just could never write them like you do. Write a book right now please.

    Agree with you.. Ashlee is cray cray and des’s bro is clearly on meth. WOOF

    Loved the Catfish reference regarding Ashlee. I for sure thought you would mention the part where she talked about this journey being a dream and there should be “ferry dust” in the air. Wowzerssss!

    Thanks for writing and being a true entertainment. I love your style and your whit, you were always my favorite on bachelor and bachelor pad. Continue writing and I will continue to favorite and retweet your tweets.. Cause you are funny as shit.

    Comment by Kailey Hall — February 19, 2013 @ 8:58 pm

  12. Love reading your blog every week. Des was absolutely the sweetest girl, sucks that her brother kind of ruined it for her. Hoping she or Lesley may be the next Bachelorette?

    Comment by Katie — February 19, 2013 @ 9:18 pm

  13. Ok, so I never comment on these blogs but this was BY FAR the funniest blog I have ever read. I was in tears laughing over your comments about Des’s brother! Keep up the great work! Much Love!

    Comment by Julie L. — February 19, 2013 @ 9:38 pm

  14. Jaclyn, this blog just made my entire night! It was your best blog yet! I pretty much laughed ny a$$ off through the whole thing! My tops are AshLee and Lindsay. Also, I agree that Nate was a douchebag.

    Comment by Beth H. — February 19, 2013 @ 9:49 pm

  15. The reference to fear….Loved it. I died of laughter. Great blog post!

    Comment by Trish M. — February 19, 2013 @ 9:55 pm

  16. I want Lesley M. To be the next bachelorette. I love Des but its predictable (beautiful with good body). Lesley is in the politics fields and I live in DC. Peope here are NERDY, they talk about politics all the time. I want to see nerdy girl kisses bunch of guys on TV.

    Comment by kim — February 19, 2013 @ 10:07 pm

  17. Um, a KUWTK and a Fear reference in one Bach blog?! Yes please.

    Comment by Jen — February 19, 2013 @ 10:21 pm

  18. Loving the blog. I’m going to miss Des. If she’s the new bachelorette — which I’m hoping for– she should hire an actor to play her brother
    . The real one is SCAREZEE.

    Comment by grace — February 19, 2013 @ 11:00 pm

  19. “Kind of like how I talk to my cleaning lady or my waiter at China Fun.”

    Ahahahaha! People who speak English as their second language are sooo stupid and obviously everyone should speak slowly to them like they’re 2 years old. That’s also what makes them unworthy of anything but menial labor! Ethnic classism is HILARIOUS.

    Oh wait. It isn’t.

    Comment by Kat — February 20, 2013 @ 12:00 am

  20. BEST BLOG I’VE READ IN AGES JACLYN and usually us Australia’s don’t get American humor…. But dang girl you nailed it haha

    Comment by Lize Judd — February 20, 2013 @ 4:50 am

  21. A first time/last time reader. I know Bachelor has probz dealing with non-white people on the show, didn’t know people on the show had the same issues. This comment by Kat says it all:

    “Kind of like how I talk to my cleaning lady or my waiter at China Fun.”

    Ahahahaha! People who speak English as their second language are sooo stupid and obviously everyone should speak slowly to them like they’re 2 years old. That’s also what makes them unworthy of anything but menial labor! Ethnic classism is HILARIOUS.

    Oh wait. It isn’t.

    Comment by Kat — February 20, 2013 @ 12:00 am

    Comment by anne — February 20, 2013 @ 4:51 am

  22. this is now my favorite blog this season. hilarious. I’m the freak laughing out loud at my desk at work. please do bp4.

    Comment by Andrea — February 20, 2013 @ 4:51 am

  23. Well, as usual, your take on everything was so funny that I will have a hard time waiting for your next blog. The comment that won the prize was the one that said Des should have hired an actor to play her brother.( I’m not sure Nate is all there.) No wonder Des cried whenever she thought about her family. Anyway thanks so much for all the laughs.

    Comment by Bobbie — February 20, 2013 @ 5:10 am

  24. This is amazing – your blog is making the fact that Ashley Spivey isn’t blogging this season bearable.

    Comment by Meredith — February 20, 2013 @ 5:12 am

  25. Right there with ya sista, Catherine for the win. I’ve got ‘trista and ryan’ hope for them. My hometown date? Here’s a bottle of Georgies and a viavia pizza slice. ikidikid. But fo realz, I missed Tierra’s antics and eyebrows. But rumor has it girls happily engaged– her love don’t cost a thang. ((JLO tune)). Okay, Bye jac! xx re-reading this… #ineedalife.

    Comment by Micaela — February 20, 2013 @ 5:14 am

  26. I’m effing obsessed with your blogs – you are hilarious (and sorry to all the Spivey fans, but you way outdo her posts, and I even love her).

    Comment by Sarah — February 20, 2013 @ 6:13 am

  27. You guys are killing me! THANK YOU for all the comments…I’M SO GLAD YOU ALL THINK THIS ONE WAS THE BEST YET!!! Even more importantly, you get the references….

    You guys saying you are laughing out loud while reading this, makes me laugh so thanks for the RECIPROCATION.

    Keep em coming. xox jaclyn

    Comment by Jaclyn — February 20, 2013 @ 6:26 am

  28. Your blog seriously made me LOL…. AshLee scares me. She’s so dramatic and her eyes roll all around in her head! hahaha!!!! Lindsey FTW…although Catherine is super cute.

    Comment by Kristen — February 20, 2013 @ 6:27 am

  29. The statement below doesn’t surprise me. Jaclyn is missing a large dose of classiness, but after watching her on the Bach and BP, I’m not surprised.

    Kind of like how I talk to my cleaning lady or my waiter at China Fun.”

    Won’t read your blog again. Your 15 min. was up months ago.

    Comment by Lisa — February 20, 2013 @ 6:36 am

  30. FYI jac- reality Steve spoiled the des ex boyfriend prank right after the promo aired in the first episode… I’m pretty sure Rachel just repeated the spoiler…

    Comment by Cora — February 20, 2013 @ 6:46 am

  31. @Lisa – haha, I can live with that!

    @Cora – I don’t read spoilers! I try to play by the rules/be unbiased in my blog. If I read spoilers it would DEFINITELY affect my opinions while I write/watch. :)

    Comment by Jaclyn — February 20, 2013 @ 6:58 am

  32. I have to say, I actually look forward to these posts a little more than I do the episodes. You should pull a Kacie B. (love her) and get back onto next season of Bachelor. I trust you to keep it in perspective and entertain all.

    Comment by Elissa — February 20, 2013 @ 7:21 am

  33. Our brains were clearly on the same wavelength while watching this episode because I was thinking almost exactly the same thoughts about all the girls. Great blog, as always!

    Comment by Deanna — February 20, 2013 @ 7:41 am

  34. Ahahaha — Four for you, Glen Coco! Love all your references.

    I also appreciate that there are blogs like yours (and Natalie’s, and formerly Spivey’s) which are honest and hilarious. If we all wanted sappy-sweet or plain vanilla blogs, we could read some other (to be unnamed) bloggers who are obviously treading lightly so as not to offend a single soul, especially the higher-ups in Bachelor Kingdom. No one wants to read a politically correct play-by-play of what we just saw. Thanks! :)

    Comment by Deni — February 20, 2013 @ 7:49 am

  35. I’m with you Lisa. Ha ha. Good comment. Won’t be back to read this!

    Comment by jan — February 20, 2013 @ 7:57 am

  36. The reason we did not see the inside of AshLee’s home may have something to do with her dad being a pastor. If the home is owned by the church he pastors (which is often the case), keeping cameras out of the home may have been out of respect for members of his church who may do not approve of AshLee’s quest to find love. Just a thought!

    Comment by H82BL8 — February 20, 2013 @ 8:00 am

  37. Love, love, love you! You always make me laugh. Was excited to see a tweet of yours pop up on the show last night! Your blog is better then the show!

    Comment by Claudia — February 20, 2013 @ 8:04 am

  38. I’m going to have to agree, your best and funniest blog of the season! I love your snark and honesty! I’m stifling my laughter in my office!

    To all those that don’t get your humor…don’t let the door hit ya on the way out!

    I’m now Team Lindsay!

    Comment by Michelle — February 20, 2013 @ 8:29 am

  39. You outdid yourself on this one. Hil.ar.i.ous!!!

    Comment by Elizabeth — February 20, 2013 @ 8:42 am

  40. If you want some truly good blogs from people who aren’t z-list Bach has-beens, check out RS, Jen Frase and Jen Marcus. The writing is better and you don’t have to put up with these little girls who go on a reality show and think they’re D-listers insteas of Z! You get honest, funny writing. I guess I just can’t stand mean people, and Jaclyn falls into that category.

    Comment by jessie — February 20, 2013 @ 9:16 am

  41. @Jessie – Z list is better than no list. Good day.

    Comment by Jaclyn — February 20, 2013 @ 9:25 am

  42. Thanks for the shout out! Agree with the smart people who’ve commented above, this was a great post & I love the honesty. I’m ready for Lindsay & her baby talk to kick it, which leaves me Team Catherine.

    Next prediction: Will the letter Sean reads in the finale be a final plea from Des?

    Comment by Rachel @ Raves + Revelations — February 20, 2013 @ 9:38 am

  43. ” They have a nice convo, and Lindsay’s dad gifts Sean some dog tags. Like the real kind. Not the Gucci ones that Jewish boys in Long Island wear.” Dying over this. This blog is too funny

    Comment by Elise — February 20, 2013 @ 9:42 am

  44. “They have a nice convo, and Lindsay’s dad gifts Sean some dog tags. Like the real kind. Not the Gucci ones that Jewish boys in Long Island wear.”

    #DEAD

    Comment by halli — February 20, 2013 @ 9:53 am

  45. Love your blog. You’re sassy and humorous and are brave enough to print what we all at home are already thinking.

    I think you’re spot on about AshLee, girlfriend lost it on the way back to Texas. The polar bear plunge story killed me: “I was baptized in Sean’s love. The cold water was a spiritual awakening.” Blah Blah Blah Barf. Also, her comment about wanting to get married right away, let’s rewind 15 years. I’m sure 17 year old AshLee said the same thing, and look how that turned out. Something is off when you hear whispers in the wind that change your life but you don’t learn from real life mistakes. Chickadee needs to take a chill pill (xanax) and stop taking her horoscope/psychic so seriously.

    Lindsay’s baby voice dirty talk also made me extremely uncomfortable. She talks to Sean like a puppy she wants to hug just a little too tight.

    My fave left is definitely Catherine. I love that she said she wasn’t going into this with blinders on and thinking she was a magic princess. She is actually a real person and not a total boner kill with her obsessive “SOMEONE LOVE ME” talk. Also her hair is to dye for (puns ha).

    Keep the laughs coming. Stalk you later.

    Comment by Sierra (not to be confused with Tierra) — February 20, 2013 @ 9:58 am

  46. I’m most def in the “LOL at my desk at work” club!! By far your best work!!! I hope your professional job includes writing bc u OWN it!

    I really like everyone that is left but totes agree on Ashlee being next out. I’m Team Catherine bc watching Lindsay’s date made me sooo uncomfortable!! Yikes!

    My hometown date would be my dad making inapprop jokes while my mom ordered pizza… I have a bro and he wouldn’t even know what the Bach is so if he had questions for Sean he’d say “soooo I hear u like football. Me too”

    Keep the blogs coming!! Also- you’d be THE BEST BACHELORETTE! Team Jacyln ! Haha xo

    Lindsay

    Comment by Lindsay — February 20, 2013 @ 9:59 am

  47. Have we all forgotten Des grew up in a tent? She seriously got the best genes out of that bunch. Tent to that apartment?! Chica is doing gooooood. As she even said in a tweet she’s not that close to her brother. Hottie is gonna be fine.

    I have to say I do love that the girls this season don’t come from well to do families and that they haven’t broken their banks trying to fix up their houses for tv. “F” that ABC we aren’t gonna blow our retirement on new furniture. You bitches can pull our table outside and we’ll fake eat out there!

    Comment by Kirsten — February 20, 2013 @ 10:04 am

  48. Ha not only does Jac make me laugh on all the blogs, but now I’m laughing because mean people keep thinking that Jaclyn actually cares what you think of her. Gahhh ( sorry had to get that out)

    Yes, Ashlee is a little obsessive and over the top, however, I feel like her and Sean have the same values and morals. While Catherine, I love, but she just seems in a different spot than Sean, I don’t see her as a mom any time soon but I love her personality. And Lindsay I can’t stand, she’s so annoying and seems like that girl who repeats what other girls say like 1 min after they say it, so annoying! So I’m not too excited about any of these girls at all :(

    Awesome blog again Jac

    Comment by Jaclyn — February 20, 2013 @ 10:30 am

  49. AshLee’s father said on his twitter that they used a friends home for the hometown taping. Could be a privacy thing, or could be that their home wasn’t big enough to accommodate the large crew.
    I enjoy your sass, and your willingness to admit that your hometown date would actually be like the rest of our lives! (Mine would involve catching up on my DVR and asking my date if he could babysit while I went and got a pedi, but I digress…) However, I feel like you come very close to bullying, and that makes me sad. :-( I think the balance of funny, and respect can be found, if you’re willing to put a little effort in.

    Comment by James — February 20, 2013 @ 10:48 am

  50. You are a total hoot. I laugh out loud when I read your blog. Who do you think will be the next bachelorette? Also do you think Tierra will be on bachelor pad?? I was in love with DES but thought her workout outfit made her look bottom heavy and weird when she usually looks sp beautiful and polished!

    Comment by Sosh — February 20, 2013 @ 11:22 am

  51. Love your blog. I just think Catherine can be a b**** and even my husband said the same thing (yes…he watches it too!) and she’s not for Sean. I loved Lesley and also like Lindsay for him. Keep the laughs coming!

    Comment by Sue — February 20, 2013 @ 12:55 pm

  52. @Jaclyn-NO LIST is definitely better than Z-LIST because you still have a chance on getting on the A through D list. Z-LIST which is where all the Bachelor alums reside, is the worst to be on because it ensures none of you will EVER get above Z-LIST as you are considered the bottom of the barrel and not respected by anyone in the lists that matter. I think you are very funny and I loved this sarcastic blog. I just respect your sarcastic and obvious intelligence a little too much to pretend otherwise. Once you go reality TV, especially this show, you will never join the ranks of real celebs. Like Elan and the girl who is using him right now, you can only hope to kiss up to a few of them whose careers aren’t doing well and have nothing else to do. All the best! Love, HonestGirl

    Comment by Honest — February 20, 2013 @ 1:00 pm

  53. Dear HonestGirl,
    You must love us fake celebs then because you obvs love the show!
    Thanks for your support.
    Jaclyn

    Comment by Jaclyn — February 20, 2013 @ 1:29 pm

  54. Jaclyn, Your blog is the best. You say the truth about this show as much as it is possible to know with all the fakeness going on. DES grew up with gypsy parents and is trying to impress us with fake diplomas on the wall in the dining room. Begging Sean to keep her was awful and I was embaressed for her. Since someone had to go, did she want him to return to the RC room and tell the other girls that he had changed his mind and he was sending AshLee home instead? Actually, I would have liked that since I think she is by far the worst phoney there.

    Comment by Spencer Clarkson — February 20, 2013 @ 1:43 pm

  55. Honest?

    I agree that most on this show are wannabe celebs, but success depends on how well the contestants leverage the opportunity. Dr. Travis Stork has his own MD show; Jillian has her own fashion/design show. Ali has a show. Wes Hayden has more publicity than he would have acquired otherwise for his music. Elizabeth Hasselbeck is now a respected conservative “journalist” even though she was a contestant on Survivor. Melissa Rycroft became a successful journalist at the network level right off the show.

    Seriously…these people have an easier time than those who work their way up the ranks and pay their dues. Imagine those people who aspired to be broadcasters from a young age and rose up the ranks going from market to market, living in crappy, rat infested apartments on their journey to fame to have some reality star get an instant national network gig! Infuriating, but it happens.

    The success of these contestants depends upon what they do with the opportunity and how talented they are. Jaclyn clearly has star quality. I can see her hosting an entertainment show and being great fun to watch.

    Just being on TV makes these people celebrities even if their fame is just a flash in the pan.

    Comment by To Honest — February 20, 2013 @ 2:09 pm

  56. I’ve watched and enjoyed all the shows but don’t remember who Jaclyn is. I didn’t think anything here was laugh out loud funny and was very surprised about the line about “my cleaning lady” and eatery staff. Very outdated. And hopefully you can find a decent and honest job like your cleaning lady has then someone can judge your English and writing skills which are poor.

    Comment by jane — February 20, 2013 @ 3:27 pm

  57. Sorry she is such a loser. Why always making fun of Sean? Who is she anyway to even have a blog? She was so mean to Shawntel and she thinks she is so important. I think all of the girls in her NY circle think they are celebrities. None of them made it even half way through their seasons. Most didn’t make it a few episodes. If I were Sean I wouldn’t give this girl the time of day. To top it off she hooked up with Ed. ED. This guy is such a joke. Glad she feels important now that everyone is saying her blog is wonderful. Obviously kiss up to everyone . I read this for the first time and it will be the last.

    Comment by Becca — February 20, 2013 @ 3:29 pm

  58. Best Blog ever!

    Comment by Brandy — February 20, 2013 @ 4:27 pm

  59. If Catherine refers to Sean as “beef” one more time I’m gonna puke.

    Comment by Cathleen — February 20, 2013 @ 4:29 pm

  60. When I read your blogs, I totally picture you saying these things, which makes it even more hilarious!

    Catherine is my favorite. I like Lindsay, but the baby talk is driving me crazy. AshLee is very sweet, but seems WAY TOO INTENSE.

    This was definitely my favorite blog so far. Keep it up!!

    Comment by Olive — February 20, 2013 @ 4:51 pm

  61. I’m waiting impatiently for Chris B’s blog so I can make fun of him. Hopefully he will include a comments section this time.

    Comment by Cindy — February 20, 2013 @ 5:44 pm

  62. To Becca and Jane:

    I agree. Most who appear on this show leave A LOT to be desired. However, I think Jac is the exception to the rule. She is smart and sassy and trying to make the blog fun to read. I’m sure she is perfectly literate. She is just speaking in street lingo to have street cred….kind of like how people used to say, “dude” and “fer sure” and other stupidity at one time. Those same people are probably working on Wall Street and have perfected their elocution. I can totally see Jac having a high powered job at some point.

    I never got the impression that Jac thinks she is important. She is confident and smart..and even though she is not conventionally attractive, she is very pretty, uniquely so.

    I remember her from the Bachelor Pad…not Bachelor…She nearly carried the show…and was someone who was honest, a true friend, and displayed integrity.

    Yes, she was just a contestant on a stupid show, but good for her to build her platform by blogging. Wouldn’t you take the opportunity to get your name out there too? Fleiss doesn’t invite contestants to blog because they are important but to stick another nail in Reality Steve’s coffin and pull traffic from his site.

    I am a little older than Jac..and wish I had her confidence at her age. I think Jac will go far…She has drive, ambition, smarts, integrity, and a lot of personal charisma. Ed really liked her too…He can’t help the fact he’s a womanizing douche, though, unlike Chris B, Ed actually is well educated, has a great career, and is somewhat lovable and endearing. She could have better taste in men…but she will learn. Can any of us say we haven’t dated a few men we have regretted? That’s part of the journey to finding the one.

    Comment by Cindy — February 20, 2013 @ 6:32 pm

  63. How bout them sox?

    Comment by Jaclyn — February 20, 2013 @ 9:18 pm

  64. Love the Kardashian reference! Bitch, could have just asked!

    Comment by Maria — February 20, 2013 @ 9:37 pm

  65. @Cindy and @To Honest (AKA, Elan or some other asst “producer/gofer” who takes this Bach show way too seriously)-Elizabeth was on Survivor where the contestants are not ridiculed the way Bach contestants are. They don’t go on some show with the silly premise of marrying a guy you barely get to spend time with or get to know. Melissa Rycroft and Jillian are exceptions and this show is not the reason they’re famous. If you can only mention 2-4 people from this show who have gone on to small to barely existent shows with low ratings (Jillian’s was cancelled and now she’s slumming it in Canada) then you just proved me right. How many contestants have been on your franchise overall? Now compare that to the few names you mention and the only one on a highly rated show is from Survivor; not The Bachelor?

    Lol, score a another one for backing my point for me. Thanks! You are a real fan of Jaclyn’s so I highly recommend you asking her out when that goofy wannabe shows her true colors to you. I hope it all works out for you but in the real world, if you take the same number of people who have been on this silly show, all vying for a broadcasting job, then I think you’ll find the same tiny number you mentioned would make it to a decent position within that career. Sorry, but Bachelor contestants, overall, never get to be celebrities. Please, move to Hollywood and ask a REAL celeb their opinion of anyone who has been on this show. Let me give you the short answer-eyeroll. No words; just an eyeroll.

    @Jaclyn-Sorry to disappoint but this is the first time I’ve read your recap and just got caught up on this season. The reason I watch the show is that there is nothing else to watch that compares to it. When I say “compares”, I mean nothing else brain numbing enough. Mondays are the most stressful workdays so I watch what I call brainless tv; aka, reality tv. I think the show can be entertaining but I think that has everything to do with a talented production staff and crew. The ratings get lower every year (I’m guessing) because they insist on casting very bland and boring people on their show and people are bored seeing them. They had to cast a girl with a missing arm which borders on being a tad bit desperate.

    Please know that this is not personal. I agree with the people who find you witty and funny. I think the same of you and think you are one of the few exceptions to the rule of thumb which is not very intelligent or interesting women. My money is not on you ever getting an entertainment show to host (seriously? what are you all smoking that you honestly think these blogs will lead to that?) but I would not be at all surprised to find you being successful at something. You seem very witty and intelligent.

    PS. Seriously? Wes who? Cindy, Elan, or whoever-Wes NEVER made it in music. I like country music and I know for a fact he had some silly song that I don’t remember and never made it in the music industry. Gosh, I’m embarrassed for you even bringing him up. All the best! Please, assistant gofer/producers, stop replying for Jaclyn. She does just fine on her own. That Sox comment is so much better than your annoyingly lengthy comment with your overuse of big vocabulary words. PLEASE, put down your thesaurus, walk away slowly, and grab yourself a nice drink. You need one. Jaclyn-if you prove me wrong and get a show someday, I will have one in your honor. I’m not a fan of you noncelebs but I do like you in this blog.
    Take Care, Honestgirl

    Comment by Honest — February 20, 2013 @ 10:38 pm

  66. ED???? The guy who badly needs rehab and just wasn’t into her? Give me a break.

    Jaclyn is a mean little girl who some people will like, and some will stay far away from. I certainly wouldn’t want my son or daughter to call her a friend. My kids have NICE people as friends. They don’t act like witches and oh so (they think) witty people who get a kick out of putting down others. That’s, quite frankly, called low self-esteem. I suspect Jaclyn is hiding a really bad case of that!

    Comment by kristina — February 21, 2013 @ 5:53 am

  67. One more thing…than I’m sticking with Reality Steve, Jen Frase and Jen Marcus, the three best bloggers for the show. They don’t fall back on the 15 min. famewhore syndrome, as they’re witty, fun and if they’re mean, it’s not done like a mean girl wannabe.

    Comment by kristina — February 21, 2013 @ 5:54 am

  68. And Stag…the only ex-Bach who is enjoyable to read.

    Comment by kristina — February 21, 2013 @ 5:55 am

  69. Honest,

    You seriously need psychiatric help. What a negative, gloomy person you are and obviously frustrated person. You need to “numb” your mind, or tune out your life Monday? I don’t NEED to watch this show. I fast forward it, if that. Usually have it on background while I am doing other things. ‘

    Contrary to what you said, Bach ratings continue to go through the roof. Sean’s season is the most popular ever.

    Clearly you are jealous of these contestants. Yes, they are celebrities, meaning they have national name recognition, which carries clout. These contestants are invited to appear on TV shows across the country.

    Did I ever say Wes was a star? His music sucks. But he is selling far more records now than he ever would have had he not appeared on his show. Where he is in Texas, Wes is a small town celebrity.

    Why do you have a need to bash these contestants? Yes, they are ridiculous. So what. What business is it of yours whether they appear on this show or not. Many want to have fun, get national TV exposure, whatever.

    I have no idea of whether Jillian is slumming it nor do I care. She is talked about and makes the cover of gossip magazines. Whatever these contestants do makes news…gossip rags, whatever…their bar brawls, love lives, everything because people follow their lives because they are famous.

    Sorry you resent them for being famous. Do I admire them? No. Did Jac ever insinuate she would get her own show because she blogs? What not blog? We all make fun of this show because it is ridiculous.

    Seriously seek help. I wrote my OPINION and instead come here to see ad hominen attacks. (Look it up since you criticize my vocabulary.)

    Seriously, you are a messed up person. You complain about how much a wrote, and yet you wrote a novel yourself. You call me a gofer (I actually run my own company.) and yet complain that my vocabulary is too big. You place yourself as intellectually superior to reality star candidates and complain about their poor command of th4e English language and then complain my words are too big for you to understand.

    All you do is whine, whine, whine, whine. Does anything make you happy or do you sit around whining about kvetching (there’s another word for you to look up) about everything. I can guarantee you, someone with your attitude is not successful in life and I am absolutely sure you colleagues despise you. Explains why you have to zone out on Monday nights watching this show (yeah, that;s a great excuse. Maybe you should do something constructive of volunteer your time or have friends over for drinks….Oh yea, what friends?) You watch the show because you HATE it…and then come on boards and attack people.

    OK Then.

    Wow, what a loser.

    Comment by Cindy — February 21, 2013 @ 6:56 am

  70. As for Jillian…I was never among those who admired her. She has great style…and thanks to Jillian, I am a dedicated Anthropologie shopper.

    Who knows if she is slumming it. As far as I can tell, she had a successful design business before and has one now. She’s young. Were you at the pinnacle of your career at her age? She is just starting out in life. Give her a break.

    Sorry, whether you like it or not, this show is an international, multi-billion dollar franchise. People watch it ALL OVER THE WORLD. Plus, there are knock of shows, for which Fleiss owns the rights, in a number of countries. In order to get those rights, Fleiss would have to have relationships and established support from those government, which translates into power.

    Fleiss’ sister, Heidi, is a madam for the stars – that is, she supplies women and men to huge stars. Yes, she is involved is the skin trade (as is this show),but that means Fleiss has access to the BIGGEST NAMES IN HOLLYWOOD.

    Yes, these people are sleazy and I would never appear on this show. But make no mistake, these contestants, if they are smart, savvy, and have talent can leverage their appearance on this show into great things.

    Sorry, if this is too much for you to read. I will go back to my gofer job of running my own business and you can go back to numbing your mind on reality TV. Clearly you are a person who needs to escape reality, which explains why you are such a bitter, nasty, jealous person and failure in life who is jealous of reality TV stars.

    I wish Jac every success…

    Comment by Cindy — February 21, 2013 @ 7:07 am

  71. @Honest

    I usually don’t weigh in on these things, but fighting about whether Z-list is better than D-list is like fighting over whether you’re colder because it’s 3 degrees where you are and it’s 11 degrees where your friends are.

    Both of you are cold.

    Extreme Makeover wasn’t a “small to non-existent show with no ratings.” It ran for 9 seasons, won two Emmys and went out with more than 5-million viewers weekly. That’s hardly a small show. Love it or List it is one of HGTV’s flagship shows – and Jillian’s starring in the Canadian edition. Not because she’s “slumming” but because SHE’S CANADIAN.

    People on Survivor are ridiculed every bit as much as those on the Bachelor. Richard Hatch is a laughingstock; Boston Rob would go to the opening of an envelope. And Elisabeth Hasselbeck may be on the View, but she’s also one of the most polarizing personalities in the media.

    If you want to call someone a loser because she appeared on a dating show, that’s your prerogative. But to jump from a past contestant sharing her opinions on the show’s official website to thinking she trying to catapult her career in Hollywood is like thinking that someone who does the Avon walk for breast cancer is striving for the Olympics.

    Maybe she’s just having fun sharing her opinion, getting a little attention, and riling up people like you. (Mission accomplished.)

    Frankly, it’s far more telling about your character that you admit to watching a show you so vehemently hate, research and follow the lives of the people behind the scenes (i.e. Why do you even know who Elan is?) and then taking the time to post (and respond) on the official Bachelor website?

    I mean, who does that?

    Comment by Also Honest — February 21, 2013 @ 7:51 am

  72. I think “Honest” is probably Jaclyn’s mom.

    Comment by Possessionista — February 21, 2013 @ 8:04 am

  73. Also honest, do you want to go out and have the best time ever and not be losers together this weekend?

    Comment by Jaclyn — February 21, 2013 @ 8:05 am

  74. @Honest – Apparently you aren’t on twitter because a lot of celebrities do watch The Bachelor and enjoy it. To name a few: Lucy Hale, Jennifer Weiner, Eric Stonestreet, and Kaley Cuoco. In terms of Jillian Harris, you have it wrong. Jillian is on a new show in Canada now called “Love It or List It” and she is still in the design business. She is working on a nursery for Molly Mesnick’s baby. So no, she is not slumming it. @Cindy and Also Honest- I agree with you two 100%. P.S. I am pretty sure Elan doesn’t spend his time writing comments on these blogs. If he did, you’d be able to tell because they’d be hilarious and incredibly sarcastic.

    Comment by Beth H. — February 21, 2013 @ 10:33 am

  75. You know you have a successful blog when your words on a computer screen stir up 74 comments worth of controversy. Make that 75. Well done, Jac!

    Comment by Sarah — February 21, 2013 @ 11:21 am

  76. Love you Jaclyn! You crack me up.

    Comment by Inga — February 21, 2013 @ 11:23 am

  77. Hilarious as usually Jaclyn! I enjoy reading your blog a lot. Most entertaining was all with at Des’ brother. I’ll keep laughing of him anonymously for sure! ;)

    Ashlee – You put it so well, the way she talks – what you said. I just don’t see her and Sean at all, maybe it’s the editing, but it’s always something emotional or lovey-dovey, and when she tries to be funny she screams and it comes off all unnatural.

    Catherine – I liked the girl from the beginning, looks like she is realistic and reflected. All good qualities, but from what her sisters said about her to Sean I’d see it as a warningflag if I was him: She’s always fun in the beginning and charms all the guys then she get tired of them and high maintenance and all about herself and they’ll have to be all about her too. That’s what I got from their comments. But at least her whole family seems honest. She’d definitely be the boss in a relatonship. That’s cool and I respect it. She would definitely keep Sean on his toes, but I can’t see him calling her out.

    I like Lindsay more and more. She seems like a lot of fun! I thought she came across as fake in the sense that she is trying too hard from the beginning, but I see a natural chemistry between her and Sean. They appear to have the most fun together.

    Desiree – she’s beautiful, but I feel we never saw the real her. I’m saying that cuz she barely even dared to be mad at her brother. That girl is smart and aware that she’s on tv at all times. And like I said she always said “all the perfect things” to Sean. I like a girl who isn’t afraid to flaunt her insecurities and say “Hey, this is me too, I’m not perfect, but hopefully you’ll like my weird, quirqy side”. She always said she wants a guy who doesn’t pretend to be something he’s not, yet I feel like she does that exact thing. Then again I don’t know her and I could be completely wrong.

    And reading some of the comments here, LOL people instead of arguing about how big of celebrities Bach people are/are not, how about sharing what are y’all opinions about this episode/the girls?

    P.S. I wonder if Sean would ever marry a girl that’s not Christian. Could he even fall in love with an Atheist? Doubt it. And I’m sure Selma’s muslim background is a part of why he realized she’s not for him.
    I was wondering if Catherine might not be with her Filipino background, but seeing that huge cross in the living room and that she is top 3, I guess she must be too!

    Comment by SJ — February 21, 2013 @ 11:35 am

  78. LMAO “Des should have hired an actor to play her brother instead of jealous ex bf!” great comment, fun blog!! Thank you for putting so much into it!!!

    Comment by Vanessa — February 21, 2013 @ 1:51 pm

  79. Your blog is getting meaner. Must be your new “friends” in NYC — “friends” who want to ride on your 15 minutes because theirs is long gone. Hope you can pull back and be true to yourself.

    Comment by Ashley2 — February 21, 2013 @ 7:17 pm

  80. Wowza, dis blogsta iz amaze n I get it & keep itz realz LMAO

    Comment by Stella — February 21, 2013 @ 7:22 pm

  81. Yikes! LOL, I guess the truth hurts. :/ Sorry I won’t pretend you’re celebrities. Saying the director has power in other countries spells major delusion. Seriously? You people are really crazy! LOL. Jillian is slumming it in Canada because she is not wanted on any U.S. shows. She has no choice and not even the gossip rags will cover these wannabes; only the Bachelor or Bachelorette of the moment. I know a few people who write for them and they make fun of the wannabe celebs from this show. It’s actually a running joke among them. Sorry to burst your crazy bubbles. But if it makes you all feel better-pretend I hate the show simply because I recognize it’s brainless tv. @Cindy-clearly I hit the nail on the head with you. I like Jaclyn’s wit here so I’ll leave it at that. LOL, I’m sorry. The fact that you all got this worked up over my not being a “fan” is one of the most insane and kind of creepily funny things I’ve read all week. LOLOLOL, O…M….G @Beth H.-I just know you’re going to end up on that show Catfish. LOL, bye all. Thanks for the laughs. Keep pretending you’re celebs. I would tell my friends about this but they prob won’t have a clue who you are. LOL.

    Comment by Honest — February 22, 2013 @ 2:21 am

  82. Good blogs are reality steve, rocket shoes and Ali … used to add Jacylyn to that list … but she’s lost her sparkle. Lesson 101 – dissing people is the lowest form of humor and anyone can do that. It takes genuine talent to be funny instead of just putting people down or throwing around steroptypes. You’re going to get all the crazies now because you’ve hit lowest common denominator. As for whoever said a lot of comments and controversy is good – Lesson 101A – has controversy helped anyone else on this site? Nope, they are still a nobody.

    Comment by Guru — February 22, 2013 @ 6:17 am

  83. I am sorry for all these awful posts. I forgot to take my meds.

    Comment by Honest — February 22, 2013 @ 6:29 am

  84. @Honest- OMG. LMFAO. I am not even going to bother defending myself. I have already told you on every blog that I am not Catfishing anyone nor will I ever. Please remember to take your medicine before writing on here.

    Comment by Beth H. — February 22, 2013 @ 8:06 am

  85. @Guru – my blog is not meant to please everyone in america, so if you aren’t into it that’s ok…and I don’t take offense. Also, no one is forcing you to read this, soooo….yea, that’s all.

    @Beth H – you and @Honest are killing! Thanks for the entertainment! xo

    Comment by Jaclyn — February 22, 2013 @ 9:01 am

  86. Hehe. I am glad I am entertaining you Jax, but I am also sorry for spamming your blog. Whoever this “honest” is keeps telling me on every blog that I am going to end up on “Catfish” and it is getting annoying. That’s all :)

    Comment by Beth H. — February 22, 2013 @ 10:13 am

  87. Beth — I got yo back!

    Comment by Jaclyn — February 22, 2013 @ 10:34 am

  88. If you’re so “honest” why don’t you use your full name? It’s not that “honest” to hide behind an alias.

    Comment by Possessionista — February 22, 2013 @ 11:42 am

  89. If you’re so “honest” why don’t you use your full name? It’s easy to be “honest” when you’re hiding behind an alias.

    Comment by Possessionista — February 22, 2013 @ 11:43 am

  90. Why look at who is trying to mess up someone else’s blog. You have Honest right on your own blog, am I riiiiiiiiiight?

    Comment by Honestly — February 22, 2013 @ 12:10 pm

  91. JAC….

    I literally laughed my butt off through this entire blog… freaking hilarious.
    “Her brother is fucking awful. Nate, please don’t murder me for saying that. Because seriously, I think I just risked my life.”
    DYING.LAUGHING.

    Seriously… if you havent already thought about this or had 100 people tell you already… YOU have such a brilliant way with words that you NEED TO WRITE A BOOK. Do it. Seriously.

    Ok, well I’m off to ride my kangaroo to work. :)

    Lucy in Oz…

    Comment by Lucy in Australia — February 22, 2013 @ 1:37 pm

  92. @Honest you are friggin hilarious. I read your comments on Michael’s blog and you were right. One of them came back and posted here using your name with a fake comment “Sorry for the awful posts. I forgot to take my meds” You can tell it wasn’t you as it was posted hours after your comments. They needing to post using your name is a whole new level of sad since they can’t just stand up to you as themselves.

    Thank you @Honest and @Guru! For saying what all of us viewers and readers are thinking. You clearly got to these people. You are long gone and they’re still talking about you.

    I never realized Bach alum were delusional enough to think they could be celebs. Now Jaclyn started some lame blog and she thinks people will care. I think she really believes she will have her own show someday. You can tell she makes up fake profiles and leaves comments on her own blogs saying she should get her own show. Lol is right!

    @Honest I’m sorry you won’t leave anymore comments. They were one of the few genuinely funny things I have read on these lame blogs. I too wish you would use your real name.

    Comment by Andy D — February 22, 2013 @ 4:17 pm

  93. @Possesionista how lame that you actually use a funny comment made by @Honest as material for your Twitter. She mentions the show Catfish jokingly in all her comments on everyone’s blogs here and you steal her joke to pass it off as your own. I guess you’re just another Ash Spivey stealing everyone else’s material. A sure sign of a bad writer is unoriginality. No wonder you’re stuck in Bachelor world.

    Comment by Andy D — February 22, 2013 @ 4:26 pm

  94. Finally! Someone calls out this insane Beth H person and these celebrity wannabes. Too funny!

    Comment by Melissa Horton — February 22, 2013 @ 4:34 pm

  95. @Melissa Horton- I am not insane, thank you very much. And nobody actually called me out, “Honest” is just giving me a hard time and posting on all the blogs that they think I am going to end up on “Catfish” ( I am not). I haven’t done anything wrong except leave nice comments for the bloggers and stick up for myself, so there isn’t anything to call me out for. I don’t think of the Bachelor(ette) alums as famous, but they’re still real people. I am sorry that my need to be on the defense not only of myself but also of the bloggers and other commenters bothers you as that’s not my intention. Growing up I was picked on a lot and I had to learn how to stick up for myself. No one ever stood up for me. That’s why I still defend myself today and why I try to defend others. That’s all. If you want to see that I am a real person and that I am who I say I am, my twitter is @bethholler. Have a great weekend.

    Comment by Beth H. — February 22, 2013 @ 5:14 pm

  96. I am absolutely loving your blog. You are hilarious! Defs the best bachelor blogger yet. :)

    Comment by Paulina — February 22, 2013 @ 6:00 pm

  97. @Beth H sorry for calling you insane. I still like how @Honest reminded the Bachelor bloggers that none of us consider them celebrities. Take Care.

    Comment by Melissa Horton — February 22, 2013 @ 6:22 pm

  98. @Guru, great comments. Couldn’t agree more.

    Comment by Sarah Whitney — February 22, 2013 @ 6:43 pm

  99. @Melissa Horton- Apology accepted. I’d just like to say that I read what I wrote to you again and I realized it sounded a little harsh. I had a crappy day. I still stand by what I said about why I am on the defense a lot. Okay, well I am going to get off of these blogs until the new ones come out next week.

    Comment by Beth H. — February 22, 2013 @ 6:59 pm

  100. Can someone please assure me that no lawns were hurt in the making of this episode?!

    Comment by Debbie — February 23, 2013 @ 2:33 pm

  101. Are these contestants celebrities? Yes and no.

    They do have face and name recognition and people like to see what they get up to out of human curiosity…just like you would your classmates since we come to know them through the intimate medium of television.

    However, do we take them seriously? No. Sorry to say, most laugh at the contestants on this show. We see them desperately trying to get love. Really, this show requires little talent beyond being picked by the lead, unlike Survivor, where you must use your wits.

    On this show, you sit around boozing, gossiping about your rival contestants, and waiting for dates while professing your love for a complete stranger.

    Barring rare talent, for these contestants to think they are on par with talented people in the eye is laughable. They should not waste time on this show or its franchise. Imagine having lost years of your life making the rounds in BAchelor land, going to the parties, living in gossip mags, etc….

    By the end, people don’t respect you or think you are talented. They kind of laugh at you as if you were a court jester, designed to entertain or pathetic attention seeker like Tom Arnold.

    Imagine a lot of them wind up with the Monica Lewinsky curse, and find that their job prospects tank, no one takes them seriously and that their reputations are ruined. IN some cases, they can leverage their participation on this show for business opportunities, publicity, etc,. but If they were seeking those things, surely there are better ways to go about it than appearing on this silly train wreck of a show.

    The contestants should neither take this show or its alleged opportunities seriously but should appear, and get off and on with their life as soon as possible. Nothing more than a pathetic has been still trying to keep name in lights through their affiliation with this silly show.

    Comment by Celebs — February 24, 2013 @ 5:29 am

  102. @Celebs Well written and extremely well said. Thank you! My thoughts exactly!

    Comment by Andy D — February 24, 2013 @ 9:32 am

  103. Hi

    Comment by Andrew Johnson — February 25, 2013 @ 6:16 pm

  104. Yolo

    Comment by Andrew Johnson — February 25, 2013 @ 6:17 pm

  105. I think you’re too well-spoken, witty and talented to be part of the bachelor establishment. Seriously, miles from any other blog. Producers to you and Leslie Murphy “Get off the show! You’re both too intelligent! Combined with being gorgeous it’s totally throwing the viewers off.” <3 thanks for the great laughs

    Comment by Sarah — February 25, 2013 @ 10:46 pm

  106. @andrew – yolo

    @sarah — so sweet! thanks gurrrl!!

    Comment by Jaclyn — February 26, 2013 @ 6:56 am

  107. Susan you are a fake – what a self-serving message – you are a bach wannabe or friend of the bloggers

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