Marissa May: An Insiders’ Look at Episode 3

WOW what an episode! I don’t want to focus too much on Bentley because he doesn’t deserve it and other important things happened this week, but let’s just get this over with and start with my brief thoughts on Bad News Bentley.

After being exposed to Bentley’s words and actions the past three weeks it’s hard to think of him as anything other than heartless. Watching Ashley cry was so difficult and I don’t know how Bentley can live with himself knowing he’s the reason she’s crying and knowing that he pawned his daughter off as a scapegoat. It’s one thing to try to promote your business or make a scene and then walk away. But to deliberately make someone fall for you by treating them as if you care all while knowing you have ZERO interest in being with them is wrong on so many levels. Not only did he make Ashley think he wanted to be with her but he did one thing guys should NEVER do and that’s make it seem like there is hope for a future. His “dot dot dot,” comment is a line so many guys use to either soften the blow of ending a relationship when in reality they have no desire to ever get back with the person and/or want to make sure they have the girl in their back pocket for a random lonely night. This move only continued his cruel mind games and I can guarantee you that specific comment made it even harder for her to let him go.

Many of you are wondering how Ashley got so tied to this guy in such a short amount of time. While I don’t think Bentley was a knight in shining armor deserving of the infatuation Ash had with him, emotions develop extremely fast while on the show. I’m a little stumped as to how she developed those feelings without a one-on-one date with him but it’s so easy to fantasize about a guy after a short period of time (c’mon girls, you know we do it. Ashley isn’t the first woman to picture a guy as “the one” after a couple weeks) especially when all you do is think and talk about relationships and feelings. I’m willing to bet some of her emotions were related to her not-so-happy week and the entire process, not JUST with Bentley leaving. Going on the show is an emotional experience in the first place. Added on top of that, the fact that Ashley had to sit through a roast and her fear of not being the guys’ first pick came true when someone verbalized it (William) AND when Bentley bowed out. While I applaud Ash for jumping in and not wanting to have any regrets, I feel like she may have become a little too open with her heart, which is a result of going through this process without having friends or family by her side to talk things through and interject their opinions

On to the rest of the episode!

The first one-on-one of the week was with Ben C. One thing is for sure, Ben C. can match Ashley in her zest for life! If these two were to have kids I’m pretty sure they would always smile, poop rainbows and leave a path of glitter everywhere they went. While I didn’t see a huge spark between the two, I could see this being a relationship that grows slowly because he is so open about his feelings and it fits into Ashley’s idea of that passionate, over-the-top romance.

This week’s group date goes down as the WORST GROUP DATE EVER in Bachelor/Bachelorette HISTORY! A roast of the bachelorette?! Really?! Either you are going to 1.) suck at it because you’ll avoid saying something stupid, in turn looking like you didn’t try or; 2.) do what you’re supposed to do and possibly hurt someone. I can EASILY see William going into this thinking “I’m going to show Ashley that I’m up for the challenge and am going to stand out from all the other guys by going all in.” That mixed with his desire to be a comedian and his inflated sense of security from his previous one-on-one date probably set him up for failure. At the same time, I think the actual words used going into the roast were “she promises she can handle it.”  I don’t think it’s fair to open yourself up to guys roasting you but then putting limits on what they’re allowed to say. A roast is a roast, you have to take the bad with the worse. I also don’t think she ever verbalized to the guys that her biggest fear is them wanting Chantal or Emily over her, so how was he supposed to know it would strike her so hard?  I really felt for William and was so glad to see that Ashley gave him a second chance. He was visibly upset about his misstep (for good reason, he hurt her and is fully aware of how one bad move can take you out of the running this early) and I think this scare gave him the reality check he needed.

I have always had my eye on JP and thought he was one that could make a good impression on Ashley but it wasn’t until this one-on-one that he really stood out to me. When he came out in his lounge clothes and relaxed with Ashley he became extremely attractive. There’s something about his attitude and his way with her that really jumped off the screen. I think JP may have been just what she needed after the rough week and I look forward to seeing more of them!

Lastly, we finally get to see Chris Harrison! I could not agree more with what Chris had to say to Ashley and I really hope it sticks with her. If Bentley was a real man or really wanted her he would fight for her and make it work, just like all the other guys are doing. His pep talk was a conversation she needed to hear and was a subtle way of saying move on and let him go NOW.

After this week I’m glad Bentley is gone…let’s hope Ashley can let him go and that I never have to type his name again!


  1. Thanks Marissa this was a great read!!

    Comment by Annie — June 9, 2011 @ 7:36 pm

  2. Thanks! So true! I love your insights! Chris said all the right things to Ashley. I only wish they would show her Bentley’s interviews, so she could see the true tool he is.

    Comment by Robin Legare — June 9, 2011 @ 8:16 pm

  3. Marissa-
    I’m glad someone finally blogged the truth… William didn’t know of Ashley’s fears, and he followed along with the date theme. After all, a roast is a roast and saying she can take it was taken at face value, and he went for it. Looking back, he probably sees it wasn’t a good move, but I don’t think he meant any harm what so ever!!! I think he felt comfortable in doing a “roast” and saying those things because of their connection/one-on-one date, because he does like, and because saying he thought he was coming on for Emily/Chantel didn’t mean he wasn’t happy after all that it was Ashley, he obviously was/is by the way he was on their date, etc.

    I hated it upset Ashley, but am truly glad she gave him another chance. Not that it matters if you follow Reality Steve, as he says it’s JP.

    Ironic how many bloggers are commenting on JP.

    Comment by dallasfan — June 9, 2011 @ 8:33 pm

  4. Sorry I keep coming back to this but I had a thought… Let’s show Bentley’s daughter and his mother the show where he made an ASS of himself and see what they think…Shame on you Butthead Bentley. End of Story.

    Comment by Jane — June 9, 2011 @ 9:33 pm

  5. I heard Bentley is allowed back for the Hong Kong trip , ( he wanted it free ) how can this happen ? Why would the producers allow this ? and Bentley isn’t really worth talking about, He is a horriable role model for his daughter. He must really be ‘feeding ‘ off of all this buzz about him , he is loving it and this is just what he wants, so stop talking about the low life creep !

    Comment by barb — June 10, 2011 @ 3:12 pm

  6. lol! I won’t mention him by name, but Ashley did say, I believe in her blog for People, that this wasn’t the last we’d see of him…ugh! He just makes my skin crawl. About William: I agree with the comments made about him, that he didn’t know how deep her insecurity was regarding Emily and Chantal, and she did agree to the roast. I’m glad that she gave him another chance-it is apparent how much he cares. I also was very impressed with JP-after waiting weeks to get a one-on-one date, his date was on a day like that. I think he made a good impression!

    Comment by DebraD — June 13, 2011 @ 2:55 am

  7. yeah, I feel for William ,he’s a cutie, I see him as feeling really bad. and just doesn’t know what to do , he probally feels anything he says isn’t gonna take things back ,poor guy ! and yes I agrre the Roast was a HORRIABLE thing to do and William was just playing the game . Ashley says’ I can take it ! ‘ but you know no one really means that ! If she had the choice she never should have agreed to that roast ! I’m thinking as soon as William said what he said he wanted to turn back time !

    Comment by barb — June 14, 2011 @ 3:55 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment