Marissa May: An Insiders’ Look at Episode 4

Another week of watching Ashley searching for love and I’m very happy to see her spirits start to turn around and much of that can be attributed to the great dates she had this week.

Before we get to the dates…seriously, how psyched are these guys?!


I can personally attest to how getting out of the house lifts your spirits and creates a new outlook during this journey. I think we may start to see some vulnerability and openness from some that have been more reserved.

Constantine gets the first one-on-one and his positive energy is just what Ash needs. He has managed to take what could’ve been a downer of a day and turned it into a great date…and major points for him working in a line from ‘Dumb and Dumber’!  Being able to keep a calm and cool demeanor while dating a woman who is also dating 10 other guys is key. His no pressure approach helps him work his way into Ashley’s heart and he hit the nail on the head when he said that he finds it important to separate the excitement of the day from the excitement of the situation. Being able to determine why you are feeling what you’re feeling is what will lead to a successful relationship. It’s very easy to get caught up in the excitement of the travels and ‘competition’ but putting that aside to really examine your feelings is what each guy can and should do to get the most out of this.

Back at the house we get a little look at how jealousy can start to spin when feelings develop. JP is starting to question his position with Ashley and is surprised to find out that a lot more is developing with the other guys and Ashley than he thought.

I remember the wrath that Brad got when some girls in the house found out exactly how many girls he had kissed and JPs face says it all!

This group date may be my favorite date so far. I know how great I felt after filming the PSA for the American Red Cross during my season and for these guys making a difference and spending time with the kids they impact will probably be one of the most meaningful experiences they’ll have. Unfortunately for Ryan he will remember it as the day he started going downhill in the house. Ryan has been one of my favorites from the beginning and last week I started to notice a different side of him. We all have a friend just like Ryan. They’re a great friend in general but they have a personality you just can’t deal with for extended periods of time, ahem just like Melissa and me from my season. He’s coming off very intense and sadly it puts a target on his back as one guy the rest of the house can’t deal with. His demeanor is very Jake Pavelka-like…warning signs are flying!

Other points from the group date: Ben F is so sweet to Ashley. Just when she was feeling ignored as the guys went to work on the rooms, Ben took the time to do the work and include Ashley. He has a relaxed attitude about his pursuit of her which helps his true personality shine and leads to her openness with him. JP is still letting the jealousy get the best of him and is starting to act like Ashley did during her time with Brad. He needs to stay focused and not worry about the time she is having with other guys. The mentality he had leaving his one-on-one time with her is what he needs to hold on to and remember. Ryan…why, why, WHY did you feel the need to pull her aside AGAIN? There is a fine line between determined and desperate and that move pushed you into the desperate column. Relax, let things happen naturally, and, while there is no problem with you being happy, try to pace yourself.

Ames and Ashley’s one on one date was another experience that helped ease her mind when it comes to questioning  the guys’ true feelings about her. I hate that she still reminisces about Bentley (and A LOT of you hated hearing it, too) but the guys are doing all that they can to get her back on track. Ames did all the right things in asking her questions about points in life that really matter. I bet there are a lot of relationships in which couples never ask each other the questions Ames proposed to Ashley. I really feel like this is one huge benefit to coming onto the show– questions that truly matter in deciding to be with someone are asked up front.

At the rose ceremony there weren’t any surprises. I’m glad Ashley is taking things into her own hands and deciding to keep people around even if the “schedule” says otherwise. This is her journey and her future…good for her for making a stand! By the way…um, Ben F and Constantine…twins separated at birth?! I’m thinking Ash is developing a type and it’s starting to show!

The previews for next week let us know that Bentley’s run on the show isn’t over. I REALLY hope Ashley is able to look him in the eye and notice that he is different than all the other guys in that he doesn’t want to put in the effort with her. Ashley, open your eyes and kick him to the curb!