Michael Stagliano’s Bachelorette Blog: Episode 01

YA! We are back bay-bay!

Thank you all for joining me in another season of blogging. Last season was my first time writing for the show… and it proved to be a blasty blast. So I am glad to be back. Before I start the rant, and re-cap of what went down on this episode… I really do want to welcome you all back, and say thanks for reading along every week. I will try to keep things as short and concise as possible (some of these blogs are novels), keep it funny, light, and always bring it back to the LOVE. (The reason we all watch, right?… No, but if you don’t tell…I won’t.)

And lastly, I have most likely gotten to meet (AND HUG) a whole bunch of you on the Love Like This Tour, and it means the world to me that you guys came out and listened. I get it, I know… What is the guy who got dumped a few times on reality TV doing with a guitar and a tour? Hahaha. It has been a pleasure, to say the least getting to put music out there and trust me…MUCH MORE TO COME.

OK, on to the show:

Going to start with a blanket statement about the whole episode…

I am so impressed by Emily; I think we have the right girl at the head of the ship this time. YES, I said that about Ben last season…and well…. that didn’t end up being very accurate. I can also admit, some people are a “negative Nancy” and I am a “positive Peter,” so maybe I am getting excited too early…but I think this is going to be an entirely different season IN ALL THE RIGHT WAYS.

We open with, SHOCKER, slow music playing, (piano and violins) as Emily talks about her tragic past, and within 25 seconds of the show starting I was already waiting for some hallmark moment. This time, that came in the form of Ricky feeding ducks in a river. Super sweet, establishing shot of the Mommy/Daughter relationship. Fast forward¬ – tuck into bed, kiss, and carpool. We learn (for the 3rd time) Emily is alone at night and likes to look at pictures, and reminisce… AND she’s at the mansion.

Chris has the usual talk with her. Blah Blee Blooo. She’s nervous, flattered, excited, nervous…nervous again. But she handles it all beautifully. She is heavy on the smiles, seems humble, and anxious to meet the guys.


Hahaha. OH GOD…. where to begin? There is a lot.

Quick breakdown:

David: Singer/Songwriter New York. Dark room. “Emily…EMILY…OoooOoo EMILY….Emily….Emily”…………… YIKES.

Doug: Has a son. Seattle. Ummmm. Easily my favorite, IMMEDIATELY. If he doesn’t get the Final Rose… I’m going to try and date him, haha.

Jackson: Got down on a knee…”life is about the moments that take you’re breath away”…. Oops cliché, stupid, just say “hi” dude…please.

Joe: Reminded me of a wind-up monkey that bangs a drum.

Kyle: seems genuinely blown away by Emily. Sweetness to him, I liked him

Aaron: *Picture an airplane on fire, diving out of the sky, then exploding on a mountain side… That is about how well his “chemistry” line worked. Brut.

Jef: I like him, BUT. He reminds me of Bruno Mars meets Rufio from Hook. With the hair and the skateboard…anyone else seeing this?

Steve: Had a boom box, played music, and I THINK what he did was called dancing…I’m not sure though. Also, the hair on his chin was awful.

Tony: Cinderella, fairy tales, princess, glass slipper – holy cow. That guy needs to do some push-ups. Does he have ANY guy friends? He might as well have worn a dress.

Randy: The grandma thing? Please refer back to Aaron (*)

Nate: Nametag thing, but I kind of liked it. It was memorable and funny.

Travis: Oh god. Oh…. God. The egg. It is hard to fathom something creepier, less attractive and weirder than bringing an egg to a girl you are just meeting and saying “It symbolizes my protection (stalking) over you and your daughter…” nightmare.

Ryan: Pro-football player. He’s AWESOME. Ridiculously good looking, trains athletes. I hope he goes far.

Kalon: Helicopter (good for you!), sideways/creepy, smile/mouth (not so good!)

Brent: 6 kids…. Wow. That’s a lot of kids.

The night goes as all first nights do. Lots of 30-second conversations. Lots of ooh’s and ahh’s when Emily walks in a room. The guys are IN LOVE with her right away, understandably so.

A few conversations stuck out to me:

1. Arie: Coming right out and saying he is a racecar driver, SO BALLSY. I thought it was really sweet and cool how he told Emily. He didn’t “pull it out of the closet,” he just laid it out honestly and wanted to make sure she knew that about him before things got serious. I disliked this a little because it is A LOT to put on Emily night one, right? If you recall, he even asked, “is that ok?” Eeeshhh. That’s a tough pill to swallow when you JUST met someone. It worked out well though, and I’m a fan of his for sure.

2. Doug: I mean… Holy hell. That note from Austin… NO. This show is NOT a competition (and it drives me nuts when contestants handle it like one)…BUT… that note from his son was the ace in the hole, the 4th quarter touchdown pass, the bottom of the 9th home run…call it what you want. Totally deserved the F.I.R. (first impression rose, do we all know the lingo?)

3. Chris: The bobble head puppet show. Whooopsie Daisy. I can’t remember ever learning as a boy/guy/man that the way to a woman’s heart is a puppet show. Anyone else have a hard time watching?

The night wraps up with a Rose Ceremony that didn’t hold too many surprises. I liked her picks for the most part, didn’t think she passed up anyone that should have stayed, though Brent’s exit about not being able to find love at 40, and having 6 children WAS sad. I certainly wish him well.

Short and sweet to start things off this season. But I’ll leave you this:

I think we have a pretty awesome 9 weeks ahead of us. There are some really intriguing guys, a few crazies thrown in, and one hell of a Bachelorette. That sounds like the recipe for a fun, emotional, rocking season 8 of The Bachelorette.

Have a good week. And in case you haven’t heard yet. I stop-by and read EVERY comment that is posted. So if you ever wonder: I’ll read it.

Thanks for the love.

Here’s a bit of mine back to you: