Michael Stagliano: Bye Bye LA
Oh yeah! It’s week two baby! And this season the group says bye bye to L.A. right out of the gate And I must say that I like this. It accomplishes two things in my eyes:
1. We shy away from seeing a lot of the same “Hollywood” “L.A” dates, and;
2. We immediately get a closer look at Ben and his hometown and where he will settle down at the end of this, hopefully with a fiancé. So cool! Usually this happens in week 9. I, for one, liked it being moved up to week 2.
Kacie B. gets the first date and I like her. She seems warm and very honest, a girl that outwardly expresses her emotions and has nothing to hide. Additionally, we get the feeling that she doesn’t see the Bachelor as a contest, she isn’t “competing” with the other girls…instead she is simply into Ben, and all about getting to know him. This does, however, bring out some eye-rolling claims like, “I hope to marry him;” “I haven’t been in touch with these feelings;” “He really opens me up to someone I want to be.” Now…look. This IS one of the wonderful things about this show, and the environment in The Bachelor world really does quiet down everyday life and allows you to focus on feeling, and sharing love. So I get it. But…yikes.
Ok…ok… I digress: for me, the date goes a little south once the baton comes out. I can imagine no circumstance, with any guy in the world who would: A.) Want to twirl a baton; B.) Every find it sexy that a girl can do that; C.) Want to march down a street doing anything (especially when…see point A.) BUT, the date flies back north at the theater. I LOVED every second of that part, how cute Kacie was and how meaningful it was to see Ben with his father. I am sure all of us watching thought, if only for a second, about our own family and what a blessing they are. Who is the cheesy one now, Michael?
She gets the rose, and I agree with the choice. If anything the decision to show her baton “talent” shows she has nothing to hide. I am all for it.
Moving along to the group date. I LOVED this is all I can say…Well… I can say more: first, the auditions were hysterical. Clearly being judged by kids has a few requirements and that is to drop your guard, have big emotions, and laugh! For the most part it looked liked the girls got this and did it. I would loved to be there to see some of the young boys’ eyes popping out of their skulls when Blakeley got up on stage. One of them immediately asking, “Can you run in slow-motion,” was a true testament to how much they cared about her “acting” ability. I think they literally had every other girl at least say something. Blakeley…nah…you just run in place. What does this say about the young men in our society? Typically, I would be referring to 13-16 year olds but this time…9 year olds. Hahahaha.
The play was super terrible and ridiculous, which is why it was AWESOME. My favorite was Nicki, every time she “eeh-awed” as the donkey, I laughed and wanted to kiss her. (Still my favorite). But all the girls owned it and had a blast and even Ben showed some acting chops and Sonoma really did get treated to one of a kind performance: It was like Shrek meets Barney…with a naked half-man/half-sheep thrown in.
At night, the claws came out and was it just me? When Blakeley and Ben were in the pool did you think she was going to/was trying to take off her bikini? The tease ends up working and she gets the rose, much to the other girls’ dismay. Some classic spying and trashing talking erupts, which bleeds over into the cocktail party, which I’ll get to at the end.
Courtney is up on the one-on-one date and I haven’t looked forward to anything less in my life…well maybe dentist appointments (I know, I can’t stop with the dentist jokes…they’re just too easy. No offense, Blake….well…some offense). Easily the best part of the date is Scotch. He is THE MAN. Did anyone else catch how pimped out he was at the house with all the girls laying poolside. He made his rounds, and checked ‘em all out. THEY ALL had their eyes on him. Working it scotch…go ahead, lil’ crazy. Note to women: If a guy has a dog, I don’t care what breed, and that dog respects and loves him, and is well behaved…he is a good guy. Wait…I do care what breed…if he has a Chihuahua…it’s not gonna work out.
The date: Blahville and Courtney is on the billboard welcoming those to town with a blank “model-esque” pose. She makes some ridiculous comment like, ”I don’t like anyone that I meet.” I fell asleep a few minutes in. There were almost no facial expressions from her or Ben. The only thing I liked, and it resulted in my “Fla-nick-nack” of the week was, “Rock N Roll” and getting Scotch to howl. Super dope. Scotch is the man.
I was a little curious that a winemaker named his dog “Scotch.” That’s like a butcher naming his dog “Salad.” Though I do realize “Pinot” isn’t a good choice, or any other varietal.
Getting to the cocktail party, some DELICIOUSLY horrible things go down!
1. Classic mistake: Blakeley interrupts time between Ben and another girl when she already has a rose. For future cast members…this is the fast track to making enemies. Blakeley seems to be well aware of this, even proud of her aggressive nature, and goes so far to dismiss the girls as being, “in the way” about 12 minutes later. Soon after she is huddled in the corner of a room behind some suitcases…pouting and seemingly defecating on herself as she cries and contemplates how in the world no one likes her. This is what men talk about when we say, “we don’t understand women.” (Not all women of course, but yikes…how does that happen?)
2. Equally as frustrating Samantha, takes her one on one time to pull Ben aside and tell him she doesn’t like drama. The minute after their time ends she is rallying the other girls together, calling Blakeley a b*tch, and stirring the pot with drama. Again, women: men do not understand these moments.
3. Last but never least. Jenna. OH good golly. Three things: 1.) Ben came to get her, asked if he could talk outside and she literally didn’t even turn to face him. She said “oh,” (like “oh, well I was kind of busy talking…but I guess I’ll go”) gets outside, puts a blanket on a candle, and the first sentence out of her mouth was, “I’m not a girl.” Did anyone else think the next sentence out of her mouth was going to be, “I have a penis and balls?” Because I would NOT have been surprised. This had me laughing and cringing and howling…and then I immediately regretted it as she was laying in bed crying…again. I really did feel bad for her, and as I mentioned in my blog last week, the show is not for everyone and is emotionally draining for some more than others.
I was truly sad to see Jenna go, and I didn’t remember the other girl at all so I can’t say I felt anything to see her go.
But this show will be much less without you Jenna. If you are reading this, please remember it is just a TV show, I hope you can smile and laugh at yourself and continue to look for love. It is out there for all of us, you dig?
I think that is it for this week. Except I am also in love with Lindzi…she is screaming future Bachelorette if Ben doesn’t pick her. I just can’t take my eyes of her and LOVE her personality so far. WOW!
Thank you for reading and posting the comments, they made me smile. If you take the time to write I will always take the time to read.
On that note: PLEASE read about a special needs orphan some family friends of mine are trying to adopt. If you are financially able please donate to his rescue. His name is Ryan, he is THE MAN (in a different way then Scotch, haha) and he needs a home…fast!
Check out www.michaelstaglianomusic.com for his story and link to donate. If you can’t donate, then please just keep him in your thoughts and prayers.