Michael Stagliano’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 3

Holy crap.

WHERE DO WE START!

Ok. Well, welcome back everyone.  Sorry for the delay in getting my blog finished. I typically try to keep things S.C.C. Short, Comical and Concise.  This week there is just so much to blalk about (blog and talk combined?) for the blog to be short.  I think I managed the C.C. part though. :)

Instead of reading at your desk, this time, you might want to take your lunch break.

You ready.

SHOCKER. The episode starts with shirtless Sean, working out, and thinking about how hopeful he is to find love. Ladies, in case you were wondering. THIS is how all men start their day! Haha. For real though, Sean is proving to be one of my favorite Bachelors by far.  I like this guy. Especially after meeting him in person. He’s awesome.

Leslie M gets the first one on one.  She steps up to the plate and the crowd (You, Me,) goes wild.  I friggin’ love Leslie.  Sean picks her up and they go to the Guinness Book of World Records Museum. Super dope.  After looking at very tall people, and very short people. They stumble upon Sean’s Dad’s world record – 47 states in 97 hours. Honestly, I thought that was SO COOL.  How carpe diem is it be THE BEST in the world at something?

Sean and Leslie are inspired. Please, correct me if you feel differently, but doesn’t STUART CLAXTON sound EXACTLY like the name of someone who authenticates world records for the Guinness Book of World Records? AND he was British. Hilarious.

SO. With the help of Chris Harrison (vest-unbuttoned? Is that a thing?) they attempt to set the world record for longest on-screen kiss. My initial reaction was, holy crap that is going to be HARD. Wait, not. (That’s not what she said.)

And contrary to what I thought was going to air they showed the entire three minute kiss.  And 30 seconds in weren’t you thinking “Wow, that’s already a long time!”  They champ-it-out, Leslie’s hands are magic, they end up kissing LONGER than 3:16!  WHAOW!  World Record!

Fast forward, nighttime, rooftop of the Roosevelt hotel. They have an endearing conversation about family and future love. They kiss and Sean tells her that her future husband just might be sitting next to her. HOMERUN. ROSE. Happy Face!!!

Next up is the group date.

Insert: Beach, Shirtless Sean, bikinis and volleyball.

A funny line from Kacie B that I completely agree with – “As soon as you see Chris Harrison the FUN is DONE.”

He announces that for the next 4 minutes, America will be forced to watch what is undoubtedly, the LEAST exciting sporting event in the history of sports. I don’t think ANY of the girls played volleyball.  I actually coach high school girls’ club volleyball so for me the biomechanical errors were too much. Girls were flopping all over the place, under-hand serves. Was there a spike?  Did anyone spike it one time? Painful. The Blue or Red. I don’t know. One of the teams wins. Kristy and Leslie H CRY because they can’t believe they won’t get more time with Sean. They are also LITERALLY bored to tears while playing the game.

The night portion of the date is back at Sean’s place and uh, did anyone else think this was weird? Wasn’t Desiree JUST there for a one-on-one.

Three things are worth pointing out on this part of the date.

1.  Lindsay continues down the right path.  Though I must say, she said some things a bit too prematurely for me. That she is, “amazed by Sean,” that she can “see him being her best friend;” she talks about what she is like when she falls in love. Yeah, I don’t know. Would you say that to someone you are on a 1st or 2nd date with?  I am not even saying she didn’t mean it. It was just too soon to hear it for me.

OH. Side note. Does Desiree look like Katie Holmes to anyone else? Ponder that.

2. Amanda’s time with Sean is…It was thoroughly uninteresting. I was VERY uninterested. Sean was too. did you catch the body language?

3.  OOOOOOooooooh. No, Kacie B. OH NO!!!  This was a total flop. I was cringing while watching. And honestly, Sean took the words right out of my mouth. I just DIDN’T GET IT! What was she doing?  What was the problem? More importantly, HOW was telling Sean going to help? WHY did he need to know? WHY was Kacie even involved with, worried about, what was going on with Amanda and Desiree at all? OOOOhhhh. I hated it. I really like Kacie but I hated that moment for her. More on this later.

The next one-on-one is with AshLee. (Record scratch)

Tierra falls down the steps? Is that what happened?

I don’t know.

Honestly, she looked hurt.  She looked out of it, non-responsive. I do NOT think she faked the fall.  I DO think she played it up.  I have NEVER in my life heard of someone NOT going to the hospital when paramedics are surrounding her, telling her she needs to go.  I also did not like the way she treated the medical professionals who were just trying to help her out. Yikes. GIANT step backwards for Tierra.

OK, back on track.

It is AshLee’s one-on-one. Who THE HELL told her to wear a dress and heels to an amusement park?

They pull up to Six Flags. (Literally 5 minutes away from my parents house and my office in Santa Clarita. So dope.) If renting out the entire theme park isn’t enough they get to make two girls with chronic illnesses dreams come true as well.

I LOVED THIS DATE.

YES. I absolutely cried when Brianne and Emily saw each other for the first time. Cried like a baby. WHEW! That was awesome.

They ride the ride, Sean gets a ring on a bottle, wins a tiger the size of Brianne, they take pictures, and I felt a little bit bad (3 out of 10) for AshLee; simply because of the lack of alone time for her and Sean.

Fortunately, later that night, they to get alone time. AshLee gets to open up and share her story, it was beautiful.  I did not cry that time, but Sean did. She gets the rose. I am sure I am not alone here, there just was NOT chemistry going on there between them. Sad face.

Back at the house it is the hyena party. I mean cocktail party. This was a blurred train wreck of 40-second conversations. BUT. I LOVED the surprise for Sarah. Sean has a limo pull up, and out pops LEO. Holy crap. He was awesome. Sarah cries. I LOVE IT because Sarah feels special, and feels like Sean was thinking of her. OH, goosebumps. it was awesome.

Kacie B tries to back track with Sean and explain herself. Unfortunately she is wearing a dress that is both from the future and from the 80′s AND it has neon green TEETH. What the hell.  She is also interrupted by Selma and a girl. ESH that did NOT GO WELL.

Desiree breaks down a bit and admits she doesn’t like “the game” part of the show. Honestly, I didn’t like that part either, and I imagine every contestant who has ever been on the show would admit that as well.

At long last Kristy and Taryn go home.  I don’t think those are huge losses. But I also didn’t feel like we/Sean really got to know those girls.

And sadly, but probably in good form, Kacie B goes home as well.

Even before the train wreck from earlier I did not see it with her and Sean. I was glad she got sent home before her hopes got too high.

There was a moment that I wanted to point out from Kacie’s limo ride that I think is really important.  On her way out Kacie said, “the first time I left the show with no regrets, this time, I will have some.”  It always baffles me when people aren’t able to admit regret.  I especially don’t like when people say they “live with no regrets”. I think what that really says, is that you are afraid to be honest with yourself. Huge props to Kacie for admitting her wrong, and being able to face the TRUTH of a situation.  It is important to acknowledge when we make mistakes, and it is OK to regret something.

That’s all on the Bachelor front this week.

I hope this blog finds you well, and that you are all still holding true to those New Years resolutions. Just 3 weeks ago!  Stick with it!

Music time:

My band played a show at the House of Blues on Saturday, if you made it out. THANK YOU so much for coming, we had a blast!  There are a lot more shows in the works, just nothing nailed down at the moment.  I WILL be in Toronto next month Feb 15-18, more details about that event in my next blog.

As always you can check out my music on YouTube: Michael Stagliano, or on my website: www.michaelstaglianomusic.com

Much love to you all.

Thanks for reading!

38 Comments »

  1. Great blog Michael! I love your insight. Thanks for all the effort you go to in writing it. Its always a great way to start my morning reading your blog (I live in Australia).

    Comment by Jessica — January 23, 2013 @ 5:33 pm

  2. PLEASE PLEASE come to the South! We love you down here! You’re my favorite guy (besides my hubs! I think you’re adorable & have a great heart! I am always cheering you on to find love! Saw on twitter you have a girl! Super happy for y’all! You deserve it. For reals, come to the South. :)

    Comment by Heather — January 23, 2013 @ 5:52 pm

  3. I laughed out loud at your description of Kacie’s dress.

    And kudos for mentioning the New Year’s resolution thing…any motivation helps!

    I always love how your writing totally incorporates your personality, humor, and manner of speaking. It makes it a pleasure to read!

    Comment by Jennifer — January 23, 2013 @ 5:53 pm

  4. Been a huge Michael fan since your first night breakdancing for Jillian! Totally agree about admitting to regrets. Regrets can be one of the most valuable tools to teach us how to do it better next time.
    Hoping one day you will get to Minnesota!
    Until then. Thanks for all the fashion tips:)
    And resolutions- uh heck yes! Down 6 pounds already! Woot!
    Thanks for always showing girls what good guys look like.
    Minnesota Bachelor fans love Michael!!

    Comment by Meggan — January 23, 2013 @ 7:00 pm

  5. Great blog Michael! Love your wit and humor. And thanks for mentioning the New Year’s resolution….I was about to fall off the wagon today, but your extra motivation helped.

    Comment by Amy — January 23, 2013 @ 7:21 pm

  6. Good blog this week, Michael. For a moment there I forgot who I was reading.

    Comment by ilja — January 23, 2013 @ 7:42 pm

  7. Absolute favorite blog. Thanks for bringing laughter to my day that I desperately needed:) Yikes!

    Comment by grace — January 23, 2013 @ 8:00 pm

  8. Michael I’ve been a closet reader for awhile but I just had to comment – you cracked me up on this entry! Totally crushed this one. Thanks for the smiles on my Wednesday. :D

    Comment by Paula — January 23, 2013 @ 8:07 pm

  9. I LOVE YOU

    Comment by Claire, your wife — January 23, 2013 @ 8:17 pm

  10. Love your blog! Totally agree about the beach volleyball. I used to play club volleyball :) Also, I think everyone agrees that Desiree looks like Katie Holmes!

    Comment by ashley — January 23, 2013 @ 8:24 pm

  11. Kacie’s dress. The teeth. Trying sooo hard to be quiet, so my shoulders are totally shaking the whole bed! El.oh.el.

    Comment by nina — January 23, 2013 @ 8:24 pm

  12. Michael,

    Your blogs crack me up every week….. I love reading them…
    Thanks for always writing :) )

    Comment by BrookeDiana — January 23, 2013 @ 8:25 pm

  13. You should come play a show in Denver!

    Comment by mo — January 23, 2013 @ 8:27 pm

  14. Awesome blog Michael! I look forward to it every week.

    P.S. I think it’s about time you showed Vancouver some more Michael love and did another show here…. you know you wanna! :)

    Comment by Katie — January 23, 2013 @ 8:31 pm

  15. Great blog as usual!

    Comment by Arch — January 23, 2013 @ 9:26 pm

  16. I second the suggestion about playing in Denver. :)

    Also, I enjoy reading your blog more than watching the actual show! Hilarious.

    Comment by Emily S — January 23, 2013 @ 9:52 pm

  17. Great blog, Michael! I enjoy your witty recaps…they’re hilarious and so true!

    Did you catch Kacie B’s interview when she said it wasn’t meant for her and Sean to work out “right now”? I really like Kacie, but she comes across as so desperate sometimes…back for Ben, blabbing to Sean…kudos to her for putting herself out there, but the poor girl needs to make better judgement calls. I really hope that comment isn’t a prelude for her to “come back” for Sean later in the season! Bless her heart…I hope she finds happiness, I just don’t think that Bachelor love is gonna be the way she finds it.

    Thanks again for the great blog! Look forward to next week!

    Comment by Stephanie — January 24, 2013 @ 6:43 am

  18. As always, great job! I always enjoy reading your perceptions and insights. I’m glad you’re back!

    Comment by jessie — January 24, 2013 @ 6:46 am

  19. it’s LESLEY! you are not the only one getting it wrong, but his first date was with Lesley M!

    Comment by kkpete — January 24, 2013 @ 7:11 am

  20. I don’t know how but you said EXACTLY everything I would say about this episode @@ I did think “Well it’s gonna be longggg” when they aired the “Kiss Record”. I do think Desiree looks like Katie Holmes. I thought Sean’s surprise for Sarah is super cute too. And I like the way Kacie said she had regrets.
    Just 1 thing I think differently is AshLee is a pretty good match for Sean, ranked #3 to me (Desiree #1 and Sarah #2)
    Thanks for a S.C.C blog! Haha, love ya!

    Comment by Lam — January 24, 2013 @ 7:51 am

  21. I laughed out loud (not good, at work) over the comment on Kacie’s dress. Hysterical and accurate. I really like her, she is a class act. She stuck her foot in her mouth, learning experience. I didn’t see chemistry with her and Sean. She needs a guy with a bit, just a bit of an edge. I totally didn’t see chemisty with Ashlee and agree with you that Desiree does resemble Katie Holmes. I so do not like Tierra. I don’t think she faked the fall but agree she played it up.
    Love your blog Michael. You just have a way of putting it out there :)

    Comment by Claudia — January 24, 2013 @ 9:49 am

  22. I cringed at Kacie and Seans convo on the group date. I cringe every time someone goes out of their way to inform someone else about how others are acting behind someone else’s back. It’s just childish. I LOVED both one-on-ones. Yes the volleyball match was a disaster!! I’ve played volley ball since I was young, and they just sucked. Kacie was the ONLY one who looked like she knew how to play.
    Your blogs are always awesome. Keep them coming. Love you.

    Comment by Naomi — January 24, 2013 @ 11:21 am

  23. I agree with you on Desiree looking a bit like Katie Holmes but without the smirk. I also think that Desiree looks like Catherine Bell from JAG and Army Wives. Sarah is sweet, but I think she’ll end up on the “like a little sister” list, and he and AshLee don’t have the requisite chemistry–glad you thought so as well. Keep up the great blogging–look forward to it every week!

    Comment by Ginny — January 24, 2013 @ 11:53 am

  24. Oh my goodness…. “OOOOOOooooooh. No, Kacie B. OH NO!!!” That entire paragraph..I am DYING laughing! The whole thing is almost exactly what my girlfriends and I said when she started talking! WHAT was happening? Poor girl… just trying too hard, or SOMETHING!

    Hilarious blog, Michael. I love people who write like that would talk.. it’s like having a conversation every week. Keep up the good work! Funny stuff!

    Comment by Gina — January 24, 2013 @ 1:38 pm

  25. Hi Michael,

    Such a fun recap! I also died at your description of Kacie B’s dress – so funny! I agree the whole situation with her and Sean was a mess. I feel like she was trying to make it seem like there was drama so that she could make her move and then look like a hero for “warning” him. Only problem is she had nothing. It’s like she went up to him to tell him that there is a girl in the house who blows her nose every morning so she is not good for him. Like, what does that matter? And more importantly, why is it for you to come tell me? I feel like she shouldn’t put so much stock in her mistake though because I think that there just wasn’t anything between them romanticaly. It is unfortunate that she made herself look a little dumb, but I think she would not have ended up with him anyhow. Just in case she reads these comments, let me say this:

    Kacie,

    Sean was not into you. If he was he would have looked way past your little lapse in judgement. Don’t worry. The right man will come along and he will be so into you. That’s how you will know he is the one. Just wait, relax, and put this all behind you!

    Anyway, have a great week Michael!

    Heather

    Comment by Heather — January 24, 2013 @ 1:47 pm

  26. I agree with the person above.
    Sean was just not that into Kacie and look for a reason to send her hom and I think it suited him perfectly that she said that. Almost like it was planned from production part to make Sean look good if people liked Kacie.
    Idk what I quite thought about her this time, but poor girl. I did not like the way he treated her, and especailly ignored her when Selma and the other girl came. He should have asked them to give Kacie and him time and respectedly sent her home then and explained it was because he wasn’t feeling her, so the poor girl can stop wondering if it was because of what she said.

    Comment by SJ — January 24, 2013 @ 2:36 pm

  27. Seriously about the girls? That was so incredibly staged. Girlfriends scream and carry about quite insanely when they see each other after a few days, much less for the first time ever. So staged, so no tears from me. I appreciate what they are going through, but I don’t appreciate the staged meeting at all. This is the most BORING season this show has ever had. Snooze fest!

    Comment by Beth — January 24, 2013 @ 7:08 pm

  28. Great critics Mike! Love ya!

    Comment by Nadine — January 24, 2013 @ 7:39 pm

  29. Good blog! I agree completely about regrets. I always thought it seemed arrogant when people say they have no regrets, as if they don’t think they’ve ever made mistakes.

    I was a little disappointed that Kacie went home so soon. I thought they brought her on to set her up as the next Bachelorette, but maybe they don’t need her for that since there are so many other likable girls this season. Desiree does look like Katie Holmes! And a little bit like Emmy Rossum, too.

    Comment by Amy — January 24, 2013 @ 10:20 pm

  30. I haven’t watched every season of the show, so I don’t know much about Sean, Kacie, yourself (Michael) etc, but from what was aired Sean never had interest in Kacie romantically. I was in the “what the heck you doing” during her conversation on the group date with Sean, but I do like how he took her out before the rose cermony and had a private conversation with her out of respect for their friendship.

    I read on twitter that Chris H said that they had volleyball coaches there for them and they were practing before the game which was not aired… I, myself also played volleyball so I was laughing at the game, but what we have to remember is that it was a friendly competition for more time with Sean.

    Tierra needs to go! Is she another Vienna?

    Also, don’t they only get date cards with hints, or a sentence, but not really knowing where they are going, so realistically we wouldn’t wear dress/heels to Magic Mtn, she may not have known where she was going, so cut her a little slack, looks like she got through the day like a champ, and if you have been there you know there are a ton of hills to walk in that place :)

    Thanks for the blog, looking forward to next week!

    Comment by Melissa — January 24, 2013 @ 10:40 pm

  31. Love the blogs Stag! I agree with you on the regrets there are days where I think why did I think or do that? I think it’s health to admit your mistakes and you do very well at making it funny (; thanks for all you do! Ill be back next week!

    Comment by Megan — January 25, 2013 @ 12:19 am

  32. Great blog Michael! You are awesome.

    Comment by http://topreasonstolovethebachelor.blogspot.com/ — January 27, 2013 @ 11:09 am

  33. Great blog as always! :) You should come and do a show in CA. That would be absolutely amazing!!

    Comment by Amy — January 27, 2013 @ 9:10 pm

  34. I came across your blog today. I’m not afraid to say I watch the bachelor:) The girls are beautiful…especially Ashlee:)!

    I hope you and your family are doing well bud!

    Cheers!

    Comment by Jon Mindelli — January 28, 2013 @ 10:18 pm

  35. Great blog, one of my faves. I agree with your thought on regrets. There is nothing wrong with admitting a mistake a moving on. Also, I thought of Katie Holmes the first time I saw Desiree. Dead ringer! She’s adorable.

    Comment by Sarah O — January 29, 2013 @ 9:18 am

  36. Oh and with regards to Kacie. I believe that if she and Sean had truly hit it off to where there was a connection the first time they met, he would have pursued it prior to going on the bachelor. If they were just friends, there was a reason for that.

    Comment by Sarah O — January 29, 2013 @ 9:23 am

  37. Awesome blog as always Michael. Super excited you are coming back to Toronto, Early birthday present for me!! Can’t wait to see you. Till next weeks blog. Have an awesome week!

    Comment by Lisa Hagerman — January 30, 2013 @ 8:28 am

  38. You’re such a girl.

    Comment by spellingnazi — February 3, 2013 @ 3:12 pm

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