Michael Stagliano’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 3

Holy crap.

WHERE DO WE START!

Ok. Well, welcome back everyone.  Sorry for the delay in getting my blog finished. I typically try to keep things S.C.C. Short, Comical and Concise.  This week there is just so much to blalk about (blog and talk combined?) for the blog to be short.  I think I managed the C.C. part though. :)

Instead of reading at your desk, this time, you might want to take your lunch break.

You ready.

SHOCKER. The episode starts with shirtless Sean, working out, and thinking about how hopeful he is to find love. Ladies, in case you were wondering. THIS is how all men start their day! Haha. For real though, Sean is proving to be one of my favorite Bachelors by far.  I like this guy. Especially after meeting him in person. He’s awesome.

Leslie M gets the first one on one.  She steps up to the plate and the crowd (You, Me,) goes wild.  I friggin’ love Leslie.  Sean picks her up and they go to the Guinness Book of World Records Museum. Super dope.  After looking at very tall people, and very short people. They stumble upon Sean’s Dad’s world record – 47 states in 97 hours. Honestly, I thought that was SO COOL.  How carpe diem is it be THE BEST in the world at something?

Sean and Leslie are inspired. Please, correct me if you feel differently, but doesn’t STUART CLAXTON sound EXACTLY like the name of someone who authenticates world records for the Guinness Book of World Records? AND he was British. Hilarious.

SO. With the help of Chris Harrison (vest-unbuttoned? Is that a thing?) they attempt to set the world record for longest on-screen kiss. My initial reaction was, holy crap that is going to be HARD. Wait, not. (That’s not what she said.)

And contrary to what I thought was going to air they showed the entire three minute kiss.  And 30 seconds in weren’t you thinking “Wow, that’s already a long time!”  They champ-it-out, Leslie’s hands are magic, they end up kissing LONGER than 3:16!  WHAOW!  World Record!

Fast forward, nighttime, rooftop of the Roosevelt hotel. They have an endearing conversation about family and future love. They kiss and Sean tells her that her future husband just might be sitting next to her. HOMERUN. ROSE. Happy Face!!!

Next up is the group date.

Insert: Beach, Shirtless Sean, bikinis and volleyball.

A funny line from Kacie B that I completely agree with – “As soon as you see Chris Harrison the FUN is DONE.”

He announces that for the next 4 minutes, America will be forced to watch what is undoubtedly, the LEAST exciting sporting event in the history of sports. I don’t think ANY of the girls played volleyball.  I actually coach high school girls’ club volleyball so for me the biomechanical errors were too much. Girls were flopping all over the place, under-hand serves. Was there a spike?  Did anyone spike it one time? Painful. The Blue or Red. I don’t know. One of the teams wins. Kristy and Leslie H CRY because they can’t believe they won’t get more time with Sean. They are also LITERALLY bored to tears while playing the game.

The night portion of the date is back at Sean’s place and uh, did anyone else think this was weird? Wasn’t Desiree JUST there for a one-on-one.

Three things are worth pointing out on this part of the date.

1.  Lindsay continues down the right path.  Though I must say, she said some things a bit too prematurely for me. That she is, “amazed by Sean,” that she can “see him being her best friend;” she talks about what she is like when she falls in love. Yeah, I don’t know. Would you say that to someone you are on a 1st or 2nd date with?  I am not even saying she didn’t mean it. It was just too soon to hear it for me.

OH. Side note. Does Desiree look like Katie Holmes to anyone else? Ponder that.

2. Amanda’s time with Sean is…It was thoroughly uninteresting. I was VERY uninterested. Sean was too. did you catch the body language?

3.  OOOOOOooooooh. No, Kacie B. OH NO!!!  This was a total flop. I was cringing while watching. And honestly, Sean took the words right out of my mouth. I just DIDN’T GET IT! What was she doing?  What was the problem? More importantly, HOW was telling Sean going to help? WHY did he need to know? WHY was Kacie even involved with, worried about, what was going on with Amanda and Desiree at all? OOOOhhhh. I hated it. I really like Kacie but I hated that moment for her. More on this later.

The next one-on-one is with AshLee. (Record scratch)

Tierra falls down the steps? Is that what happened?

I don’t know.

Honestly, she looked hurt.  She looked out of it, non-responsive. I do NOT think she faked the fall.  I DO think she played it up.  I have NEVER in my life heard of someone NOT going to the hospital when paramedics are surrounding her, telling her she needs to go.  I also did not like the way she treated the medical professionals who were just trying to help her out. Yikes. GIANT step backwards for Tierra.

OK, back on track.

It is AshLee’s one-on-one. Who THE HELL told her to wear a dress and heels to an amusement park?

They pull up to Six Flags. (Literally 5 minutes away from my parents house and my office in Santa Clarita. So dope.) If renting out the entire theme park isn’t enough they get to make two girls with chronic illnesses dreams come true as well.

I LOVED THIS DATE.

YES. I absolutely cried when Brianne and Emily saw each other for the first time. Cried like a baby. WHEW! That was awesome.

They ride the ride, Sean gets a ring on a bottle, wins a tiger the size of Brianne, they take pictures, and I felt a little bit bad (3 out of 10) for AshLee; simply because of the lack of alone time for her and Sean.

Fortunately, later that night, they to get alone time. AshLee gets to open up and share her story, it was beautiful.  I did not cry that time, but Sean did. She gets the rose. I am sure I am not alone here, there just was NOT chemistry going on there between them. Sad face.

Back at the house it is the hyena party. I mean cocktail party. This was a blurred train wreck of 40-second conversations. BUT. I LOVED the surprise for Sarah. Sean has a limo pull up, and out pops LEO. Holy crap. He was awesome. Sarah cries. I LOVE IT because Sarah feels special, and feels like Sean was thinking of her. OH, goosebumps. it was awesome.

Kacie B tries to back track with Sean and explain herself. Unfortunately she is wearing a dress that is both from the future and from the 80’s AND it has neon green TEETH. What the hell.  She is also interrupted by Selma and a girl. ESH that did NOT GO WELL.

Desiree breaks down a bit and admits she doesn’t like “the game” part of the show. Honestly, I didn’t like that part either, and I imagine every contestant who has ever been on the show would admit that as well.

At long last Kristy and Taryn go home.  I don’t think those are huge losses. But I also didn’t feel like we/Sean really got to know those girls.

And sadly, but probably in good form, Kacie B goes home as well.

Even before the train wreck from earlier I did not see it with her and Sean. I was glad she got sent home before her hopes got too high.

There was a moment that I wanted to point out from Kacie’s limo ride that I think is really important.  On her way out Kacie said, “the first time I left the show with no regrets, this time, I will have some.”  It always baffles me when people aren’t able to admit regret.  I especially don’t like when people say they “live with no regrets”. I think what that really says, is that you are afraid to be honest with yourself. Huge props to Kacie for admitting her wrong, and being able to face the TRUTH of a situation.  It is important to acknowledge when we make mistakes, and it is OK to regret something.

That’s all on the Bachelor front this week.

I hope this blog finds you well, and that you are all still holding true to those New Years resolutions. Just 3 weeks ago!  Stick with it!

Music time:

My band played a show at the House of Blues on Saturday, if you made it out. THANK YOU so much for coming, we had a blast!  There are a lot more shows in the works, just nothing nailed down at the moment.  I WILL be in Toronto next month Feb 15-18, more details about that event in my next blog.

As always you can check out my music on YouTube: Michael Stagliano, or on my website: www.michaelstaglianomusic.com

Much love to you all.

Thanks for reading!