Michael Stagliano’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 6

OOOOOoooohhhh.  I’m going to be honest Bachelor Nation.  Two back-to-back nights of The Bachelor is A LOT for a guy to handle. Coming off of the Superbowl (‘grats Ravens), and buffalo chicken dip, beers and hot wings… that was an intense amount of lovey love love, two nights in a row.  WHEW.

Nevertheless.  I am back (as are you) for another weekly recap.  What say you, to a light, comical, whimsical, retelling of the episode?

All in favor say “Aye.”  Those opposed…comment below.

WHAOW!

Week 6 leaves Montana behind, and we venture further north to a part of the world that has honestly become my second home in the world: Canada, Alberta, Banff, and Lake Louise!  It’s like the big guy upstairs plucked a handful (a big hand) of water out of the Caribbean and put it in Canada, surrounded it with mountains and greenery…and, now, some roses.

Two one on one’s and a group date are in store, and meeting our expectations: we start off catching Daniella in an interview saying/crying about how she is confused and how badly she wants to go a one-on-one date… Oh, tisk, tisk Daniella.  You are praying to the wrong God.  Ask and you shall NOT receive.  Anyone else notice this?  Whichever girl says,  ”I want the date” BEFORE the date card arrives does NOT get the date.

Instead Catherine gets the one on one, and while most of you, it seems, are cheering… I am cringing… and, I read the comments people.  I know, I get it, we do not see eye to eye here… but yikes… ALL I am saying is that I don’t see the DEEP connection yet that Catherine so adamantly talks about.  I DO see Sean smiling around her, and obviously Catherine IS into him.  But, I feel like Catherine is into THE BACHELOR not into Sean.  Yes, she is giddy, and throwing around “I like you”, and I LIKE Catherine’s energy. I like her attitude and her smile… I DON’T DISLIKE HER… But I can’t escape this:  When Sean is with some of the other girls (Leslie, Lindsay, Desiree) it looks to me like things are much more natural, deeper and more genuine.  When he is with Catherine their interaction looks a little forced and disingenuous… OK, I digress… Back to the date :)

Sean pulls up in, what HAS to be the most NOT clever name for a monstrous vehicle on earth.  He drives the ”Snow Bus” up to Catherine.  How about, “The Abominable Snow Bus”, “The Blizzard”, “Santa’s OTHER Sled”, “The Snow Crusher,” “The Snow Ball”… Ok, I think that’s enough… I literally have eleven more names though. He picks her up, they drive up the mountain and play around in the snow, go sledding, do front flips and wrestle.  Honestly, it is crazy cute, they look like toddlers in their onesies (how the hell do you spell THAT word), and I am ALL for it.  Especially after the nightmare that was Montana, and how tense and difficult the dates were last week, this is a breath of fresh (freezing) air.  And seriously, good for Catherine for toughing out in what was a legitimate blizzard.  ABC doesn’t do “fake-snow” for reality TV folks.

That night they head to an ice castle, which is mildly cool to me, like a 3 out of 10… I just don’t get it… It is a REALLY cold, kingless, small castle…schmer.

Catherine interviews, saying she wants to open up to Sean, and does so by telling Sean a pretty horrible (sad) story.  He/we hear about her 12-year-old friend being crushed to death by a tree during a summer camp retreat. YIKES.  I was NOT expecting that to come out of her mouth.  It is crazy sad, and has to be some amount of traumatizing for Catherine. She rounds out the story by sharing how strongly she feels about “living life to the fullest,” and it does seem to explain her positivity and her perma-smile. A small step forward for Catherine. Yay!

The reason why I think it is only small step and not a big one (in MY book) is because she then starts saying things that I find forced.  She tells him that she wants to be with Sean because Sean wants a family, and a wife, and kids… And I just don’t see that as a reason to marry someone.  Lots of people, I would say more than 80% of the people in his country want to fall in love, and be married, and have kids… I am not convinced that THAT is a reason Catherine should be falling in love with Sean. Cue the disagreeing comments :)

OK!

Moving on to the group date…OOOOOOH CRAP.  They are getting BACK in canoes…

I fell asleep at that part… and woke up again when they were all about to jump in to the FA-REEZING cold water for a polar plunge.

Selma says, “hell no, I’m from Baghdad b*tch…) good Selma, THAT will win him over.  All of the other girls pull on their big girl panties (bikini’s) and jump in the water!

Shocker, it is freezing, INSANITY cold… but it seems like for all the girls (except one) it is an INCREDIBLE RUSH, and they come out of the water ALL SMILES and loving it.

That is, of course, except for Tierra…who…ah Christ…

 

I don’t even know what to type anymore…  LOOK, the girl was shaking, she DID seem unresponsive, and the point that I want to make… is that it doesn’t matter if she is faking it or not. GOOD LORD. Even if she is not faking it; how is Sean not imagining the rest of his life with Tierra ducking in and out of ER rooms, and procuring helmets, band aids and crutches for whenever Tierra decides to go outside. It is just getting INSANE.  Equally as insane to me was the lifeguard/EMT combo.  The second they walked up on screen, I was like yea, nope… I don’t believe those two have EVER seen an emergency situation.

So….

Let me get this straight…

The plan…

The back up, escape, emergency plan was that…

If one of the girls got hypothermia…

…The skinny, red-headed life guard and EMT were going to CARRY the victim BACK ACROSS THE LAKE?

I’m serious! DID I MISS SOMETHING! What the HELL was that?  They literally just threw blankets on her, grabbed under her arms and legs, picked her up, and dragged her back to the hotel…Hahahaha, I was beside myself with confusion.

YIKES!!!

Back at the hotel, Desiree and Catherine are freaking out worried. They can’t see who it is that got hurt… so concerned, “Who is it?”, “Oh my god”, “It’s one of our girls!”, “Oh MY GOD.” I LOVED when they ran downstairs, opened the door to the room where Tierra was…. SAW that it was Tierra…and were like, “Oh…”  “Ok…. so… you’re just cold then?”  HILARIOUS!

Sean visits Tierra, so her plan works… blah blee blooo… let’s move on.

Desiree gets the last one on one… They climb up a mountain and repel back down… Insert: some terrible, generic dialogue about how relationships compare to repelling down mountains… And they are at the bottom.

Sean set’s up a picnic, they climb a tree (which I LOVED, by the way)… At night they head into a teepee.  Super cute.

BUT… did anyone else start to notice that Desiree is REALLY agreeable?  Almost TOO agreeable?  It kind of started to annoy me.  If Sean said ANYTHING, Desiree was all smiles, “Totally!  Yes!  I feel that way!  I AM that way!” Sean could have said, “I really hate puppies and sunshine.” I am pretty sure Desiree would have responded with, “Me TOO!”

She opens up about not having money when she was growing up and how her family lived in a tent on several different occasions.  This was surprising to hear, and impressed me greatly that Desiree has remained so humble and seemingly frugal…  She gets the rose:  Daniella is back at the hotel holding a WTF sign up in an interview.

Sean makes it back to his room, sits down, stands up, puts his coat back on and dumps SARAH!!!

I KNOW!!!

Didn’t it seem to happen THAT fast?

I did NOT like this part of the episode… BUT… I do think that Sarah and Sean plateaued the last few episodes.  And when Sarah was sharing the photos of her family and ESPECIALLY when they kissed at the end… You could tell that Sean just didn’t have those romantic feelings for her anymore.  I agree with the decision to send her home because he was not feeling it… But, OUCH that was hard to watch.  Her exit interview was one of the hardest in the franchise… fo sho.

Cocktail party…

Grey, three-piece suit from Sean.  Killer.  I love three piece suits… so bad ass.  He looks better, he is feeling better… and the one on ones were awesome.  (Probably because Tierra didn’t get one.  Hahaha.)

Lindsay and Sean have a really fun moment together where they try not to kiss each other.  I am a little bit worried that they are getting a little too physical and nothing deeper is happening between them.

While I did LOVE how the AshLee, blindfold, scarf thing worked out in the end I DIDN’T LIKE how it started.  It just felt like a “bit” too much like a “thing” and not enough like a normal conversation.  Right? Was this just me? The whole, “I am giving you this, it is a scarf, and a representation of me letting go.”  I don’t know… the word “scarf” just sat funny to me in that moment.  After he tied it on, and they walked, and he picked her up and carried her. THEN it was pretty awesome… she cried, it was sweet… but uh… that could have been awkward.

Daniella and Selma get the boot. Selma could have gone at any time for me.  She was WAY TOO “princess-y” for Sean, and Daniella just did too little too late… I remember her asking, “what happened?” I think the answer was, “nothing happened…” that was the problem.

Speaking of something happening…

Um.

Something did happen the other weekend.  I, uh… Well.

I am engaged!  My girlfriend Emily and I have been dating for 7-8 months now, and though I honestly could have asked the question 6 months ago (seriously)… I got a ring, dropped to a knee, and she said “yes.”  It was easily one of the BEST days of my life. We gave the full story and photos to US Weekly who were wonderful.  They did my brother and Deanna’s wedding and I am so glad Emily and I were able to share our story with them. Go check it out on the newsstands, and you can read about how I did it, see pics of the ring, and the actual engagement.

And let me say this… Some of you have watched me on TV for 3 years now, you have read these blogs, or sent tweets, commented on instagram or sent messages on Facebook… I promise you I have read EVERY one of them.  It has always been my belief that, “if you take the time to write it, I will take the time to read it.”  Because of that, I have gotten thousands and THOUSANDS of well wishes from all of you about finding love… And I first want to thank you so much for that love and support.  Seriously, thank you.  And the second thing is to just let you all know that I FOUND IT.  That I am really happy. Emily is my perfect match, she is my best friend, I think she is SO HOT, and so beautiful.  She is caring and kind, she loves me SO MUCH, and I love her back more than I could write in a blog, certainly, and more than I could ever put into words. That is why I had to get her a ring, cause words just wouldn’t do it.

The “story” of our love is actually put in a song…and while it might seem like I am shamelessly trying to plug my music (which is about 7% true). My latest single, “Our Love Story” (yes, it is on iTunes) is ALL ABOUT US!!!  And I love that song because of it.  Give it a listen if you want to know more : )

OK! I have to stop or I am going to keep typing for an hour.

I am in LOVE… And I want to end by giving my wishes to you on your quest to find it.

Always,

Michael.

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