Michael Stagliano’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 9

So-wat-dee!

Yea…I just Googled that…it means “Hello” in Thai. OH YEAH!

Welcome back blog friends. Hope your week is going well. It’s an average of 79 degrees in California this week and after traveling across the continent the last 2 weeks… I am GLAD to be back in the sunshine… I hope this blog puts a little bit of warmth in your life if you are elsewhere in the country…cause DAYUMN! I just visited (or flew over) you… And it is COLD in other parts of the world.

Ok. Enough of the weather.

It’s recap time.

Ready?

Yes :)

GO!

I am…

…Wait who is this?

We open the episode with a recap of each of the girls and their “journey” so far with Sean. I have to admit that there really IS a “journey” element to this whole thing, and while 10 weeks isn’t a TON of time to meet someone, fall in love, and get engaged… it is SOME time… and the recaps were a reminder that these women have come a long way.

The first date of the epi has Lindsay smiling and laughing, throwing out “amazings” like it’s CO2 she just converted from Oxygen.

Sean picks her up, takes her in hand, and they walk down a small path and there, fired up on all 2 cylinders is a motorbike taxicab… She can barely speak!!!

“This is amazing”, she says…And I was honestly thinking… Lindsay… that is one of the most not-amazing things I have ever seen. It was a taxi… Hahahahaha!

They hop on, take a ride into a market, hold hands and stop at a bunch of little vendors. Lindsay doesn’t want to eat a bug…then does. They do some light shopping. It was everything AWESOME that Tierra’s date (also in a market) was NOT… and it is, of course, riddled with kiss after kiss after KISS.

Changing scenery they make their way to a beach, at sunset, with these bad ass little monkeys running around. Sean tells her that he feels like she is her best friend. Lots of good stuff going on. They run into the water, kiss some more, get changed, and head to dinner.

Lindsay blurts out a dozen more “amazings” when she sees two giant Thai boats and a picnic/dinner in the middle of a bed of flowers. Hahahaha. This brought out another phenomenal quote from Lindsay, ” There was like, and entire bed of flowers made from pedals”…I am unsure what else flowers can be made of. It was like saying, ” There was all of these trees made up of branches”… hahaha. OH… I laughed.

They discuss some serious things like moving to Dallas and love, which has Lindsay about ready to POP with uneasiness. They head to the fantasy suite, she barely eeks out an “I love you”…another light hearted, flirty, fun, high-school-love, date…ends for Sean and Lindsay.

AshLee has the 2nd date I am already cringing a little. She is just SUCH the polar opposite to Lindsay, and especially with them having back-to-back dates… I am (we are) bracing for a serious dose of SERIOUS!!!

They hop on a boat…and…correct me if I am wrong but even in the first 30 seconds of them being together, I could just tell that Sean KNEW he wasn’t going to pick AshLee that week. The way he was sitting back, not facing AshLee… More on this later, but…

They pull up to a cave, Sean announces they are going to swim through it to a private beach. And of course…AshLee starts talking about trust and abandonment and bla blee bloo…

LOOK… I really don’t mean this in a negative way towards AshLee. And I like her, I think she has overcome a lot, and I don’t mean to belittle that in anyway… But. You have a choice how to handle terrible things that happen to you, ESPECIALLY things that happen to you when you are very young!!!

(Honesty time)

When I was little (4 years old) my brother and I were sexually abused by a babysitter for months…IT SUCKED! I can still remember my brother’s face on some of those nights. And the cliff notes version of it all is this: Don’t get me wrong it was terrible, and I think what happened to AshLee being abandoned so many times was terrible… But you can choose to live life after that as something that will make you stronger or something that will weigh you down. My honest hope for AshLee is that she is able to let it go. I couldn’t believe how loving and supportive her family was. It seems like she has had decades of love and support from her family. I’m praying that AshLee can focus on THAT instead of the skeletons in her closet.

In my opinion (and it is ONLY my opinion) what happened to her in the past kept a real connection FOR SEAN impossible. CLEARLY, AshLee had a connection, but it seemed like Sean constantly had to “prove” himself, or talk about trust and reaffirm, and reassure, and “protect” and all this serious heavy stuff… Life isn’t mean to be that way, love isn’t mean to be that way. At least not all of the time. HOW OFTEN did you just want to see the two of them LAUGH A LITTLE, and talk about ANYTHING besides TRUST.

On the night portion of the date, and during the fantasy suite… I also kept noticing how “fantastical” AshLee viewed love. Like it is this “thing”, this all-consuming, soul connecting, life-embracing, powerful, healing, THING… And from what I know of love (and trust me I AM IN LOVE)… only SOME of that stuff is true… For the most part… I would honestly say that the single biggest thing I think of when I think of love… is FUN. When two people ENJOY each other, when they have FUN with each other… And please, please… don’t misunderstand me, things like passion and vulnerability and trust and marriage…those are some heavy, deep things, that HAVE to be there for real love. It was my observation that whenever AshLee talked about love she was ONLY commented on/focused on those HEAVY things…and none of the light-hearted, FUN qualities of love.

OH…and the conversation about, cushion-cut, diamonds around the band, 6.5 ring size… was BRUT.

OK…moving on… and sorry. I feel like I just ranted. I don’t dislike AshLee, I just think she has a skewed perception of what love is.

Catherine comes bouncing into frame. All smiles, beaming to see the man she loves. And honestly, Sean was BEAMING as well. 2 minutes into the date, I KNEW AshLee was going home just by how different Sean seemed around Catherine. They are nerdy together, and giggly and fun and DO still leave time for some serious conversation. I loved the back-flips off the boat, the 1×1, 2×2 times table competition (rolled after the episode, but was on that date). Sean pegs her with a tough question and says, “I know it easy to say “yes” in this environment…but, tell me honestly if you would move to Dallas.” And I think he is straight up ASKING, if she would cause he wants to know the answer… NOT a hypothetical.

They go snorkeling, they kiss in the rain, and they both just smile and Smile and SMILE around each other. It’s awesome. And during the fantasy suite there is only more of that.

I also LOVE the way the fantasy suite was handled by Sean. Truth be told the Fantasy Suite is the one part of the show is pretty gross. Right!? Let’s be honest. I have heard (and I will not name names) that there are Bachelor/ettes in the past that take all 3 to the FS, and have sex with all three… WHAT the WHAT!?!?. I really appreciate that that is NOT Sean’s intentions at all. Instead, he is interested in face-time off camera, no interruptions, just TIME to pick his wife… super dope.

Before the Rose Ceremony Sean sits down with Chris, and definitely knows who he is going to send home. Correct me if I am wrong…but… EVERYONE (you) knows he was sending AshLee home, right!?!?

He is torn up about it, and rightfully so. AshLee does seem to be a remarkably sweet, caring, patient, understanding, humble, respectful woman. All AWESOME qualities in a woman. I think Sean just never saw anything more than the serious side of AshLee…

Once Catherine and Lindsay get the roses… AshLee is staring DAGGERS at Sean, leaves without saying goodbye to the girls (bad start) and barely gives Sean the chance to explain himself.

She is crushed and I don’t think she is faking it all, and she honestly looked confused… In the limo, exiting, she says something to the effect of, “I didn’t come here to play a game, I took this very seriously, not to have fun.”…. And I think that is EXACTLY why she went home. Well, because of the last two things she said. She took it VERY seriously and she did not have fun…

Getting back to my point earlier… Relationships HAVE to be fun. There has to be some part of you that WANTS to be around the other person because you enjoy their company. I think Sean saw all those attributes in AshLee, I think he had love and respect for her, but just didn’t have fun with her.

And look, I am no relationship expert or wizard. I am SURE AshLee can have fun, and does all the time. I don’t claim to know her, or know her well enough to say definitely what she should or should not do in her life… not at all. But based on what I saw from her the last 9 weeks… I hope she is able to “de-fantasize” love a little bit, and really focus on finding someone that she can enjoy life with, and laugh with… Cause holy hell those things are important.

WTA next week. Gawn be a doosy! What the H is Tierra going to say!! You have to admit you missed her being around!!! Drama-free TV is NOT as entertaining as drama-filled TV. Hahaha.

I feel like I got see A LOT of fans traveling the last two weeks in airports and around Toronto and Chicago. Thank you for coming up and saying hello. And please PLEASE don’t hesitate to come and say “hi” grab a hug and a picture. On a few occasions, there were people just standing off in the corner snapping pictures from a distance… that is definitely the WORST of the two options people. COME SAY HELLO! Hahaha.

Also, I know you are reading this Emily. Hahaha. So. I love you.

Catch you all on the flip side.

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