Natalie’s Bachelor Blog: Episode 5

Puerto Rico: Ben is getting his Puerto Rican swag on with his Sister Wives…

After Ben left Park City, I realized his search for love is officially illegal.  Chris Harrison delivers the first date card and it’s in Spanish. The look of confusion on Casey S. and Elyse’s faces when Jamie read the date card in Spanish were hilarious.  They looked as confused as I do when someone offers me a beer.  DUH! I only like wine! (Cough, sneeze, throat clear, hint hint, Ben. I need some of your wine shipped to me ASAP.) As Courtney rolls her eyes, Nicki jumps up and down with delight that she finally gets one on one time with Ben.

The irony of Courtney’s shirt is ahhhhhhmazing.  When she looks at her shirt, she must think it’s opposite day.  Bad guuurl needs a swat on the nose by a rolled up newspaper.  Nooooo!

Ben and Nicki:  Estas enojado que te buscas esta sentivo para nada? Soy una maricon.

Ben winks in a pretty creepy way when he asks Nicki, “Can’t wait to see the island, huh?”  Oh boy.  Rumor on the street is that Ben asked my dad (God) to make it rain earlier that day, because word had it, Nicki was wearing white.  Now that they are “wet,” Ben suggests that they go shopping for Old Puerto Rican clothes.  I would die to have this date!  How fun!  I love different eras and cultures of fashion.  This is up there on my lists of dream dates!  I’m sort of obsessed with what they picked out to wear.  In the beginning, Ben stated he had Puerto Rican swag and I couldn’t agree more!  Check out his skeez!

Nicki looks festive and sexy in her bold colored maxi, and Ben looks suave in his Puerto Rican, Latin swagger, gangster wear.

Most Americans only know about 5 words/phrases on average in Spanish.  Any chance an American gets to use them with a Spanish speaking person, gives them a hard on.  It’s embarrassing to watch these five words/phrases get overused this episode:

1.) Como Estas

2.) Muy Caliente

3.) Bien

4.) Si

5.) Hola

Nicki has a heart to heart with Ben and announces that she will only get married again if it’s “the real deal.”  Hmmm.  Doesn’t everyone think it’s “the real deal” when they agree to devote the rest of their lives to each other?  Nicki then continues to say that it was hard to see the people getting married.  Um, she is on a date with Ben whom she may potentially be engaged to within a few weeks and she can’t even watch a happy couple get married, because it brings back memories of her old marriage?  Hmmmm…as much as I like Nicki, she is nowhere near ready for this type of commitment.  As Cannon in D plays amongst this awkward wedding they are creeping on, I wonder if Ben will give her the rose.  OK, she got the rose.

The only thing more awkward than Ben and Nicki’s kiss was Monica’s dress from last week. Ben is sitting Indian style facing her, but her body is facing straight forward and her uncrossed legs look uncomfortable. Nice.  I do, however, like Nicki’s baby blue, bodycon strapless dress.  The fabric hugs her toned body showing off all of her curves.

Group Date:  Too bad Monica isn’t still here, she is used to batting for both teams.

When Chris enters the baseball stadium telling the girls that only the winning team will continue the date through the night, I thought Courtney was going to be a lot more upset that Ben chose Lindzi to automatically continue the date win or lose.

“I didn’t know that strippers knew how to play baseball.” – Courtney Haaaamazing.

Is this how strippers dress to play ball?  Note that every girl there was wearing their baseball t-shirt normally except Blakeley, who found a way to skank it up.

WOW.  Some of these girls are so uncoordinated it’s unbelievable.  Watching them catch, throw and run was like watching Bambi on ice.  Blakeley was irritating the crap out of me talking like a softball coach shouting things like, “Come on Jenniferaaaaa!” as she smacked her gum.

Watching the girls cry in the bus was sheer comedy to me.  Have I ever gone on a couple dates with a guy and cried like a 17 year old girl when I couldn’t spend more time with him one night? Ah hell no! These girls are derailed in the love department.

I have one burning question for you all:  Ben’s throwing error…intentional?  I think so!  Kacie B. and Courtney are his chosen ones and they were on the same team.  He realized if he wanted more time with them, then they would have to win.  Trust me, I would have done the same thing!  It’s his future, after all.

Ben and Elyse: Yacht the hell? Elyse gave up her job AND best friend’s wedding to be on TV?  Freudian slip.  I meant, to gamble with love?

Finally, we get to see something we never see on this show.  A date on a yacht, or something like that.  These two have zero chemistry, but the date seems fun.  I would never have wasted the “yacht” date on someone I didn’t want to smooch away with during the sunset!  It was obvious Ben was not giving her the rose, and from the start of their date I was on my hands and knees praying to God that Elyse would not beat him up when he denied her.

Ben makes a toast to Elyse about being the best-dressed couple on the beach.  Judging by their attire, they are OBVIOUSLY the only couple on the beach. O.M.JAYSUS I’m freaking out here!  It’s coming! It’s coming!  Is this going to be pay-per-view worthy? Ahhhhhhh psych!  She leaves in tears in a little tugboat.  Damn.  I needed her to stick around to entertain me.  Courtney sums things up for us as to why Elyse didn’t get the rose when she states, “Maybe she drank too much and the Jersey Shore came out.”  BOOM.

Ben and Courtney: Word to your Mom. She came to get down. 

These two nuggets go skinny-dipping in the most awkward of ways.  I can’t imagine what his mom and sister are thinking at this point.  Maybe in real life this would have been kind of fun and crazy, but given the circumstances that she knew his family and friends would be watching is insane to me.  I may have taken my top off on the Bachelor Pad, BUT, I wasn’t trying to fall in love AND we were in a nude pool for crying out loud! (I’m still justifying the situation to myself, so screw off.) Courtney pretty much begged and pleaded for Ben to take her skinny-dipping. Even as they were stripping down, they didn’t say a word or even playfully laugh. It was like a first, open mouth kiss at a co-ed party in 7th grade.

Rose Ceremony:  Someone call the Doctor, Emily is vomiting up words.

It’s obvious that Courtney told Casey S. about the skinny-dipping.  The two are exchanging laughs back and forth the whole time.  I guess every villain needs a sidekick!  #TeamSatan (we will call them). Hahaha, I joke, I joke!  Ben is honestly making me question his integrity and motives as he smooches up on Jennifer at the cocktail party, only to send her to the curb before women he clearly has no feelings for, such as Jamie and Casey.  Poor Jennifer:( I felt awful for her and am honestly so confused.  Did this not catch anyone else off guard?

On a Courtney note, I think she acts almost the same in front of Ben as she does in front of the girls.  She begged him to skinny dip, she makes little jabs at the girls right in front of him, she talks in a different tone with him that sounds fake, she doesn’t look at him sincerely and a lot of guys would be able to see through that.  I don’t feel bad for Ben at all.  He is a grown man making his own decisions.  For all we know, he may like girls like that.  Aside from Courtney’s obvious catty side, I think her one-liners are absolutely hysterical and she is making this a damn good show to watch!  You may not like her, but you have to admit it! To be honest, if I were Ben, I’d be so exhausted by the end of this that I would just want to be alone and single.

As for Emily, I see where she is coming from, but she should have learned to keep quiet from last week’s squeal.  She sincerely cares about Ben and isn’t telling him about Courtney selfishly.  She is doing it selflessly for him.  Emily knows that making Ben aware of Courtney will make herself appear as either jealous or a tattle tale in Ben’s eyes, but she cares about Ben so much that she just wants to see him happy whether it be with her or another nice girl there.  

Did Emily shoot herself in the foot this time?  Not quite yet.  Lucky for this “damsel in a dress,” she got a rose. 

The Good:

I’m loving Lindzi’s cute, one shoulder sequined frock!  The loose fit is the perfect style to pull off sequins, as it doesn’t come off tacky or easy.  Does this girl ever have a bad day in fashion?  Nope!

Courtney always looks great at the rose ceremonies.  I wouldn’t expect anything less considering modeling clothes is her job and she probably had access to several show rooms before she came on the show. The empire waistline, baby doll cut works well for her long, lean body.  I also appreciate how she wore a revealing neckline in a tasteful way.  Unfortunately, ladies with natural or fake, large yambas can not pull off what Courtney is wearing tonight without looking bigger. GetzStyle Tip:  Dress for your body type.  There are so many styles of dresses out there. Do your research and choose which is best for you.

This is the best shot I could get of Rachel’s dress, so I apologize.  I’m in love with the Mustard color, cinched waistline, gathered material, short length and overall fit.  She looks phenomenal!  Come on, ABC!  Give us some better shots of the best dressed!:)  Oh wait, this show is about love, not fashion? (Talk to the hand.)

The Bad:

Jennifer has issues in the dress department, but not the love!  I’m sure this sweet girl will have no problem finding a good dude.  I have many in mind for her already:) Must befriend! On a negative note, her dress was a little too hippie looking for me.  I was waiting for her to pull out some peyote and start talking about being a vegan or something.

Jamie’s dress looks like Gadzooks knocked up Forever 21 and out popped a hot mess. I mean, what is going on with this girl?!  She is so cute, but the only time I’ve legitimately ever heard her talk is when she says, “yes,” after Ben asks her to accept the rose.

“Threads of Shame” Vault:

Jamie’s dress tonight. *Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Jamie’s 3rd time being in the vault.  Can she escape her dreaded title of worst dressed?  Can she pull off a comeback?  Time will only tell.  I sure as hell nope not, because then I will have less to laugh at.  If I liked everything, I’d be bored, so thank you, Jamie.

GetzStyle Award:

Rachel wins!  I just simply loved her mustard colored rose ceremony dress.  It was playful and flirty just like her sweet personality.  I wish we had more clear shots of this dress.  Hopefully Possessionista will clear up the mystery of where to find this fabulous dress in her blog this week!

Every single one of these women has the chance be an “accessory” to murder Ben’s single life.  The question is, who will live to see another date?  You never know what war you will be fighting when you wake up everyday.  Make sure you are dressed to kill.  

X O X O

Natalie Getz

Catch “Gossip With Getz” Tuesdays LIVE at 5pm PST www.TheTVSpot.com

Twitter: @nataliegetz

26 Comments »

  1. Love your blog! But, if you think Ben looks suave in his Puerto Rican, Latin swagger, gangster wear, can you imagine the handsome & newly single, Roberto “Dimples” Martinez in his native Puerto Rican clothing! Hot, Hot, Hot!!!

    Comment by Karen — February 1, 2012 @ 12:08 pm

  2. Natalie, you hit the nail on the head with your comments about Courtney. As evil as she is, the show would be boring without her! I also laughed out loud at your comment about Jamie’s dress. This is one of your best blog entries yet:)

    Comment by essie022 — February 1, 2012 @ 12:17 pm

  3. Natalie I love your blogs. I feel like you are able to do it justice without attacking peoples’ characters. Great job!

    Comment by Melanie — February 1, 2012 @ 12:29 pm

  4. Haha obsessed with your blog. However, no love for Casey S’s dress? I thought it was cute!

    Comment by Jacie — February 1, 2012 @ 12:57 pm

  5. Love this!!! And I completely agree about the Jennifer thing when he didn’t pick her I was like woahhh did I miss something in their lil one on one almost rewound the show. Ha being an okie myself I was really pulling for her, maybe it was the strike out :)

    Comment by Kristin — February 1, 2012 @ 1:19 pm

  6. So much fun to read your blog unlike the ones the men write (P.S Constantine blah blah) You go girl!!!
    Love the way you put in tiny teeny style tips here and there. Most awaited blog. Keep up the good work ;)

    Comment by NiceGal — February 1, 2012 @ 1:35 pm

  7. I seriously think I love reading these blogs more than I actually love watching the Bachelor. Today’s is spot on, Natalie. I completely agree about Jennifer — how can he make out with her and then send her home. I also agree that he should have a clue by now about COurtney. His skinnydipping with her is hard to defend. Yikes. I couldn’t agree with you more about the fashion this week as well. Jamie and Jennifer had hideous dresses at the rose ceremony. I also loved Emily’s blue dress. So cute.

    Comment by Phoebe — February 1, 2012 @ 2:06 pm

  8. Other than your fashion observations I find that many of the bloggers and viewers are not in agreement with you. Last night, you Erica and Jackie all confessed to feeling Ben is a good bachelor. This week many, many lost the remaining respect they had for Ben. It took two to do the naughty, and Ben knew his family would be watching. This has no comparison to your time in the pool. Ben told The Ellen Show he wished a mole had told him what was going on in the house. That makes it seem he has seen the light. And is probably no longer together. Besides what did he think Emily was trying to do. & production is keeping Emily. She is beyond his final 4 and the meaning of that has been divulged by former castmates.

    Comment by Divr — February 1, 2012 @ 3:13 pm

  9. Yes, right now your blog and Ashley’s are my favorites. Michael is really offensive with his proselytizing and judgments on everything – not to mention most of his comments are by paid flacks.

    I wish you would comment on their hair and makeup, as well as clothes – and only 1 Getz style tip this week!

    Comment by Allissa — February 1, 2012 @ 3:13 pm

  10. I love your blogs! You certainly have a way with words, always manage to laugh out loud when I read your blogs! Thanks for doing a tremendous job!!! I think your right about Courtney, as much as I dislike her actions, she keeps us guessing as to what she will do next. I do hope he ends up with Casie B, she seems so genuine. Can’t wait for next week’s blog!

    Comment by Caroline — February 1, 2012 @ 3:22 pm

  11. Why would Courtney think about his mom and sister seeing her naked on tv? If I was her I would be more worried about my own family seeing me naked on tv! just sayin’ ;)

    Comment by Angela — February 1, 2012 @ 3:35 pm

  12. Karen: I couldn’t agree more! Roberto is a gorgeous specimen!
    Essie: Thanks, girl! What would a show be w/o a villain to stir things up a bit;)
    Melanie: Thank you for recognizing that! I try to poke fun in a light hearted way:)
    Jacie: I also loved Casey S.’s dress and realized I didn’t put it in my blog after I sent my final edit! I’ll give her more love next week:) She always has the cutest clothes!
    Kristin: I know! I DID rewind to see if I missed something! I can’t believe he kissed her and had a good chat with her, then sent her home before Jamie and Casey who he clearly has zero connection to!
    NiceGal: You rock! I’m actually putting more fashion tips in next week as this week I lacked in that area a little:) Thanks for being an awesome supporter!
    Phoebe: Yep! Agreed! He didn’t need a mole in the house- she acts the same way in front of his face! He must be very passive or possibly he just likes girls like that??? Bah!
    Divr: Shoot! Forgot to say why I liked Ben as a bachelor..lemme clear it up:) I like him as a bachelor b/c he is keeping us on our toes and making it entertaining. The fact that he has been pissing viewers off is why I like him…b/c I like watching drama on reality TV heehee;)
    Allissa: Good call! I’ll start commenting more on hair and makeup next week:) It’s a huge compliment that you love both me and Ashley’s blogs. Hers are my favorite! She cracks me up! Thanks for the love:)
    Caroline: That’s what I love to hear! Love making as many people laugh as I can on a daily basis:) Thank you for being awesome and saying such kind words!!! (HUG)
    Angela: Very true! I must say, I felt like a delinquent fool when I had to explain to my parents that they would be seeing me take my top off in a nude pool on the Bachelor Pad. Thank God they love me hahaha! But yes, skinny dipping is way different. Much more risque. I would never have done that had I been looking for love on national TV!

    Comment by Natalie Getz — February 1, 2012 @ 4:00 pm

  13. hey Natalie, scrap your video crap show, you are so annoying, you are not funny, not even a little bit. It’s no wonder you cannot find a boyfriend let alone a husband. Guys do not like chicks who behave like you do. Not cute.

    lol at 34 people watching your stupid show

    hope that class you go to after your show is “charm school” because you so need it

    Comment by Bach Freaks — February 1, 2012 @ 4:14 pm

  14. Bach Freaks: Thank you for making yourself look like a complete crazy bachelor stalker. You seem like a nice person who simply has some insecurities? Hmmmmm…..try church? btw, I am never single and currently am not. I am very private in that area of my life. Hating on everything in life and tearing everyone apart is only making one person miserable and that is you. Next time you are in LA, let’s get together and chat face to face about this;)

    Comment by Natalie Getz — February 1, 2012 @ 4:45 pm

  15. Love your blog. Just have to say didn’t his messed up throw actually help the blue team come back (i.e. not Kasie & Courtney’s team)

    Comment by Jaymi — February 1, 2012 @ 5:17 pm

  16. I vomit in my mouth whenever Ben is on the screen. Great blog.

    Comment by Penny — February 1, 2012 @ 6:44 pm

  17. hey marcia! always love your blog. my favorite comment this week “looks like Gadzooks knocked up Forever 21 and out popped a hot mess.” even B was laughing at that one! hahaha. and yes, i was wondering about that skinny dipping too. what a dumb man! he has so many quality ladies to choose from, C is obviously a ho-bag. who DOES that?! and that has no comparison to your topless jaunt – it was a TOPLESS POOL! you go girl! and also SO confused as to what happened with jennifer. my jaw was on the floor – i heart her. bring her to my wedding as your plus one! xoxox – JAN

    Comment by debra supan — February 1, 2012 @ 8:16 pm

  18. Bach Freaks: Firstly, Natalie’s show was watched by approx 100 people, & why would she stop her show because you’re annoyed. Duh! Natalie is hilarious w/a great, friendly personality; you’re simply jealous & no one cares. C’mon, just cause she makes jokes about finding guys & likes to have a good time, certainly doesn’t indicate she can’t find a boyfriend. She’ll have no problem when she’s ready to settle down…believe me, guys love girls like her. You oughta tune in to Cscinsack’s nasty, hateful show, if it’s even still on. Sounds like you’d fit right in, although maybe he found a job after all these yrs.

    Comment by Camilla — February 1, 2012 @ 9:51 pm

  19. I agree that Emily should have kept quiet, but I’m not sure I would have been able to in the same situation. It was sad to hear her say after their talk “I think he hates me”. Has any lead ever made a person feel that way? Sad to say, Ben looks like a jerk and probably shouldn’t have done the show.

    Comment by Judy — February 2, 2012 @ 4:56 am

  20. Group Date: Too bad Monica isn’t still here, she is used to batting for both teams. – I die!

    Still laughing at the Gadzooks comments.

    Gosh darnit Natalie I love you and your blog!

    Comment by Ashley Spivey — February 2, 2012 @ 9:10 am

  21. I love your blog Natalie! I just had a question…what were you trying to say here?

    Ben and Nicki: Estas enojado que te buscas esta sentivo para nada? Soy una maricon.

    I’m looking forward to your blog next week!

    Comment by Vanessa — February 2, 2012 @ 9:57 am

  22. Jaymi:You are probably right! Woops! Guess I was paying more attention to my vino than the show lol:)
    Penny:HAHAHAHA!
    Debra (Jan): I miss you and will most def bring Jennifer to you wedding:) Let’s rack our brains now on who we can fix her up with! Thanks for reading my love!
    Camilla: YOU ROCK! Thank you for having my back! I want to hug you right now:) Thank you for all the nice things you said, makes me smile:):):)
    Judy: Yes, she was right in speaking up. Shows she really cares for him. I wish Ben would have nice about it. That took a lot of courage for her.
    Tater Tot (Ashley Spivey): I Just love you. I really do. I wanna hold my lil tater tot like a baby! Can’t wait to read your blog!
    Venessa: HAHAHA I was wondering if anyone would actually look up what my espanol sentence meant. It reads, “Are you mad that you looked up this sentence for nothing? I’m an A-Hole.” Hee hee hee;) Thanks for reading my blog every week:)

    Comment by Natalie Getz — February 2, 2012 @ 10:15 am

  23. I asked this question on Dana’s blog too, but I’d love your opinion as well, Natalie.
    Why doesn’t the show provide some wardrobe for the girls? Maybe even just for the top 10. I would think it would be hard to pack for weeks of television and try not to be caught wearing the same thing twice. How did you do it on this show as well as BP? Because you always looked great :)

    Comment by Bella — February 2, 2012 @ 12:07 pm

  24. Bella: Great Question! We all have to provide our own wardrobe. If you notice, the outfits get worse and worse as the episodes go by b/c the girls are running out of things to wear. I packed about 4 humongous suitcases for each show and still felt like I had nothing to choose from. On Bachelor Pad, True Religion and other retailers gifted us with a ton of clothes to wear while filming, which was awesome, but the dresses you have to come prepared with. Once it gets down to the top 4 girls, they can sometimes go shopping with a production assistant to find a new dress. Thank you for the compliments and for reading my blog! Hope that helps clear it up. PS- I always feel bad for the girls who get sent home night 1 after they packed for 6 weeks of potential filming!

    Comment by Natalie Getz — February 3, 2012 @ 9:27 am

  25. 1) I semi-agree about Courtney. I think she is witty, sarcastic and pretty darned funny. I’m sure some of the other women are too but we just haven’t seen those clips of them. BUT, I don’t see her as a villain or as evil. There are enough claws in that house to fill a zoo so I’m not sure why she’s being singled out.

    Let’s be clear here. It takes a ‘certain’ kind of woman who would submit their application for the show, think they could be selected from thousands then imagine themselves pretty, smart or whatever enough to be picked out of the 25 that Ben has to choose from. They are about #winning. There are a million other ways to meet someone where you aren’t duke-ing it out with other chicks for 6 weeks.

    2) I’m not buying the pristine Emily edit. She’s a crap starter. She’s a PhD student who can’t take a clue when a guy is obviously telling her not to tell him who to like. It’s fine to be concerned that another girl isn’t there for the ‘right reasons’ but maybe he takes it as an insult that she is questioning his judgement. Sorry. I think that Emily is used to #winning and in this case, her ‘brain’ isn’t #winning over the ‘sexy model.’ SHE looks catty and desperate to me. She’s not Ben’s mother, sister or ‘friend’ so if that is the role she wants to play, she needs to go home – which is actually always her option if she has such a problem with how things are going, right?

    3) ABC blocks out the actual nudity so I don’t get what people are having strokes over. Many had coronaries over Natalie exposing her boobs and, except for a bikini bottom, I don’t see the difference in the behavior. Some people are just comfortable that way and some are exhibitionists. So what? The Bachelor/ette isn’t a childrens’ show and adults know that other adults get naked … what’s the problem?

    4) Natalie, you don’t need to get defensive and go after the commenters who criticize you. It makes you look insecure and thin skinned. You DID end up on camera crying after the guys on BP implied that you’d never have a husband. In the past, other male contestants have made comments on camera or in their blogs that implied that you weren’t wifey material. So, just has you influence people with your comments about other contestants, other people’s comments have influenced people’s opinion of you. I don’t think you’ll have a problem finding someone when the time is right but you can’t get mad when people judge you the way they are judging Courtney because a) you’ve displayed Courtney-like behavior b) you are pretty snarky and judgmental too when people hit a raw nerve with you.

    Comment by Liza — February 4, 2012 @ 11:41 am

  26. Rozlyn Papa + Kalon McMahon + More Callousness = Courtney Robertson
    Rozlyn (Fast, Flirtatious, Snarky, Naturally Good-Looking & Hot, Uninhabited) + Kalon (Isolated, Mostly Unsociable Yet Impressive {with words and manners/not being the self-proclaimed horoscopical so-called cliche “Yada yada I’m a good judge of character.” while 99% is epic fail.}, Targeted, Impatient, Cheeky) = Season 16′s ultimate nugget, Courtney.
    I don’t find Courtney manipulative at all, okay maybe a little bit, she’s not like Bentley who get all of it planned out though; but mostly she is impatient, intolerant, callous and brazen.
    For Bentley Williams; I don’t know a good thing about him at all except that he isn’t as much of a clueless turd as William Holman and can sure fake attentiveness. But seriously individually, there isn’t anything that make him likable as far as ABC has aired. He ran away from the Men Tell All. So I don’t know. They bash everybody else in general. They are fast seducers. 3 weeks, he stayed; Bentley though do not seem to have a problem with anybody. Maybe it’s because males don’t pick up on his little cues like females do.

    Comment by PostCourt — April 12, 2013 @ 6:11 am

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