Natalie’s Bachelor Pad House of Style Blog: Episode 5

Episode 5: I’m so sick of watching people I know do dumb s#%t on TV

It’s a struggle for Blake to pull it together. He wants to be with Holly and is obviously disappointed about being Erica’s partner. I hate being a total jerk here, but seriously, get control of yourselves! Filming lasts 3 weeks…how can you not put your romantic feelings aside and play the freaking game? And for the record, if I hear Kasey reference Vienna as his girlfriend one more time I’m going to freak out. I’ve taken it upon myself to make fun of him to his face every time I see or talk to him about his terminology for his girlfriend. In fact, I’m going to start calling her “girlfriend.” Yep, it’s her new name.

The Nearly Wed Game: Michael Stagliano is a cheater and Graham had a perverted, disgusting childhood babysitter

MoneyBunn’s strategy was genius, but not as genius as her outfit.

I’m obsessing over her bright yellow heels paired up with some killer red skinny jeans! She wore a basic striped tube top under a flirty cardigan and looked super trendy. They are playing the game exactly how Dave and I did! I remember going over everything with David and making up certain answers that were easier to remember than the truth. We chose the same # for everything as well! Erica and Blake are surprising me with their smarts, but not as much as Holly and Michael are surprising me with their lack of knowledge! These two know so much about each other and are missing obvious answers. Meanwhile, Kasey clearly has a tooth obsession and would rather look at his girlfriends grill than her rack. The second Graham held up Michael’s name as “most likely to cheat,” I knew he and Michelle has some sort of strategy going on. Furthermore, I’m relieved to learn Graham did not lose his virginity at 7. Thank God MoneyBunn won! They need some alone time together! I’m just as excited to watch Blake and Erica’s date.

Kasey says, “The money is so close I can smell it.” As he says this, he sniffs two of his fingers and I’m officially nauseous and slightly excited to make fun of him to his face. Me making fun of my friends to their face is a form of affection. If I’ve never made fun of you, I probably don’t like you.

Graham and Michelle: Team MoneyBunn 

I enjoyed watching these 2 attractive people fall in love with each other. I’ve always had a dream that Graham and I would meet one day and fall in love. Then, when my drop dead gorgeous amazing BFF (Ms. Money) told me she had a crush on him and was leaving to live in the Bachelor Pad with him for 3 weeks, I realized this dream would never be a reality. Talk to the hand Michelle, talk to the hand. Okay, he’s certainly no Jeff Goldblum. If you disagree with me, don’t you dare make a nasty comment about Jeff G. on my blog. I have a serious intense crush on him and will be offended if you offend him. Wait, I forgot what I was even blogging about because I have Male ADD, meaning I can’t focus when I start thinking about men I’m crushing on. Furthermore, I have the attention span of a 2 year old.

These two are smart, understanding filming is 3 weeks and they can control any emotional or sexual feelings for the time being out of respect for themselves and others. I wish I could say the same about everyone else in the house, but hurting other’s feelings is far too fun for some of them. Would I have loved to see them have a romantic fantasy date? YES! Would it have made me super jealous of Michelle? YES. Am I excited to snuggle with her all week as she stays with me in LA? YES!

Blake and Erica: Lingerie Fail

She already had me rolling on the floor laughing with her funny one-liners throughout the episode, and this date pushed me over the edge. From her telling Blake that he should have sex with her to doing a 180 and telling him he is a Gemini who she doesn’t like at all, I pretty much have a 6 pack now from laughing through 5 episodes of Erica. Thanks, girl!

Are they going to church for their date? Blake looks ready to praise the Lord in his boring suit and uptight-knotted tie. Blake, you know I’ve got nothing but love for you, so don’t get your panties (or the pair Erica wore for you) in a ruffle. Wait, they are definitely not at church. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. The hotel is named “Mission Inn” for a reason and Erica is on it, throwing out all the stops to have sexual relations with Blake. She even tells him their affair would be a one night deal with no strings attached. She is the most blatant, honest person I have ever seen on TV. This. Is. Incredible. Blake denies Erica’s offering of her flower because he doesn’t want to look like “that guy.” Dang it! I wanted them to stay the night with each other to stir up drama in the house! Now that Melissa is gone, it’s smooth sailing and not as fun to watch. I need the drama or I get bored. I wonder what Bentley’s doing right now…

Anyway, these two make the biggest mistake ever and give Kasey and his girlfriend (who apparently doesn’t want to have sex with him) the roses. As Ella put it, Blake really did make a deal with the Devil. And that’s a compliment to Kasey, because clearly he is the biggest threat in the house and playing as good of a game as he can. He has literally been on the chopping block every week and has proven himself by manipulating people into doing what he says week after week.

Fashion: What, the couch?

Ella: She looked curvaceous and stunning in a short dress complete with a sweetheart neckline to show off her bust line. The belt that she added to the dress gave it a personal touch. I’m not a fan of the pattern of the dress or the type of belt, but she gets an A for effort for the style and cut of the dress. It fits her body type perfectly showing off her best physical features.

Michael: I LOVE this look on a man! Vests, if worn properly, are one of the sexiest things a guy could wear. Blake has a habit of wearing vests and they look great, but I like the way Michael wears them better. Michael keeps it more edgy by leaving a few buttons undone from his shirt and tossing the tie. Blake always has his perfectly knotted tie on with his vests making him always “prom” ready.

Michelle: Michelle’s dress is casual and ideal for a Bachelor Pad Rose Ceremony – simple and sexy. I love how her maxi dress flows through her body as she strides into the voting room. Maxi dresses are great for those of us who want to appear a little bit taller!

Holly: THIEF! Somebody call the cops. Holly stole fabric from the couch and sewed together a dress. Holly! I don’t want you to go to jail over something like this. I would miss you. You definitely have proven you need to win the money due to this misdemeanor.

Kasey’s Girlfriend: I love the back of this silk tank that Kasey’s Girlfriend is wearing. The double spaghetti strap racer back style gives her back sex appeal and the dropped armpit allows more of her back to show!

GetzStyle Award this week goes to none other than MoneyBunns. They are now number 1 in my mind, so Graham gets to be her co-winner.

“Be daring, be indifferent, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.” -Cecil Beaton

Until next week my fashionistas! Oh, and don’t ever give up shopping. No one likes a quitter.

XOXO

Natalie Getz

Twitter: @nataliegetz

17 Comments »

  1. I couldn’t believe it when they gave Kasey and Vienna the roses. I was expecting that to go a completely different way.

    Comment by Rebecca — September 7, 2011 @ 11:03 pm

  2. This is your funniest blog yet! I can’t believe I have to wait until The Bachelor to read your blogs again:(

    Comment by Laurie A — September 7, 2011 @ 11:11 pm

  3. hilarious as always! thanks for a fun blog.

    Comment by aditic — September 8, 2011 @ 12:47 am

  4. Awsuuum :D
    I hate Viennas hair… She keeps having that nappy look in every episode.

    Comment by LooKa — September 8, 2011 @ 1:29 am

  5. i too have a 6 pack now from laughing at your blog. can I come spend a week with you in LA? So much fun we would have.

    Comment by Jennifer Long — September 8, 2011 @ 11:42 am

  6. Congrats – excellent job this week! Loved reading it, you’re hilarious.

    Comment by bsheer — September 9, 2011 @ 1:48 am

  7. Can someone tell me why I am not surprise that Natalie,
    chose MoneyBunns to get the GetzStyle Award?

    How often have we read Natalie say Ms. MoneyBunns is her
    very BFF?

    We all remember that Natalie also voted for Ms. Money
    as the very best in the ladies swim contest.

    Whew, we all dodged a bullet that Natalie & MoneyBunns
    were not in the kissing contest. 2 guesses and the first
    doesn’t count who Natalie would have voted to be the very
    best kisser not only in the house but in the whole universe?

    I find it strange that you criticize Blake for not putting
    his ‘romantic feelings aside,’ and play the game, yet you
    think it is perfectly OK, for you not to put your girl crush aside and continue to vote for your very best friend
    as the winner for everything that you are the judge.

    Thankfully the finalist’s put their feelings aside and
    voted for Holly/Michael by a landslide over your BFF MoneyBunns as the winner of Bachelor Pad 2. :)

    Just saying…

    Comment by Rosie — September 9, 2011 @ 2:41 am

  8. Natalie…you are always funny and refreshing. As a fan of this crazy show, it’s fun to read the blogs by all the past members of the show. Can I just say that I love the fact that you are open minded and can give an opinion, yet be kind. I’m just not a big fan of people like Jesse who apparently likes to make things more personal and angry.

    Keep us laughing and best of luck to you!

    Comment by Jo — September 9, 2011 @ 4:38 pm

  9. jesse cinsak is a really stupid person. not bc of what he says, but just bc of his blog. it’s so worthless. there is zero content. it’s his opinion on the cast every week. that is what message boards are for. if I didn’t watch the show, i’d be able to know what went down bc at least u recap it. i didn’t like u on jason’s season but i loved you on the pad. your blog gets funnier and funnier! keep it up natalie. i wish jesse would have got punched in the face instead of gorgeous graham who jesse is obsessed with being.

    Comment by Laurie A — September 9, 2011 @ 4:58 pm

  10. This is possibly my favorite blog on this site. Now when I see the outfits, I wonder to myself what Natalie will say about them. Good stuff!

    Comment by Rebecca — September 9, 2011 @ 8:31 pm

  11. Luv your blog, Natalie! So funny and interesting and now I have to go back and look at the outfits!

    I can’t believe that Blake & Erica gave the rose to Kasey & Vienna! Such a bad call! The should have waited until the very last 10 minutes, so that the rest of the couples could plan and gang up on them. I think the best play would have been to give it to Ella & Kirk and getting Kasey & Vienna off and shake it up. No imagination. An what a snake Kasey is! How could anyone possibly trust him! He lies in every episode.

    Can’t wait for the finally. I am praying that mr. frog and his “Girlfriend” do not win!

    Thanks Natalie you are the best!

    Comment by luvsunshine100l — September 10, 2011 @ 1:36 am

  12. I don’t know why, but every time I look at Vienna, I feel like I’m looking at a hotdog wiener that has crossed eyes.

    Comment by :D — September 10, 2011 @ 11:10 pm

  13. Nat,

    You are an awesome writer! Keep up the great work! LOVE reading your blogs!

    Comment by NatFan — September 11, 2011 @ 2:08 am

  14. Just want you to know that I love your sense of humor. I also love that you are never hurtful with your comments. You can critique the fashion and how the contestants play the game, but you do it with respect, humor and love.

    I think Holly and Blake are cute together. Blake is totally different when he is with Holly. It is too bad the show mostly showed him in a negative light.

    Please, as a good friend to Holly, stick up for her on next weeks Beatdown. The very immature Jesse has said some pretty awful things about her,and even though she has taken the high road and is not responding, she deserves to have someone support her vocally.

    Comment by Louise — September 11, 2011 @ 12:43 pm

  15. LOVE LOVE LOVE your blogs Natalie!! Very entertaining! Can’t wait to read your take on the finale! Keep up the good writing!!!

    Comment by Tanya — September 13, 2011 @ 6:55 pm

  16. funny blog. it was unfair of michelle and graham, they cheated to win but it was smart. but they could’ve come up with some numbers that would fit the questions better so it would seem less obvious.

    Comment by le — September 16, 2011 @ 9:53 pm

  17. I agree with you that vests are sexy on men. I think it looks best on Blake though knotted tie or not, cause he has that perfect physique and great broad chest – his “V” body shape and great neck is showcased well in vests and in V-neck T-shirts. Blake has a hot body, no doubt. I think its partly why Melissa was losing her mind, and Erica wanted some of that – but he’s all about Holly. I like that they are together.

    Yes Michelle is a great dresser, and makes statements with it. And Holly dresses nicely and knows her fashion too. I noticed the color of her dress and prints matched the couch too. I’m not usually a fan of busy prints, but I loved her dress and the couch – picture perfect moment too.

    Comment by Sharice — September 21, 2011 @ 5:41 pm

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