NATALIE’S BACHELORETTE BLOG: EPISODE 3

Episode 3:  Egg Breaking, Tears and Incest.

FINALLY, this episode gave me some serious entertainment.  You know it’s good when you are touched with the following emotions during a 2-hour reality television show: sadness, laughter, repulsiveness and embarrassment.  Emily is clearly making a few obvious connections, and this week we see that she will no doubt find love…or lust.

Emily and Chris’s date:  “There ain’t no elevators, honey.”

I have difficulties with Southern Accents and Southern Slang combined.  I can handle it, as it’s often cute, but all I am saying is that I struggle with the combination of the two. Chris’s obsession with Emily in a harness makes me wonder if he has been mistaking a porn shop for the local library.  After climbing up a building (very original, I might add), they eat dinner atop the roof.  HELLS NO!  You won’t ever find me doing anything to conquer my fear of heights.  It’s simply not important to me.  I don’t need to prove a point by putting my life in danger.  Do you have any idea how devastated people would be?  Ugh.

Emily gasps as she learns Chris’s old age of 25.  I told you in my first blog he looked more 35 than 25.  He definitely has older features and carries himself like a man should.  This good-looking catch is growing on me and obviously Emily, as she gives him the rose despite his lack of an experienced past.  Yes, he had a girlfriend of 6 years, but he hasn’t been on the single market long enough to find himself.  Or has he?  I don’t know…not the point. They continue to dance away to one of Chris’s favorite country bands and then, of course, make out like college students at a Dave Mathews Band concert.

Side note:  You know that sexy, baseball player jaw?  Doesn’t Chris look like he belongs on the packaging for the gum, Big League Chew?  If you don’t recall that brand of gum, you probably are too young to be reading my blog.  Shut your laptop and get back to bed.  IMMEDIATELY.

Group Date:  Is Tony still using his “Kermie” voice?  

Does Emily ever have a bad day?  Well, I’d hope not when she knows she is being filmed… but still.  She looks great dressed down in a pair of bright blue, cut off jean shorts and a boyfriend cut sweater.

The guys are divided into teams to play a little friendly game of football together, but not until after Ryan opens up his big, dumb cocky mouth and puts Emily on the spot by being obnoxious, calling her out on her kiss with Chris the night before.  He then continues to not only interrupt Emily’s “girl time,” but he goes on to tell her that if she were to gain weight he wouldn’t want to be intimate with her.  I sincerely hope he sticks around for a while.  There is something entertaining about watching someone make a fool of themself.  This is why I enjoyed watching myself on TV, perhaps.

How is Ostrich Egg guy going to catch a football when he is holding Shelley?  If he is really going to name his egg, which is so weird in the first place, at least give it a better name than that of one trending in the late 70′s.  Aside from the egg, all the guys in this frame are dressed casually cute.  Alejandro for sure had the best swagger of the group sporting an edgy pair of board shorts and a basic red crewneck.  Hell, even Stevie had on a cool shirt.

GetzStyle Tip:  This is an example of how you can mess up a V-neck.  The “v” needs to be a lot deeper.  It’s all about the cut, people!  On a good note, Michael is giving me ideas of how I’m going to wear my hair tomorrow

After a very long, tiring day, Tony is feeling depressed and guilty about being away from his son.  He misses him so much that he can’t handle being away from him any longer.  Tony shows how great of a father he is through his true emotion and obvious love for his child.  I have so much respect for this guy it’s unbelievable.  You have to go with your heart, and his heart was with his child.  I have no doubt that Tony will find a terrific woman to spend his life with :) Once again, Emily carries herself with patience and class as she respectfully lets Tony go home.

Sean getting the rose was a total highlight for me.  Even though I don’t see him and Emily together in the long run, it’s nice to hear a man speak so highly and maturely of love, children and family.

Highlight of the date?  Watching Emily’s girlfriends grill these guys.  Making these guys take their shirts off and act ridiculous was pretty hilarious to watch.  One of them even told Ostrich Egg guy that his egg was disgusting and continued to ask him if he fertilized it himself.  I’m basically in tears at this point.

I’m not a fan of the Peter Pan look going on here.  Let’s face it, Emily makes everything look great. That being said, she totally pulled it off but I don’t like the general design of the top.

Emily and Arie:  Dolly Parton has a huge set of personalities.

Emily takes Arie to Dollywood to meet Dolly Parton.  You know, just a typical first date.  Totally normal.  Emily is apparently Dolly’s biggest fan, so this is really neat to see. It’s so clearly obvious that Emily and Arie are going to make it far together.  They have such a wonderful thing going on right now.  Their passion for each other is undeniable!  I feel as though the two of them can be in a room with nothing but silence and have the most incredibly time.  I want to quickly address the recent news about Arie.  It’s not fair to judge someone on their past, especially when it’s posted on a gossip web site.  I started reading the article and never finished for two reasons.  It was really long and I have severe ADD, and also because you can’t believe everything you read.  Everyone is having a cow that he was at a party at the Playboy Mansion and hooked up.  Side note:  The Playboy Mansion isn’t what everyone thinks it is.  It’s pretty much just another nightclub in a mansion setting.  So what if he was there and met a girl? Such is life and living it.  Making mistakes and learning from them.

Cocktail Party:  Compromising. 

This photo is pretty much self explanatory.  Alessandro tells Emily he is an incestuous Gypsy who can’t even take care of a small pet.  I mean, all of that on top of his super sweet hair do and awkward accent with a lisp, Emily missed out on a great catch.  If you weren’t laughing hysterically during his limo exit, I feel like you are lacking in the humor department.  He stated he was shocked Emily sent him home after he pretty much told her that Ricki was a compromise.

Arie and Emily once again look like a hot, classy couple.  While he comforted her after her bizarre time with Alessandro, their chemistry was impeccable.  I don’t think I’ve seen anything more real that this scene right here.  He ran into her in the hallway, they had a real, un-produced conversation, and you can tell she is majorly falling for Arie just as much as he is falling for her.

Sean and Emily share a very sweet moment.  He had perfect timing to tell Emily how much he would embrace and love Ricki after the Alessandro incident.  He basically told Emily that he would love Ricki just as if she was his daughter.  He also said something very important:  That he knows he is ready to be a father, because his father showed him how through example for the past 28 years.  He brings up a great point.  No one is ready to be a parent until they actually are a parent.  Just because he doesn’t have kids of his own doesn’t mean that he can’t step in and give Ricki unconditional love.  It’s either in your heart or it’s not.  Sean is such a good guy.  I’m so, so impressed by him.  I don’t think he is the one for Emily, but I know he is the right one for someone and will have no problem finding her. Or him. You know, it’s 2012.

I’m happy Emily is finding so many connections with her guys, however, this show isn’t fair!  LOL I’m serious!  When I meet a guy and am into him right off the bat, I cut off my ties to all other guys.  If I had a wonderful moment and passionate kiss session with him, the last thing I would want to do is go smooch another guy in the same night.  That’s why this show is tough as a contender. It’s hard to be into someone as you watch them build the same relationship they have with you with several other people.  I feel like this is why the couples from this franchise that actually stay together are so strong, because they have already been through the worst.

Let’s break down this photo.  Michael needs to focus on rehabilitating his hair style.  Kalon needs less hair gel, less trendy glasses and less of a “Grinch” smile.  I don’t know why, but he just looks like he has bad breath.  Arie needs to just stay the same.

After the rose ceremony, Doug is literally falling asleep during the toast.  His face is saying, “Girlfriend, quit it with the speeches and let me go to bed.  I normally wake up at 6am every day and go to bed by 10pm because of my son.”

And there it is.  Just as I thought I couldn’t be more turned off to Minzillian accent Alessandro, he wore a polo here in the outtake.  I’m going to vomit.  I’m on a plane right now and the flight attend won’t let me crack a window.  Deep breaths.  WWAD (What Would Arie Do)

The Good:  Is it me, or does Ryan’s look this episode resemble David Levi Good?  

I love Ryan’s casual style.  A tailored suit over a V-neck t-shirt is one of the sexiest looks a man can wear.  GetzStyle Tip:  This look is super basic and easy to pull off.  In order to do it right, make sure to invest in a suit that is rich in fabric and specifically tailored toward your body.  The V-neck is crucial.  I know what you are thinking.  How can you mess up a V-neck?  Trust me, there are ways.  Since the V-neck is a focal point, it needs to be the right material and the “v” needs to hit in the right area.  Dome V-necks are super high cut and look ridiculous.  For a nice fitting V-neck at a reasonably cheap price, check out AmericanApprarel.com.  If you buy them here, you are guaranteed to perfect this look.

Once again, Chris looks fantastic.  This charcoal grey, pinstriped suit over a pale purple button down and horizontal, multi-colored tie screams trend.

Alejandro perfected a VERY difficult look.  He pushed the envelope in style and passed with flying colors.  Or lack there of.  Combining a black suit, black shirt and black tie, he still managed to look trendy and put together.  He is so stinkin’ cute!  The earrings are still getting on my nerves, however.

The Bad:

While Emily’s dress is by NO means bad, I personally do not like the style.  I’ve never been a fan of the keyhole neckline.  Also, I feel like the dress didn’t fit her very well.  I will add that she did a great job mixing up her style by wearing black cowboy boots.  That’s one of the most interesting things about style…pairing stuff together that generally doesn’t work.  One of my favorite “looks” is partnering up an outfit with normal and original.

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