NATALIE’S BACHELORETTE BLOG: EPISODE 6

Episode 6: Worldly Gifts

Emily is off on her own without her daughter by her side in Croatia to find a “deeper” relationship with the guys. It seems highly out of place that Emily is carrying her own suitcase up the stairs here. Is this supposed to mean something? Like she is independent or something? I always picture her as high maintenance, but not in a bad way. So, ya. This was funny to me.

Emily and Travis: Balancing naked

Up until this episode, I didn’t know what Travis’s name was. He will forever be Shelley to me. Travis and Emily stroll through town doing touristy things like shopping and dancing with street performers. THEN, something crazy happens. OK not really, but Emily tells Travis that if he can’t balance naked on a stone, then he will never be lucky in love. Travis couldn’t balance for shit, and he certainly upset Emily by not taking his shirt off. To be quite frank, after watching Shelley get ready for his date, I am not super disappointed.

Travis is now doomed as they enter the dinner portion of their date. Travis tells Emily he “dates girls like her to a T.” I believe this is where he completely lost her. Emily is probably thinking, “Ah hellz na! Ain’t no girl out there on my level, son!” Travis is super sweet, but they are not connecting on a romantic level. AT ALL. Needless to say, Emily doesn’t give him the rose and the floodgates open. His limo exit reminds me of Kacie B.’s on Brad’s second season. Tears? Flowing. Anger? Lil’ bit. And then, alas, the “I’m never gonna find anyone to love me…why can’t anyone just love me” lines come out as I sit back and enjoy my white trash box wine. Do I feel bad for him? Hell ya! But am I also enjoying this? Yup. Tears are my favorite. As Shelley put it, “This sucks with a capitol S.U.C.K.” I think he spelled it out so that when Ricki is watching him in a state of devastation, she will really understand how he feels that her mommy dumped him.

On a dryer note: Emily’s black jacket was edgy and fun. I like this style on her. So much better than the glitzed out dresses I’ve been seeing on her.

Group Date: Dag-On long date

Back at the mansion, the date card arrives and a cocky Ryan finds out he will be getting the next one-on-one. I missed the next 20 minutes or so of the episode, because I blacked out at the hideousness of Ryan’s female wife beater. While this does not surprise me after the scarf incident from last week, I’m still extremely repulsed. This can’t be one of the worldly gifts he is always talking about, can it be? If so, his gifts suck ass.

The guys get to watch a children’s movie indoors in beautiful Croatia?! My God, that’s freaking sweet! I get it. Emily has a kid. But, between the Muppet’s and now this? I’m starting to wonder whether I’m watching friendships form on Barney or an adult relationship develop on The Bachelorette. I hear that next week they meet The Wiggles and Emily hooks up with the feminine one. Talk about a fantasy suite – Toot toot chugga chugga big red truck. Ya, I watch the wiggles every now and then. Step off.

These outfits are killing me. I know they are traditional and accustomed to the Croatian culture, but no American girl wants to see her man in a skirt. And no American guy wants to see his wife in a turtleneck. Well, maybe Ryan would like that. So long as she is wearing her turtleneck while she is scrubbing the floors with a baby on her back, a six pack showing through her dreadful shirt, and dinner in the oven.

Emily’s short black sequined cocktail dress set the tone for this bro-mantic group date. This dress is both sexy and classy. Since the back is opened up and the dress is short in length, the designer chose long sleeves to tie in sophistication.

The whole reason they watched the movie was to lead them into the games to compete for Emily’s heart. It’s here where Emily can tell which man is strong enough to flip her around in the bedroom… I mean, keep her and her daughter protected. I understand the significance of the movie being related to Emily’s journey, but for real people. I can’t handle this cheese. It’s constipating on so many different levels. Chris sucks at every sport even though he is hot and has a lot of muscles. Emily feels bad for him and after watching the movie, he reminds her of the character with courage and gives him the bravery mug and rose. She also tells Chris that she misses him, just as she tells everyone else as his head does this bobble head thing. I once went on a date with a guy who did that bobble head move. I tried to gross him out so that he would cut the date short. It didn’t work. Longest night of my life.

Emily tries to kiss Chris as a jaw dropping Arie and Jef watch from the background, but Chris kept it G rated, just like the movie they watched. No tongue, no love.

How in the hell is Arie not going to get the rose when he continually pulls Emily aside and is romantic? He walks her away from the party and passionately throws her against a brick alley wall as he slowly makes out with her. I mean, this is the kind of stuff you read about in adult book stores (NOT that I would know?) …he deserves points.

Emily and Ryan: Dirt Nasty

Why on Earth would Emily waste a date on Ryan? Especially this one? She clearly has way stronger feelings for Jef, Arie and Sean. I mean, there isn’t a lot of time left and you would think you would want to spend as much time as possible with the guy you hope to be engaged to, right? As Ryan gets ready for his date, I notice he puts his dirty, traveling airplane shoes on top of his clean clothes. EW! He brings new meaning to his already coined name “dirt bag.” Germ alert!

Starting the date off, it’s obvious Ryan is driving intentionally slow and talking about his great, safe driving skills to impress Emily in case he ever need to drive Ricki around. In turn, he is going to cause an accident for driving like an idiot, well under the speed minimum.

Screwing up continuously with his verbiage, Emily decides not to give him the rose. Ryan cannot handle this. He is so shocked and devastated that he isn’t the second place guy for Emily, which puts him out of the running for the next bachelor.

This gold evening gown is dreadful. I have a feeling Emily is not picking out half these clothes. When she dresses herself I can tell, because it’s more her speed and suits her personality. I like a dressed down Emily vs. a pageant girl Emily.

I mean, after calling her a trophy wife for the 90th time, did he really think this was going to help his case? His limo exit is wonderful. Probably the best I have ever seen. He is probably begging to show him as the awesome guy he is with his worldly gifts and not an arrogant asshole. Um, this proves he is arrogant. He is more concerned in his limo exit to talk about himself rather than his hurt feelings about Emily sending him packing.

Ryan’s future divorce papers:

Filing: Ryan Bowzer
Petitioner Requests: Irreconcilable differences. Bitch burnt my dinner and sent me to work with a wrinkle in my shirt. Also, she didn’t lose weight fast enough after the birth of our child. And furthermore, she is losing her looks.

Rose Ceremony: Emily is a little trickster

Arie is so excited that Emily didn’t give Ryan the rose that he sneaks out to her place to thank her and make out with her. Emily gives him Ryan’s rose, which in my opinion is a total smack in the face to Ryan. I love it! She isn’t even upset about letting him go. In fact, she is on cloud nine with Arie snuggling her bed with that awful dress still intact.

Emily struggles on whether she should send Wolf or Doug home. She goes back and forth with her decision and then entertains me by scaring them both at the ceremony, stating that she can not hand out the final rose. She leaves the room and tells Chris that she wants to hand out 2 more roses. Ah NUTS! She had me going. However, after the sweet conversation she had with Wolf about his love for his grandparents and then with Doug opening up…I am not surprised. Also, if she sent one or both of them home, then they wouldn’t have enough content for the rest of the episodes this season.

The Good:

Arie looks sharp and confident in a black an white checkered button down with a black pencil tie under a well fitted suit.

While I do love the design of this dress, enough with the sequins already! Nonetheless, she does look great with white on her bronzed, well-traveled skin. On another note, I am not a fan of her earring with this dress. Completely out of place.

The Bad:

The Wolf Man made a no no tonight. I’m not a fan of patterned ties. Stripes are cool, but not designs. His style looks like that of what an elderly man would wear.

GetzStyle Award: Arie! He is always wearing a hoodie, sporting the best casual style. I also enjoyed his rose ceremony attire:)

“Only great minds can afford a simple style.” -Stendal

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X O X O

Natalie Getz
Twitter: @nataliegetz