NATALIE’S BACHELORETTE BLOG: EPISODE 7
Episode 7: If I were dating Emily, I’d be slipping birth control in her champagne every night.
I’m more excited to see what Prague has to offer me more so than what the guys have to offer Emily. Being on my bucket list, there is no way my experience will be as great as Emily’s unless I rally 6 guys to join me that want to, as Jef would say, “date me so hard and marry the F out of me.” I’ll just post an ad on Craig’s List.
Wanted: 6 hot, single guys needed for free Prague vacation
*Must have muscles
*Long, dramatic past is frowned upon
*Must be willing to marry me
*Must be emotionally available to open up to me
*May have to spend the night alone with me in a private room. (Restrictions apply)
It’s clearly chilly in Prague as we see the guys wearing sweatshirts and jackets. Lemme break it down for you: Chris Harrison is wearing a double-breasted, tailored jacket with a scarf styled correctly and weather appropriate. (Ryan, stop looking in the mirror for one second and take note of this.) Wolf is in a Ralph Lauren hoodie that is over priced and has an awful looking horse on it. Sean kept it simple. Doug chose North Face. Jef, of course, has on a cool, olive green, water repellent jacket over a hoodie (my dude), Arie may possibly have on G Star and the trendiest coat out of the bunch, and Chris is wearing a hoodie with horizontal stripes. GetzStyle Tip: Keep the basics basic. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again! To me, wearing a Ralph Lauren logo is something an older man would wear, North Face is something every guy in Chicago wears, and the striped hoodie is just not my forte, although it’s fine. Arie’s jacket is very masculine, but at the same time offers us something different with an edgy design.
Emily and John: Lock Down.
John looks like he is modeling for a JC Penny catalogue circa 1991. WTF is he wearing?! He is standing next to Emily who is sporting an edgy, hip look and he is wearing Nautica (or some other old man brand) with hiked up pants, grey pull over hoodie and a pink and white striped button down underneath. WOOF.
This date is incredibly boring, as we see zero connection between him and Emily. They attempted to lock up their love (or something like that), and John couldn’t make the lock click (or something like that). Then they go eat at a mansion and talk about random stuff (or something like that). UGHhhhhhhhhh I never want to have to sit through something like that again (or something like that).
Shawn runs after Emily after she drops John off at the hotel. Emily claims that she is so happy, her face hurts. My face would also hurt if I were fake laughing the whole night on a boring date with John. So, Emily kissed John and Shawn in the same night.
Shawn looks like he wants to get after it, hard core. Emily definitely likes to be slammed up against a wall. And we thought we wouldn’t see fantasy suite dates this season… Shaw right! All 3 remaining dudes are in for a wild, er, ride?
Group date: Broken girl radar.
Holy crap. I laughed my laugh off when Arie read the group date card. He purposefully left a long, dramatic pause before he read Chris’s name. With Chris freaking out this entire episode over not getting enough time with Emily, this was pretty funny. Taking a horse drawn carriage to some old castle in the middle of the Czech Republic, Chris is concerned about the weight limit that the horses can handle. In fact, he kinda obsesses over it. Alas, they make it and, SURPRISE, play hide and go seek.
After Doug apologizes for touching Emily’s leg, she pulls him aside to dump him. And then… ahhhhhhhhhhh, and then, it happens. Doug tried to kiss Emily as a last ditch effort to stick around, but it couldn’t have been worse timing. God, guys are so dumb! When us girls have to ask for something, we no longer want it. GetzWithItTip: A girl wants a man to do things for her without her asking. We want a guy to be aggressive and take charge. If we have to ask for intimacy, chances are we no longer want it anymore. It’s lost its luster, loser.
Emily looks terrified at what Doug is about to do here! I’m more terrified of her Shockin’ pink trench coat. I wish she were wearing a little bit more of an edgy trench to match her own, personal style. GetzStyle Tip: Emily’s trench looks like it’s from Ann Taylor, which is perfectly fine for an older woman or a boring girl. Since Emily is 26, I can see her looking more up to par in a trench from GStar Raw or All Saints.
Doug thinks his “girl radar” is broken, but I’m starting to think a very important muscle of his is broken. I mean, he shot down a beautiful girl left and right this whole season. In Doug’s limo exit, he claims, “I want to find the right girl for Austin and I to have our own family. That safe place. And I feel bad about that everyday, man.” This makes me want to cry:( His tears are coming out of love for his child and the guilt in which he cannot find someone to complete his family. I feel so sorry for Doug. BUT, now that he has been on this show and all of America has seen him (women who otherwise would have never known he existed), I think he is going to have plenty of options of women banging down his door. I’ll be polite and ring the doorbell.
It’s now a two on one as Emily gives Shawn and Chris keys in order to see who unlocks the door to the first one on one conversation. This is a completely pointless approach and exhausting to be quite honest with you, considering they are both going to get to talk to her at one point and it’s not like the guy who doesn’t get the rose is going home like an original two on one.
Why are the guys not in hot tubs? Shirtless and in swim trunks? Why is Emily depriving us of this?! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I am starting to miss hot tubs and helicopters. Here is a photo for all of us heathens to stare at since Shawn didn’t have his shirt off. Shawn and Emily make out as Chris paces back and forth waiting for Emily. Chris then freaks out when Emily gives Shawn the rose, and in all fairness, she didn’t have to do that right in front of Chris’s face. She could have pulled Shawn aside and made it more romantic…I mean, it was kind of a big deal.
Emily and Jeff: Yesterday. I want kids yesterday, damn it.
Jeff has definitely played inappropriately with dolls before. He’s almost too good at making the scary Michael Jackson marionette do all kinds of dance moves. It was pretty smooth of him when he ran back to get a doll for Ricki-Tick as him and Emily were leaving to play dolls in the library. I cannot, for the life of me, imagine my boyfriend and I traveling to Prague, creepy doll shopping and then playing with them in a library. Where did this idea even come from? A child psychologist?
As Dana Weiss (aka Possessionista) and I were watching this episode together last week while preparing for her show, we both had to pause to obsess over Emily’s fringe wedge ankle booties. Check out her website on details about where you can find these. I can guarantee she has all the information up! possessionista.com.
This little reenactment of their relationship is freaking hilarious! Anyone else other than Jef would have been so boring and awkward. He tells Emily how much he is in love with her, but doesn’t look at her in the face. He is staring at his awkward doll! He covers up for any awkward moments by asking if they can get a dog. He then asks Emily when she wants kids and Emily replies, “yesterday.” Look, I’m glad these two are being honest, but damn! That’s some serious baby talk. They are actually having one of the most real conversations I’ve ever seen on this show. Jef tells Emily, “I wanna date you so hard and marry the f*** out of you.” I believe he was being PG about really wanting to say, “My something is so hard and I wanna something the something out of you.” I mean, good gracious. They are rolling around on a library room floor, making out, talking about making babies…can we just get these two a room?
Emily and Arie: Can’t nobody take my pride.
I’m all about putting pieces that normally don’t go together to create a unique style, but this is pushing it. This combo really doesn’t work for anyone. Sequin shorts with rider boots, a buttoned up collared shirt and a blazer make for a frumpy look. I definitely see where they were going with it, but in general, I’m just not a fan of the top portion. This look can be easily fixed with just a few slight changes.
I absolutely love Arie’s outfit. Patches on the elbows of a blazer make it more fun and raw.
These two are spending what seems like a typical day sight seeing Prague until Emily’s producer Cassie drops a bomb. Cassie went on 2 dates with Arie like 95 years ago. BIG. FREAKING. DEAL. Yes, I understand Emily feels stupid, but they didn’t need to make such a production out of it. Good Lord! This is called life! Cassie did the right think by not telling Emily right away. Yes, sounds bad, but this TV show is all about building a connection at a fast pace. Had Emily known this right away, she would have always looked at Arie differently. Cassie is not just a producer; she is Emily’s producer. She does all of Emily’s interviews, so she was probably worried Emily wouldn’t open up as much about Arie during their interviews had she known about the past. That wouldn’t be fair to Arie. The same goes for Arie. He didn’t want Emily looking at him in a different light. Cassie told her at the appropriate time and all is good. Let me break this down for you: Say your bff dated the new guy you are dating a really long time ago. You probably wouldn’t want to share the intimate details of your new relationship with her, would you? Well, Emily was in a position where she had to open up to Cassie about Arie for the TV show, making it hard for Cassie to tell her the truth. Aside from all of this, I think it’s cool that you all got to see a little behind the scenes action as to how these interviews go down.
Emily and Arie had a very intense date with highs and lows. I think the fact that they moved past this so quickly and fell even harder in love speaks volumes of what they have!
Man oh Man!!!!! This is not a good fashion episode for Emily. I’m really surprised, because normally I LOVE everything she wears! Again, we see a matronly top that looks like something a cougar would wear. Not only is it some sort of animal print, it’s blinged out in sequins as well. After watching this season, I never want to see another sequin again. Ruined! I really don’t think Emily has been having a whole lot of say in some of these outfits and dresses. It’s all very nice, high end, very expensive clothing, however, that doesn’t mean anything. GetzSyle Tip: Style has nothing to do with a price tag. For instance, Christian Louboutin’s are so over rated. I would never in a million years buy a pair. Some of his crazy, extreme designs are super cool, but the basic black pump that every girl feels the need to own because of the tacky red base that looks bad with any dress is a joke. Stop shopping for labels, start shopping for style.
John is 100% confident he is staying. I’m even more confident he is leaving. I mean, honestly? He sees what Emily has with all the guys (including Chris) and he really couldn’t tell Emily wasn’t into him on their date? Poor guy:( I bet the girlfriend who cheated on him threw several red flags that he didn’t catch. If he thinks Emily is so into him that he can be THAT confident? He just doesn’t get it.
Emily tells Chris Harrison that it is glaringly obvious after this week that the relationship she thought wasn’t moving forward proved to not move forward this week. She is obviously talking about John. Chris would have gotten the rose regardless of his chat with Emily during the ceremony, but I do commend him for being brave and manly enough to pull her aside. I guarantee this “no cocktail” party is because producers know Chris is spazzing out for no reason. They know he is getting the rose, so they are almost messing with him, which is entertaining. Watching Chris cry makes me want to hold him:) I love when a big, sensitive guys sheds manly tears. He is so stinkin’ cute!
All 5 guys looked great at this weeks Rose Ceremony. Who are your top 2 picks? Honestly? Mine change every week! I’m torn between Arie, Shawn and Jef. For me, if I had to pick right now, I’d choose Arie. If I had to pick right now for Emily I’d say Jef. This girl has some tough decisions to make!
Emily’s dress this week, once again, is not my favorite. Maybe it looks better in real life? Often, clothes look very different on camera due to the material and texture. While Emily does look great in anything, think of how amazing she would look if I were picking out her dresses:)
The finest clothing made is a person’s skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this. ~Mark Twain
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