Nick Peterson’s Bachelor Pad Blog: Episode 1

Oh crap.  Put on your onesie pajamas, grab a glass of wine, and kick back for a wild season of Bachelor Pad.  Well, at least we know SWAT is.  There won’t be any “easing” into this season…we’re coming out of the gate naked, drink in hand, and hooking up with as many girls as we can within the first 2 hours of meeting each other.  Well, at least we know Chris is.

We start off with the hometown introductions.  Ed and Reid are our businessmen, Blakeley waxes hoo-has, and Kalon drives a Ferrari.  No wonder he doesn’t have room for baggage…his cars are two-seaters.  The twins rain personal info on us, Paige is exploding with excitement, and David has been hoping that one of the challenges is boxing.  Because, well, he’s been preparing.

We see about half the cast get out of the limos and Porsches, and the other half magically appear in the foyer with smiles.  Trash talking begins.  Normal.  People drinking too much.  Normal.  Somebody stripping to their underwear upon arrival?  New one.  Ed (hence forth Capt. Underwear) tests out the hot tub by himself…and everyone could tell it was pretty cold.  And not by the way Capt. Underwear acted either.

Chris Harrison comes in, rounds up Capt. Underwear, makes a speech, has to round up Capt. Underwear again, and then closes with the fact that our first challenge begins that night with the picking of our partners.  Teaming up goes fairly smooth, aside from Jaclyn who is stoked that she is left partnering with Capt. Underwear Drunk.  Morning arrives and we’re going to be ‘Falling Out of Love’.  I didn’t even know I was IN love.  But I sure am good at falling out of it.  The heart boxes are conveniently made for those under 5’8”, so locking out my legs wasn’t an option.  I just did a wall-sit until my legs gave out, arms sweating profusely, and couldn’t hold it anymore.  Lucky us…I’m the first to drop so we have 1 vote against us going into the rose ceremony.  David (5’8”) and one of the twins (5’3”) win the challenge and get a romantic date on the Santa Monica Pier.  Aaaaand top it off with some skinny-dipping.

Scheming begins and Erica and I must fight to turn the attention on the fans, because we know they’re gunning for us.  David, who dons the nickname “ugly loser” from Erica, has diarrhea of the mouth and lets everyone know his genius plan.  Apparently he’s suffered some brain damage from his boxing training he’s been doing.  Fortunately for us, his plan doesn’t work, sending Paige and SWAT home.  On the flip side, it left me with no workout partner in the mornings.

I quickly realized that Bachelor Pad was going to be one tough challenge.

 

-  Nick Peterson

13 Comments »

  1. You seem like a solid guy and I hope you make it far even without your morning workout partner :)

    Comment by Armina — July 26, 2012 @ 4:12 pm

  2. Nick, thanks for this.

    Just a tip: images really help blogs move!

    Comment by Allissa — July 26, 2012 @ 4:53 pm

  3. funny

    Comment by andrea — July 26, 2012 @ 6:47 pm

  4. I’m just ordered life-like silicone dolls that look just like Blakely and that fan chick Donna. They don’t talk back or express opinions so that’s great and silicone warms up and I can even cuddle with them. If anyone is interested, just google “human-size silicone dolls.” You have to make sure you clean all the orifices regularly though. And don’t beat up the dolls – I had an off day and banged up one of my dolls and her face is permanently deformed and I am so mad at myself for doing that. I am so excited about my Blakely and Donna dolls. I have 3 sitting in my apartment already (Kelli, Mandi & Cyndi). Kelli is my “wife” and the other two are girlfriends. Best thing I have EVER done for myself since the restraining orders.

    Comment by bachobserver_31 — July 26, 2012 @ 9:07 pm

  5. “No wonder he (Kalon) doesn’t have room for baggage…his cars are two-seaters.” Haha – good one, Nick! Hope you do well on the show and my condolences for having Erica as your partner.

    Comment by Lola — July 26, 2012 @ 9:13 pm

  6. Very funny and well-written. If you want to write more next time, that’s fine! As fans, we really like hearing behind-the-scenes stuff, so whatever you can say that won’t violate the “rules”, we’d love to read it!

    Comment by Jennifer — July 27, 2012 @ 8:28 am

  7. Great blog. Very entertaining!

    Comment by Claudia — July 28, 2012 @ 5:16 am

  8. Bachobservor, you have really upset me and my 2 fans with your comments. When I put up my blog again, after my vaca, next week, I will be really pissed if you get on my blog. Don’t post on my blog, I’m warning you!

    Comment by Ashley S. — July 30, 2012 @ 4:27 pm

  9. Ok Ashley S. I won’t. I’m sorry.

    Comment by The bachobserver_31 — July 30, 2012 @ 7:38 pm

  10. What happened, Nick? You used to be this blonde beefy dude! You have completely changed your look! What caused the change?

    Comment by Bp watcher — July 30, 2012 @ 8:27 pm

  11. Nick, you are such a jerk! i cant believe you didnt share the money! like god so much had happend to Rachel and you just HAD to hurt her even more! god you need to grow up!

    Comment by Ciara — September 10, 2012 @ 10:20 pm

  12. Nick you rock and so glad you did what you did!!Best moment ever on any Bachelor show!! You are the best, you never lie, back stab, or no low life stupid crazy stuff like everyone else, and Rachel was so rude and everyone totally under estimated you.God Bless you in all you do.

    Comment by Lori — September 11, 2012 @ 4:14 pm

  13. You are a self centered egotistical jerk with real issues. The reason nobody chose u to begin with because they could see underneath that you are a cold hearted person. It would be in your best interest and try and make a menz with Rachel maybe offer her something so she doesn’t go home empty handed and to save your reputation. You may have money but not respect and dignity which goes a lot farther in life. I suggest you do some serious soul searching and reevaluate your priorities in life. It made me sick watching you do that.

    Comment by Natanya — September 12, 2012 @ 6:42 am

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